'I'm pregnant Noah,' Rachel bawled into the phone.
'I'm on my way babe, hold tight. I love you so much; we'll figure this all out, okay?'
'Okay, I love you too.'
She hung up the phone and curled back into her ball of self-pity. She knew that Noah would take care of her. She had fallen head over heels for the boy and he had surprised her with the amount of passion and devotion he had for her. They had been secretly dating for a few months now. He had wanted to be open with it since the get go but she was afraid of the drama it would cause in Glee club. She had promised him that they would admit their feelings for each other the previous week but she had been convinced she had a stomach bug and had postponed it. Unfortunately, that 'stomach flu' is now a child growing inside of her tummy and it scared the hell out of her. Her life was crashing around her but Noah would make it all better, he always did. She squeezed the tears out of her blurry eyes and flipped open her phone. She had lost ten minutes with her hysteria. She sighed, got up and looked out her window. She was surprised that Noah wasn't there yet, he always sped and it only took five minutes to get to her house from his. She slumped down in her computer chair and decided to start Googling information about pregnancy to pass the time. She had gone through over ten different sites, each of which scared her more and more. As her tears began to fall again her phone began to ring. Where it began… I can't begin to know and…
It was Noah so she answered it quickly; desperate to find out if he was on his way.
'N-Noah, where are you?'
'I'm sorry, my name is Justin. I'm a paramedic with Lima Regional Hospital. Mr. Puckerman was in a serious accident and we are on our way to the hospital right now. You were listed as his only emergency contact.'
'Oh God, is he okay?' she shrieked.
'It's hard to tell at this point ma'am. He has suffered extensive head trauma but further tests are necessary.'
'I'll be right there.'
She grabbed her keys and purse off of her computer desk and ran downstairs. She passed her fathers and ignored their concern as she slammed the door behind her. She fumbled with her seatbelt, her eyes too watery to see the buckle. She squeezed her eyes again to empty them and pulled out of her driveway. Her heart fell out of her chest when she turned off her street onto Main. Sitting mangled in the middle of the street was Noah's faded gray Chevy. There was another car sitting there in a similar condition but she could care less. His driver door was open and she could see shattered glass covering the interior, the steering wheel was hanging by wires, but what bothered her most was the blood. She had to grab the empty slushy cup from the passenger floorboard quickly before she threw up all over her car. She closed her eyes to try and regain her composure but all she saw was the blood, his blood. It was on the steering wheel, his seat, and there was even a stain on the ground. Despite the cops in the area, she chunked her vomit filled cup out her window and continued on her way to the hospital. She had to get to him. She had to see him.
Luckily Lima, Ohio isn't a big town and she got to the hospital quickly. She ran to the Emergency Room receptionist desk desperate for information.
'I n-need to s-see Noah Elijah Puckerman.' She said between sobs to the portly older woman behind the desk.
'Oh dear, are you referring to Sarah's son? Poor boy, he looked so bad when he came in.' The woman shook her head looking at her desk. When she finally looked up she saw the damage her words had caused in the poor girl. Rachel's face had lost all of its color and her entire body was shaking.
'Honey, I'm so sorry I said that. So very sorry dear; no one is allowed in right now, he's in surgery but Sarah is sitting right over there in the corner.' The receptionist pointed. Rachel couldn't bring herself to speak. She simply nodded her head and walked away towards her Noah's mother.
She had known the Puckerman's for years now and after she began to date Noah she saw them on a regular basis. Sarah had taken on the mother role Rachel needed and had been her rock every time Noah screwed up, which was quite often in the beginning. Rachel walked slowly towards the crying woman who in her eyes had always been the strongest person she knew.
'S-Sarah' Rachel choked. Sarah looked up at the young girl. The look in his mother's eyes finally broke Rachel completely. They were filled with so much pain and worry, Rachel could see loss in them and it brought her to her knees.
