DISCLAIMER:I DO NOT OWN THE AKATSUKI,JASHIN,OR CHUCK NORRIS. Naruto is copywrited material by Masashi Kishimoto.

However, all the OC's are mine. Completely mine.

"Rape is the greatest kind of sex," Hidan always said. "Jashin loves suffering, and sex is greatly important to our religion, so rape is highly approved of"

Searching for his next victim, Hidan walks down a large village avenue. He spots a small alley with two people talking. He hastily hid behind a dumpster by the dark aisle, waiting for something to happen.

He hears yelling*, and ducks lower to the sound of footsteps striding towards him. They quickly come and pass, and that confused horny Jashinist we all love (or hate 0_0) stands up and heads toward the figure still in the alley. As he gets closer, Hidan notices this figure is a slender girl, tall, but not as tall as his towering frame, with shaggy hair. It's too dark to see her hair or eye color, and she's looking down so it's hard to see her face.

"Hey, you bitch," Hidan said demandingly, "look up."

The woman stood there, remaining in her silent state, looking at their feet. Hidan growled impatiently and bored a hole through her skull watching and waiting for her first move. He gasped inwardly, noticing on her head lie a pair of ears---animal ears.

Shaking that weird image out of his head, he yelled at her once again.

"Look at me, you worthless piece of shit!" He smacked her upside the head. The damsel stared up at him, blank expression on her face.

Hidan loved it when his targets squirmed and tried to get away. This just made him angry. He knocked her down and kicked her in the stomach.

"What's your name," Hidan slowly said.

"It's not like you care," she flatly stated, quickly lifting her arm to block a deafening blow to her head. She tried to stand up again, but pitifully, in anguish, Hidan smacked her down and got down on one knee to reach her level.

"You, my lovely little smart-ass, are going to enjoy some shitloads of fucking to finish your life." He smirked mercilessly.

"What's that supposed to mean." The woman tried not to look scared, but on the inside, was burning with fear and frustration. Her hand trembled, lowering from her head she sat up a little; her elbow supporting her torso, her legs one-over-another stretched out.

Hidan let out a howl of laughter, tilting his head to the sky. "First, I'm gonna fuck you inside out. If you're not dead of exhaustion," Hidan sucked in his breath, "I'll beat you to death."

It was the woman's turn to laugh. She didn't tell him, but hopefully he'd leave her alone if she acted. "You ignorant fuck, I'm immortal!" She did her best to sound confident, and for a moment, she believed that her little lie was true, because Hidan's eyes got wide and he paused for a second. But her hope faded to defeat when 5 little words creeped from the rapist's mouth:

"Well, we'll see about that."

Hidan skillfully lifted her up and carried the woman away, chuckling, along with noticing that got her to kick and flail her arms around. He quickly got annoyed at her sad attempt to escape, so he put her in a sleeper hold* and carried her away even further to a public bathroom.

In the dim light, Hidan noticed the girl had bleach blonde hair, with blue tint on the tips, and pale skin. He locked the bathroom entrance, first making sure nobody was already in there. He took another glance at this woman, and she had glasses, and…a necklace.

Hidan did a double take at this, and the necklace matched his Jashinist one, except for one thing. This necklace was old and tarnished, colored red at age. Surely she's not an exceptional follower of Lord Jashin-sama. He'll take this as a decent sacrifice. Hidan thought over the situation.

Then the girl woke up. Fluttering her eyes open, Hidan saw she had glowing ash mauve* eyes, with a dark scarlet outline in the iris. Hidan smirked slyly as she noticed they were in a stall, and she had passed out. She helplessly blinked, and backed as far away from him as she could before hitting the porcelain toilet behind her. She stumbled on it, and sat uncomfortably.

"Now I have you," Hidan cackled, removing his cloak, and throwing it over the wall. He reached for the woman, she rarely fought back.

"Sir, I can't help…but ask…why me?" The girl blinked. "I mean, you could've just picked up some hooker with a rack plenty bigger than these. And, I see you're Jashinist…He wouldn't approve of you killing a fellow follower." She seemed to have proven a point, since all of this was indeed true. She faintly smiled, and closed her eyes, praying she can just leave.

"I'm guessing you're a virgin."

"Wh-WHAT??" The girl was flustered with this, blushing madly with embarrassment.

"Hah, told you so. Just the way you talked showed you've never fucked a guy. Well you should be lucky, considering I'm sparing your life." Hidan cut the conversation and told her to undress.

"Well you aren't necessarily raping me if I'm doing something to," She laughed.

"Just shut up and get naked," Hidan ordered, oddly laughing, noticing he just made a new friend.

"…But I'm still going rough as hell on you."

"Sure, I don't give a fuck…this flesh life is just a shell…"

Suddenly, Hidan was getting less willing. Damn. He thought, I sure hope Jashin Sama will make an exception for what I'm about to do.

"Stop," He made clear.

"Uh, okay?" Asoya said, "I hadn't even done anything yet…" Hidan looked around nervously, feeling like a fucktard for backing out of that.

"Wait a minute…Are you an Akatsuki?" Asoya asked.

"What of it. They're a bunch of dickheads either way," Hidan coldly stated.

"I've heard of a few of those dickheads…" Asoya drifted.

"Really?"

"Yeah, Hoshigake Kisame's from here."

"So I'm in the Mist Village?"

"Yup. I'm here to visit my niece. Y'know, and do some site-seeing…"

"Hey, I guess I got to leave, or that Leader sonofabitch will be angry-he doesn't know I snuck out."

Asoya laughed. "Oh okay then. Bye." Hidan backed away awkwardly, opening the stall door. They both got outside and were saying bye before Hidan was on his way.

"Wait."

"What?"

"You never told me your name…"

"Oh. It's Hidan."

"Well nice to meet-chya, Hidan."

And Hidan jumped into the trees and disappeared.

A/N---when Hidan hears yelling, its like…fighting yelling, not screaming-yelling or nything.

And Hidan missed his chance for some hot action, no one-shots here!

Wait for later chapters… Oh yes, the title is actually a quote, and this quote makes a lot of since-this story will never end! Every Monday and Thursday I'll have a chapter up, and possibly I could squeeze another sooner~~~