Okay, I just somehow got this stupid idea when I was taking shower xD In OP world they depend quite a lot on these poor animals so how is it from the point of view of one of them? It's supposed to be funny but my kind of humor is quite dry so... ^^"

I don't own OP, Oda-san does

The life of a snail

You thought snail's life is easy?

The only time of my life which was nice and peaceful was about two weeks after my birth. Then I became old enough to serve human's purposes in this strange world.

Well, after those two weeks of my life, my peace was shattered; okay, in this stage of life, it wasn't so hard yet – they just began calling me with some strange code and ‚baby denden mushi' to it. No idea what it supposed to mean.

Then I lived for some time in one store with others like me. We chated quite often, about how was our life before or what greenery did we prefer. Then I was bought.

Some people were always carrying me somewhere with them but I usually didn't know where as I was hidden in their clothes. Most often I was carried by this reeeeaaally hot chick and men, it was heaven! She didn't like to wear clothes with pockets so she always hid me in her decolletage! I almost couldn't work normally and had to be even hospitalized once for a big blood loss!

My heaven ended once I grew too much; I was sent to some workshop and was upgraded. First I thought it will be fun to have a receiver attached to me. This thought was swept away as I got into a office and began working at my best.

There was lots of calls. I was doing „bururub" all the time and couldn't get enough of my precious sleep! Were those humans stupid or what? Couldn't they phone someone else or at least at some snailer time?

Soon I was overstressed as well as overworked ‚cause of it. I thought my life was over now when they didn't have any use of me. I was prepared for being thrown to the wild life again or maybe even worse! They could make food of me! But nothing like that; for as those humans are stupid, they can be quite ... well, humane too. They promised me almost heaven's blue just to stay with them. They said I'll get nice silvery coating and that it's very wellpaid job in which work is really seldom. I agreed.

So now I have a long mustache, silver shell and I keep waiting for some work in this dim place. Not long ago, I had some work, I got a signal from this young golden fellow of mine. From what I heard then, those guys refering to themself as Marines destroyed an isle called Enies Lobby. I hope none of my relatives was there.

Well but I shouldn't complain – I get my favourite greenery every day, sometimes they even offer me some drink and I feel quite dizzy after drinking it. And what's best, those guys often read some perverted magazines in front of me so that I can get nice pictures of it too! Hehe. But I often get a nosebleed from it -_-"

About the world snailer - well, if someone is calling at late hour we (at least my family) say "Who's calling at this inhuman time?" But this story is from snail's point of view so instead of why don't they call at some more human time, the snail wants to know why don't they call at snailer time. I hope it's understandable ^^