'P-please tell me he's going to be okay Sarah. Please tell me that my Noah is not going to leave me!' she screamed into her hands. She felt Sarah's hands wrap around her and help her back to her feet. She placed the crying girl in a chair and knelt in front of her.
She pulled Rachel's hands from her face, 'Sweetie,' she choked, 'Noah is in a c-coma. He had extensive head damage and they d-don't know when or… or if, he'll wake up.' Sarah cried.
'No, no, no, no, no! He has to wake up Mamah, he has to!' she screamed.
'I know, tokhter, he called me on his way to y-your house. I know about the baby.' She smiled weakly. This just made Rachel cry harder. She was convinced it was all her fault that Noah was lying unconscious in a coma. If she had just waited for their date tonight, he would have gone unscathed. Sarah pulled Rachel out of the seat, sat down, and pulled her onto her lap. She rubbed small circles on her back to try and calm her. It reminded Rachel of the way Noah held her every time she was upset. Slowly her sobs quieted into a steady stream of tears. Noah will wake up, he wouldn't leave me now. He loves me too much to leave me…
Both ladies were startled when the doctor cleared his throat, making his presence known.
'I'm sorry to disturb you both, but Mr. Puckerman is stable and out of the OR. You can go see him now. I do want to again inform you that despite our best efforts Ms. Puckerman, your son is still in a coma. There is no way for us to know if he will ever regain consciousness. One of our nurses would be glad to take you to his room whenever you're ready.' The tall man said, nodding slightly before he walked away. Rachel slowly lifted herself off of Sarah's lap and they both walked in silence to find an available nurse. They walked into his room and it was Sarah's turn to break down. Rachel had seemed to pass into the numb phase and could only stare at the man she loved, hooked up to millions of tubes, listening to the steady sound of his heart monitor. She scanned over him, trying to find the source of his comatose state. She knew it was futile, it was all internal, but she couldn't help herself. He looked so peaceful and fragile laying there, bruises forming on his perfect face. She would have given anything in that moment to see his sparkling green eyes open, to feel the warmth of his arms, or the softness of his lips against hers. She needed those things more than she ever thought possible, she needed him. Not just to take care of her and their unborn child, but so that she could hear his laughter and feel his fingers holding tightly to hers. She needed to hear his voice as he sang her to sleep and she needed to him to tell her everything would be okay. Her tears returned but were silent this time. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. She slowly moved her chair closer to the bed, gently laying her head in his unmoving hand.
'I love you my Noah, I love you so much' she whispered.
She didn't know how much time had passed, nor did she care. She simply laid there. It wasn't until her phone vibrated in her pocket that she realized her world hadn't ended. She slowly lifted her head, let go of her hold on his body, and walked out of the room.
'Hello' she said answering the call. Her voice was low and gravelly due to all of the crying she had done.
'Rachel, where are you?' she heard her dad ask, 'We've been worried sick about you! Do you even know what time it is?' Her dad yelled through the phone.
'Dad, Noah's in a coma.' Once the words left her mouth she hung up the phone and returned to her spot. She glanced at the clock and noticed it was 11pm but it meant nothing to her. She laid her head back down in Noah's hand and ignored the rest of the calls she received.
Rachel didn't remember falling asleep. She woke up groggily to the sound of harsh whispers.
'What do you mean she's pregnant Sarah?' Hiram said angrily.
'You keep your voice down Hiram, it has been a terrible time for Rachel. She just found out yesterday and N-Noah was on his way to her to help her figure everything out. Your poor daughter has been through enough.'
'You're right, it's just a shock.' David Berry stated.
'You didn't think it was a shock for the three of US? I'll take care of Rachel, make sure she goes back to school when she can, make sure she eats, and gets out of this room. I'll keep you posted as to how she is doing, but I think it is better if you both just leave us be.'
'We understand Sarah, if you or Rachel need ANYTHING, call me.' David said as her dads left the room.
'I know you're awake Rachel and I'm sorry you had to hear that.'
'Thank you Sarah.' She replied quietly and returned to her silent, unmoving state.
