Title: Nothing Compares To You
Rating: Strong M
Pairing: Seth/Jacob
Summary: The easiest secrets to keep are the ones shrouded in darkness. And nobody knows that better than Seth.
Warnings: slash, angst, somnophilia (if you don't know what that is, you might want to look it up before you read this ;P), dub-con or non-con (depending on how you view it), unbeta'd
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. I am not making any money from this.
A/N: Woohoo! I finally posted a story in the Twilight section on here! *big grin* This idea has been buzzing around in my mind for some time now, so I'm happy to finally write it. Unfortunately, I don't have a beta, so there may be some mistakes. Please let me know if you spot any, and I will fix them. Also, the title of this story comes from the song by Sinéad O'Connor. Something about that song fit this story, particularly Seth's emotions in the story. Anyhoo, I think it works for this and hopefully you will, too. **Sorry for the somewhat crappy formatting.** Happy reading!
The easiest secrets to keep are the ones shrouded in darkness. Seth used this darkness like a shield, hiding his worst deeds behind it. He slipped from his bedroom window during the blackest hour of the night and made his way quietly to a house not far away from his own. He knew the window at the back of the house was rusty and would give with very little force. He entered this way, creeping on tip toes through the quiet home that was as familiar as his own. Even from a few feet away, he could hear the deep snores of the one he was seeking. The sound both calmed and unnerved him, but he'd adjusted to this uneasy feeling. He was even beginning to like it. It meant good things were to come.
He opened the door to the bedroom slowly, jumping slightly when it creaked. He paused, his ears strained for any sound of the one he loved waking. He heard nothing except the deep, even breathing and soothing snores. He approached the bed, his eyes which had long ago adjusted to the darkness now took in the sight of the elder wolf who lay sprawled across his bed, feet hanging over the edge and one arm stretching across his body. Jacob. The name echoed through Seth's mind as he stared at Jake, taking note of Jacob's boxers which were pushed down low on his hips.
Licking his lips, Seth moved closer, taking a step every time Jacob released a loud snore until his knees brushed Jake's bed. Summoning every bit of grace he had, he shifted onto the bed, careful not to touch the sleeping male. He situated himself so that he was sitting next to Jake's waist and was facing the sleeping wolf. He took a moment to admire the form of the boy he'd been in love with for some time now. Jacob had cut his hair a while back, but it had grown out some and now framed his face, a loose strand painting a dark streak across Jake's handsome features. Unable to resist, Seth reached out to brush the strand from Jacob's face, his finger's lightly skimming the older male's cheek. Jake let out a soft moan, but did not move.
Feeling emboldened by Jake's response, Seth allowed his finger to trail down Jacob's torso, curving around the muscles of Jacob's toned stomach. He smiled softly as the cloth covering Jacob's groin began to tent and knew that now was the time to do what he'd come there for.
He gripped the alpha wolf's growing erection through the thin cotton of the boxers and stroked up slowly. His actions were met with another moan, and he tensed as Jacob shifted slightly. Once Jake had settled, Seth repeated the movement. He wrapped his hand more firmly around the hardening member and continued to stroke it in a steady rhythm. Still fast asleep, Jacob's hips started moving with the rhythm, pushing forward as Seth's hand stroked upwards.
Seth's breath was coming in short pants as his arousal began to get the best of him. He reached into his sweatpants and began to stroke himself to the same rhythm he was using on Jacob. As the sleeping male's moans became more frequent, Seth began to stroke faster. He could see the tip of Jacob's cock peeking out from the top of his boxers, the head shiny with precum. He longed to bend down and taste it, but couldn't quite work up the courage to do so.
He felt Jacob's cock twitch in his hand and knew the boy was on the verge of coming. Speeding up the rhythm on both his and Jacob's member, Seth bit his lip to keep from moaning. He knew it was risky to use such a speed on the sleeping wolf. Jacob would be more likely to wake up at the current pace than the slower one Seth normally used. Still, Seth wanted to see Jacob come hard. He wanted to know just how much pleasure he was giving to the boy he loved.
Jacob's body jerked as his climax hit him and a loud moan escaped his lips. This was all it took to send Seth over the edge. He hunched forward as his orgasm hit, his mouth clenched shut to keep any sound from escaping.
He took a deep, shaky breath to calm himself, doing his best to pull himself together so that he could make a hasty retreat. He peered over at Jacob's shifting form, knowing the boy was on the verge of waking. He sighed wistfully at the sight, desperately wishing that when Jake woke up he'd want to hold Seth; want to kiss him. There was still a big part of Seth that hoped Jacob would return the love he felt for him, but he was too afraid to broach the subject when Jacob was awake. Maybe one day Seth would be brave enough to say something, but until then he'd take these secret nights of pleasure for all they were worth.
Stepping down from the bed, Seth glanced back once at Jacob's form, noting the not so even breathing and feeling a slight thrill that he'd been able to give so much to him, even if Jacob didn't know it. He exited the house quickly, leaving as quietly as he had entered. He ran as fast as he could, a smile on his face as he chased the last bits of darkness all the way home.
"Seth!"
The deep voice sent a chill down Seth's spine. He did his best to hide it before turning to see Jacob approaching.
"What are you doing out here, man? You should tell people where you're going, especially if you're hiding out in the middle of the woods somewhere." Seth smiled at the annoyance he heard in Jacob's voice. He knew that all of his friends were aware of 'Seth's spot', a small grove nestled deep in the woods that Seth escaped to whenever he needed space. He leaned back against the tree he'd been resting on, grinning widely as Jacob sat down opposite him.
