My cell phone rang at the same time that I heard the horn blaring from below on Elm Street, right outside my dorm room window.
"Rose, can you grab that?" I yelled as I ran down the hallway to grab my cosmetics caddy from the bathroom.
Rose rolled off her bed, walked out of her room and into mine, and then picked up my phone from my desk. "Hello? . . OK. She'll be right there."
Rose handed me the phone as I dashed back into my room to shove the cosmetics into my duffle bag. "It was your cabby. He's outside," she said as she moved out of my way.
"I know he's outside. Jeez. I hear him honking. Did you tell him I'll be right there?" I asked as I shoved my iPod into my bag and grabbed my jacket, before spinning to look around the room for anything I forgot. It did not take long to peruse the space. The room was about 12 feet long and 8 feet wide – probably the size of your average master bedroom walk-in closet. It just barely fit my bed, desk, chair and dresser. But I had it all to myself, which was more than I could say for some of my fellow freshmen.
"Have fun at the football game," Rose said as she watched me lock my door. From her bed, she could see right into my room. Her room was almost as tiny as mine, but she also had it to herself. I turned to run down the hallway toward the suite's door when she caught my eye. "Oh yeah, enjoy the booty call, too," she sang with arched eyebrows and a smirk.
"Jacob is not a booty call," I answered with a frown. "Well, not entirely," I admitted with a grin. "See you on Sunday." And with that I flew down the hall and out our suite door, down the steps and out of one of the entryways of our dorm, Durfee.
After a quick jog past the rest of Durfee's entryways and then out of Old Campus through the Elm Street gate, I was on the sidewalk, waving to the impatient cabby. He looked seriously annoyed; he was blocking a lane of traffic on Elm Street and drawing the considerable ire of the cars that got stuck behind him. Despite cutting right through Yale's campus, Elm Street had a pretty heavy traffic flow, so the cabby wasted little time getting me in the back and taking off toward the New Haven train station. I glanced at my watch; I still had 10 minutes to catch my train to Providence.
In 1 hour and 45 minutes I would be with Jake. I felt a surge of excitement in the pit of my stomach. And a bit of anxiety. Would it be the same? We had only been dating for a few weeks when I left for Yale. Would it be awkward and weird? I mean, we'd known each other for 2 years now, but we'd only been a couple for such a short time. And there was the whole issue with my best friend Jessica . . . . Then I thought about the CD he had sent me my first week at school – all our favorite songs, plus a few sappy love songs. Yeah, he was crazy about me. It would be fine.
I paid the cabby, dashed through the terminal, and made it on to the train with about two minutes to spare. I was panting from the run and the weight of the duffle. Why did college textbooks have to be so heavy? I found an unoccupied row on the train, threw my stuff on to the seat by the window and plopped myself down with a huge exhale. OK, less than 2 hours to wait. I popped my earbuds in, picked the Jacob mix on my iPod, and pulled out an art history textbook. I did not plan to waste a lot of time studying up at Brown, so I figured I had better get the week's reading done while I had the chance.
As the train pulled out of New Haven, I glanced out the window. The leaves are so gorgeous in New England in the fall. I can't wait for them to begin to turn. . . having seasons is one nice thing about living in the Northeast . . . too bad it is so damn cold so much of the year. And cloudy . . . I wonder why it is so frequently overcast in the Northeast . . . something to do with the Atlantic? . . . I guess can see the appeal that University of Miami has for Jessica. But it still gets cloudy in Miami . . . if you want to avoid the clouds, you really need to go to L.A. It is hot and sunny there all the time, I think. A slight change in the train's speed caused my textbook to slide on my lap. Focus, I reminded myself. This is not daydream time! I grabbed my favorite yellow highlighter and got to work.
The sound of screeching brakes announced our arrival in Providence station. I bolted upright. Had I dozed off? The music on my iPod had switched to a random playlist and there was long yellow line to nowhere on my textbook. Oops! Lucky thing the train's arrival was so loud!
I grabbed my duffle bag and stood in the aisle with the rest of the passengers. My heart started to pound and my stomach flipped over – god, I was nervous to see Jacob. This is ridiculous – it will be fine. No, it will be great. We will be just like normal, just like we were before I left for Yale. So what that I haven't seen him in 20 days. It just seems like forever.
