"DAMN IT CAS!" Dean bellowed as he flung open the door of the motel room with a crash and stormed inside. Castiel was already standing in the room and Dean took a startled step back to avoid striding into him. Flinging his arms up in frustration Dean tossed a beaten up duffel bag onto a vacant chair and sat down in another leaving nowhere for Cas to sit. As Dean put his head in his hands the angel looked down awkwardly with a look of bewilderment on his face. Sighing Dean dragged his hands down his face and left them clasped in front of his mouth, almost as though he was praying before looking up at Cas with a look so full of despair it made the angels heart bleed.
"What in the hell are we supposed to do now?" Dean finally demanded.
"I don't know." Cas simply stated. His gaze fixed on Dean intently, as though he were trying to stare at his soul.
"Damn lot of good you are then." Dean spat, rising out of his seat suddenly and pacing the floor. Cas looked down, visibly hurt by the dig, but for once Dean was beyond caring.
The two of them remained silent for a long while. At one point Cas perched himself awkwardly on the edge of one of the beds, not wanting to take Deans chair in case this angered him further. Dean barely noticed as he kept pacing up and down the room, occasionally muttering profanity.
"Dean I –" but Castiel barely got the words out before Dean rounded on him.
"Dean what? Huh?" He yelled. The look on his face showed he was taking no prisoners this evening. He was hurting and so he would hurt anyone he could, as much as he could.
"Dean I'm sorry I have no explanation for why I ditched in the middle of a hunt!" Dean's voice grew louder the more he spoke.
"Dean I want to explain why I bailed and let Sam go in alone and now we have no clue where he is!" Dean had thrown his hands up again at this bit and begun pacing.
"DEAN I HAVE NO FUCKING EXPLANATION FOR WHY YOUR LITTLE BROTHER MIGHT BE DEAD IN A DITCH SOMEWHERE AND WE HAVE NO GOD DAMN IDEA!" At this point Dean was screaming in Castiel's face and the angel was cringing away.
"I'm sorry." Was all he could muster.
"Oh you're sorry." Dean spat. "Well fan-fucking-tastic! That solves everything!"
Suddenly there was a vibrating sound from Deans pocket and he scrambled to find the source. Flipping open the phone before even checking the ID, Dean answered the call frantically.
"Sam?" He said, a not so subtle desperation bursting into his voice. Cas waited with bated breath.
"Oh fucking hell man, never do that to me again! Are you ok?" The visible relief washed over Dean as his previously tensed muscles relaxed.
"Ok, dude where are you? I'm coming to get you." There was a few seconds of Sam's muffled voice on the other end of the phone before Dean sighed.
"Fine, but you get your ass back here pronto, you understand?" Dean hung up with a swift movement and chucked the phone on the table. He stood for a second, letting the remainder of the worry flow out of him. Then he turned and pointed at the angel still sitting tentatively at the end of the bed.
"Don't think this means everything is ok." He said with in a sharp tone. Cas nodded but looked much calmer now that the harshness and worry had gone from Dean's voice. Dean took a few steps forwards.
"What were you even doing?" He demanded. "What? Was there some fancy angel shindig you forgot to mention? Were we interfering with your plans?" Castiel struggled not to smile at the familiar sarcasm, but then sobered.
"I couldn't help it." He replied darkly.
"What do you mean you couldn't help it?" Came the sharp response, "What? Is there some dude out there who can just click his fingers and poof, instant angel transport?"
"I don't know about any clicking of fingers but otherwise that seems an adequate description of the process." Cas furrowed his brow slightly, it still took him some time to interpret Deans visual metaphors. Dean was shaking his head.
"No, that's not good enough. I can't be having you on hunts if you can just be whisked off at any point by any God damn motherfucker who feels like it!"
"That won't be a problem. It was an ancient rite, one which has been forbidden for many centuries. I did not even think the knowledge still existed."
"Well you angels seem to think that about a lot of shit, and every time it comes back to bite us in the ass!" Dean gestured in exasperation. Castiel stood swiftly.
"There are countless years of lore and rites, the likes of which you cannot even fathom. I cannot warn you about every tiny fragment of possibility in the world Dean. I tell you that which I believe is important to you at the most useful time to you." His voice grew deeper as he became angrier with the accusation. "I have millennia worth of knowledge in my head Dean; I do my best to use it to help you. I have told you things that by rights no human should ever know. Yet I tell it to you because I know you need it and because…" Cas trailed off.
Dean was staring at the angel as though he'd never seen him before. There was pain in his eyes, but also something else, something which may not have been seen in those eyes for a years; hope.
"Cas, I –" Dean began, but he too trailed off.
"I am sorry I put Sam in harm's way." Cas said quietly. "It was never my intention."
"Damn it Cas." Dean muttered. "Why you gotta be so…?"
"So what?" Cas murmured back, a slight curiosity tinged his voice.
"Nothing." Dean said quickly, turning his back. The number of times this type of conversation had happened between them was ridiculous, but this time was different. All of the emotion from Dean's earlier outburst still had faint echoes in the atmosphere. There was also a sense of relief in Sam's safety. Yet none of this was what changed tonight for Cas. Just before Dean turned away the angel spotted something in his gaze. It couldn't have lasted for more than a fraction of a second, but it was all the time he needed.
As Dean's back turned fully away he heard Castiel's voice, much closer than it had been before.
"Dean." Was all he said.
Dean twisted back round but before he could reply Cas's lips were on his and he felt like he was on fire. It couldn't have lasted more than five seconds but in that time he felt as though all of the angel's pure energy was pouring into him, filling him with light and joy, the likes of which he had never felt before. Then it was gone.
Dean opened his eyes to a vacant room. His mind was a haze and all he could do was whisper a single word into the emptiness.
"Cas."