The days past slowly for the pregnant girl; only interrupted by her incessant need to vomit and the orders to go home and shower periodically. There was no change in her Noah by the time Sunday evening rolled around.
'Rachel, you need to go to school tomorrow. Go to the house, get some sleep, and come back here tomorrow afternoon.' Sarah said sternly.
'I c-can't leave him for that long Sarah.' Rachel cried.
'I didn't give you an option honey. You can come back as soon as Glee is over but I need you to go to school. He would be very upset if he found out you were missing it.
For the first time in her life, Rachel Berry was speechless. She grabbed her car keys, gave Noah a kiss on his pale forehead and left. She knew that if she thought about what she was doing, she would never make it to the Puckerman home so she drove, trying to avoid any true thoughts. It only took ten minutes to get to the house so she slowly got out and walked in. She had been there often throughout the week for quick showers or power naps but today it felt different.
She still had not spoken to her fathers so she didn't have any extra clothes. She had a few articles that had been left there over time but they had been used. She walked upstairs into Noah's room and ruffled through his closet. She found an old worn t-shirt to use for bed. She took a quick shower, pulled on the clothes and climbed into his bed. The moment her head hit his pillow she began to break down again. The smell of him had overwhelmed her. There was no sterile undertones, no coppery hint, just Noah. She didn't sleep at all, just held herself and cried for the majority of the night. When her morning sickness hit her at 6 o'clock, she decided to just get ready for the day. She pulled on a pair of jeans she had left a while back and realized they were already getting snug. She sighed and reached for her favorite of Noah's shirts. It was a faded black t-shirt that had Sweet Caroline written in white script with 'Bah Bah Bah' in red beneath it. She was swimming in it but it didn't matter. She could care less how she looked. She tied her hair in a sloppy bun at the top of her head, threw on a pair of her black flats and headed downstairs. She had eaten here and there over the past week but she just couldn't seem to find her appetite. She walked into the kitchen hoping to find something she could take with her. She noticed the answering machine on the counter had two messages so she played them. The first nearly killed her.
'Hey Ma, it's me Noah. I'm on my way to Rachel's because she really needs me so I called Ms. Hanover to come watch munchkin. Mom, I'm going to be a daddy! I know you will be disappointed, but I got to tell you Ma, I'm really happy about it. Okay, so I'm going to try and call your cell, love ya!'
She quickly saved the message and then proceeded to throw up in the sink. She couldn't breathe; she couldn't think… Noah was happy. He wanted their baby. She smiled through her pain at the thought of them being a family. The second message startled her out of her thoughts.
'This message is for Noah Puckerman. This is Andy from Wes Jewelers; your ring has arrived and can be picked up at your earliest convenience. Payment has been accepted so all you will need to bring is this confirmation number: 756349. Thank you for choosing Wes Jewelers.'
She wrote down the confirmation number and ran out the door. The store opened at 7am which was really convenient. The bell chimed as she walked through the front door.
'Welcome to Wes, is there something I can help you with ma'am?' a pretty blonde asked.
'Yes, I have an order to pick up, confirmation number 756349.' Rachel replied.
'Oh! The ring for Mr. Puckerman! You must be the lucky lady! He told me he was going to wait until the summer and propose on your birthday. He must have gotten anxious, I had a feeling he would, he was too excited.' The blonde rambled. Rachel smiled sadly. Of course, the clerk noticed. 'Is everything okay? You don't seem as excited as he explained you would be.'
'H-he's in a coma.' Her eyes filled with tears. 'I checked his answering machine and heard the message that was left.'
'Oh no, I'm so very sorry. Here,' she said reaching down for the little box and handed it to Rachel, 'he had it custom made for you. You are one lucky woman. Mr. Puckerman loves you very much.'
Rachel opened the gold box and couldn't help but fall apart… again. The ring was beautiful; it was silver with a large star shaped diamond in the middle and three diamonds to the right that gradually decreased in size. It was a shooting star. She carefully removed the ring from the box and twirled it in her fingers. She noticed an inscription engraved on the inside.
