Just a quick bunny (that morphed into the longest chapter I have written!) and came about from a line in Robst's excellent Can't Have it Both Ways.
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WARNING!! VERY, VERY DARK! DISTURBING SCENE BELOW!!
Before the flames start about no H/Hr, please read the A/N at the end.
In the slightly modified words of Sergeant Schultz from Hogan's Heroes (which I also don't own):
"I own nothing, I hear nothing, I see nothing, I know nothing! Nothing!"
Peter was a mediocre wizard, he knew it, his friends had known it, and the master had been all too willing to take advantage of this.
The master had offered to show him power beyond imagining and to give him his heart's desire, and he had willingly betrayed the only people who had ever truly cared for him. It had led to him being chased down in the streets of London by an enraged Sirius Black, and resorting to lopping off a finger, and killing a dozen or so Muggles to escape.
He had managed to find a wizarding family to live with for a time, but that had ended up as years he would have gladly rather spent in hell.
Percy was actually an alright chap for the most part. Well except for the whole masturbating to technical specification manuals.
But at least he didn't subject him to the horrors the younger ones did. He shivered at the experiments the two monsters had subjected him to. Ron was a nightmare as well. He had nearly had his tail bitten off once when he had gotten too close to his food, trying to steal a bite. The little bastard would even eat his food from his cage at times. Of course, Peter had decided to get even, and would hide a small measure of food, and leave his droppings mixed in with the pellets.
But the worst? That would be the little Harry Potter-obsessed girl. Ginny was a few years away from boiling someone's pet rabbits for stew, or becoming the next Bellatrix of her generation. The thought of her dressing him up in those damnable "Official Harry Potter Wedding Robes" again made his eye twitch uncontrollably. At least he had managed to get out of there before puberty truly kicked in.
It wasn't a great life, but at least it had been somewhat safe. He even had gotten to go back to Hogwarts as Ron's pet until Sirius had found him. It had been a bittersweet experience to say the least. Roaming the halls again brought back fond memories of his more carefree days as a Marauder. The four of them had been the rulers of the castle, with no real consequences to their actions.
FLASHBACK
Unfortunately, time moved on, and after their graduation, everyone else had moved on. James had married Lily, and become one of the top up and coming Aurors. Sirius was cutting a swath through the single witches, and was James' partner and wingman. James had quickly learned that a married, successful wizard was like gold to a niffler for most witches. So he would redirect the women to Sirius, or in some cases Remus. Never Wormtail of course! Remus was busy in academia, researching and studying a cure for lycanthropy with the financial backing of the Potter family.
Peter? Well, it seems like all his time tagging along, and pranking instead of studying had not helped his future prospects. He had managed to get an entry level position in the Ministry, but it had been pure drudge work. The days of mischief and respect were over for Peter. He still saw James and Sirius on occasion in the halls, but it was always a "Let's grab lunch sometime!", as the two were headed somewhere more important. Granted, Lily made sure he came over at least every other week to spend time with the group and have a meal, but it was nothing like the glory days at Hogwarts.
Life had become a day to day grind, monotonous and utterly forgettable. If he didn't write the day of the week in his underwear, he would probably not even remember what day it was. Everything had changed that fateful Sunday though. Sirius and James had pulled him into the library at James' Godric's Hollow home and had an urgent, whispered conversation with him. Lily was pregnant, and James wanted to make sure they would be protected. The Potter's were going to cast the Fidelius charm to hide from that mad dark wizard. Just the thought of that monster made Peter's bowels quiver. Sirius wanted to make sure that no one would learn the secret, and had put Peter forth as the secret keeper. In a backhanded compliment, he had logically pointed out how safe and nonthreatening Peter was. How Sirius was in the line of fire, and a high profile target to be captured and the secret tortured out of him. No one would think mild mannered Peter Pettigrew was the keeper of the most important secret in the Wizarding World!
