The following is a recording from the office of Dr. James Talbert. They are actual therapy sessions with the subject "Crazy Tom". They have not been modified in anyway, except to censor certain points for language and that which cannot be distinguished from the tape.

Session #1

Talbert: Hello Tom, it's nice to have you in today. How are you?

Tom: Fine, but I'd prefer if you called me Crazy Tom

Talbert: um, why's that exactly

Tom: It makes me feel like I belong here talking to you

Talbert: Oh, that's a common misconception. The people I meet with are just as likely to need someone to talk with as to have mental issues. Even then, seeking help is nothing to be ashamed of.

Tom: I agree, that's why I'd prefer you call me Crazy Tom, because I'm not ashamed.

Talbert: uh…Your mother tells me, you haven't been adjusting well to civilian life.

Tom: I see

Talbert: What can you tell me about this?

[Both parties sit in silence]

Tom: Oh! Were you talking to me?

Talbert: [exasperated] Tom, please, this is childish

Tom: [in mock sincerity] who are you talking to?

Talbert: Fine, Crazy Tom.

Tom: Thanks for indulging me, while I do agree it is childish, everyone from my mother to my Sunday school teacher has been urging me to act more like child and less like a soldier.

Talbert: you find that difficult

Tom: It's not as if I just stop being a soldier

Talbert: well it's not as if you were really fighting anyone up there in Battle school, it was all just games wasn't it.

Tom: That's all war isn't it? A game with infinite stakes where the winner makes rules.

Talbert: That seems to me to be a rather light view of war

Tom: No it's cynical

Talbert: How so?

Tom: Politicians are all just playing games when they fight war, they don't feel its effects or go hungry. They're just moving pieces on the chessboard and even if you're a pawn, with your life staked on the game, it's still a game, even if you can't enjoy it.

Talbert: but you won't let go of being a soldier

Tom: have you ever had a battle school patient?

Talbert: no I have not

Tom: if you ever have one after me, know this; we don't stop being soldiers, ever.

Talbert: Soldiers come home all the time Tom, you're home now.

Tom: ….

Talbert: Tom?

Tom: …It's Crazy Tom actually

Talbert: Some might see that as disrespectful

Tom: yes, I see and how does that make you feel?

Talbert: Well for starters, it makes me a little frustrated.

Tom: um hum, go on.

Talbert: Wait a minute… I see what you're doing!

Tom: Took ya long enough.

Talbert: I think its best if we end today's session there.

Tom: see ya Doc, and remember the names Crazy Tom, That's C…R…A

Talbert: I know how to spell, thanks though crazy Tom.

[Crazy Tom leaves the office]

Talbert: [sighs] that one's going to be a handful

End of Session 1