Stargate Atlantis: Heart's Bane
"John! John!"
John Sheppard smiled at the enthusiastic voice of his friend, but he was really smiling at the woman with him although she hadn't turned or looked over to acknowledge him. He strolled into the physics lab, feeling a lightness in his step that hadn't been there for nearly a month.
Rodney McKay and Moira O'Meara were standing near a console, both wearing headphones that were plugged into a computer. Both were nodding and gesticulating as they spoke rapidly, listening to the same thing. Rodney glanced at the military commander and smiled. "I think we've got it! The language! I think I have isolated the noises on the scans we took to be communications within the ship! Here!" He took off his headphones and offered them.
John sidestepped to Moira who was concentrating, rosy lips pursed together as she was tapping a pencil on a pad of paper. A gasp of surprise escaped her as he lifted one of the headphones to listen, standing so close to her his body brushed along hers. His brow furrowed and he restored the headphone to her ear. "Sounds like someone gargling to me."
Moira smiled and removed the headphones as did Rodney. "We think we have found their language amid all of the other noises from the scans."
"Are you sure? I mean how can you tell that's a language?" he asked, gaze moving from one to the other. He smiled as Moira stepped away from him, just enough to allow space between them. It was a subtle reprimand that John was going to choose to ignore.
"Information theory," Rodney and Moira said at the same time. At John's pained expression Rodney elucidated. "It's a quantification of information using a series of algorithms that can determine if this in fact a language or just random gibberish."
"We can use the computer to ferret out the probabilities and each particular sound or word and it can rank them from the ones used the most to the ones used the least," Moira continued the explanation.
"Once that program runs if the resulting diagram is a forty-five degree slope it proves that information is being transmitted, not just random gibberish but actual words and sentences!" Rodney concluded.
"This program works for all kinds of languages, not just human ones! It has been used to verify that dolphins are in fact speaking to each other and conveying information in their squeaks and calls, and if we could only translate that we could communicate with them to—"
"Whoa, whoa, please!" John cried, holding up his hands as if in surrender. "I don't need science in stereo!"
Rodney rolled his eyes, giving Moira a long suffering expression. "You see?" He turned to the console. "Running the program now. It might take a while as there is no known correlating data base with which it can compare its findings but it will run the program all the same."
"You do realize this language could be anything! If the Homo erectus followed a similar evolutionary path that we did from simple gestures and sounds to a full vocabulary, maybe several could match ours in complexity and diversity!" Moira enthused, but she sobered and eyed the computer. "Of course you'll have to run all this by Simmons and get his—"
"No. This stays here, and only with you, Moira. It goes directly to you and then you come directly to me," John asserted, seeing her worry, the squashing of her enthusiasm at the thought of her boss.
Moira met his gaze. "I can't do that, John, er, Colonel Sheppard," she corrected awkwardly, very aware of Rodney watching them. She moved away to gather a few books and a pad of paper. "Doctor Simmons is my superior and I have to cede all reports and findings to him."
"No, Doctor O'Meara. You are my go-to on this and therefore you will surrender everything to me. Everything."
Moira met his gaze. His voice was low, and suggestions danced in his green eyes that had absolutely nothing to do with science. He licked his lips, a slow, tantalizing motion of his tongue and Moira was transfixed, reliving that passionate kiss they had shared. She tried to say something but words were beyond her as she could hardly believe that this man, the most handsome man she had ever seen was flirting with her. She was silent, quickly looking away and moving round to another console. She wasn't sure if he was teasing her in some cruel game or was being genuine.
John followed after her, intrigued at her aloofness and curious at her tension. He stood behind her, watching as she gathered more papers. "So…doctor…what color are we wearing today?" he asked quietly.
"What? You can very well see what…oh." She turned, nearly bumping into him as he was so close again. She glared at him as he smiled, affirming her suspicion that he wasn't talking about her green t-shirt or her khaki slacks but what was beneath them. "That is none of your business, colonel!" she flared.
He smiled, blocking her from fleeing his scrutiny. "I believe that it is, Moira. Just tell me the color, all right? Unless you're offering another visual demonstration?" He raised a brow, green eyes sparkling with the memory.
Moira was trying not to smile at his outrageous behavior. "You don't need to know that, colonel."
"Oh doctor, I do. I really do need to know that. I can be quite persistent, you know."
"I can be quite stubborn, you know."
"Really? I'd like to tame that stubbornness. And what am I being right now?" he asked, moving again to block her. He smiled at her, waiting. He tilted his head, waiting for the two words he wanted her to say.
She sighed, shoving past him. "Naughty colonel," she teased softly.
John grinned, turning to watch her leave but he schooled his expression as Rodney was watching him, a look of pained realization on his face. "What? I was just…um…"
"You better watch it, John. You're in the city, not on some alien planet, and besides, aren't you dating Ann?"
"Yeah, I was just...it was just some fun, just some harmless teasing, that's all," he explained, shrugging and dismissing the concerns of his friend. "It doesn't mean anything."
"Are you sure about that?" Rodney inquired, his keen gaze having noted the changes in his friend.
John glowered. He didn't answer. He strode out of the physics lab, silent.
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I knew something was wrong. No, I knew something had changed. I couldn't bring myself to admit it could be over, but something had changed. I knew John had been under a lot of pressure, that he was being affected by the city and wasn't being himself. I knew he was taking on too much and not letting anybody in, not even me.
He was uncommunicative and always seemed to be in a bad mood, sulking around the city while he was restricted to the base. He barely talked about whatever he had experienced when he had been unconscious. I couldn't quite believe the things he did say, the way he tried to explain his connection to the city.
It felt like he was pulling away from me, from everyone.
He hadn't invited me to his room for weeks now, and although still affectionate he didn't seem interested in sex. I missed the intimacy. I missed the feel of him next to me. I missed the warmth of his body. I missed just being with him, but I understood the demands of his job, the burden of command that hung heavily upon him.
I was probably overreacting. Whatever it is will work itself out, I thought. Then things will get back to normal and we will be together like we were before all of this. We had broken so many rules and regulations to be together that I knew we couldn't just throw it all away, not over a bad patch or some misunderstanding.
Besides, everyone said we were great together, that we belonged together. Our friends were encouraging and supported us, and turned a blind eye to the rules and regulations that normally would have divided us.
Everyone said we belonged together.
Except that John was acting differently now.
Something had changed.