Week of Tears
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its amazing characters.
Warning: This story will contain DISCIPLINARY SPANKING so don't read or flame if this bothers you!
A/N: Hey everybody! sheepish grin So, I know it's been a bit (years), but I finally managed to finish this story! I would like to dedicate this story to Soapdemon34 whose been spurring me to finish this story for months. It's through their persistence and encouragement that I managed to get this done. I write for myself, but I also write for fans who enjoy my work. I do hope you enjoy this story!
This story takes place 8 months after the events of Naughty Newborn. In case you have not read that fic, know that there is no Renesmee and that Bella does not have perfect control. Enjoy!
Chapter 1: Failure to Understand
Bella's POV:
"No? What do you mean no?" I asked in complete bewilderment, certain that I must have heard wrong.
"I mean exactly that, Bella, no," Dad responded calmly, and I shook my head, still not believing what I was hearing. How could he say no? He couldn't be serious, right? He must have misunderstood what I was asking because there was no way he would tell me no if he really understood. Yes, that must be it. I must not have explained what I wanted correctly, so let's try again.
"Dad," I began with forced calm, "Maybe you didn't understand me, but I was asking if we could go check on Charlie, just check on him. I'm not asking to go talk to him or anything, but I need to know how he's doing. Jacob told me that he took my death really hard and I just want to make sure that he's alright, that's all."
"I understood you perfectly," Dad remarked, "But my answer remains the same."
I swallowed, giving Dad a look of clear incomprehension. There was no way, no way he was telling me no. My dad was understanding and compassionate, so why the hell wasn't he displaying those qualities right now? I glanced over to my mother to see if she was as boggled by Dad's answer as me, but she was just staring at me with a sympathetic expression.
"I don't understand," I finally spoke, not even able to feel angry I was so confused. "Why can't we go?"
Dad was the one giving me a sympathetic look now as he stood up from where he'd been seated. "Bella, it's too risky," he answered. "You're supposed to be dead, so what if someone sees you? Do you know how horrible it would be for your father if someone claimed seeing you, or God forbid, he actually saw you himself? It sounds cold and heartless, I know, but the best thing you can do for Charlie is to leave him be and let him mourn you. I know you, baby, and while you say all you would want to do is see him, once you're there you're going to want to talk to him."
"No, I wouldn't," I argued somewhat desperately. "I promise Dad I wouldn't try and talk to him at all"—
"That is not the only issue," Dad interrupted gently. "There is also your thirst we have to take into account. You've gotten much better with your control around humans, but the risk of you attacking Charlie is still too great. How would you feel if you tried to attack him? Then there is the fear of us not being able to stop you, or of the commotion it would create. Again, what if Charlie saw any one of us, or you?"
"That won't happen," I responded with confidence, giving my dad a pleading look. "My control is great, you've said so yourself."
"I have said that," he acknowledged, "but you still need more practice. Just look at what happened last week in town when Edward and I took you to the bookshop. You nearly went after the shop clerk when she got too close to you."
I grimaced, remembering that event all too clearly. It had been a very close call, too close, but… "That won't happen with Charlie, I know it won't," I insisted, but Dad just shook his head. His gaze was kind and full of compassion, but unyielding.
"You're not really listening to me, Bella," Dad said with a bit of reproach in his tone. "The issues of you being seen and your control aside, there's also the fact that we would be breaking the treaty with the wolves. They allowed us to change you on the condition that we would take you away and not come anywhere near Forks for at least half a century, and I don't intend on breaking that treaty. I would like to return to Forks once more."
I felt a flash of anger at this defense, thinking my human dad's welfare was much more important than the stupid treaty with the wolves. "I don't care if we can't live in Forks again! I just want to know how my dad is doing! Why can't you understand that?" I asked, now feeling angry and frustrated. This was not how I had anticipated this conversation going at all.
"Bella," Mom sighed, her tone mildly chastising.