Forever and ever 3 your Noah
Her poor hands were shaking as she slipped the ring on her finger. It fit perfectly but she knew it would. Noah knew everything about her. She thanked the clerk and headed back to her car.
She arrived at the school just in time for first period. She grabbed her books and headed to the English class. Rachel had been dreading it because it was just one of the five classes she shared with her… fiancé. She kept her head down as she walked into the classroom and made it to her desk. She had to avoid seeing his desk, seeing his desk without him. Ten minutes later she was still holding strong. She opened her notebook to take notes but a folded piece of paper caught her attention. Before she realized what she was doing, she had opened the note and read it. A large sob escaped her and she got up and ran from the room. Mike Chang new that Rachel Berry did not under any circumstances break down like that in front of people. Even when people were cruel to her, she would hold her head high and wait until she was away from everyone to let even a single tear fall. He bolted after her, knowing she needed someone to care. He found her curled against the wall shaking with sobs. He knelt down and pulled her into his arms.
'What's wrong Rachel?' he asked, trying to sooth her.
'N-Noah' was all she could say between gasps.
'We all miss him Rachel' he was really confused. I mean, the whole club had a hard time hearing the news but no one had this kind of reaction. Before he knew it she was shoving a crinkled note into his hands. He opened it behind her back.
Dear Rachel Berry,
I simply wanted to tell you how much I love you. I love your laugh, your smile, the way your nose crinkles when I say something inappropriate. I love the way your voice surprises me every time I hear it, the way your eyes light up when you see me and the way your kisses taste after a long day at school. I'm so proud to have you as my girlfriend and I can't imagine a day in my life without you in it.
Love, your Noah XOXO
'I'm so sorry Rach, I had no idea.' Mike whispered.
'No one d-does and it's all my fault,' she sobbed. 'I'm pregnant Michael.'
'Fuck Rach.' He didn't know what else to say so he just sat there rocking her back and forth. Once her tears ended he helped her up and walked her back into class. It was then that he noticed she was wearing his shirt. For some reason it got to him and his own tears started to fall. Luckily no one asked any questions. They just let the two have their time.
Rachel spent the rest of the day in a haze. She barely registered anything anyone said to her. She spent her lunch hour crying in their secret spot but avoided any reminders the rest of the day. Mike caught up with her walking to Glee. He didn't say a word, just walked with her. Mr. Shue had been told of Rachel's situation so he gave her a small hello and continued preparing for the day's assignment. He walked out of the room and the harassment started immediately.
'Where the hell have you been Treasure Trail? And why are you wearing Puckerman's shirt? That's so fucked!' Santana yelled. Rachel pulled her legs up, wrapped her arms around her legs and laid her head on her knees in an attempt to ignore the words.
'Really Man-Hands, what's wrong with you? You miss school for a week and show up in his clothes! He's nothing to you Rachel Berry! Nothing!' Quinn yelled. Mr. Shue walked in and the angry Glee clubbers went quiet.
'Does anyone have anything to perform today?' Rachel silently raised her hand.
'Come on up Rachel.'
'I know that y-you guys don't understand what's going on and it's my fault, but I really need to do this.' She stated staring at her feet. The music started and Rachel had to hold back the tears that were already threatening to fall.
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
The tears she was hiding fell as she put every emotion she had into the song.
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
Her whole body was shaking as she belted the chorus.
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
As the song ended she fell to the floor. Mike and Finn jumped up and ran down to her. They both helped her up and she curled into Mike again. Finn helped Mike walk her out of the classroom.
'Mike, what's going on? Rach are you okay?' Mike just shook his head at Finn, not wanting to tell him her secret. Rachel turned toward her ex-boyfriend.
'Finn, m-me and N-Noah have b-been dating for months. I'm pregnant and n-now he's in the c-coma. I d-don't know w-what to do!' She saw the anger flicker through his eyes for just a moment, and then it turned into pity.
