Author's Note: Those who are reading Angel of Fire, this is not part of that storyline at all. This is just something I wrote after finishing ME3 last night. This is not my best writing, I wrote it still while crying a bit. And I'm aware the gun she picks up is some random, but I wanted it to be a bit more personal this time around. So this is a slight AU of the control ending. Slight in character swearing.
I look from the starchild to the three choices in front of me. Control, synthesize or destroy. These are the options I must choose from. Another sharp pain shoots through my body. I grit my teeth against the pain, focusing on what is the decision I must make now. I look to the blue console. I know it's what the Illusive Man wanted. Complete control of the reapers. If I take control of them, I can influence them to do good, help the races of the galaxy rebuild from all this destruction. However... I'll lose my own life. In reality though, I don't see how I'd live past today. My arms, legs... my entire body is saturated in my own blood. I know I've survived incredible odds before, came back to life even, but no one can ever survive this much blood loss. I squeeze the gun in my hand a little harder. No one would even find me. They'd never find this place. I look at the pistol in my hand. It's the one Garrus gave me a few months ago. I carved his name on the barrel, like I did with my Black Widow.
I slowly move my body towards the console. It's time to end this war. Time to right all the wrongs that have been done between all races. I stumble, falling to the cold glass. I summon what little strength I have left, standing to my feet once more, continuing my journey to the console. I stand in front of the two controls, one for each hand. I lay the gun down at my feet.
"I'm sorry Garrus... I'm not coming home. Never... forget me. Please." I whisper as a tear falls. I place my hands on the controls, feeling the surge of power shoot through me, slowly dissolving my body away as I'm enveloped in a bright light.
I wake up in a familiar place. I sit up slowly, taking in my surroundings. My room... I'm on the Normandy. I spring to my feet, making a mad dash to the door. To my surprise however, instead of the door opening, I just walk through it. I reach out to place my hand on the door, seeing now that I'm slightly transparent. I'm... some sort of ghost or spirit now. No, no this can't be. I don't want to just be a spirit, I want to be real. I want to be human again. Why am I here? I should be gone from here, dead to this part of life completely I should be watching over the galaxy as the new guardian and protector I swore I would be when I placed my hands on those controls. So why am I here?
I drop to the third floor, walking (or am I actually floating?) to the med bay. I hear shouts coming from inside. I enter to see the doctor trying to make Garrus stay down.
"You can not get up yet! You must let me finish with your wounds!"
"I can't just stay here. Something happened at the Citadel, I want to know what. I need to know if she's alive." Garrus shouts before coughing.
"You'll be no good to her dead!"
"I'm not staying her, it's final."
"Let the search teams look."
"Those idiots couldn't find a brute if it was five feet in front of them." He retorts, pushing against the doctor so he can stand. I can see how it pains him to. He falters a little, weak from loss of blood.
"Garrus stop. Let him fix you!" I shout, forgetting that they probably can't hear me. He stops a moment, but then continues to walk to the door.
"Dammit Garrus, listen to me I can't have you die too! Let him fix you." My resolve washes away as I start to cry, scared for the love of my life. He gasps, falling to the ground. I kneel next to him.
"No.. no no. I can't let you die. You're not supposed to die." I choke on the words, as I reach out to touch his face. My hand doesn't go through him, I can feel his skin against my cold hand. He coughs up blue... turian blood. The doctor is at his side now, trying to keep him somewhat stablized. Garrus' eyes close as he starts to whisper something. I lean closer so I can hear.
"I... love you Shepard. If you're up there somewhere... I'll be joining you soon." With that he breathes his last, body shuddering a little.
"No!" I look at the doctor. "Bring him back!" The doctor, shakes his head though. Standing up as he puts his hand to his earpiece.
"I need assistance down in the med bay. Garrus has passed on."
"You can't just give up on him like that!" The doctor pays me no mind, turning away. I look down at Garrus' lifeless body. We'd been through so much together... and it looks like this ending was to be our last forever. I drop my head into my hands, starting to sob. Crying for Garrus, crying for Thane, Mordin, and all the people who had died before the Reapers could be stopped.
"Do not cry." The voice of the starchild turns me around to face him. "You have provided a new solution."
"How are you here? I thought you couldn't exist outside of the Citadel."
"I am no longer the Catalyst. I am just a mere image being projected so I may relay these words to you. While you are no longer in a mortal body, you are still yourself. We have collected you from it. You must remain this way, so that the new solution never fails.
"So I'm to exist... forever? Like some sort of mythological goddess?"
"Precisely."
"So I'm to exist... alone."
"No. We have decided it would be bad. You may regret your decision and choose to destroy, creating a new problem. Therefore, you will have another join you. They will be with you shortly after we have finished processing them." I go to ask something, but the image of the starchild disappears before I can get a word out. What the hell was that supposed to mean? I sigh, as I turn to walk away. I don't want to be in the precense of death anymore. I've had enough death to last several lifetimes.
"Are you just going to leave without saying goodbye?" That voice. I spin around, my eyes greeted by Garrus whose body is transparent like mine.
"Oh my God, Garrus!" I rush forward, throwing my arms around him. I can touch him. He can hear me. We're together now.
"I don't understand what is happening and this is nothing like the heaven Turians talked about, but hell, if you're here? That's all I could ever ask for." He says, nuzzling his face into my hair.
"Same here Garrus... same here."