"What?" I snapped at her, starting to grow even angrier at their obvious lack of care for Charlie. "You just don't seem to understand. Charlie is my dad and whatever is wrong with him is my fault. I was all he had left and I was ripped from him suddenly and unknowingly. He had no warning, and now he is all alone, can't you understand that? I have to see him, Dad, please!" I begged
He gave me a pained look in response, reaching out a hand towards me, but I moved away from him. I didn't want his comfort. I wanted him to take me to Charlie. "Bella, baby, whatever Charlie is going through is not your fault, and I assure you he will be just fine. He is mourning your loss, but he is a strong man and he will recover. And he is not alone. He has Billy, Jacob, Sue, Seth, and Leah to help him through this time."
I clenched my fists tightly and resisted the urge to let out a growl of utter exasperation. "It's been 16 months since I was changed, Dad, don't you think that's been enough time for him to move on a little? Jacob told me that he's been getting worse. What if he's sick? I know my dad and he's stubborn. He'll insist he is fine and refuse to go to a doctor no matter what anyone tells him."
"Sweetheart," Mom spoke up, standing up beside her husband, "let's say for a second that we did go, and that your father was unwell, what would you do? It's not as though you could go talk to him or anything"—
"But you could talk to him!" I yelled back, and Dad let out a frustrated sigh as he ran a hand through his hair.
"Charlie wants nothing to do with us, you know that. He blames us for your death, so he will not listen to anything I or Esme have to say. We've tried calling him, you know that and rarely has he accepted our calls. The few times that he has he's made his negative feelings towards us quite clear," Dad explained, regret clear in his tone. "If you really want to help your father, then talk with Jacob and Seth and have them keep an eye on him. They are good boys who care about Charlie and they will see to it that he takes care of himself."
"Jake said that Charlie needs me!" I shouted furiously, tears coming to my eyes as I stomped my foot.
"And Charlie cannot have you," Dad responded with endless patience, his eyes displaying his remorse, "You know that. I'm sorry, I don't know what else to tell you, but my answer will not change. You cannot go see Charlie. You've known since before your change that this would have to happen. I understand how hard it is, I really do, but it is the way it has to be to protect not only us but Charlie as well. Don't forget that exposing yourself to Charlie is a death sentence for not only us but him as well. Is that what you want?"
"No, of course not, but jeez Dad, don't you think you're making a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be?" I questioned exasperatedly. "I mean it's not like I want to do this alone. You'll be with me and you'll make sure I don't attack anyone or get seen by anyone, so I don't understand what the problem is!"
Both my parents exchanged pained glances before looking at me with the same sympathetic, supposedly understanding expressions. "Look, Bella, what if I promise to go and check on him this weekend?" Dad suggested, and I felt a moment of elation before I realized he was referring only to himself.
"But I want to see him, too," I told him, not at all happy with the thought of just Dad going.
"No Bella, how many times must I say this to you?" he responded unhappily. "I'm sorry, but you will not be going to see Charlie. The best I can do is to go check on the man myself, so will that do?"
I crossed my arms and glared, fuming that he was refusing me this simple request. He was making a mountain out of a mole hill and Mom was going along with him.
"Don't be like this," Mom stated, reaching out a hand to caress my face, but I gave her such a fierce glare that she stopped the movement, giving me a look of surprise.
"Isabella!" Dad scolded. "I understand your worry and hurt, but there is no reason for you to be taking your frustrations out on your mother or me. I'm sorry that you are not pleased with my response, but my decision is final."
Feeling another flash of fury I let out a yell of anger as I screamed, "You're being completely unfair and ridiculous!"
"Bella, enough please," Mom called out, once more trying to come over to comfort at me, but I hissed at her before glaring over at my father whose eyes were darkening as he gave me a warning look. I completely ignored it, feeling hurt and furious with his refusal to take me to Charlie.
"Fine, if you won't take me, then I'm sure Edward or one of my siblings will," I declared, giving my parents a defiant look.
"Absolutely no one will be taking you anywhere, Isabella, now I suggest you go to your room now before I decide to address this serious lack of respect you've been displaying," Dad responded with forced calm. He was giving me a challenging look, daring me to defy him while Mom was gazing at me with pleading eyes just begging me to do as Dad said.
I threw Dad a glare before making my way towards his bedroom door. "If no one will take me, then I guess that means I'll take myself," I grumbled mutinously. I was just getting the door open when Dad appeared, slamming it shut with such force that the entire wall shook. He stood before it, blocking my way, his arms crossed as he glared down at me.