I took some deep breaths as I followed the crowd into the tunnels. I pictured Jacob standing by a bench, his dark brown eyes staring at each passenger that came through the door to see if it was me. Maybe he would push his hand through his nearly black hair while he waited. I imagined running my fingers through his hair and felt a different kind of tightening in my abdomen.
I went up the stairs that led to the main waiting area of the station and glanced around looking for Jacob. I quickly scanned the faces of the people scattered on the wooden benches and standing by the ticket windows and snack stand, but none were familiar. Could he be late? That would be so out of character. Oh God. What if Jake isn't here? What if he has changed his mind, come to his senses? I felt the panic starting to break out and my heart took off again.
Suddenly, I felt hands on my shoulders and I was being spun around, stopping face to face with a huge grin. "Bella!" he shouted with joy as he grabbed my bag and leaned in to give me a giant hug and a kiss. Then he pulled back and looked into my eyes. "You cannot imagine how thrilled I am to see you. I've been sitting here for the last hour going crazy waiting for your train."
"I'm not late, am I?" I asked as I turned to look around the station for a clock.
"No, silly, you are right on time. I just couldn't wait any longer to see you. And I was driving Embry crazy, pacing around and talking to myself. So he kicked me out and told me to wait for you here," he explained with a goofy grin on his face.
I loved that smile. He is really as excited to see me as I am to see him. Oh, thank God. My panic was groundless, as usual. I leaned in for the kiss that I knew was coming, and he planted a big juicy wet one on my lips as I smiled. It is going to be a great weekend.
He led me through the train station and out to the mostly empty parking lot. As we approached his motorcycle, I saw the helmet that he had bought for me just over a month ago. The bike was old, and it kind of scared me, but he had restored the thing himself and he was so ridiculously proud of it. And, when I wasn't worrying about dying, it was exhilarating to ride on the back of a motorcycle with my arms wrapped around Jake's torso.
"Where do I put the bag?" I asked as I climbed on to the back of the seat.
He grinned at me and shrugged. "I didn't realize you would have so much stuff for just a weekend. I guess I'll just throw it over my shoulder. It's a really short ride to campus." I couldn't see his face as he finished, but I knew he was rolling his eyes at the amount that I had packed.
We made it to his dorm in less than five minutes and parked in a student lot. As soon as we were off the bike, he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me against him. I leaned my shoulder into his chest and let him guide me toward his building. His body felt as good as I'd remembered. He was a good bit taller than me and lean, with almost no fat over his muscles, courtesy of almost daily five mile runs. "Tell me everything. I want to hear about your roommates, I mean suitemates you lucky dog, your classes, what activities you've joined, how you've decorated your room, how the food is . . ." he trailed off. Jacob knew the last one was a bit of a touchy subject, and he glanced at me with a nervous, concerned look.
"You know all this stuff. I talk to you almost every day. And that's in addition to the emails and texts. You know my suitemates' names, and what classes I'm taking, and that the only thing on my walls is the Twilight poster that you gave me. And you know the food is fine, Jacob," I snapped. He gave me a knowing look and I immediately regretted the tone of my voice. "Really," I said more softly, "the food is great. And I'm eating it."
"Really?" he asked, pointedly.
"Yes," I answered, giving him my best 'this-conversation-is-now-over' look. "Why are you asking me about things you already know?"
"I don't know. I guess hearing it on the phone is not the same. I can't see your face and see what you really mean," he said as glanced at me. Then he took his hand off my back and dug into his pocket for his keys. "Here it is," he said dramatically as he opened his dorm room door and he waved his hand in an arc. "The pinnacle of comfort and neatness for your visiting pleasure," he said sarcastically as I took in the piles of clothing and junk all over the room.
"Maybe you should've spent the extra hour cleaning," I suggested. Jacob just smiled, tossed my stuff on his floor, picked me up and plopped me down on his unmade bed. My lips began to form an "oh" when he started kissing me like he hadn't seen me in year. Suddenly, I couldn't concentrate on anything but his tongue and lips and hands against my face. Yeah, this is going to be a great weekend.
. . . . . .
Embry announced his return to the room with a few thundering knocks on the door and some loud coughing. When he finally walked into the room, he made a big show of averting his eyes and covering his ears. Jacob and I snickered.
"Embry, you can drop the act and look our way," Jacob said with a laugh.
