Hey Guys! I know that I have like 2 other stories that I need to finish and I have trouble undating often, but I just had to publish this! like sour candy said, Junie B barely has any stories and besides, this some of my best work. I really wanted to publish this. This is the longest chapter I've ever written for anything.

Well, enjoy, and please, please, pretty please R&R!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own Junie B jones or any of her awesome randomosity.

Chapter 1

"JUNIE BEATRICE JONES IF YOU'RE NOT DOWN HERE IN SIXTY SECONDS…..!!!!!!!"

Junie B had turned her room upside down looking for her lucky green gorilla for the past 15 minutes. If she didn't hurry, she was going to be late for school. As far as her dad was concerned at least.

"JUNIE B!!!!!!!!!!!"

"I'M COMING!!!!"

She finally remembered she had left it in the front pocket of her small JanSport backpack (her purse, basically).

Ha-ha, there it is she thought as she took it out. She gave it a squeeze (Morning Grandpa), slung her bags over her shoulder (What did I put in here???), grabbed her skateboard (I need some new wheels), looked at her room (I'll pay for it later) and ran down the stairs.

"About time!" Her father almost shouted.

Junie rolled her eyes.

"Dad. My bus is always like forty minutes early to school. If I miss it, I'll skate all the way there." She said as patiently as was possible. Even when it had taken her a half hour to get ready (including the time she spent looking for her monkey) and had six minutes to get to the bus stop she was still going to be early. It was still dark out even. But noooo, according to her dad, a missed bus practically meant you missed school.

He snorted.

"And have you run over by a car or hit your head from falling from all that backpack weight?" He was being sarcastic but his tone was slightly gentler. He opened the door and Junie ran out the door and into her dads car.

Normally she would ride her skateboard to the bus stop, meet Herb there and then ride together on the bus to school. But since the weather had gotten colder and the mornings darker, her dad drove her to the stop on his way to work. The ride there was like 2 minutes.

They rode in silence. She made it just as the bus was coming to a stop.

"Have a nice day Honey."

"Yeah thanks dad." She said as she rushed out.

"Don't slam the-" SLAM! "…door"

Junie ran in and sat at her usual spot: Three rows down from door on the right. Herb sat in front of her. The bus was, as usual, almost empty. For some strange reason, it always went to get the kids at Junie's stop, dropped them off at school and then went to get everyone else.

Herb turned to face her. He was wearing his favorite Yellow-and-Blue reversible flame beanie today.

"You almost missed it."

Junie rolled her eyes.

"No really Herbert? I didn't notice. Thank you for giving me that invaluable information"

Now it was Herbs turn to roll his eyes.

"Not the bus, May!"

"What about May?"

"She was bragging-"

"As per usual"

"Yeah, well it was about how much her new purse cost or something-"

"You actually listened?"

"Oh shut up!"

"Sorry."

"Well anyway, she was doing her usual daily morning bragging when Bryce Dungan suddenly came up and started making out with her."

Junie made a face.

"Ok, ewww!"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'm glad I missed that" She said shaking her head.

Herb shook his.

"I said almost."

"What do you mean?"

"Turn around."

She did. Bryce and May were sitting in the back, so closely wrapped around each other you couldn't tell whose hands was whose. Junie swore she saw tongue in there. Gross.

"EWWWWW!!!!!" She said as loudly as was possible so the bus driver still couldn't hear. She turned around completely disgusted. "I could've lived a full and happy life without having to see that. But nooooo, you had to go and make turn around to witness an event that might scar me for life and possibly cause me to lose my eyesight!!!!!"

Herb rolled his eyes but laughed all the same.

"You are such a drama queen Junie B." He said shaking his head.

She turned all sweet and smiley and adorable.

"Yes, it's one of the many things you love about me." She turned serious again. "Now why did you tell me to see that?"

Herb shrugged.

"I was just thinking."

"'Bout?"

Herb shrugged and turned away. The bus was arriving at the school. Junie frowned a little.

"Heeeeerrrrbbbb??" She stretched his name out.

"Yeeeeeeeaaaaaahh??"

"Come on, tell me what you were thinking about!"

"I will, once we get off the bus!"

Junie huffed.

"Fiiiiiiinnnnnneeeeee."

Herb laughed.

The bus came to a full stop. The students started to get up. Junie noticed May and Bryce where still playing tonsil hockey.

Even when they had arrived at the school, they still had to walk a good ten minutes to reach the main building. It was a weirdly shaped school. While most of the students walked to the commons, Herb and Junie B rode their skateboards to the outside grounds right outside them. It gave them space and time to talk.

"So Herb, why was I forced to observe that horrific yet illegal public show of affection?" she said trying to imitate their principal.

Herb laughed again.

"I don't know, I guess I just find it hard to believe."

"What, that anyone would want to make out with little miss I-rule-the-world?"

