Interdimensional Cable 3: The Misfit
Author's Note: Yes people, this is actual improv from off of the top of my head. Hope you like my scrambled thoughts and opinions. ;D
Rick and Morty walked into an interdimensional bar, which was lit with barely functioning amber colored lamps and decorated with dark wood counters, tables, and chairs.
"This is my place, M-uuurp!-orty!" Rick declared. "This is where, shit happens."
"Geez, R-Rick," Morty squeaked, holding his arm. "This place looks dangerous."
"Oh God, who cares?" Rick scolded. "Loosen up and have some fun for once." He called out an order of two shots of meschagen, a type of alien liqueur.
He dragged Morty over to two dark leather recliners placed side by side in front of a TV.
"Let's see what's on," Rick contemplated. He snatched up the relatively normal looking remote from the arm of the recliner and flicked on the small device.
"Now, coming soon," the announcer to the movie trailer said. "The Mangle Brothers return with a lot of penguins, and weeds invade the world, and they have to stop them, with the penguins' beaks as weed cutters, but poachers come and take the penguins, so they hire bats to take out the poachers to take the penguins back, and then save the world from weed enslavement."
"Geez, Rick, do they ever sound sure of what they're announcing?" Morty asked his grandfather, who had an annoyed look plastered on his face.
"Morty, I don't care," Rick admitted. "All I know is that this shit's lame!" Rick spring up from his seat, snatched up the cable box from on top of the TV, and harshly dropped it on the hardwood floor. He pulled out a time crystal from his lab coat, screwed it in, and reassembled the cable box.
"We'll see what's on now, M-uuurp!-orty!" Rick said after returning to his original spot. After flicking on the TV once more, a film noir type TV show came on.
"I'm the Angst," the character on screen monolouged. "My parents died in a freak ball in a cup accident, I have a Gold Rush era disease with no cure, and I can't lose five pounds. My life sucks. I have to become a crime fighter to release all of my negative feelings."
The scene switched to inside of a grocery store to another character selecting a loaf of bread from a shelf and placing it in a basket he was holding.
"Hold it right there, scumbag!" Angst said.
"What did I do?" The other character asked in an accent unknown to Morty.
"You're trying to rob that bread from the starving kids who need it more! You must pay for your sins, evil doer!"
"I was going to pay for it! This is mime, fair and square!"
"Shut up!" Angst punched the supposed villain in the face, then began to gruesomely beat him up.
Rick changed the channel while Morty shielded his eyes from the gore. Meanwhile, a waitress came to them holding a tray with one shot of the alien alcohol.
"Your drink, sir," she told him.
Rick scoffed at the contents of the punk alien's tray. "I said two shots bitch!" He angrily shoved the tray away as she scurried back to the bar counter. "Get it right this time!" he called back.
The next channel seemed to be playing a kids' show.
"Come on, Marafesto!" The kid said to a monster type alien by him. "I have to save the world from dangerous adults with access to gins and poison with the power of love, unity, and my useless bandanna and goggles!"
"Rick, is this really appropriate f-for kids?" Morty asked.
"I don't know Morty," Rick answered. "Some planets just have some pretty weird standards. On the planet where that show came from, you can get arrested for saying the word fuck, but this passes."
The waitress before came back. "Your order sir. So sorry for the inconvienence."
"Thank you," Morty said. "Y-You can leave the tray here."
The waitress was gone by the time Rick changed the channel again.
"Time for another episode of How Long Can You Look in the Light?" The host, who was wearing a white suit coated in lightbulbs said. "Let's see who can look in the light the longest!" He walked up to the first contestant, a Gromflomite. "Hello sir, I'm Mr. Glass Chessebright. Do you think you can look in the light the longest?"
"I think I can." The Gromflomite said.
"Let's find out," Glass announced. "Perry, light it up!"
The lightbulb in front of the Gromflomite dazzled with stunning lumosity, even slightly painful for those watching on TV.
"It's already been ten seconds! He's off to a great start!" Glass cheered.
After ten more seconds, the Gromflomite started to sag. After five more seconds, he started melting, beginning with his eyes.
"Aw geez, Rick!" Morty cried, snapping his eyes shut. "Change it!"
"Fine, you pussy," Rick complied while he downed his shot of alien liquor. "Take your shot."
Morty hesitantly reached for his drink when he saw a war documentary on the screen.
"God," Rick whined.
"What?" Morty asked after taking a very miniscule sip of his drink.
"All anyone ever does is make documentaries about this fucking war," Rick complained. "It's gotten really cliché and played -uuurp!-out." He quickly flipped the channel to a crappy-probably-made-for-TV movie.
Rick and Morty sat in comfort mocking the movie, with both of their shot glasses sitting turned over on the tray that was left behind for the rest of the night.