Embry glanced over at us as he slowly lowered his hands. He arranged his face into an exaggerated look of disgust when he saw Jacob and I fully clothed and snuggled together on top of his bed, reading from our respective textbooks.
"This is the dramatic reunion? This is why I had to go to the library and hit on freshman – I mean, study -- to give you some privacy? I expected to find you in bed, but not like that," Embry said with mock disappointment.
Jacob looked up at his roommate and best friend and gave him a huge grin. "Embry, I'd like to introduce you to my girlfriend, Bella. Bella, this is Embry."
My insides did a little flip. I know it shouldn't matter, but hearing Jacob call me his girlfriend still gave me a weird thrill. And made me feel a bit embarrassed. "It's nice to meet you, Embry," I said as I climbed off the bed and went to shake his hand. But before I could get my hand out he wrapped me in great big hug and gave me a peck on the cheek.
The shocked look on my face was enough to break Embry and Jacob into hysterics. After a second or two, I started to laugh too.
Embry managed to spit out, "nice to meet you, too," before cracking himself up again. "So, what are we doing tonight?"
"What do you mean by 'we'?" asked Jacob.
"Oh, come on, you aren't going to spend the whole weekend alone, are you? That would be so lame," Embry replied as he flopped on to his bed on the other side of the room. "There's a party down the hall tonight in Leah and Rachel's room. Everyone on the floor is going to go."
"That sounds great," I said.
Jacob looked at me cautiously. "You sure you want to go to some hall party tonight? Because it is totally OK if you want to do something else."
"No, really, I want to meet your friends and get to know them. I love parties," I said with a silly smile.
"Seriously, it will be awesome," Embry chimed in. "Leah's got some hook up for the beer and Rachel is buying four bags of Doritos. What else do you need?"
"Right. What else?" Jacob said sarcastically. "Well, maybe Bella and I will grab some dinner and then come over, OK?" Jacob added, eyeing me with concern. I knew what was on his mind. Me getting drunk, then eating junk food, then getting all guilt ridden and weepy. Or worse.
"Are you going to sneak her into the dining hall?" Embry asked. "I'm sure we can find someone's ID card for Bella to use."
"Thanks. I already arranged to borrow Rachel's," Jacob explained, giving me a grin. He really thought of everything.
"Alright," Embry said. "Want to hit the Ratty around 6pm?"
"Sounds perfect," Jacob answered. "Bells, you want to go for a run around campus? It is really pretty here in the fall."
"I would love to. I've been on my ass all day, between the train ride and your bed," I smiled.
"Well, it is a nice ass to be on," Jacob cracked as Embry made lewd noises and rocked his hips. "Always the gentleman, Em," Jacob said as he rolled his eyes. I just laughed and reached into my bag to grab my sneakers.
Jacob led me all over Brown's campus, narrating as we ran. He kept to my slower pace, so he could talk as much as he wanted, but I tended toward one or two word comments. Not that I was winded; I just couldn't find it in myself to really listen to his stories about the various buildings and fields and streets. Instead, my mind wandered over the events this summer that led to this jog.
. . . . . . . .
I can't fucking believe it! I raged over and over as I ran around the high school track, trying to drown out my feelings in sweat and exhaustion. Jessica is dating Tyler, again! That guy is such an asshole and he going to totally fuck her up, just like last time. During the pause in my music, I heard the loud thump, thump, thump of my sneakers pounding against the ground. And, she'll probably totally ditch me like she did when she dated him two years ago. Summer of hell. I rounded the bend and tried to sprint down the straightaway. And when he dumps her she'll come crawling to me all distraught and needy and I won't be able to say "told you so" because I've done more stupid, self destructive things than anyone. I stabbed at my shuffle to skip the next song. Stupid "Crazy in Love." Fuck you Beyonce and fuck JayZ and your freakin' romance. I hate love. "Cleaning out my Closet" by Eminem came up next. That is more like it.
I started mile 3, panting from pushing myself to run too fast in the heat. It was 4pm on an unusually warm June day and the temperature was still in the high 80s. Great, maybe I'll pass out. One more thing for me to get the sympathy vote for.
Suddenly, I heard a voice over my music and internal monologue. "Bella? What are you doing here? You run?" Jacob Black asked.
Great. Fucking Jessica's fucking ex-boyfriend. Just what I need. "Hey, Jake," I panted as I slowed down and came to a stop in front of him. "When did you get home from Brown?" I asked. Everyone was coming home from freshman year of college. All except for me. I was still here, just like when they all left in the fall.
