P.S. Ten points to whoever knows where I got the title without googling it :)
Anti-Pleasure Dissertation
Chapter One
"Sex just complicates everything." Sara says loudly, stealing a glance at my across the small living room, disguising her telltale movements with a hearty swig of Moosehead. "It would be better to just cut it out completely." The whole group roars with laughter at Sara's statement.
"I cannot believe you of all people just said that!" Ted laughs.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Sara demands, sounding offended, but smiling broadly. I raise an eyebrow, making sure Sara sees. I look around the room, full of our most trusted friends. Ted, Emy, Sarah, Krista, Hesta and of course Lindsey all sit sprawled out on the floor of my living room. We'd all decided to come together to celebrate the end of months of successful touring and documentary screenings.
"You know exactly what it means." I say. "Everyone in this room knows you couldn't make it a week without sex."
"Oh, come on-" Sara begins to protest.
"Sara. Let's be honest here." Lindsey laughs, squeezing Sara's knee lightly. "We all know you too well to buy that."
"I was trying to make a point, though." Sara says, brushing away Lindsey's hand impatiently. "I was just saying that- theoretically- sex causes so much drama and makes life difficult. Wouldn't it be better if we didn't throw ourselves in the path of it?"
"I still can't believe Sara Quin, the ladykiller among us is saying this." Hesta says with mock amazement around a heart swig of her own beer. More laughter ripples through the group in riotous waves.
"I disagree with you Sara." I say. The laughter quiets down a bit.
"Gee, no one saw that one coming.." Lindsey mutters beside me sarcastically. I gently elbow her in the ribs, making her squirm and grin at me.
"Hear, hear! Tegan's picking a fight with Sara." Emy laughs.
"Yeah, get your cameras out guys"
"Catfight!"
"Can't we all just 'Get Along'?"
"My money's on Sara."
"Hey!" say jokingly at the teasing of my friends. "I just wanted to say that I think Sara is wrong. So wrong." I drawl, stealing a glance at my sister, who is leaning back in her chair looking amused. I decided to wipe that smug little smirk off of her face. "Sex is a wonderful thing. We all need it. Especially because without it, Sara turns into a grumpy bitch." Everyone giggles uneasily, warily eyeing Sara. I dodge to the left just in time as Sara chucks her empty beer bottle at my head. It thumps down on the couch between Lindsey and I.
"What the fuck, Sara?" I say, rising from my defensive ducking position. Sara's shaking in her chair, laughing like a maniac and clutching her belly. The group joins in. Pouting, I pick up the bottle and put it on the floor beside the coffee table, well out of my sister's deadly reach.
"I think I have more self control than all of you think." Sara says calmly, reaching for an unopened beer from the cardboard carton.
"Says the woman who just chucked a beer bottle at my head!" I cry in outrage.
"Oh, I meant concerning sex. There's no way anyone could keep their cool with a sister as annoying as Tegan."
"Excuse m-" I begin, my voice nothing but a high pitched squeak.
"I wasn't finished." Sara says. "Not only can I go without sex for any length of time for any reason, but I can also outlast you."
"Yeah right."
"Your self control wasn't so great last night, was it? I think we all heard you and Lindsey from all the way out here."
"Well...that's not...people sleeping...it was..." I trail off, blushing and nervously laughing as the room erupts in barely restrained giggles. Lindsey rubs my shoulder consolingly, but I don't feel much comfort as she is laughing as hard as everyone else. Another round of beers from the pack is passed around the circle. "I'm not the one making wild claims of self control. I'm not the one on trial here." I say with a wry grin, cracking open what I plan on being my last beer for the night.
"I'll prove it. I bet you all I can go a month without sex. At least!"
"As much as we all want to see you lose, Sara, we don't want to kill you." Krista says.
"Or have you kill us!" Shaun agrees loudly. The group throws around drunken ideas around the messy circle like a group of children playing hot potato.
"I think two weeks is more, like, reasonable."
"There have to be rules, though."
"No cumming...umm...what else?"
"No lying!"
"No touching yourself either."
"Okay, okay, okay!" Sara cries, interrupting the obscene brainstorm session. "I will agree to your terms. Two weeks. No sex...well...no cumming at least. And when I win?"
"When we win, you've got our breakdown duty for the first month of our next tour." I say immediately. The room hushes- this is where Sara's commitment to the bet is truly tested. Everyone hates breakdown duty after a concert, packing away instruments or merch and loading everything into the vans. Sara taking on merch and instrument breakdown would be absolute hell, even with roadies helping. To my surprise, she nods.
"And in the likely event that I prove every single one of you wrong, I demand free vending machine runs from each and every one of you on our next tour. At my beck and call. No questions asked." A collective groan runs through the group. "Take it or leave it, bitches" Sara says.
"Fine. We'll just have to see how much your brain can obey your body after the first week." I say with an evil smirk, stretching out my hand to shake Sara's, cementing the legitimacy of the wager. Sara solemnly shakes the hand of everyone in turn.
As everyone cleans up empty bottles and heads out to catch the last Sky Train home, I begin to come up with a plan to subvert Sara's stubborn nature in the event that she can actually last two weeks. Knowing from personal experience that high sex drive is one of the many physical things that Sara and I share, I doubt her ability to keep up her end of the deal. But why not speed things up? I smile to myself as I climb into bed with Lindsey, slipping behind her and kissing her neck. Why not give Sara a show to spice things up, since she seems to love listening.