Peter had agreed, willing to do anything to become important and feel the thrill of days past. Of course, the problem with being a secret-keeper, was that you couldn't tell anyone. Took the thrill right out of things. A few years makes people forget, but Peter was the reason most of the Marauders' pranks were found out. He had the tendency to mumble to himself when he was distracted, and especially when he had anything stronger than a butterbeer in him. So when Lucius Malfoy had been flitting about the Ministry glad handing and greasing the wheels of Pureblood Supremacy, and had overheard Peter's grumblings over his lunch and firewhiskey chaser. Lucius was willing to do anything to secure more favor with his master, and had decided to use one of the oldest tricks in the book to gain information. He had forced Narcissa to seduce Peter. As an adult virgin, Peter was quite simply putty in the talented Narcissa's hands. After a week of torrid lovemaking, he was willing to do almost anything to keep the attention of Narcissa. They told each other everything, their dreams and desires, how Lucius was a boy loving fop, and she was miserable. Peter spoke of his frustration, and how he knew he was meant for greater things. He hinted at the important role he was playing in the war, and the stealth and secrecy required of him. She had tried to get the secret from him, going so far as to offer to leave Lucius, but he had actually managed to resist. He knew he would be dooming his friends if he gave up the secret. So he had sacrificed, and lost the attention of Narcissa.
Time passed, and Peter slowly began to resent James. James had wealth, a beautiful wife, and power and prestige. Once Harry was born, Peter could barely stand to be around his former friends. James was such a preening fool, bragging about his heir, and how he would be a star Quidditch player. Sirius was the godfather of course, even though Peter was the one sacrificing for the child. He had just seen Lucius and Narcissa the other day, Lucius in his normal full strut and preen, and Narcissa, glowing and gravid with child. Lucius had barely given him the time of day, merely and angry sneer, as he shoved Peter into the wall, belittling his heritage and stature as he passed him in the hall. Narcissa, beautiful Narcissa, had looked at him with such sorrow, and glistening eyes, as she shook her head and mouthed an apology for her peacock of a husband.
Damn James! If only he had chosen Sirius as the keeper of the secret, Narcissa would be his, and the child she had borne would have continued the proud Pettigrew line.
After seeing Narcissa and her newborn son, Peter could not bear to be near Harry or his old friends. He became more and more of a recluse, merely working and surviving. Until one fateful night, everything changed forever. Working alone late one night on a project, Peter's nose was buried in a ledger. He heard the floorboard creak as someone entered the room. Blearily, Peter lifted his head from the drudge work and blinked, trying to determine who was there. Clad in a hooded black robe, a figure moved slowly towards his desk. Peter saw a flash of silver and knew he was done for. Curse Sirius and James! They had dragged him into another mess, and this one looked to be his death. He groped for his wand, trying to be subtle. Hoping to at least get one spell off before his death, he tightened his hand on the grip of the wand.
"P..Peter?" came the voice of an angel. Narcissa threw back the hood of her cloak as she rushed into his arms. She sobbed piteously as she trembled. Peter was dumbfounded. Narcissa had come to him? What was going on? He stroked her hair, and placed a comforting hand on her back as he tried to sooth her. "Cissy, is Draco alright? What is going on? What are you doing here? If Lucius finds you missing," babbled Peter, trying to arrange his thoughts.
"Lucius isn't the problem Peter. It's the Dark Lord. He wants to make a sacrifice of a newborn child, and Lucius has offered up my child as a way to gain favor. The Dark Lord will take the soul of my child as a way to strengthen himself, and prevent the possibility of his defeat! I can't let him do this, I have to protect my child, I need your help Peter!" sobbed a distraught Narcissa.
Peter was shocked. What kind of monster would kill an innocent babe? Even worse, how could Lucius allow for the death of his own heir. Peter knew he could not allow the woman he loved to suffer the loss of her child. He would take her to Dumbledore, and he could protect both Narcissa and her child. Perhaps they could be hidden under the Fidelius as well. Of course, that would allow them the protection from even the Dark Lord himself!
"Don't worry Cissy, I'll take you to Dumbledore, he will protect both of you from those monsters! I won't let them harm you or Draco! I'll..." blustered a furious Peter, scrambling about the office to gather his things.
