Why yes, I DO fail at titles and summaries :D I don't think it's actually got anything to do with the story... But it's not an AU for once! Shocking, I know. I'm not entirely sure why that's relevant. It wasn't originally for the 100 challenge… I got bored while writing it and decided to look at what I had left to do and found one that was sort of fitting. It gives me less of it to think up things for :D The joys of unending laziness~ The first line sounds familiar and it's bugging me. Grr.
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto ^^
What they said and what they meant were oftentimes two completely different things. It was like they had their own language only the two of them could fully understand.
To anyone outside of the Akatsuki it would be seen as a miracle that they were both still breathing (though their near immortality had a lot to do with it), as it still was to the majority of those in the organisation.
Only the more perceptive of them had noticed, though they were also the more indifferent as to what their coworkers got up to in their spare time.
Itachi was somewhat of an exception. While, no, he still didn't care, he did occasionally find himself mentally translating their arguments.
Such as right now. It was morning and although they were crazed, deranged murderers they still needed to eat (with the exception of Sasori, for obvious reasons), and it was at their daily breakfast bitchfest where he found himself deciphering.
"Oi twatfink, gimme the milk," 'Morning,'
"It's right in front of you, you get it," 'Sleep well?'
Hidan reached over Deidaras' head, purposefully dunking his head in his cereal and snatched it, fixing the eldest of the two a venomous glare. 'No,'
The glare was returned and Kakuzu left, abandoning his still half full plate. 'We'll talk upstairs,'
It pretty much always went like that; they'd argue, Kakuzu would leave, Hidan would eat then follow, assumingly to avoid suspicion. If anybody else had noticed they ignored it. Itachi had been curious as to what they did up there but not so much as to follow, he preferred his heart inside his body thank you very much.
OoOoO
"Well?" Kakuzu was perched on the bed, looking at Hidan expectantly. At first he didn't say anything; he just sat cross legged and forced Kakuzus' arms around him, closing his eyes for a second.
"Nothing. Just these stupid fucking nightmares," The Jashinist often suffered from nightmares, he was good at hiding them, though. Kakuzu only knew because he had been awake a few times when they were particularly violent. He had never cried though, it was a very unmanly thing to do in Hidans' eyes, even in his sleep.
"Which one? The one about being buried alive or the one about…" All was quiet for a few more minutes. Silence was extremely rare to come by with the zombie twins; it must have shaken him up some.
"You were dead, I had killed you," the masochist rested his head on the misers' chest and tilted his head up, meeting his eyes with an unreadable expression which did not look right on him. "But you stayed dead. There was only one heart and I... I just fucking laughed. But it wasn't like the usual way I laugh at you or death or shit, it was different. Like I was crazy," Many could argue that his sanity was already dubious and that his laughing at death was a testament to that.
Hidan held few things dear. There were things he liked, sure. There were a lot of things he liked; he liked his hair, he liked his scythe, he liked taking the piss out of Deidara, he liked Tobis' antics, so long as they didn't fuck with him. But there was very little he truly loved; Jashin and… Kakuzu. Upon hearing the latter most would laugh, and declare the claim utter bullshit.
They didn't act like they loved each other; quite the opposite actually. It would be classed as a good day with three disembowelments. Regardless of how much they fought and how many limbs they tore off in the process they did care for each other, thought it would never be shown in public. Any tender (as tender as they could get, anyway) moments would be kept to their room, be it in the base or in an inn, such as right now.
"You are crazy. It's practically a requirement to be crazy in the Akatsuki," Kakuzu would still be more distant than the Jashinist even when alone. He claimed getting too close would make them weak, an argument Hidan quickly dispelled by pointing out that you couldn't really get closer than sex. He still acted colder than Hidan would have liked but even he got the point after being forced to carry his head round for a week.
He stayed silent as if thinking again, but the older of the two wasn't fooled. Hidan did not think. He rushed in headfirst without bothering to come up with a strategy, thankfully for him (and to some extent, Kakuzu) he could act fast enough that he didn't need a plan. If it weren't for his rituals he'd have the job done in about 20 minutes.
"I'm sorry," He had stopped staring at the stitched mans' chin and turned his head towards the door, not expecting an answer. He didn't get one for a while and he had nearly fallen asleep before Kakuzus' deep voice snapped him back to reality along with a soft nip on the neck.
"For what? Killing me in a dream? That's stupid even for you," The miser smirked into his neck. He sounded cruel and harsh but Hidan knew he meant nothing by it. "Like you could kill me anyway," chuckling slightly at the scandalised look on Hidans' face, he turned him round and planted a kiss on the forehead, turning the Jashinists' expression to a playful glare.
"That's my line, you fucking scrooge,"
Can you glare at someone playfully? Eh, for the sake of this story you can *shrug* Why Itachi? I dunno he just seems to be the go-to man for creepy, all knowing stalkery type dudes. Should be Zetsu really but I ain't questioning my mind XD It's strange thinking of them as coworkers :S Hidan doesn't cry. He are man. He are manly man. A MANS' MAN, quite literally XD …I kinda wanna attempt a lemon but I can already smell the failure ._. You know what, I just won't. Ever. Yet. Maybe. I like KakuHida, I fail slightly less at it :3 The word Scrooge makes this a Christmas fic :D