Never Noticed
By Akayume
Note - I don't own anything except this story.
I know this story sucks, but at least give it a review, please?
Seiya. Taiki. Kakyuu. The hopeful ones. The ones who let Sailor Moon work her magic on their minds and now they think that there's still hope. I see them everyday, looking up at the sky, whispering to themselves, 'One day, we'll go home. Everything will be back to normal and we'll be away from here.'
They never noticed me. They never bothered to listen to what I had to say. Never bothered to come looking for me when I wasn't in the same room. One time I was abducted from the same room that they were in and almost raped, but they didn't care.
That's why I packed my stuff and left them. They probably didn't notice that I left.
It's been eight years. Life hasn't been so happy.
I live in a rundown apartment, complete with rats and roaches.
Brown water
Rusting faucet
Doors without any knobs
A refrigerator that doesn't even work
Bathrooms with green mold everywhere you look
Chairs and sofas with the couch springs in view
Paper thin walls
Windows that don't even close...
Yeah, I live the good life.
And every now and then, I think about Seiya, Taiki, and Kakyuu before Sailor Moon came along and decided to make a difference...and not a good one at that.
Sometimes, my sanity goes and I get the feeling that one of them is watching me from a dark corner.
I was wrong on that, but it was like a psychic having a vision or knowing what will happen in the future.
I was sitting at the end of one of my red couches (couch springs were on every part except for this end), drinking soda, watching whatever was on, when I saw Seiya looking at me through the "window."
"Wholey..."
I fell back with shock and surprise, scratching my right arm with one of the couch springs.
I heard Seiya gasp and jump in.
"What the fu-"
"Don't say it, just tell me where you keep bandages."
"F---er, I don't have any!"
She looked at me like I was some circus reject.
"You're kidding, right?"
"Does it look like I'm kidding?"
In the end, I ended up leaving my scratched arm alone because when Seiya turned on the faucet and saw the brown water, she jumped up and screamed, "F---ing sh--, do you drink this?!"
So, we just sat down on the floor, talking about what's been going on, even though I didn't give a sh-- about what they've been doing.
I hadn't really listened until she asked, "So, do you miss any of us?"
I was surprised to be asked that question.
I don't know, did I miss them?
She waited for my answer like a rock sitting in the ground until someone kicks it away. And my silence was the kick.
"Well? Do you?"
Still, I hadn't answered.
"I don't know. I just don't know."
She stood up and started screaming meaningless things, saying that we've been talking and I didn't even think about how I missed our talks and how much of an a--hole I was and that she should have never come to look out for me.
And while she screamed, I realized my answer to her question.
"SHUT THE F--- UP, SEIYA!"
She suddenly hushed when my loud voice echoed around the room.
"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW YOU NEVER PAID ANY ATTENTION TO ME EIGHT YEARS BEFORE? AND NOW YOU COME BACK AND START SCREAMING AT HOW I'M AN A--HOLE?!"
"Yaten, I...I..."
"You what? What?!"
"Look, I'm sorry...it's just..."
"IT'S JUST WHAT? IT'S JUST THAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW I LEFT AND MOVED TO THIS OLD APARTMENT? IT'S JUST THAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW I EXISTED? IT'S JUST THAT YOU THOUGHT I WOULD BE OKAY IF I WAS TAKEN FROM THE HOUSE AND NEARLY RAPED?!"
That's when she finally cracked.
"I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS OKAY, I CALLED THE POLICE, WE WERE ALL WORRIED!"
"Yeah, that's why I was running for six hours until I got back to the apartment to find you all in a deep sleep. That's why when I closed the door, Taiki asked if I went anywhere. That's why when I fell to my bed, you yelled 'You've had enough sleep, it's time to get up!'"
She just stood there with her eyes staring blankly at me.
"Are you going to say something, or just stand there like some ice sculpture?"
She fell to her knees and her tears soon started to dot the wooden floor.
