Disclaimer: Gone with the wind and its characters do not belong to me, I am only borrowing them. This disclaimer is valid for the entirety of this story.

My dear readers,

I appologise for the very long wait. For reasons I will not get into here, I have been unable to write for a long time. I am, however, finally back on track and working on the editing of the chapters I have written. After the long time away I'm not fully remembering where I was going with what I have posted here but I do have the notes on how I wanted the story to go and where I wanted it to go so I am re-writing the chapters to make them fit where I have planned on this story to go. Starting today I am beginning to repost what I have.

Since I am reposting, some things will have change which unfortunately will mean you will need to re-read the chapters. First chapter is the only chapter I have kept mostly as it was, then after that I have begun making some changes while still keeping true to the general idea I had in what was posted before. I truly hope you will enjoy the story again.

Once again, my profound appologies for the very long wait to hear anything from me... and now that you finally do it's not with new new chapters just re-written chapters. But the new chapters are in the works, just need to go through my beta and some editing before I can post them.

All my love and affection,

Cait

Ch 1

"I will get him back", Scarlett spoke the words with a level of confidence she in all honesty did not feel in her heart. Her back was straight as she stood in the doorway, looking up the stairs toward the darkness which had engulfed Rhett as he retired to his room. Her resolve crumbled when she heard the distant thump that meant he had closed his door and left her behind, both literally and figuratively. The sound held such finality to it that it broke her certainty into small crumbs, as despair entered her heart.

"I will not think of it now. I will think of it tomorrow. Tomorrow at Tara – in the safe and comforting arms of Mammy", Scarlett repeated the words like a mantra to herself as she walked with her head held high to the stairs. She had not even gotten halfway up the stairs when the first sob broke through. Her heart ached in a way she had never felt before, though Bonnie's death had come close. It made it difficult to breathe and she gasped for air as she crumbled into a sobbing pile on the stairs.

She had lost him. Rhett, who had always been there. Even when she had done everything in her power, all she could think of, to make him leave, he had stuck by her. He had never left her alone. Now, when she wanted him more than anything, he was leaving. The finality of his words had made that perfectly clear to her. He no longer cared for her or what happened to her. How was that possible? How was she supposed to live with that – to live without him? He had been a constant figure in her life since she was 16 – how was she to go on without his support, and his taunting to spur her on?

She had lost so much already. First her childhood, then her mother, and then ,one by one, the people she had depended on to feel safe in this ever changing world had left her. This evening she had lost not one but two of those people. The two that had truly been her constant supporters in life. First Melanie had passed on and now Rhett, though, as she remembered his empty and tired eyes, she realized she had lost him a long time ago. She had only been made aware of the fact this evening as he announced he was physically leaving her as well.

Slowly she came aware of the coldness around her and the numbness in her limbs. She had no idea how long she had been lying there on the stairs but if felt like a long time. The chill of the evening surrounded her as she dragged herself up and went to her room. A tired numbness spreading through her, the darkness and quiet of the house emulating her mood perfectly. A sigh escaped her as she lowered her tired and weary body to the softness of her bed, not even bothering to change out of her clothes.

Her tears had finally dried up, only to leave echoing emptiness and loneliness behind. Why was it she always ended up alone? Even amid company she always felt alone. The only one who had eased that loneliness was Rhett. Even when he said mean and hurtful things to her she felt he saw her and she wasn't alone. He was always there. Oh, why could she not have realized it sooner – while there had still been time? While he had still loved her? The ache in her heart increased to the point where she once again struggled to breathe.

The answer was there in his words to her. So many times, he had called her selfish or childish. She had never been one to consider the feelings of others. She had cared for Melanie, believed she loved Ashley, and yet in her pursuit of him, she had never once considered the feelings of thos affected had she ever been truly successful in her pursuit. She had only selfishly considered what she wanted – her childish desire to have her toy for herself and not have to share it.

Scarlett had never been prone to introspection, but as she lay there in the darkness with an aching heart, her first journey to self-discovery and awareness began, and if she was utterly honest with herself she did not much care for what she found. She was spoiled and selfish. She had always focused solely on her own wants, only on very rare occasions taking the time to care for others. As long as she was happy, what did it matter to her if others were? But it should have mattered, as she realized all too well at this moment.