"You care to repeat that again, young lady?" he asked in a frosty voice, and I glared right back, unaffected by this display as I responded just as frostily, "I said that I will take myself."
My dad just stared at me, seemingly astounded by my brashness. His eyes were pitch black and his jaw muscle was twitching when he lifted his hand and pointed towards his couch. "Go sit down," he ordered through gritted teeth.
"You told me to go to my room, and now you're not letting me out?" I questioned, and he responded by taking a step into my personal space, which caused me to step back immediately and just head towards the couch. I was feeling angry and rash right now and not at all in the mood to be lectured, but my instincts took control here and urged me to do as the man said. I reached the couch and stiffly sat down, turning towards my Mom who was giving me a disappointed look. I turned back towards Dad now and I saw him with his eyes closed. It was several tense moments before he opened them and walked towards me. He seemed calmer, which was more than I could say for myself. I was tense and keyed up, adrenaline rushing through my veins.
I glared at him when he came to stand before me, and he fixed me with a hard stare. We stared each other down for several minutes until I couldn't help but look away from his intimidating eyes.
"Look at me," Dad stated, his tone once more calm as I did as I was told. His eyes were still black, but he had lost the intimidating glare he'd been giving me. "After all the reasons I gave you, and after assuring you I would personally check on Charlie, this is how you choose to respond?" he questioned coolly. "You decide that you will throw caution to the wind, certain that once more you know better than I, and go seek out your father alone?"
"Yes," I responded brazenly, crossing my arms and giving him a stubborn look. "If you won't take me, then I'll go alone if I have to. I need to see Charlie and I won't let you stop me."
"You won't let me stop you?" Dad asked back, his tone going even colder. He took two steps away from me at this point, pursing his lips as he just stared at me. Mom was gazing between the two of us in concern, but she seemed to sense that this was not a moment for her to interrupt.
It was several more moments of tense silence before he decided to speak. "You know what, Bella, it is obvious you are unwilling to listen to reason right now, so I am not going to bother wasting my breath anymore trying to explain things to you. What I will do is issue you this warning, so take heed my rebellious newborn. You will not under any circumstances be going to see Charlie, whether with Edward, your siblings, or on your own. If you break this rule, if I get a single hint that you are even thinking about breaking this rule I promise that I will make sure you don't sit comfortably for a month; and that is not an exaggeration. The whipping you received for sneaking out eight months ago will seem like mere love taps compared to the punishment I will dole out should you test me on this, do you understand?" he asked, the look in his eyes letting me know every word he spoke was absolute truth.
My eyes couldn't help but widen at his extreme threat, my stomach already fluttering with butterflies at the thought of being subjected to his belt once more. Tears flooded my eyes, a few escaping down my face at the unfairness of it all. Why was he being so mean? Why didn't he understand?
"Isabella!" Dad snapped harshly, "I asked you a question."
I glared up at him through watery eyes, taking in a shuddering breath as I ground out, "I understand."
"Give me your word," he then demanded, and I fought back a choked sob as I said, "I give you my word."
"Furthermore," my dad continued, narrowing his eyes at me, "This attitude of yours, it ends now. I understand you are upset and concerned about Charlie so I will let it slide today, but anymore backchat, dirty looks, and disrespect from you, young lady, and I will deal with you on the spot, regardless of who is around. You forget your place, Isabella, and you forget who is in charge of this family, so let me clear that up for you." I watched as he walked back towards me, stiffening in slight trepidation because of the stern look on his face. He stopped right in front of me, crossed his arms, and stared down at me.
"I am in charge," he declared, looking me straight in the eyes. "This is my family that I created. I am your father, your creator, and your coven leader." Pointing towards his wife, he then said, "She is your mother, my mate and second in command. We are your parents and leaders and you will respect us or suffer the consequences. Is that clear enough for you, Isabella Marie Cullen or would you care to continue to challenge my authority?"
I was frozen, feeling suddenly quite cowed as I gazed up at him and my mom with nervous eyes. I wasn't sure I would able to form a response, but at seeing my father raise an eyebrow at me I somehow managed to unclench my mouth and hurriedly respond, "No sir, I-I mean that was very clear, sir." As I stared at the vampire before me I felt the rebellious vampire in me go completely silent. I instinctually knew that I wasn't looking at my father at this moment, but rather at my coven leader.