"You don't know the pain I've been through these past eight years. You just don't."
What pain? She's obviously talking about empty stomach pains from when I wasn't ordering pizza for them.
"Yaten, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not paying any attention to you. I'm sorry that I never listened to you. But take my word for it, we were scared that something happened to you when you just left and never came back."
What?
"So then, how did you find me?"
She got up, wiping away the stray tears, and said, "Someone came up to me and asked, 'Hey, where's the silver-headed one? Oh yeah, she's in that rundown apartment down the street. Ha!' I saw it and looked in every window until I saw you sitting on the end of that couch."
She walked towards me. I didn't know what was going to happen, so I backed up.
"You're so beautiful. You haven't changed one bit. You look a little tired, but still beautiful."
She just kept walking towards me until I back up into the wall.
"I love you, Yaten."
She started caressing my cheek.
"Like I said, you don't know the pain I've been through..."
With that, she pressed her lips on mine. She had me crushed between her and the wall that I was holding on to.
She started to move down my neck. What was she doing?
"Seiya, stop."
She stopped and looked at me.
"I guess I was right then. I should've never come. I'm sorry."
She turned to leave. I couldn't let her walk out like she did to me.
"Seiya, wait. I love you too, I really do. But I'm still a little broken about my life eight years before. How do I trust someone who never knew that I lived in the same house?"
Tears will starting well up in her eyes again.
"Is that how you really feel? Every morning, I used to look forward to sitting across the table from you. Every night, I looked forward to see you already in bed, sleeping like there was nothing else in the world to think about. Every day, I wanted to hear your voice, no matter what the situation was. In fact, I just wanted to see you."
And she left.
I just stood there, looking down, ashamed.
I cried for what seemed like forever, thinking about what Seiya had said.
How could she? How could I? Was it because of Sailor Moon?
No. She didn't do anything. I just wanted to believe it happened. It was all me.
I drove them away when it all began. And now it's too late to repair the damage that I have done.
And what I said to her. Did I just say...that I loved her too? Was it my thoughts turning on me? Or was I caught up in the moment?
This is too much. Seiya walked out of my apartment just like I walked out of theirs. And neither of us did a thing to prevent it. And if that's how she's going to play it, I play like that too.
Where do I keep my knives?
Oh, right. I don't have any.
D--- apartment.
It's raining like sh-- out there and my "living room" is getting flooded. So is my "bedroom," so I guess I'm sleeping on the kitchen floor for the rest of the night. Again.
I put the knives that I just bought away in the empty and dusty cupboard and got my dry blanket out and lay on it.
Questions were still coming into my head. I'm I really going to go through with this new pain inside me? What should I do? Should I try to kill my pain? Or will it just make it worse?
Kill my pain. Is that possible? I heard a song like that, I forgot what it was called, but after that line, she says 'but only brought more, so much more.' That was my favorite song until I left their apartment. It seemed to relate to how I was feeling the night before I left.
I turned on my side, facing the cupboard with the knives.
I can't kill my pain...
But I can kill myself...
But what would that do to Seiya? Unless she was desperate enough to say that she loved me. She prbably was, because she says 'I love you' to people that she doesn't even know. And I don't think she knows me enough to mean it.
I got up and opened the cupboard.
I took one out.
And there it was.
Staring at me with my own reflection, I touched it with fear that I may drop it and it may go through my foot and leg or...
It was ice cold, like a person who had just died in the freezing rain. I pushed my finger onto it for a while. It was still cold, no matter how much pressure I put onto it.
Just as I was about to slide my finger on the side, I heard a scream and a "Yaten, no!"
Seiya!
"Yaten, what the f--- are you doing?!"
She jumped through the window and rushed toward me.
And, as desperate as I was, pointed the tip toward my stomach.
"If you take a step closer, it will either be me or you!"
She stopped, frantically saying, "Don't do anything with it...please don't."