"Peter, stop, Peter, Peter! You don't understand. Lucius pledged his service to the Dark Lord and has taken the mark! He used the marriage contract to force me to obey him, and I bear it as well. The only reason I am able to come here is..." whispered a visibly distraught Narcissa.
"What? That bastard forced you to take the mark! But, wait, maybe Dumbledore can remove the mark..." muttered Peter.
"No, I know he tried to remove the mark from Severus and was unable to. The only reason Severus was not driven mad by the call from the Dark Lord is that he knows Severus is his spy in the Order. I am doomed Peter. But with your help, we can save our child." whispered Narcissa.
"What! Severus is a spy for the Dark Lord...wait...did you say? Cissy? Our child? But. How? How did this happen?" sputtered Peter.
Narcissa snorted, "Well when a wizard and a witch..."
"Cissy, be serious, I thought that..." Peter groused.
"I can't be serious, that's my cousin, and I thought he would have answered any of your questions about how this could have occurred!" giggled an obviously overwhelmed Narcissa.
"Ha! Hardly, more like 12 ways to prevent it from happening, more likely. But, I thought Lucius was the father! He was strutting around like he owned the ministry handing out enchanted cigars when Draco was born! Bragging to everyone how he had fathered such a strong heir." said Peter.
"Well, besides being as bent as that silly cane he carries around, it turns out that the Malfoy line has intermixed one too many times. He is unable to reproduce. Draco is your child Peter. That is how I am able to get around his orders and that damnable contract to meet you here tonight. I have a plan, and it will allow the three of us to be together. You have to help us Peter. Draco is your heir, and I love you, Peter!" whispered a fiercely determined Narcissa.
"What can we do Cissy? You bear the mark, and you said yourself that you can't disobey the Dark Lord. How can we hide you away?" questioned a confused Peter.
"We won't hide Peter. The Dark Lord only needs an infant for the sacrifice. If we gave him a different child, he would reward us both greatly and would allow us to be together." explained Narcissa.
"What about Lucius?" asked Peter, trying to stall for time, and make sure there were no holes in the plan. He was horrified at the thought of killing an innocent child, but to protect his own son? A son he had not even known existed, or even held? Well, better some anonymous Muggle child than his own after all.
"Lucius always goes along with the Dark Lord on the important missions. The monster enjoys the death and suffering it seems. James and Lily are strong wizards, they will easily take him out of the picture. Then you can take the place of Lucius, as the hand of the Dark Lord. He will greatly reward you for delivering the child of one of his strongest enemies Peter! I will be yours, and we can raise Draco and his siblings together." pleaded Narcissa.
"James and Lily? You mean to sacrifice Harry? But I can't, they are my friends and Harry is such a sweet little boy! I can't Cissy! I can't doom them all, they trust me!" whined Peter.
"Then what of our child Peter? What of our love? What of me? Is Harry Potter more important than your own flesh and blood? Than my love? Are you really that much of fool for Dumbledore and his "greater good"? Don't look at me like that! You know damn good and well what he does to people! The great Chess Master on high, deciding all of Wizardkind's fate arbitrarily, whatever best fits his damnable schemes! That monster is the very one that suggested the marriage contract to the Malfoy family! He sees us as all as a great experiment, and arranges things behind the scene, forcing his will on us all! Would you willingly forgo your own happiness, and the safety of your child just to stay on the so called "Light Side"? What have they done for you Peter? You are stuck in a dead end job in this horrid little office, doing drudge work, meant for the lowest of the mudbloods! I am offering you myself, our child, power and a future! Choose Peter! Choose wisely! Do you want to continue blindly following the old fool, or do you want to be all that you were meant to be at my side with our child!? Choose me or go to hell down the road paved with good intentions!" berated an enraged Narcissa.
"I...fine. I will do whatever it takes to protect you my love. Both you and my child mean everything to me. Take me to our Lord, and I will protect you both. Nothing else matters." said a broken Peter. He knew he was dooming James, Lily, and especially poor little Harry. But as he had learned from the Great Albus Dumbledore himself, sacrifices must be made.
