She Walks in Beauty

A/N: Mille Grazie to Unbridled dot mind for placing this plot bunny in my path by having John not understand Joss' hair, her aversion to getting it wet and the kindly loan of her hairdresser character Jenelle. I will post the next chapter next week if not sooner. xxxxooooo

If anyone is waiting for updates to Promise Me You'll Tell Him, thank you for hanging in there and they are on the way. Thank you for your patience. Hopefully this little divergence will pique your interest in my stories again. Thank you.

Chapter 1

There were things her husband was not. John was not a man of a lot of words, nor one of indecision. But two of the things he was ran him ragged and had Joss trying to keep an eye on him these last couple of days. Joss had noticed that it was beginning to take John longer and longer to recover physically from the various broken bones or the surface and deep tissue contusions and even more worrisome the concussions that seemed to have become S.O.P. for his job. Working the numbers, in John's case, wasn't as tame as it sounded.

Joss had awoken to feeling John's side of the bed being cold and empty three days ago on a frigid day in January. She was a bit worried about him because after not seeing him for the previous 72 hours he had just crept in bed 3 to 4 hours ago from the number he worked those three days before. When he finally came to bed she barely registered him trying to get in bed without disturbing her. She wasn't even sure if he had gotten fully undressed before slipping in on his side. Yet there it was the butt crack of dawn and he was gone, again.

One of those two things that had her concerned about him was that John was a boy scout. Oh he'd scoff at that statement if Joss told him that that's one of the things about him she knew in her heart was true. But that Boy Scout was also one of the things she loved about him and she madly, truly and so deeply loved her boy scout. He had told her once that Kara didn't like the Boy Scout in him. From what he had finally said about her Joss had surmised that Kara had tried to assault the Boy Scout out of him with belittling and cruelty and unwanted sex. No, John was not very friendly, cheerful, obedient or reverent. Lord knows most nights after being out saving some person or another, John certainly wasn't clean either. That big heart of his though is filled with loyalty, trust worthiness, unflagging bravery, kindness and empathy, especially for children.

Joss sighs gently as she thinks about John. She knows John has made some very good progress in seeing the good man that he is. But he's still a long way from believing he's that good man she had told Agent Donnelly John was on that fateful night in the back seat of the agent's car.

John felt he had a debt to pay for his work with the CIA, for all the lives he had taken. He worked himself often to the brink of exhaustion, and sometimes over the brink trying to save those people, the numbers, who found themselves in unexpected life or death situations. He is ever trying to atone for something, that sadly Joss knows deep within, he feels he never can repay. Joss knew John and she understood that his real driving force was that he hated injustice and cruelty and bullies. That he was, to his core, a boy scout. In Joss' opinion John had earned enough merit badges for five life times and he needed to start thinking about himself a bit more. With a smirk on her lips and the thoughts of John that warmed her heart as well as other parts of her she revised Boy Scout to her Scout Master.

Thing two though was something she worried about most of the time. That Sisyphus size rock of guilt that John continued to wrestle with and the low self-esteem it bought with it made him think that he still didn't matter to those in his life and that he had to take care of everyone but himself. John thinking that he was not worthy of her and Taylor and the team he worked with, well it just plain pissed her off and made her perfectly arched brows crease and furrow in a slight scowl whenever she saw it raise its ugly monstrous head. It bugged her to no end that he thinks he's not worth people caring for and about. His guilt fueled low self-worth leads him to sometimes, though thankfully not too often these days, do reckless things while helping someone.

On days when Joss sees the Boy Scout and the low self-esteem working in tandem before John leaves home, she worries, all day. And like last night or rather this morning when she turned over and wrapped her arm around John, rested her head on his mostly bear chest so she could listen to his strong and courageous heart, she could finally breathe a sigh of relief that God had brought him home to her safely one more time. Now she could sleep peacefully. He was by her side where he belonged.

Joss knows unequivocally that John is a good man and she is a blessed woman to have him in her life. She thanks God for her husband, literally, every day. She prays for Him to protect John and the team whenever he walks out the door whether it be evening, noon or the butt crack of dawn, and throughout the day. Thanks Him every time she hears John's voice on the phone and when he walks and even sometimes crawls through their door. Joss has learned to be very grateful and appreciative of and for what she has been blessed with. Chief among her many blessings is her ex CIA assassin/husband/idiot/pain in the butt/vigilant/over protective/savior of her and her child, her partner and beloved/love of her life and soul, John Reese.