Was I really going to stab myself? Or was I putting on an act?
I pictured myself, as a queen who everybody loved and listened to, with two hundred swords by my side. Everyone was asking, "What will you do with them?" And I say, "I'm going to pick one of you to choose the most beautiful sword. You shall give it to me and..."
Everyone shall stare in wonder at all the beautiful swords. I pick a pregnant woman. She picks a sword with a golden base with emeralds that are as green as my eyes. But before she hands it to me, she says, "I cannot choose, for I am a commoner, I am not worthy."
So, I pick an obese man. He chooses a gold sword with a gold base with rubies as red as blood. Before he gives it to me, he says, "I am sorry, but I have failed to give you a lovely sword."
So, I pick a boy who is only the age of ten. He hesitates, but I insist that he does the task.
He looks at all of them for a long time before coming back with a rusting sword with a base that is wrapped in white cloth.
Everyone laughs at him and the sword until I congratulate him on choosing the most beautiful sword. He gives it to me and I run to the edge of a cliff. I turn around to say goodbye to everyone and thank you to the boy and fall backwards, never to be seen again.
I wish that the situation that I was in now was like what I imagined myself in.
It had stopped raining and the air smelled wet. My living room and bedroom was flooded. Not like I had anything valuable in there, anyway.
"Yaten, will you listen to me?"
What?
"Why should I? You never listened to me!"
I could see that she was about to burst, but instead, she blinked away the tears that was about to fall.
"How could you do this to yourself?! Have you gone insane?"
"Seiya, listen to what I'm about to say. No interrupting, no tears, no sobs, no nothing!"
She stopped and stood very still.
"I should've ended myself a long time ago. I should've told you how I was feeling, maybe. I should've realized that nothing will ever change."
"But things will change if you give it a chance..."
"Seiya, nothing ever changed for me. Don't you get it? I wished that I was never born! I wish that there was another Sailor Star Healer! I wish that none of this ever happened! I wish that you loved someone else-"
"Yaten! Shut up! I can't love anyone else! I care too much for you to love someone else!"
"You have Kakyuu. You have Taiki. He--, you have Usagi and Minako too. You have everyone. But who do I have? No one! So how can you say that you can't love anyone else?"
"You have me."
"I'm not your b---- like everyone else is."
She took a step forward. And I even said that one step closer and it will either be me or her.
I lifted the knife and and walked toward Seiya. She took steps back until she slipped on all the water on the floor. That was my chance.
I ran to my room and shut the knobless door and blocked it with my bookcases and mattress, leaving water everywhere. I could hear Seiya slipping and skidding the floor, trying to get up.
Why did I not do it yet? Am I waiting for her to try to stop me?
Before I could stab myself, Seiya was pounding on the door, screaming, "Stop! Yaten, don't do it!"
No, I can't do it...
Yes I can...
No I can't...
Too late now. Seiya broke through everything. And the knife was still pointed at my stomach.
I guess she didn't see it, because she jumped on me and the knife went through me.
I coughed up a little bit of my blood as Seiya gasped, "No...this was what I was trying to prevent..."
"Seiya..."
"I'm sorry, I...I...didn't know...I"
"It's...o...kay."
My vision was slowly going. It went until everything was black. But I knew what was going on.
Seiya's tears were falling on my face.
Soon, my strength was going too. My voice...
Is death like this? Or is this all in my head?
"Yaten, I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for not listening to you, sorry for not paying attention to you, sorry for not-"
"You already...apologized."
She started sobbing.
"Just let this be a cruel, sick joke."
"It's...not..."
"No, it just can't!"
I knew I was going, so I had to say it again.
"I...love you...I have to...go now..."
"No, I love you too, don't go, don't..."
And with that, Yaten slipped away in Seiya's arms as Seiya tried so hard not to let herself get carried away. But she did.
And both of their bodies were wet with rain and blood, with Seiya holding Yaten's hand.