"Good," he responded, and just like that the coven leader was gone and my dad was back. The menacing look in his eyes was gone and his entire body relaxed, his face softening. He surveyed me up and down before letting out a sad sigh and crouching down before me. I watched him warily.
"Are you sufficiently calmed enough to discuss things with me now, or should I just send you to your room?" he asked calmly, giving my knee a reassuring squeeze.
"I wanna go see Charlie," I whined, several more tears escaping my eyes as I gave him a weak glare. He let out another sad sigh as he gazed at me, reaching up a hand to wipe away at my tears but I evaded his touch, pulling away from him and moving further down the couch. I wasn't about to challenge him after the display he'd just given me, but that didn't mean I was any less angry with him. He was being downright unfair with me, and I couldn't help but feel somewhat betrayed.
Mom came towards me at this point, sitting down next to me and wrapping an arm around my shoulders. I turned pleading eyes to her as I said, "Please Mom, please take me to go see Charlie. I just need to know that he's okay, that's all, I swear."
"Sweetheart, no," Mom responded with a sorrowful shake of her head. "Carlisle will check up on him this weekend, and"—
"But I want to go!" I shouted, pulling away from her now and standing on my feet. "I don't understand why you guys are being so unfair! He's my father and I have every right to check up on him! Whatever is wrong with him is my fault, so I have to make sure he's taking care of himself."
"Bella, please, stop this," Mom begged, giving me a desperate look. "Why does it have to be you to go see him? If you are worried about him then there is no better person to check on him than Carlisle. He will be able to"—
"No!" I shouted with a furious shake of my head, sobs finally overtaking me. "Charlie needs me! He needs me to take care of him!" I buried my head in my hands at this point, feeling more heartbroken than angry at the moment. Why were they being so stubborn? Why didn't they understand? This was my dad we were talking about, not some stranger!
I tensed, letting out a startled shout when I felt arms wrap around me. I knew from the feel and the scent that it was my dad who held me, but I didn't want to be held and comforted by him. I tried to pull away but he just tightened his hold, whispering soothing and loving words to me until I eventually gave in and just cried into his shirt. I was furious with him, I really was, and I didn't want his comfort, but unfortunately I needed it. I held onto him for as little as possible, pulling away the second I regained some control over myself. Dad clearly hadn't wanted to let me go, but when I pushed against his chest with my hands he released his hold, looking at me with despondent, tired eyes.
I angrily wiped at my face, upset with myself for having broken down like this. "This isn't fair," I declared, staring between both my parents.
"You're right," Dad responded simply, "It's not, but that's just the way it is."
"It doesn't have to be," I retorted stubbornly, and Dad just gave a dismal shake of his head at me.
"You will have to content yourself with the fact that I will check on Charlie, alright? I promise that if I see he is not well I will do everything I can to make sure he gets better," he assured me, but that's not what I wanted to hear.
"I'm going," I declared.
"No," he stated gently yet firmly.
"Yes," I insisted, and Dad closed his eyes briefly before staring at me with a heavyhearted expression.
"Bella, my answer will not change. Please, baby, please, I'm begging you, don't test me on this," he said, giving me a pleading look. "I don't want to follow through with my threat, but I will if you force my hand. You know I don't make empty promises."
"Then take me with you," I replied, and Dad let out a harsh sigh as he turned his head away from me.
"It's too much of a risk," my mom stated, "You know this. I understand how you feel, but just imagine how you would feel if"—
"You understand nothing," I interjected rudely. "The both of you understand nothing about what I'm feeling."
Mom pursed her lips at me before then saying, "Why do you want to subject yourself to this torture, Bella? Your father has already agreed to check up on Charlie, so why must you go? You keep saying Charlie needs you, but sweetheart, you know he can't have you. You are dead to him," she tried to say as gently as possible, but there was no really nice way to put it.
"Don't say that," I told her, but she just shook her head with the same mournful look Dad was sporting.
"I'm so very sorry at the pain this is causing you, Bella, but you cannot see Charlie. You know why, and the more I hear you speak, the more assured I feel that we are making the right decision," Mom stated.