'I'm so sorry Rachel. You don't deserve this. He'll be okay, you hear me. He may be an ass sometimes but he wouldn't leave you, not now.' Finn wiped the tears from her face and helped Mike get her up. They each grabbed one of her hands and led her back into the choir room. Mr. Shue, of course, had gotten a call and excused himself from the room.
'So really Rachel, you need to explain what the hell that was all about. I'm his baby momma,' Quinn said getting teary eyed, 'and even I haven't reacted like that. Don't lie to us, we know something is up.'
'F-fine, Noah and I have been seeing each other for months. We fell in love and he even bought this ring to propose to me on my birthday.' She said holding up her shooting star engagement ring. 'I found out that day that I am pregnant. I called him and told him; he was on his way to my house.' She ended in a whisper. No one said a word. They all just stared in silence at the tiny girl being steadied by the two football players. It felt like eternity before someone broke the silence.
'No wonder you're all fucked up, that sucks Rach.' Santana stated first. 'I truly am sorry that I called you out earlier, it's just a huge shock.'
'Was Puck too embarrassed to be seen with you RuPaul? Is that why you guys kept this a secret? Or is it another way for you to get attention?'
'Fuck you Quinn Fabray!' Rachel screamed shocking everyone yet again. 'It was all my fault you guys didn't know! I didn't want to deal with all of the drama I knew you and Finn would cause!' she yelled and felt Finn fidget next to her. He thought about saying something but knew better. She was right. He would have punched the shit out of Puck and Quinn would have thrown a giant fit.
'I saw a note that Puck wrote Rachel. He loved the hell out of her and if you aren't going to give Rachel the respect and sympathy she deserves than you need to keep your mouths shut' Mike added. No one spoke after that. Once Rachel regained her composure she walked to retrieve her backpack and left. She knew there was an assignment but she couldn't be in there for a minute longer. She had to get back to Noah. As she walked down the hallway she heard footsteps behind her. She turned to see who it was and was surprised to see Lauren following her.
'Berry hold up!' the girl yelled down the hall. Rachel stopped; more out of shock than anything else. The girl had never approached her before and she was afraid why she was choosing now to do it.
'Yes Lauren?'
'I just wanted to let you know that Santana and I have your back. Don't worry about anything anyone else says. If they bother you, you tell San or I and we'll take care of the problem; got it?'
'Y-yes I got it; thank you Lauren.'
'No problem Berry, just make sure and tell him that he needs to wake up or I'll take his spot as the Badass of McKinley.' She joked giving Rachel a reason to smile. Rachel turned and headed to the hospital.
'How was school today?' Sarah asked as Rachel came in.
'Terrible actually; I'm not going back.'
'Rachel Berry you will be going back, you hear me?' Sarah said getting upset. 'I'm not going to let you give up. Now, you need to go to room 251, Dr. Samuel is waiting for you. He is your new OB and you need to make sure that my grandbaby is healthy. Go. Now.' Noah had always told her that Sarah could be a beast and she now understood. She got up and headed to the other room. She was surprised to see the doctor waiting for her.
'Hello Miss Berry, I'm Dr. Samuels. Sarah told me about your situation and I know that you want to get back to your boyfriend so we will make this as quick as possible. If you'll please lie down and lift your shirt, I'll go ahead and do the sonogram first. We'll run blood tests later this week.' She nodded and followed his instructions. He squirted the cold blue gel on her stomach and ran the wand over her belly. Tears fell down her face when she realized she was doing this alone. It had been her biggest fear when she found out she was pregnant and now it was even worse due to Noah's condition. She was startled out of her thoughts by a fast paced pattering sound. She opened her eyes and could see odd shapes on the black and white screen.