By Akayume
Note - I don't own anything except this story.
I know this story sucks, but at least give it a review, please?
Seiya. Taiki. Kakyuu. The hopeful ones. The ones who let Sailor Moon work her magic on their minds and now they think that there's still hope. I see them everyday, looking up at the sky, whispering to themselves, 'One day, we'll go home. Everything will be back to normal and we'll be away from here.'
They never noticed me. They never bothered to listen to what I had to say. Never bothered to come looking for me when I wasn't in the same room. One time I was abducted from the same room that they were in and almost raped, but they didn't care.
That's why I packed my stuff and left them. They probably didn't notice that I left.
It's been eight years. Life hasn't been so happy.
I live in a rundown apartment, complete with rats and roaches.
Brown water
Rusting faucet
Doors without any knobs
A refrigerator that doesn't even work
Bathrooms with green mold everywhere you look
Chairs and sofas with the couch springs in view
Paper thin walls
Windows that don't even close...
Yeah, I live the good life.
And every now and then, I think about Seiya, Taiki, and Kakyuu before Sailor Moon came along and decided to make a difference...and not a good one at that.
Sometimes, my sanity goes and I get the feeling that one of them is watching me from a dark corner.
I was wrong on that, but it was like a psychic having a vision or knowing what will happen in the future.
I was sitting at the end of one of my red couches (couch springs were on every part except for this end), drinking soda, watching whatever was on, when I saw Seiya looking at me through the "window."
"Wholey..."
I fell back with shock and surprise, scratching my right arm with one of the couch springs.
I heard Seiya gasp and jump in.
"What the fu-"
"Don't say it, just tell me where you keep bandages."
"F---er, I don't have any!"
She looked at me like I was some circus reject.
"You're kidding, right?"
"Does it look like I'm kidding?"
In the end, I ended up leaving my scratched arm alone because when Seiya turned on the faucet and saw the brown water, she jumped up and screamed, "F---ing sh--, do you drink this?!"
So, we just sat down on the floor, talking about what's been going on, even though I didn't give a sh-- about what they've been doing.
I hadn't really listened until she asked, "So, do you miss any of us?"
I was surprised to be asked that question.
I don't know, did I miss them?
She waited for my answer like a rock sitting in the ground until someone kicks it away. And my silence was the kick.
"Well? Do you?"
Still, I hadn't answered.
"I don't know. I just don't know."
She stood up and started screaming meaningless things, saying that we've been talking and I didn't even think about how I missed our talks and how much of an a--hole I was and that she should have never come to look out for me.
And while she screamed, I realized my answer to her question.
"SHUT THE F--- UP, SEIYA!"
She suddenly hushed when my loud voice echoed around the room.
"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW YOU NEVER PAID ANY ATTENTION TO ME EIGHT YEARS BEFORE? AND NOW YOU COME BACK AND START SCREAMING AT HOW I'M AN A--HOLE?!"
"Yaten, I...I..."
"You what? What?!"
"Look, I'm sorry...it's just..."
"IT'S JUST WHAT? IT'S JUST THAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW I LEFT AND MOVED TO THIS OLD APARTMENT? IT'S JUST THAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW I EXISTED? IT'S JUST THAT YOU THOUGHT I WOULD BE OKAY IF I WAS TAKEN FROM THE HOUSE AND NEARLY RAPED?!"
That's when she finally cracked.
"I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS OKAY, I CALLED THE POLICE, WE WERE ALL WORRIED!"
"Yeah, that's why I was running for six hours until I got back to the apartment to find you all in a deep sleep. That's why when I closed the door, Taiki asked if I went anywhere. That's why when I fell to my bed, you yelled 'You've had enough sleep, it's time to get up!'"
She just stood there with her eyes staring blankly at me.
"Are you going to say something, or just stand there like some ice sculpture?"
She fell to her knees and her tears soon started to dot the wooden floor.