"How can you say that?" I asked, giving her a hurt look.
"The more we talk, the more I can tell that you want to not only see Charlie, but to talk to him and take care of him. You won't be able to control yourself, and neither Carlisle nor I are willing to subject you to such torture knowing you will not be able to interact with him," Mom responded.
I covered my ears, not wanting to hear her talk anymore as I closed my eyes and shook my head over and over. Why, why, why, why? Why didn't they understand?! I felt two hands grab hold of mine and opened my eyes to see my father's concerned face looking down at me. He gently yet firmly pulled my hands away from my ears and placed them down at my side.
"You need to take a few breaths and calm down, baby girl, you are working yourself up into a panic," he stated calmly looking me over now with a physician's eye.
"I'm fine," I snapped, "I just don't understand why you guys are being so unfair! You don't understand anything!"
"But we do understand," Dad insisted, which only served to anger me because it was obvious they didn't.
"If you understood then you'd take me with you!" I yelled, giving him a furious glare, just daring him to contradict me. His gaze seemed to harden at my expression.
"Isabella!" Mom scolded right before Dad said with practiced patience, "It is because I understand that I am refusing to take you along."
It was at this point that I lost it. How was it that such a simple statement could cause me to blow my top off? I didn't know. Whatever the reason, blood or venom or whatever it was that pumped through my veins was pounding in my ears. I was seeing red, and I was looking to hurt, so it was with this intent that I uttered my next words. "You understand NOTHING!" I roared. "And how could you? You and your father hated each other! You even admitted that you tried to kill him once, so how could you understand what I'm going through, Carlisle?! My father loves me, but I wouldn't expect you to know what that's like, so how dare you tell me that you understand!" I spat cruelly.
Silence greeted my words, and even before I saw the stunned, hurt look on my father's face I regretted saying them. Both hands were covering my mouth and I wished I could take back what I'd said, but it was too late. I'd struck waaayyyy below the belt, I knew that, and one glance at Dad's suddenly closed off, vacant expression and I wanted a hole to open in the floor to swallow me whole. Truthfully, I was beginning to tremble now as I waited for Dad to snap out of it. I was expecting him to snatch me up and tan my hide right here on the spot, which is why I was extremely surprised when it wasn't him, but Mom who grabbed a hold of me. This action seemed to startle not only me, but Dad as well for he shook his head slightly as he watched Mom drag me to their couch.
"Esme," Dad called out in a quiet, pained voice, and Mom stopped, turned and gave him a serious look as she simply said, "Carlisle," in a calm, caring voice. They stared at each other for a couple of seconds before Dad gave her a single nod and made to leave. Before he reached the doorway though, Mom called out his name, saying "It would be best if you stayed." I glanced between the two of them, not really able to decipher their expressions as Dad gave another nod. I had no time to ponder this anymore as Mom and I had reached the couch now.
"I'm sorry," I blurted out upon noticing her irate, disappointed expression.
"Not as sorry as you're going to be," Mom responded, sitting herself down on the couch and unbuttoning my jeans. I knew it wasn't possible, but I swore my heart was hammering away in my chest when Mom pulled me down and over her lap. My jeans and underwear were quickly yanked down to my knees before I felt the first of many painful stings land on my vulnerable rear.
Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat!
"How dare you, Isabella! How dare you say such cruel things to your father!" Mom lectured, making sure my entire backside felt her displeasure. "Did he not just ten minutes prior lecture you on respect? Well Bella?" she asked, landing a series of painful swats on my sit spots when I failed to answer.
"Oww!" I cried out. "Y-Yes Mama, he di-did!"
"Then what exactly was going through that mind of yours? What possessed you to say such awful things?" she questioned, and I let out a sob as the guilt became too much for me.
"I'm sorry, Mom, I didn't mean it!" I shouted. "I was angry, and I'm sorry!"
"I know you were angry, I know you're sorry, and I know you didn't mean it, but that still doesn't excuse what you said, or the damage your words have caused," my mom lectured, her swats increasing in strength.
"Ah! Ow! Ouch! P-please Mom, I'm sor—Owwiee!—sorry!" I cried, hating myself for what I had done. I wanted to look at my dad to see what he was thinking and if he was angry with me, but I was too ashamed and too much of a chicken to do so.