With the decision made, things had quickly come to a head. He had taken the mark, and given up his soul to protect his child. The Dark Lord had cackled upon learning that Draco was actually the child of meek little Peter Pettigrew, but in exchange for the secret of the Potter's hiding place, had agreed to allow Draco to live. He had even magnanimously promised to destroy Lucius himself if he lived through the attack.
Peter led the attacking party to Godric's Hollow, and given the secret to the Dark Lord himself. He then apparated away to be with Narcissa, leaving a sneering Lucius in the company of the rest of the Death Eaters. He had become violently ill, and seemed to feel it in his very soul when the Dark Lord crossed the wards that he himself had helped to establish. He had left, not wanting Narcissa or Draco to see his weakness or tears. He missed her falling to the floor, as the Dark Mark burned, and then rapidly faded.
Sirius had found him, half drunk, and wishing he had never desired more for himself than to be a lowly clerk. A fierce battle had broken out, and Peter had managed to escape, forcing himself to cut off his own finger, and framing Sirius for the betrayal. In the celebration, he had been lost and forgotten in the fracas, and returned to find a whole Lucius and Narcissa laughing at the subterfuge they had played on the foolish Pettigrew. So he had wandered aimlessly, and broken hearted, before being found in a field by Percy Weasley.
It was a miserable existence, but far better the life of a rat, than to end up dead like James and Lily, or in Azkaban like Sirius. He had no desire to end his own life, knowing he would have to face the judgment of his former friends either. At least he could see and be near his child, seeing the resemblance in both mannerism and facial structure. He was no heroic Gryffindor, far better he learn the art of cunning to prevent him ending up like his failure of a father. So he had plodded along, watching and hiding, until Sirius had escaped, and come to Hogwarts looking for revenge. He managed to escape him, as well as the devil half kneazle of the bushy haired girl, until finally he was caught and taken to the former clubhouse of the Marauders. The Shrieking Shack, where most of their mischief and adventures had been concocted.
He had been given the opportunity to redeem himself by the very boy he had wronged. The other marauders looked ready to turn him into a stuffed wall mount, and Harry had interceded. He was so like James, always willing to see the best in almost everyone. If only that greasy hook nosed bastard hadn't burst in and ruined everything. He had reacted on instinct and made a dash for freedom. Unfortunately, he knew that Sirius and Remus would not let him disappear again. He had only been able to hide because Sirius was in Azkaban, and Remus thought he was dead. Those two would find him and eviscerate him within the week without Harry there to stop them.
So Peter had done the cowardly weak thing yet again. He had returned to his master. Or what was left of him at any rate. His once proud strong master, was now nothing more than a horrid cross of an infant and a snake. If the devil himself was born of a woman, he would look his deformed master. Now Peter was taking steps to return his master to a humanoid form. He knew that Harry would be the blood sacrifice, but he hoped to have another Death Eater willing to lop off a part of themselves to resurrect the master.
Maybe there was another way? Some way to redeem himself, and protect Harry? Someway to prevent his own child from ending up a scraping servant to the Dark Lord he had willingly bound himself to serve?
END FLASHBACK
With a shriek, Peter tumbled over at the rasped Crucio! from his thrice cursed master. Luckily, the master's strength was minimal and the formerly brain scrambling power of his torture spell was merely agonizing. Although ending up in the long term care ward of St. Mungos was sounding better and better. Of course, if the master did scramble his brains with one too many curses, he knew he would end up as snake food.
As he felt the curse lift, he heard his master tell him how he hungered, and needed to be fed. Heaven forbid the master simply asked politely for what he needed. No, no, no! The master was too good for that!
It was always...
Crucio! Feed me Wormtail!
Crucio! Read me the news Wormtail!
Crucio! Amuse me Wormtail!
Crucio! Ooooo this one's a smelly nappy Wormtail! Make sure you wipe my arse properly Wormtail!
Miserable snake faced bastard! Who would have thought a diet of milky snake venom and small children could make for such spectacularly horrid bowel movements. While the colors were simply mind boggling, the smell had literally caused the paint to peel from the walls. He was also sure that the master intentionally tried to urinate or defecate on him as he changed the filthy nappies.