"You don't know the pain I've been through these past eight years. You just don't."
What pain? She's obviously talking about empty stomach pains from when I wasn't ordering pizza for them.
"Yaten, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not paying any attention to you. I'm sorry that I never listened to you. But take my word for it, we were scared that something happened to you when you just left and never came back."
What?
"So then, how did you find me?"
She got up, wiping away the stray tears, and said, "Someone came up to me and asked, 'Hey, where's the silver-headed one? Oh yeah, she's in that rundown apartment down the street. Ha!' I saw it and looked in every window until I saw you sitting on the end of that couch."
She walked towards me. I didn't know what was going to happen, so I backed up.
"You're so beautiful. You haven't changed one bit. You look a little tired, but still beautiful."
She just kept walking towards me until I back up into the wall.
"I love you, Yaten."
She started caressing my cheek.
"Like I said, you don't know the pain I've been through..."
With that, she pressed her lips on mine. She had me crushed between her and the wall that I was holding on to.
She started to move down my neck. What was she doing?
"Seiya, stop."
She stopped and looked at me.
"I guess I was right then. I should've never come. I'm sorry."
She turned to leave. I couldn't let her walk out like she did to me.
"Seiya, wait. I love you too, I really do. But I'm still a little broken about my life eight years before. How do I trust someone who never knew that I lived in the same house?"
Tears will starting well up in her eyes again.
"Is that how you really feel? Every morning, I used to look forward to sitting across the table from you. Every night, I looked forward to see you already in bed, sleeping like there was nothing else in the world to think about. Every day, I wanted to hear your voice, no matter what the situation was. In fact, I just wanted to see you."
And she left.
I just stood there, looking down, ashamed.
I cried for what seemed like forever, thinking about what Seiya had said.
How could she? How could I? Was it because of Sailor Moon?
No. She didn't do anything. I just wanted to believe it happened. It was all me.
I drove them away when it all began. And now it's too late to repair the damage that I have done.
And what I said to her. Did I just say...that I loved her too? Was it my thoughts turning on me? Or was I caught up in the moment?
This is too much. Seiya walked out of my apartment just like I walked out of theirs. And neither of us did a thing to prevent it. And if that's how she's going to play it, I play like that too.
Where do I keep my knives?
Oh, right. I don't have any.
D--- apartment.
It's raining like sh-- out there and my "living room" is getting flooded. So is my "bedroom," so I guess I'm sleeping on the kitchen floor for the rest of the night. Again.
I put the knives that I just bought away in the empty and dusty cupboard and got my dry blanket out and lay on it.
Questions were still coming into my head. I'm I really going to go through with this new pain inside me? What should I do? Should I try to kill my pain? Or will it just make it worse?
Kill my pain. Is that possible? I heard a song like that, I forgot what it was called, but after that line, she says 'but only brought more, so much more.' That was my favorite song until I left their apartment. It seemed to relate to how I was feeling the night before I left.
I turned on my side, facing the cupboard with the knives.
I can't kill my pain...
But I can kill myself...
But what would that do to Seiya? Unless she was desperate enough to say that she loved me. She prbably was, because she says 'I love you' to people that she doesn't even know. And I don't think she knows me enough to mean it.
I got up and opened the cupboard.
I took one out.
And there it was.
Staring at me with my own reflection, I touched it with fear that I may drop it and it may go through my foot and leg or...
It was ice cold, like a person who had just died in the freezing rain. I pushed my finger onto it for a while. It was still cold, no matter how much pressure I put onto it.
Just as I was about to slide my finger on the side, I heard a scream and a "Yaten, no!"
Seiya!
"Yaten, what the f--- are you doing?!"
She jumped through the window and rushed toward me.
And, as desperate as I was, pointed the tip toward my stomach.
"If you take a step closer, it will either be me or you!"
She stopped, frantically saying, "Don't do anything with it...please don't."