She turned onto her back and looked up at the dark ceiling, the darkness filling her heart with coldness. In her spoiled, childish way, she had expected Rhett to always be there for her. That she would get everything she wanted, never realizing her actions could actually hurt him to the point where she drove him away. It had seemed an impossibility. Rhett was always so strong and hard. His armor had seemed impenetrable. Nothing she did or said had seemed to faze him even a little bit.

He had constantly teased and taunted her, never fazed or affected by her retorts. She wondered when that had changed. When had he begun taking her retorts to heart? When had her words begun reaching their mark? When had their odd friendship turned as hateful as it had been these last months, and years? When was it he had begun leaving her?

As she lay there, she realized she could pinpoint the exact time things had changed – the exact moment in their relationship when he had changed from taunting to deliberately cruel in his comments and the exact moment when he had stopped attempting to make her happy, instead hurting her whenever he had the opportunity. It was the day she had informed him she wanted no more children.

She thought back to that day and cringed on the inside at what a fool she had been. She had hurt Rhett and herself out of some foolish and misplaced sense of loyalty to Ashley. Why, oh why, had she been such a fool as to listen to Ashley? Why had she never bothered to talk to Rhett about it and truly discussed it with him? She'd made a complete fool of herself, and thrown that foolishness in Rhett's face. It was no wonder he had come to resent her.

She turned and buried her face in her pillow as a fresh wave of tears hit her. She had hurt him so much and for what? Keeping faithful to a man who had very clearly not held up to his own end of the deal? If he had, sweet Melly would still be alive. She had been a selfish fool and now it was too late. She always realized things when it was too late to do anything about them.

The thought of Melanie made the tears and the pain in her heart even worse. Melanie had been a saint and had loved her despite everything. Despite the numerous signs she had been given she should not – that Scarlett was not worthy of her love. How had she repaid her? By trying to steal her husband. By speaking ill of her and giving her nothing but a fake friendship. Melanie had been a constant companion in her life – a constant supporter, and never failing in her belief in her – and all Scarlett had done was resent her for it. She had even shown contempt for her silly shyness and treated her like a burden. Never had she admitted to herself or to Melanie how much she truly loved and depended on her. Not until it was too late. She had lost her, and with her, she'd lost the support she had relied upon for so long.

The emptiness Melanie left behind her was one that would echo within her until the end of her days. Her only true friend and the only support she still had among the fine families of Atlanta had vanished with her. Scarlett would truly be alone now. With Melanie gone, Rhett gone, and her precious baby Bonnie gone, what was left for her now?

She still had Wade and Ella, though they cared more for Rhett than they ever had for her. Rhett, who had been a father to them and now was leaving them. With him leaving and Melanie dead, those children were losing their most constant sources of warmth and love. She had surely not always been either loving or supportive. She had made sure they were fed and clothed, but there her support had ended. She had never had the patience for them or the loving affection that Melanie or even Rhett bestowed upon them. As he had so many times said, a cat was a better mother than she.

Numb from head to toe, she lay on her side and watched the light slowly appear outside the window. Dawn was approaching and with it the moment Rhett would truly leave, and the day she would have to face the heart wrenching duty of planning her best friends' funeral. As soon as the funeral was over, she would return to Tara. Not tomorrow – after the funeral. Melanie deserved a beautiful funeral, and she knew India and Miss Pitty would only make a mess of things and Ashley could never be counted on to plan such a thing. No, she would stay. She would plan the funeral and attend to say her goodbye and give her respect to the one woman aside from her mother and Mammy that she had ever truly loved. Then she would return to Tara. In the loving arms of Mammy she could mourn all that she had lost and she would find a reason to go on with her life, as she always did. As it had before, being at Tara would rebuild her strength and perhaps she might even find a way to get Rhett to love her again.

