Elena's POV

it had been a couple days, since I had ripped stefan's heart out of his chest and told Damon I loved him. Guilt had begun to set in, how could I do that to Stefan? How could I tell him in front of Everyone I wasn't in Love with him anymore. At one point, I had told Damon, it was always gonna be Stefan, so How come it wasn't anymore? I didn't understand my feelings or my actions lately. I had even told them Stefan treated me like a broken toy and I knew that wasn't true, He treated me with love and respect, More than I could say for Damon. I was Starting to doubt everything about myself, I was starting to doubt any of this was real. What I had with Stefan was real, But what I had Damon, I didn't even understand it. Why would I choose Damon, over Stefan? he turned me into a vampire, the night I was supposed to die. I didn't even like who I was anymore, or the way I treated people. Caroline pointed out things, and I would get upset, but it was because she was right. who was I? Stefan came in the room, I was sitting on the couch and he was eyeing me. I could tell he was still hurting badly and it was hard for him to stand in this room and even look at me. "Stefan," I began.

"Don't," he said. "I am not here to break you and Damon up, or keep you apart. I just came to say goodbye."

"Goodbye," I asked confused. Why would he be saying goodbye? Then again we had broken up, but I thought we already said our goodbyes for that. His voice sounded different, sad.

"Yes, goodbye. Elena, I am leaving town for a while. Klaus and I are going to New Orleans, it's to help find the cure," He told me gently.

"Stefan, You Can't, You can't Just leave me here alone," I said trying to stop him. I didn't like the thought of him going anywhere with Klaus. Klaus was a master manipulator and I was worried he would push Stefan back into his old ways. it was hard enough the last time when Stefan turned ripper. If I wasn't around, who would pull him out of it? It wasn't safe for him to be alone with Klaus.

"Elena your not alone. You have Damon, Caroline, Jeremy, Matt and Even Tyler," he said simply.

"I need you," I said firmly.

"No You don't. You said so in the library."

"Thats not what I said, Stefan. You know it," I defended myself.

"Elena I can't be here, I can't be around you it hurts too much," he admitted to me. It hurt hearing him say that, I remember when being around me, Made him cheery. "I still want to help you, I want to find the cure. I can do that by going to New orleans with Klaus."

"No Stefan, I am sorry, I don't want you to hurt, especially not because of me," I said honestly. "I miss when you were happy. I don't want you to go with Klaus, its dangerous," I pleaded with him.

"I can take care of myself, Elena. I'll be fine, I need to do this for me and for you," he argued.

"How is Leaving good for any of us Stefan," I yelled furious now. I know I had no right to yell at him or even try to stop him, but I couldn't Just let him go. I didn't want him to be in danger, I wanted him safe. I wanted him here with me, I didn't want him to leave. I had no right to feel that way, It was selfish after what I had done to him in that library, but I couldn't help it. I still cared about Stefan, I still felt something for him. I didn't want to be here with Damon.

"Elena, You need to figure out if you really love Damon, and You can't do that with me around," He sighed. "I need to heal, I need to hold onto what we had, I Can't do that if I have to watch you and Damon. if Damon is who you want, I need time to accept it. I need to find the cure, that will help sort out this whole mess."

"I want to go with you," I cried. "I Can't be here alone with Damon. Everyone hates me, they hate who I have become." The tears rolled down my cheeks. I was scared, Scared that Stefan wouldn't come back, Scared that Damon would leave me someday, Scared that I would end up alone. Scared that No one would want to be around me, Scared that everything would fall apart. "Please Stefan, Please don't go," I begged.

"Elena, This one time, I cannot make you happy," He told me. "I am sorry, I have to go."

"You don't have to," I snapped. "You can stay here, You just wont."

"Your not being fair Elena," Stefan said. He was right, I wasn't being fair. Why should I be fair, Nothing in my life had ever been fair to me. My parents were taking from me, My brother was a hunter and all he wanted to do was kill me. I was a vampire, I didn't want any of this, it wasn't fair.

"I know," was all I could muster up. I just wanted to run into his arms and hold onto him forever. We shared everything together, Memories, Love, Happiness, and now it was all being taken away from us. Who cared if I met damon first? Damon didn't caress me, Damon didn't protect me from the good and the bad. When Damon and I met, he was probably still in love with Katherine. Stefan had been over katherine, He fell in love with me from the moment we meant.

"I have to do this for me, I've done everything that I could for you. I need to be selfish just this once and do it for me," he said apologizing. "I wish I could make you Happy right now, Elena, You don't know how much I wish that, But I Can't. So I need to make me happy."

"I understand, I just wish this wasn't so hard, I wish everything was the way it used to be when I was human," I said crying. I ran over to him and wrapped him in a hug. I held him tight and cried my eyes out. they fell on his shoulder and he cried too silently. We had never held each other like this before. I was right about one thing, I was broken, but not because of Stefan. Because of Myself, thats who I had to blame. It was my fault things were so confusing, It was my fault I didn't know what I felt for stefan and what I felt for damon. It was my fault that Stefan was broken too, that he needed to leave. I needed to seperate my feelings, and figure things out. It was my fault all of it, this whole situation. "I am sorry Stefan, All of this is my fault."

"No its not Elena," he comforted me.

"But it is," i argued.

"No its Damon's, I hate my brother," he said angrily.

"Don't blame him, Stefan, Please," I begged. I wasn't defending him cause I loved him, because I don't know if I actually felt that way about damon. I felt close to damon and I cared about him, but I don't think love described the feeling. I had said that in the library, but thinking back to it now, it wasn't because I meant it. It was like I needed to say it, Like I was obligated. Maybe cause of the sire bond, maybe not. Maybe it was because I was afraid what all my friends, would think of me, I had slept with my ex boyfriend's brother because I was lonely. I was scared and he comforted me, and I thought that was love, I convinced myself that in the library. Was it Love? I don't know I wasn't sure. "I guess this is goodbye," I said holding him tight never wanting to let go.

"I will come back Elena, and We'll figure everything out. We will fix it, whether that means you stay with Damon or reunite with me, I don't know. With or without the cure, Your gonna be okay, So am I, " he replied truthfully.

"I hope so," I said with some doubt in my voice. I was scared, but I had faith in Stefan. More faith in him than I had myself and Damon. If I loved Damon, why didn't I have faith in him? why Didn't I trust him? What exactly was this feeling I had for Damon? I didn't understand it. I let go of stefan and i watched as he walked out the door. I could feel my heart slowly start to shatter, it was like little shards of glass cutting me from the inside out. it was the most intense and terrifying pain I had ever felt in my entire life. What Had I just done? What Had I just let go?