Was I really going to stab myself? Or was I putting on an act?
I pictured myself, as a queen who everybody loved and listened to, with two hundred swords by my side. Everyone was asking, "What will you do with them?" And I say, "I'm going to pick one of you to choose the most beautiful sword. You shall give it to me and..."
Everyone shall stare in wonder at all the beautiful swords. I pick a pregnant woman. She picks a sword with a golden base with emeralds that are as green as my eyes. But before she hands it to me, she says, "I cannot choose, for I am a commoner, I am not worthy."
So, I pick an obese man. He chooses a gold sword with a gold base with rubies as red as blood. Before he gives it to me, he says, "I am sorry, but I have failed to give you a lovely sword."
So, I pick a boy who is only the age of ten. He hesitates, but I insist that he does the task.
He looks at all of them for a long time before coming back with a rusting sword with a base that is wrapped in white cloth.
Everyone laughs at him and the sword until I congratulate him on choosing the most beautiful sword. He gives it to me and I run to the edge of a cliff. I turn around to say goodbye to everyone and thank you to the boy and fall backwards, never to be seen again.
I wish that the situation that I was in now was like what I imagined myself in.
It had stopped raining and the air smelled wet. My living room and bedroom was flooded. Not like I had anything valuable in there, anyway.
"Yaten, will you listen to me?"
What?
"Why should I? You never listened to me!"
I could see that she was about to burst, but instead, she blinked away the tears that was about to fall.
"How could you do this to yourself?! Have you gone insane?"
"Seiya, listen to what I'm about to say. No interrupting, no tears, no sobs, no nothing!"
She stopped and stood very still.
"I should've ended myself a long time ago. I should've told you how I was feeling, maybe. I should've realized that nothing will ever change."
"But things will change if you give it a chance..."
"Seiya, nothing ever changed for me. Don't you get it? I wished that I was never born! I wish that there was another Sailor Star Healer! I wish that none of this ever happened! I wish that you loved someone else-"
"Yaten! Shut up! I can't love anyone else! I care too much for you to love someone else!"
"You have Kakyuu. You have Taiki. He--, you have Usagi and Minako too. You have everyone. But who do I have? No one! So how can you say that you can't love anyone else?"
"You have me."
"I'm not your b---- like everyone else is."
She took a step forward. And I even said that one step closer and it will either be me or her.
I lifted the knife and and walked toward Seiya. She took steps back until she slipped on all the water on the floor. That was my chance.
I ran to my room and shut the knobless door and blocked it with my bookcases and mattress, leaving water everywhere. I could hear Seiya slipping and skidding the floor, trying to get up.
Why did I not do it yet? Am I waiting for her to try to stop me?
Before I could stab myself, Seiya was pounding on the door, screaming, "Stop! Yaten, don't do it!"
No, I can't do it...
Yes I can...
No I can't...
Too late now. Seiya broke through everything. And the knife was still pointed at my stomach.
I guess she didn't see it, because she jumped on me and the knife went through me.
I coughed up a little bit of my blood as Seiya gasped, "No...this was what I was trying to prevent..."
"Seiya..."
"I'm sorry, I...I...didn't know...I"
"It's...o...kay."
My vision was slowly going. It went until everything was black. But I knew what was going on.
Seiya's tears were falling on my face.
Soon, my strength was going too. My voice...
Is death like this? Or is this all in my head?
"Yaten, I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for not listening to you, sorry for not paying attention to you, sorry for not-"
"You already...apologized."
She started sobbing.
"Just let this be a cruel, sick joke."
"It's...not..."
"No, it just can't!"
I knew I was going, so I had to say it again.
"I...love you...I have to...go now..."
"No, I love you too, don't go, don't..."
And with that, Yaten slipped away in Seiya's arms as Seiya tried so hard not to let herself get carried away. But she did.
And both of their bodies were wet with rain and blood, with Seiya holding Yaten's hand.