She pulled herself up and began gathering the steely resolve around her. The same resolve that had gotten her back to Tara during the war and that had found a way for her family to survive in the face of famine and poverty. Some part of her, however small, knew that it was impossible for her to fight for Rhett now. She had to choose her battles and as Rhett was still alive, she would let him leave and return to that battle another day. She would use the last ounces of strength that she still held and plan a beautiful and suitable funeral for Melanie. As much as it pained her to have to watch him walk away from her, a small amount of slowly forming insight into him told her that letting him go now was her best chance for proving her love and eventually it might be the only way that she would have a chance to win him back. He would only resent her more if she fought for him right away. Instead of chasing him and fighting for him now, she would focus on healing. Perhaps she would even attempt building some semblance of a loving relationship with the two children she still had left. After all, she was all they had left now and they deserved to have a loving parents just as she had in her father as she grew up. But that was a matter for another day. She would have Prissy take them to Tara and then deal with that problem when she joined them there.

With some of her resolve firmly back in place, Scarlett splashed off her tear stained face and rang for help to get changed into a proper black dress, one of her plainest dresses in respect of Melanie. She was pale, and a part of the fire that had always fueled her and been a part of the beauty that made men so attracted to her had faded now, leaving room for a quiet calm. She looked more like a lady than ever before in her life.

Dawn had only just allowed the first rays of the sun to touch the windows of the Peachtree Street house as she knocked on Rhett's door in hopes of catching him before he left. He looked disheveled and very tired as he opened the door and she carefully schooled her face to hide the concern she felt, not wanting to make him more annoyed than he already was.

"What is it Scarlett?" he grumbled, as he ran his fingers through his tousled hair. Her eyes followed those strong fingers, wishing with all of her to feel those strong arms surround her and support her, but she knew it was a futile wish.

"I wanted to speak with you and I also wondered if you would like me to order you some breakfast before you leave." She looked down, not having the strength in her to see the emptiness and lack of emotions in his eyes again, nor the annoyance she expected at her request.

GWTWGWTWGWTW

Rhett gave her a surprised and slightly suspicious look. He had, of course, expected her to appear at some point this morning. She had never been one to just let things go, especially something she wanted with all her heart. Like a dog with a bone, she would fight him and expect him to stay. As the child she still was at heart, she would expect her love to be enough. If it truly was love, which to be honest, he highly doubted. Scarlett just hated to lose.

"I will not be tricked into staying, Scarlett." He all but snarled the words, while his eyes moved over her appearance. Despite the numbness and tiredness in him, the mere idea of her fighting him on this brought out his self-preservation instincts. As his eyes moved over her face he took note of the deep circles under her eyes, betraying her lack of sleep during the night. The white and almost translucent skin that gave her an almost ethereal beauty, but he also noticed the ladylike appearance in both dress and stature that, for the first time since he had met her, was not an act.

"That was not what I was trying to do. I was only offering a meal and had hoped to be allowed to say a proper goodbye before you left. If my presence worries you, then you need not fear. I am on my way to the Wilkes' to assist with the funeral arrangements." She prattled on almost nervously, her voice hitching emotionally at the mention of funeral and he watched as she took a deep breath to keep the tears at bay. For a brief moment, he felt sorry for her. She was still so young, and yet she had lost so much. But the moment passed and he quickly brushed the feelings aside. He would not be caught in her web again. He was too old and too tired to continue this dance with her.

"I would like some breakfast, thank you Scarlett." he replied, making a slight effort to be polite as she was for some reason doing the same.

"I will inform the cook." She smiled faintly at him and he watched her and waited patiently for the proverbial other shoe to drop.

"I also wanted to wish you safe travels, Rhett. Would it be unfair of me to ask that you keep me informed of your whereabouts – just in case I need to be able to reach you?" She spoke quietly, but he couldn't help a sigh. Of course. She might be letting him go for now, but she was obviously planning on following him.

"I will keep you informed as long as you don't get it into your pretty little head to try and follow me, my pet." he replied, hoping she would take heed of the warning for once.

"Of course not, Rhett." she said innocently – too innocently for his taste. Quickly she took her leave and he watched her retreating form. He was surprised by the cordial send off, but had no illusions she would truly leave it at that. He knew she would eventually come chasing after him, and the mere thought had him sighing wearily. When she disappeared from sight, he turned back into his room to finish packing and then have his breakfast.

A mere few hours later Rhett left Atlanta and his wife behind him.