"I got home about two weeks ago," he replied in an offhand way. "Are you OK? You look kind of wiped out Bella," he said with that hint of concern in his voice that almost everyone had when they spoke to me. Well, anyone who knew.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I said with less anger than I wanted – apparently I hadn't caught my breath yet enough to convey "bug off." I picked up my bottle of water and took a swig. "You?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, too," he said, starting to walk away. Then he turned to me. "I'm sorry. I am so fucking pissed right now, I can't really have a civil conversation. I'm going to start running before I explode." And with that, he took off.
Jacob was fast. Wow. He made my running look like an old lady out for a pleasure walk. I mean, most people ran faster and more gracefully than me, but still, this was pretty amazing to watch.
After he ran his first mile in about 6 minutes, he slowed down. "Do you want to do a few laps with me? I can run at your pace," he said with a smile.
Sure, what the hell. I would probably have to concentrate so hard on running at his 'slow' speed that I wouldn't have time to stew about Jessica, at least for 10 minutes. "OK," I said. "But just so you know, I'm only running like this because I'm really mad. I don't normally do eight minute miles, or anything," I said as I started to jog next to him.
"I couldn't care less about your pace so long as you don't trip me," he said with a grin. "I'm not out here to train. I'm just trying to keep myself from calling Jessica and yelling at her."
I stopped dead on the track, causing Jake to suddenly turn around and run back to me. "You are running because of Jessica, too?" I asked incredulously. "You heard about Tyler? Who told you? Wait, do you still have feelings for her?" I asked sympathetically.
Jacob started running again and I followed. When I caught up to him, he started talking. "Do I still have feelings for Jessica? No, not at all. Well, not feelings like I'd want to date her. But I do care about her and I could smack her head into a wall for deciding to hook up with Tyler again. He cheated on her, like, the whole time they were together before. And I guess it made me mad to think that after me she would date such a scumbag," he acknowledged.
"I was here cursing her, too," I confessed with a look of surprise on my face. "She totally ditched me the last time she and Tyler were a couple. Apparently, his friends didn't like me, so I got cut loose," I said bitterly. "She apologized after it was all over, but I'm sure the same thing will happen this summer." Then I shook my head and tried to look less angry. "How funny that we both came here to run Jessica out of our minds!"
"Did it work for you, yet?" Jacob asked.
"Not really. Now I feel hot, sweaty, exhausted and royally pissed off!" I laughed.
"Then let's quit after this next mile and clean up and see if we can think of something else to do to channel our anger," he said, as if we had been good friends that hung out together for years, rather than people who only spent time together in Jessica's presence, up until this moment.
And everything had spiraled from there. First we were meeting for runs followed by warm soda. Then we were making plans to go to movies. Then we drove to the beach together one day and it was pretty clear to everyone else that we had passed from good friends to the brink of something more. Of course, we had totally lost interest in the Jessica issue – we were grateful for the distraction Tyler provided so she couldn't see how close we were becoming. By early August, it was pretty much official – I was dating my best friend's ex-boyfriend. What a cliché. We did ask her permission before he kissed me the first time - as mad as I had been at the start of the summer, I couldn't stand to hurt Jessica. When she gave us her blessing, it was like opening the flood gates. We packed an entire summer's worth of dates and fooling around into the three weeks left until we went to college.
. . . . . . .
"Bella, hello," Jacob said as he waved a hand in front of my face. "Hey, we're back at my dorm. Do you want to keep running? That was only 3 miles," he said with a smile.
"Sure, OK . . um, what?" I replied with a guilty smile. Jacob arched an eyebrow at me. "OK, I wasn't paying attention. Actually, I was thinking about our first run and how this all got started, " I admitted. "What did you ask me?"
Jacob laughed and pulled me close him, looking into my eyes. He gently grabbed a strand of my hair that had escaped my ponytail and pushed it behind my ear with his thumb. Then he placed his fingers under my chin and lifted my lips up to his, kissing me softly. I melted into him and wrapped my arms around his neck. Yum. Thank you Jessica.
"Let's head back inside and get clean," Jacob murmured. "Not that I don't like you all warm and sweaty," he breathed in my ear, "but certain roommates get very surly when their dinner is delayed," he finished with a laugh.