'Miss Berry, I know that you've had a lot of shocking news lately but I have a bit more for you.' She nodded for him to continue, scared at what he was going to say. 'You are pregnant with twins Rachel.' She gasped. 'I understand how surprising this must be for a young mother like yourself, not to mention the situation you are in with Noah. Now, judging by the information Sarah gave us your due date will be February 6th. Unfortunately, I have to leave now, but I will see you on Friday at this same time to run the blood work.' He pushed buttons on the machine and ended up handing Rachel multiple copies of the sonogram and a DVD. 'We don't want Noah to miss anything, do we?' he winked and walked out.
'Thank you.' She whispered as he left the room. She walked back to Noah's room and barely made it through the door before she was sick.
It was Valentine's Day. Rachel was still on maternity leave from school, still trying to convince Sarah to let her take the rest of the school year off. She decorated Noah's hospital room with glittery hearts and 'I love Puckerman's.'
It still broke her heart that Noah was in the coma but her two tiny new babies had kept her relatively distracted. She welcomed Caroline Rani Puckerman and Noah Ezri Puckerman into the world on January 30. It was a bittersweet time for Sarah and Rachel. The babies were beautiful but it was hard to not have Noah there to experience it. Her dads had come by to see the children once or twice but remained distant. Santana and Lauren had become her life supports throughout the trying pregnancy and of course were given the roles of Godmothers to the infants.
Linny (Caroline) started to cry as Rachel hung the last of the decorations. She picked the tiny baby up and gently rocked her back to sleep. As she laid her back down Sarah came through the door with two large cups of coffee and a box of chocolate muffins.
'Wow Rach, you did an amazing job in here. It's beautiful.' She beamed. 'Now, I need to see my grandbabies!' As Sarah went to admire the twins, Rachel walked over to Noah.
'Happy Valentine's Day Noah.' She whispered, kissing him gently on the forehead. A tear ran down her face as she began to sing him their song…
Where it began, I can't begin to know when
But then I know it's growing strong
Oh, wasn't the spring, whooo
And spring became the summer
Who'd believe you'd come along
Hands, touching hands, reaching out
Touching me, touching you
Oh, sweet Caroline
Good times never seem so good
I've been inclined to believe it never would
And now I, I look at the night, whooo
And it don't seem so lonely
We fill it up with only two, oh
And when I hurt
Hurting runs off my shoulder
How can I hurt when holding you
Oh, one, touching one, reaching out
Touching me, touching you
Oh, sweet Caroline
Good times never seem so good
Oh I've been inclined to believe it never would
Ohhh, sweet Caroline, good times never seem so good
As she finished the song she had to do a double take.
'Noah!' she cried as she saw his eyes fluttering open.
'Rach?' he croaked. She immediately grabbed a cup and filled it with water. Her hands were shaking so badly she spilled half of it on her way back to him. Her eyes were pouring tears as she made him drink.
'What's going on?' he asked tiredly.
'Oh Noah,' she cried hugging him. 'You were in an accident on the way to my house.'
'I remember I think. I had just hung up with Ma and then I remember hearing screeching tires. Then it all goes black. How long have I been out? Did I miss any school?' Rachel began sobbing. He slowly and carefully pulled his arms around her. 'I'm sorry I scared you baby.' He soothed.
'N-Noah, its Valentine's Day.' His eyes went huge when he realized what that meant.
'You mean… I've been out for eight months?'
'I'm so sorry Noah, y-yes.'
'But… does that mean that you're not pregnant anymore?' he scowled in confusion.
'No baby… I'm not pregnant anymore.' She gave him a watery smile and walked over to Sarah. She was bawling her eyes out but couldn't bear to interrupt the couple. Rachel smiled widely at her and went for the two little bundles.
'T-twins Rach? These are our babies?' he asked, his own eyes filling with tears.
She nodded her head, 'I'd like to introduce you to Caroline Rani, and Noah Ezri. Babies, this is your daddy.' She smiled and placed them in Noah's awaiting arms.
'They're so beautiful Rach.' He beamed.
They all sat there in silence, soaking up the moment they were afraid would never come.