"Yeah and that she's had like what, seven or eight boyfriends by now and we still haven't even kissed anyone?"

"And by we you mean…?"

"You, me, Lenny, Shirley, and Jose."

"We'll I don't know about you guys, but Me and Shirley have kinda talked about why we haven't."

"And why is it then?"

"Look at me!" She stopped suddenly and kicked her skateboard up. Herb stopped as well. He stared at her. "What?"

"You said to look at you!"

She punched him in the arm.

"Ow!"

"Ha-ha." She started to walk. "I'm serious Herb. First, Shirley and I are probably the biggest tomboys in the school. Last I checked, that's not very appealing to guys. But at least she has a feminine side. I think I lost mine to you and Lenny and Jose during the course of our eight-year friendship. Second, I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not exactly cut out to be on America's next top model. I'm not pretty nor do I even pretend to care about how I look. And finally, the last guy that I know of to have had a crush on me was Jim in kindergarten, so it doesn't even count. And it's not like I've ever done anything to get close to a guy I've had a crush on." She finished with a big sigh.

"That's not true!" Herb exclaimed. She raised her eyebrows at him. He got on his skateboard again and rode slowly. "Yeah, well, you are a lot of the things you said like a tomboy or indifferent around guys, but you make it sound like it's a bad thing. It's cool that you act the same around us than you do with girls."

"And by 'us' I'm assuming you mean the male race?" She joked getting on her skateboard as well."

"Yeah, well it is. It means we don't have to act up or anything and can just act normal."

"You mean like a bunch of perverted pigs? Yeah I like it a lot more this way." She said rolling her eyes.

Herb pushed her lightly. She pushed him into a shrub.

"HEY! OW!!"

Junie B laughed.

"Come on, we have to meet with the others, you couch potato!!" She skated faster.

"Hey there is nothing wrong with sitting in front of the TV eating potato chips!!!"

"There is if that's all you plan to do with your life Herbert!!"

"I am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Not!"

"Too!"

"Not!!"

"Too!!"

"No- OOF!!!!"

Lenny had very suddenly slammed into Herb, knocking the wind out of him, with Shirley right on his heels. They both fell down.

Shirley rolled her eyes and kicked her skateboard up.

"I told you Lenny, you can't look away while you're skateboarding. You're not coordinated enough to avoid hurting yourself and others."

Lenny got up slowly rubbing his head.

"I'm actually ok, I landed on something soft."

"Yeah" Said Herb weakly. "ME."

They laughed and Junie B helped Herb stand up.

"You ok dude?"

Herb blinked.

"I think so. Am I still in one piece?"

They laughed again.

Junie turned to Lenny.

"So, Leonard, what where you staring at that made you almost break Herb over here?"

Shirley answered for him.

"I'll give you one guess." She turned her head in the direction where Lucille and her clique where walking in.

They all turned to Lenny again.

"Flirting again?" Junie B said, more like a statement than a question.

Lenny shrugged simply.

"I can't help it." He ran his hands through his carefully spiked hair. "Girls are magnetically attracted to me." He winked at three passing girls who started to giggle uncontrollably.

They cracked up. Herb looked around.

"Where's Jose? Isn't he usually with you guys in the morning?"

"Oh yeah, where is he?" asked Junie B.

Shirley and Lenny looked at each other. Junie B got suspicious.

"There's nothing wrong with him, is there?"

"No! No, nothing's wrong he got called by the counselor, that's all." Said Shirley frowning. "What worries me was his face."

"What's wrong with his face?" Asked Herb puzzled.

"Not the face itself, his expression!" Said Shirley impatiently. "And by the look of Lenny's at the time I was starting to suspect you boys had been up to something…" She finished suspiciously. Junie B got the same look on her face.

Herb and Lenny looked guilty all of a sudden.

"You guys haven't done anything recently, have you?" Asked Junie B. They boys also had a small reputation as being pranksters.

"Well…" Said Herb.

"Well…?" Said Shirley and Junie B simultaneously.

Lenny scratched his head nervously.

"Remember that goat that got in two weeks ago…?"

The girls groaned.

"You didn't.." Said Shirley

"We did.." said the boys together.

"HERB!"

"LENNY!"

"Well you see-"

"We didn't mean too-"

"We only wanted to-"

"It was mostly accidental-"

"Mr. Skeener was looking for it-"

"It was Lenny's idea!"

"You helped!"

"So did Jose!"

"You agreed to it!"

"I did not, you forced me!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!!"

"BOYS!"

"WHAT?!"

Lenny and Herb stopped arguing and remembered they were in trouble. Both with the teachers and the girls.

Herb groaned.

"We are so dead!"

"Yeah, you got that part right ." Said Shirley.

"But it doesn't make sense." Said Junie B. They all looked at her.

"It kinda does, the teachers have been looking for an excuse to suspend them since their first day here, remember?" Said Shirley, shaking her friend slightly, as if worried she was suffering from sudden amnesia.