"Yes, you are sorry now that you are getting your bottom spanked," Mom spoke angrily. "I am extremely disappointed with you, young lady. All your father and I were trying to do was help you. I'm sorry, I really am that you can't see Charlie, but that gives you no excuse to lash out at us like you have today."
"Ohhh, I-I kn-know!" I screamed, beginning to fidget as the burn increased. "Please Mama, please," I begged her, "I'm so—Owwww!—Please, I'm sorry!"
"You are apologizing to the wrong person," was all my mother said before landing one very hard swat on the center of my backside. I then shouted when she pulled up my jeans and underwear before setting me on my feet and leading me to her bathroom. I cried even harder, wiping at my face as I realized what was going to happen. She was going to wash my mouth out with soap.
"Mom, please, I'm sorry," I told her, giving her a pleading look, but she just said, "Hush Isabella, I have heard more than enough from you today." She then picked me up and set me down on the counter as though I were a small child. I cried out as my sore backside hit the hard countertop but made no move to get off. I watched with absolutely miserable eyes as my mother pulled out a small bar of soap, put it under the water before turning towards me.
"Open your mouth wide," she ordered in a no-nonsense tone, and I hesitated briefly before doing as told. She took the small green offending object and began to rub it all over the inside of my mouth, putting special concentration on my tongue. I made noises of disgust as the venom pooled in my mouth, mixing with the soapy suds. This was horrible. This was worse than horrible. I certainly didn't remember a mouth soaping being this bad when I was human. I was fighting the urge to gag when my mother then ordered me to bite down on the wretched soap. I gave her a wide-eyed, pleading look, but she just held up a finger and said, "One." I didn't wait for her to get to two before I bit down.
"Five minutes young lady," Mother stated, crossing her arms and giving me a very stern look. Her next words were spoken quietly, very quietly, and I knew it was because she didn't want my dad to hear.
"Your father did not deserve that, Isabella, not at all. I cannot believe that you would stoop so low as to use his past against him," she lectured furiously, and I could see not only anger in her eyes, but extreme hurt on behalf of Carlisle. "It is appalling, disgusting behavior and I never would have expected it of you. This had better be the last time a slip of this kind happens, Isabella Marie Cullen, or so help me I will be the one to take your father's belt to your disrespectful backside!"
I rapidly nodded my head up and down to show understanding while guilty, despairing tears cascaded down my cheeks. For her to make such a threat she had to be beyond furious with me. Mom hated spanking us. She would, of course, when she had to, but never, ever has she even hinted to the fact that she'd ever whip any of us. In fact, according to Rose, Mom had told her that she could never bring herself to use such an implement on us.
I was sobbing once more and beginning to choke on the suds. I was afraid I was going to swallow the soap, but Mom, noticing my plight quickly put my head down over the sink while telling me to spit out the soap. I did as I was told and was retching and sobbing and coughing out my grief. Mom sighed and rubbed my back in comfort, telling me to just spit as much as I could out. I wished I could use the water to rinse my mouth, but I knew it wouldn't help as water tasted foul to us also. When I was no longer gagging on the soap suds my mother told me to stop spitting and stand up. I did so gladly, giving her a wary look as I knew I hadn't had that soap in my mouth for five minutes.
Mom looked me over with disappointment before letting out another sigh. Apparently she decided not to continue with the mouth soaping for she placed her hand on the back of my neck and led me back into the main bedroom. I braved a look towards my dad and saw him still sitting in his chair, bent forward and leaning with his elbows on his knees as he stared back at me. I quickly looked away, noting with an internal groan that Mom was leading me to a corner.
Placing my nose until it was touching the wall she then placed both my hands on top of my head as she said, "You will stand here and reflect on what you said to your father. You are not to move or speak until Carlisle or I tell you otherwise, is that understand?"
I sniffed noisily, trying to choke back my sobs as I nodded my head. She gave me one last sharp swat before walking away.
A/N: Howdy all, interesting start to a story, huh? A spanking in the FIRST chapter! So what does that tell you about this story? It's not called the Week of Tears for nuthin, that's for sure! Hoped you like this start, please let me know your thoughts by REVIEWING!