Speaking of smells, the master needed another bath. Yet another task no one tells you about during career day when you read the glamorous brochure "So you want to be a Dark Minion?" Of course, he should have known that the Slytherins would leave things out, it was just in their nature.
"Come along master, time for your 'ritual anointing', we need to prepare you." said Peter, rolling his eyes at the master's happy bouncing and clapping his hands.
"Make sure you bring my basilisk familiar model! Not the dumb poopy-head griffin one again or I will Crucio you Wormtail!" hissed the master.
Model, yeah right. Stupid squeaky snake toy.
He noticed Nagini slip out for her nightly hunt. Good! The monster gave him horrible frights, always looking at him like he was still in his animagus form.
As the master splashed happily in his "dark ritual chamber", Peter tried to keep himself at least somewhat dry, and the floor from being soaked. If the master was not careful, he would slip and fall, bursting his head like a...
Peter couldn't. The master would flay his skin from his bones, and make a wind chime from the remnants.
But he remembered Lily warning him how an infant could drown in only an inch of bathwater...
All it took was a second of inattention...
"Wormtail! Scrub my back! I've got itchies!", hissed the master.
"Yes, master. Just let me add a little anointing oil to the chamber to properly protect your skin. There now, lean forward so I can get your back properly...Just a bit more master...THERE!" screeched Peter, as he thrust the surprised Dark Lord's head under the water. He watched his master tense and try to push off from the bottom of the tub, shocked at the sudden betrayal by his most loyal servant.
His master grew more frantic as his small hands and feet slipped on the smooth porcelain surface of the tub, unable to find purchase or leverage on the oil and water slicked tub. Peter felt bile rise in his throat as his vision swam, suddenly seeing an image of precious little Harry under his hands, and he started to release him. Until he realized his master was desperately trying to mentally attack him. With a grimace, and a swallow of bitter burning bile, he pushed the master's head firmly back under the roiling waters, banging his small head against the hard tub, hoping to break the master's concentration.
He felt the dark mark on his arm ignite, and he could smell the flesh charring down to the bone, as his master tried to control him. He screamed in pain, but would not stop now. He was a dead man either way, hopefully this way would take some of the darkness from his soul. Or at least enough so that he could submit himself to Lily and James and beg for their forgiveness, before he was cast into the pits of Tartarus and eternal torment. At least this way, his son would not be forced to tread the same path as his father.
He could see flakes of ash circling in the room, as the air currents lofted them like hellish snowflakes, morbidly dancing in the air. The master thrashed a few more times, jerkily and uncontrolled. Peter knew he was dying, and that the mark was trying to drain the life and magic from his body to keep the drowned master alive. He sobbed out a broken plea, "Forgive me Lilly, I'm sorry James! Sirius and Remus please take care of Harry...he's such a dear boy. Harry, thank you for your kindness and trust, I hope you live a full and happy life! Draco, don't be a fool like I was!" With that, the weakest, most fearful of the Marauders, and the shame of Gryffindor toppled forward lifelessly onto the former darkest and most powerful wizard of the past thousand years.
A/N I always see fics about how Peter is regularly belittled and cursed, and how he considers that having the dark lord back may not be such a good thing. But at heart, Peter is a terrified little man. How could he actually do something to prevent the Dark Lord's rise? As I tweaked this, I had the mental image of the old has been high school hero football player, who was part of a great team, but never moved on. From there, I began to think of just how devious Lucius would be to please his master. Throw in the comments about how Draco in the books was rat faced, and there you go. I always wondered exactly what Peter was promised to betray his friends. I think this is something that most men would agree could do it.
This actually made me nauseous as I wrote it. Any one who has ever bathed a child, will know why, and I apologize for the darkness of this. It is a terrifying thought, as it literally only take a few seconds for a child to drown. I need a drink.
There is a piece of fluff after this, just to make me feel a little better. Although I might tweak it a bit to make it fit better with the overall story. It will be after I put a few chapters of The Unmentionable's out in time for Halloween though. Take a look at my profile and vote for who you want to see next in that story.
As always, thanks for all of the reviews, hits, alerts, feedback and favorites! Please keep reading and reviewing, as it really helps me improve my writing!