"Not that, that part is obvious." Said Junie B, taking Shirley's hands of her shoulders. "What doesn't make sense is why would they call Jose down if they were looking for a confession? Herb's the easiest to crack!" She continued deep in thought.

"HEY!" Herb said indignantly.

"Sorry Herb, you may be my best friend but you're horrible under pressure." She said putting a hand on his shoulder.

They all laughed.

"Yeah and Jose's the hardest to get to squeal. He's great with secrets." Said Shirley. It was true, they had all told Jose some of their deepest darkest secrets.

"Yeah, but what if- OOF!!"

"SAFE!!!"

Jose had just done exactly what Lenny had done earlier and slammed into Herb, throwing them both down on the ground. Difference was, he wasn't staring at girls, he was in too much of a hurry to reach them and forgot to break. Lenny was pretending to be an umpire with his hands spread out over the fallen bodies of his friends.

"That's two for two Herb" Chuckled Junie B as she helped him up again.

Jose helped him up as well.

"Sorry man, estas bien?"

"Yeah, I'm getting used to being the groups punch-bag" Herb said sarcastically. They laughed.

"So Jose, did Ms. Lemand tell you how much we have to live cause of the goat?"

"No, we didn't get caught." Said Jose calmly.

"YES!!!!"

Lenny and Herb high-fived

"So what did she want?" asked Shirley.

"She wanted me to mentor this new girl that's coming today. To help her with her locker, find the cafeteria, get to our classes…"

"Wait, our classes?" Interrupted Lenny.

Jose shrugged.

"She said she put her in all my classes so she would at least know one person." He paused. "She said she's from Mexico too."

Awww, thought Junie B, He'll be perfect for this! He'll have someone to talk in Spanish with. Plus, he's normally so shy with girls it might be good for him.

Herb shook his head.

"I just hope she doesn't turn out to a be one of those super girly-girls." He said with the tiniest bit of disgust in his voice.

"Personally, I wouldn't mind so much if she did turn out like that!" said Lenny, running his fingers through his hair as another group of giggling girls passed by.

"So you wouldn't mind another May?" said Herb starting to get annoyed.

"Speaking of May," Cut in Junie B, sensing a fight coming on. "Herb forced me to watch one of the grossest things I have ever witnessed in my entire life."

"I did not force you…"

"Well, I trusted you to keep me from seeing such horrible things! Herb, you lost my confidence this morning."

He rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, If you don't want to lose your breakfast, I recommend you cover your eyes."

"This must be good!" said Lenny rubbing his hands together. "Continue."

"She doesn't have to" Said Herb with evident disgust. "Turn around."

They did. They could see through the big windows that in a hidden corner of the commons May and Bryce had continued what they had started at the bus stop to a slightly extremer level. They were now on the floor, their hands going everywhere and with Bryce occasionally sucking on May's neck. Hidden, yet still publicly.

Interjections and phrases of disgust started to fly.

"EWWWWWWW!"

"THAT'S NASTY MAN!"

"OH GROSS!!!!"

"I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK!!!!"

"WHY ME???"

"I'M GOING BLIND!!!!!!"

"SOMEBODY CALL THE PRINCIPAL!"

"THAT'S SO MUCH WORSE THAN THIS MORNING!!!!"

"THANKS A LOT HERB!"

"What are you blaming me for?" He said offended.

"Why'd you tell us to turn around?" Retorted Shirley, who was covering her eyes. Jose looked like he was changing a diaper, Lenny was covering his mouth and Junie B looked like she was about to faint (She was exaggerating). Herb himself looked a little green.

"OK, now I understand the no public displays of affection rule!" said Junie B.

"You didn't have to, you said you wanted to!!!" He defended himself, raising his hands.

"I say, off with his head!!" Exclaimed Junie B, raising her fist.

"Yeah!"

"I second that motion!"

"Now come on guys, you don't really mean that do you?"

They began to chant:

"Off with his head! Off with his head!"

"Guys…"

"Off with his head! Off with his head!"

"Guys, come one…"

They had him cornered.

"Off with his head! Off with his head!"

"Guys, why don't we talk about this…"

"Off with his head!"

"Guys, please…"

"Off with his head!"

"AAAAAHHH!!!"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The ball rang and they calmly gathered their things and headed inside, leaving Herb hunched over, covering his head with his arms. Only Junie B stayed back.

Herb opened one eye. Then the other. He slowly lowered his rams and straightened up. Junie B handed him his backpack and skateboard.

"Saved by the bell, Herbert." She said grabbing his hand and pulling him inside.

He laughed and let her drag him to their homeroom class.

What ya think?? If you've read my other stories (Please do if you havent :), you know this is longer that I usually have my chapters be. 14 pages double spaced (almost 15) and 7 single spaced.

Once again, R&R!!!!