"Mmm...baby not tonight. I'm too drunk." Lindsey slurs. She snuggles into our customary spooning position and is promptly sleeping. Oh well...I'll just have to move onto plan b in the morning.
I wake up earlier than I have since our tour ended. Lindsey has already woken up and is probably off to an early morning shoot. I swear, everyone around me is an early riser and seemingly immune to hangover symptoms, while I'd rather stay sprawled out in my bed for a few extra hours. This morning, however, there is work to be done. I roll out of bed, not bothering to brush my disheveled hair or put on a bra underneath my pajamas- a plain black beater and underwear. I know already where Sara will be; the same place she always spends her mornings while staying with me in Vancouver- my balcony with her coffee and copy of the New Yorker. I walk to the sliding glass doors and peek out, spying Sara leaning over the balcony railing, steaming coffee in hand.
"Shit you scared me." Sara gasps, whipping around as I slide open the doors. I smile, and she turns her back to me again, looking down into the courtyard below. I shiver in the early morning chill as I walk slowly towards my sister. My arms wrap around her waist, starling her again. My lips find her neck and I press my breasts against her back, nothing but two thin layers of fabric separating our skin.
"Tegan what the-?"
"Shh.." I interrupt softly in her ear, kissing gently behind it- a soft spot I've known about for years. Sara gives a soft whimper, but turns her head away.
"Tegan...mmm no. We're outdoors. What if someone sees?" I let one hand curl against her waist and the other explore her braless chest through her oversized t-shirt.
"Come one baby." I croon. "We've got the whole place to ourselves. Don't you want me?" I ask softly, brushing the pads of my thumbs over her nipples through her shirt; something that has always driven her up the wall. Sara's free hand grips the railing, and I feel the rattle in her breath as she bites back a moan. "Say yes for me Sara." I implore, dipping my hand down beneath the loose waistband of her old jeans and beneath her underwear, tracing around the edges of her pussy. She's already soaking wet. I'm beginning to wonder if she remembers the bet she made last night or if she just doesn't care. Either way, the whimpering, pleading moan coming from Sara's lips makes me shiver with pleasure and anticipation.
"Yes...Uuhhhn...wait..." Sara grabs my wrist and yanks it out of her pants before whipping around to face me. "I know exactly what you're trying to do. How stupid do you think I am?"
"Well you let me get pretty far before you came to your senses." I say smugly, scanning up and down Sara's now disheveled form, admiring my own handiwork. To my surprise, Sara lets out a cold laugh and walks past me for the door.
"You are too easy to fool Tegan. I'll be in the shower." I pivot slowly to watch her return inside, shocked at her attitude. If I'm going to break Sara, I'm going to have to step it up a notch...or two. Quickly forming a Plan C in my mind, I head for the bathroom, opening the door slowly so it doesn't creak or give me away. Luckily Sara is singing Rihanna at the top of her lungs in the shower so she's blissfully unaware of my presence. I roll my eyes at my sister's strange but predictable habits. Under cover of the quickly gathering steam, I strip off my clothes and let them drop to the floor next to Sara's
"You can stand under my umbrella-ella-ella...ay-TEGAN WHAT THE FUCK?!" Sara doesn't bother to cover herself, but stands shocked, glaring at my shit-eating grin.
"Just making sure you don't cheat." I snicker. "While I'm here let me get your back." Before Sara can protest, I spin her around and pour a dollop of body wash in my hands, running them along my sister's back and shoulders, digging my nails in as I bring them down. The marks turn white against her flushed skin as she lets her head fall back. I step in front of my sister and press her against the tiled shower wall, pressing my thigh between her legs and pressing our breasts together. I stare into her hooded eyes for a moment before biting and suckling her neck in all the right spots. Despite all of the bravado earlier, I know she's dying to get off. The physical evidence seeps onto my thigh only to be washed away by the cascading water.
"Tegan- Fuck, please..." Sara groans, gripping my forearms and trying to move against my leg. In a second flat, I remove all contact from my sister, leaving her panting and wet against the wall.
"Suddenly you want to come so badly?" I sneer. Sara's breath is still coming heavily, so I take advantage of her momentary silence while I can. I lean close to her without giving her the contact she needs. "You're not going to come until I say you can. Who knows how long I'll make you wait? Maybe an hour, maybe just a day short of two weeks." Sara whimpers loudly, my words seeming to arouse her further instead of pissing her off like they're meant to. I mask my surprise with a laugh. "Maybe you'll think twice the next time you challenge me. And you'd better not cheat. Trust me, I'll know, and I'll be forced to punish you." I snap, watching the effect on Sara as she presses her legs together and curls her fingers against the wall. Searching her face, I see it ridden with lust, her brow knitted, eyes hanf closed, and mouth open and cycling air in and out at an alarming rate. Satisfied, I step out of the shower, suddenly letting my grin break free. I wrap myself in a towel and leave the bathroom to lay on my bed. I know I've won this battle, if not the war. All I know is, it's going to be a long two weeks for Sara, especially now that I know about this new, unexpected side of her. This will certainly be interesting...