She thinks back to when she had finally gotten conformation about how he felt for her. The night he kissed her in the morgue while they were trying to get Quinn to the Feds and his words had blatantly told her what her intuition and her own feelings had been screaming at her for about the last 8 months. Her heart soared after that kiss and it gave her a sense that they were in this together. They could face it all, even the hundreds of cops waiting to kill them outside the morgue to free Quinn. Five minutes later her heart had plunged from the lofty heights it had just achieved to lodge in her throat and choke her breath. John had sent her on a fool's errand to search other rooms in the morgue for possible weapons so she wouldn't see him escape through the ceiling ducts to act as a distraction for the waiting cops outside. As she had pleaded with him through the locked door not to sacrifice himself for her, he left her near tears on the other side of that same door listening to his fading footsteps carrying him to what she feared was his death. But they did escape and she turned Quinn over to the Feds. She was overjoyed that she didn't have to realize John's last words whispered through that door, "See you on the other side".

Joss didn't really believe in most of the mushy romantic things from chick flix or bodice ripper books. But she had finally found "the one" that seemed to make her a better woman, a better person. What would she become if she lost him? She was so afraid that night and angry with John after he had duped her in the morgue and left her behind so she could get Quinn to the Feds. She had been terrified when she knew what John was trying to do, but relieved he wasn't there to see her fear for him. If John lost his life over helping her with Quinn that night she probably would have shot Quinn dead on the spot. John's asinine attempt to keep her safe made her realize and face the depth of feelings she had for him. That she would kill Quinn because of John was a revelation and a frightening feeling all rolled into one. When it was all said and done with Quinn, John had been shot but he was ok. They were ok and starting something new and exciting between them.

That is until that dog Simmons had stepped out of the shadows later the next evening and nearly stole everything with two bullets into John and one into Joss' chest. Joss involuntarily shivered as thoughts of how close both her John's death had been that night. John had been critically injured as well. But according to Finch as soon as John was able to crawl from his bed without keeling over he came to her and never left her side until she regained consciousness. Joss smiles when she thinks about her vigilante sitting and tightly holding her hand. She can sometimes still feel his large hand surrounding and enfolding her smaller one. Some days she swears she can still see his finger impressions imbedded on her skin even though that was almost two years ago.

And that's how it was with them now. John had become so imbedded in her that even if they went their separate ways she'd never be rid of him. But they would never go their separate ways. He was stuck with her now just like he had told her she was stuck with him through the morgue door and so many times and ways even before that night. So, every chance she got she would work on John to let him know that he was worth everything she had and she would gladly go through anything and give up everything for him including her life if it came down to that again.

When he called her two days ago sounding all shy and uncertain on the phone, her first reaction was to ask John were he needed her to be and she'd get there ASAP. He just laughed that honey dripping deep laugh that made Joss' body go oooooohhhhh and her mind and feelings run rampant through her. The laugh made her realize he wasn't in danger or needed her help so she took a deep breath to bring the adrenalin down and to help get the feelings under control.

"Uhm, Detective, you sound out of breath, was it something I said?" John fairly purred at Joss.

He called her Detective in that voice when he wanted something. The something he usually wanted when he sounded like that Joss was not in any position to give him at that moment. The thought brought a smile to her face. She knew that John knew, when he called her "Detective" in that tone of voice, what it did to her. He gave a small chuckle and Joss was sure he was just messing with her because she was at work.

"John what do you want?" she said instead of answering his question. "I am at work, as if you didn't know."

"I just wanted to see if your calendar was clear this Thursday night." And John's purr continues. "I'm going to need your help with something and no, neither Shaw nor Fusco can help me out."

Joss didn't really have any plans for Thursday other than waiting up for him to come home. They had been apart more often than not this past month. She really wanted to spend some alone time with him even if it was only 5 or so hours and all they did was fall asleep in each other's arms. Any time with him would leave a day long smile on her face. She loved getting to know John Reese and she cherished all of the time she could spend doing that.

Joss agreed to help him out and to be where ever he needed her. But when she asked John what she should wear and how she should be strapped, he hesitated. He actually hemmed and hawed before the words tumbled out of his mouth.

"uummm, ahhhh, uh well, uuummmmmm you're gonna' need to uuhh get dressed up and you won't need to carry."