"You know I always come here," Seth responded, his tone playful. "I doubt it took you long to find me."
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." Jacob returned Seth's grin, which sent another chill down the younger wolf's spine.
"Just needed some time to think," Seth said, picking up a fallen leaf to twirl between his fingers.
"'Bout what?" Jacob asked, cocking an eyebrow as he observed his friend.
About you, Seth thought, but didn't say it. Instead he said, "Stuff," and shrugged.
"Hm," Jacob responded. He studied Seth with probing eyes, and Seth couldn't help the blush that crept up his cheeks at Jacob's stare. "You okay?"
"I'm fine," he said, unable to look Jacob in the eye. If he did, he was sure Jacob would be able to see he was lying. Instead he focused his attention on tearing the leaf he was holding into small pieces.
"If you say so," Jacob said in a tone that made it clear he didn't believe him.
"What about you, Jake? You seem kind of... I dunno, distracted or something lately." Seth couldn't help the small frisson of worry that was twisting knots in his belly. Did Jacob know what he had been doing to him at night? Was he here to tell Seth how disgusted he was? Seth had been able to keep his secret even in wolf form. He'd found that if he allowed himself to think about anything, from the most pointless of thoughts to the most existential, he could bury those nights spent in Jacob's room as well as his feelings for him deep enough in his brain that the other wolves couldn't see them. It was the same method he used when he was around Edward, and Seth had been sure it was effective. Had he been wrong? Seth did his best to keep the tension he felt from showing on his face. It took a great effort, but he did it.
"Yeah, I'm..." Jacob began before heaving a sigh. "Actually, there has been something bothering me." Seth tensed as Jacob studied his face for a moment. He had to remind himself to breath as the worry he'd felt began to double.
"It's Nessie."
Seth felt as though there were a fist squeezing around his heart, and had to glance away from Jacob before he showed what he was feeling on his face.
"Well, to be exact, it's Nessie and that Nahuel guy." Jacob spoke Nahuel's name as though it were poison. "I know they've been keeping in contact over the years, because he's the only other person Nessie knows who's like she is. But I know that guy has a hidden agenda. He wants her. I just know it." Frustration twisted Jacob's features into something slightly less handsome than they normally were. Seth still thought he was perfect.
"I know she's young," Jacob continued, his voice sounding somewhat defeated. "She looks about fifteen, but that's still young. It's just... in a few months she'll be old enough to choose who she wants to be with. And I want her to choose me." He paused, running a shaking hand through his shoulder length hair, before he trained his eyes on Seth's. "What do you think? Should I just let this go and hope she'll choose me or should I say something?"
Let it go, Seth thought. Let her be with Nahuel. Then you could be with me... He wanted to say this, but couldn't. Jacob was straight and wanted Nessie. Not him. So, swallowing his pride and feeling the fist squeeze ever tighter around his heart, he said, "Talk to her. Wait awhile 'till she's a little older and then let her know how you feel. You're imprinted on her, and you've been important to her since the day she was born. I'm pretty sure she'll choose you."
Jacob took a moment to think about what Seth had said and nodded. "Yeah, I'll talk to her. Thanks man." The smile Jacob gave Seth then nearly killed him, but Seth buried that empty feeling away.
"No problem," he said, giving Jacob a forced smile in return. He overturned the hand holding the shredded leaf and allowed the pieces to fall and scatter on the forest floor.
Months passed and Seth's nighttime visits to Jacob's home grew more frequent. He knew the time would come when Nessie would return Jacob's feelings and all hope would be lost for him. So he took what he could in Jacob's dark bedroom. He'd grown a bit more courageous, and was now able to slip his hand under Jacob's boxers to wrap around his erection. He cherished the feeling of skin on skin, and did his best to memorize the sensation of Jacob's cock hot and heavy in his hand.
He'd also began to visit Jacob more often, wanting to spend as many moments alone with him as he could. He figured that when Nessie and Jake got together they'd be like all the other couples he knew and want to spend every waking moment with each other. He couldn't blame them, though, even if it was annoying sometimes. He felt that if he were with Jacob, he'd want to spend all his time with him, too.
Seth found himself imagining for the umpteenth time how his life would be if he and Jake were together as he made his way to the Black residence. He knew most people wouldn't be okay with it, and Nessie might hate them both. That would hurt Jacob, but Seth would be there to help him cope. No matter what happened, they'd have each other and everything would be okay.
He approached the home with this thought in mind and a smile on his face. That smile quickly vanished when he glanced through the window of the Black's home. There, curled up together on the beat up old couch in the living room, was Jacob and Nessie. Jacob was speaking to her, his eyes staring into hers as though she were the only person on the planet. She smiled softly at him, the look saying so much more than words ever could. And then she leaned forward just as Jacob did until their lips connected. And Seth felt everything inside of him shatter.
He stood there frozen, staring at the scene through the blur of tears. He wanted to scream. He wanted to run into the house and rip the two of them apart. He wanted to... run. He needed to run. He needed to get the fuck away from that house; that image of everything he wanted belonging to someone else.
He turned on his heel, the tears now flowing freely down his face, and ran as fast and as far as he could. He made his way to that grove hidden deep in the woods and breathed deeply as the thick evening air turned into the cool, caressing breeze of night. He sank to his knees, curling forward as a sob tore through his body. He felt as though he were being torn apart from the inside out and nothing could make it stop. The feeling was beyond anything he'd ever known and was so overpowering that he didn't even shift into wolf form.
It was gone... All that he'd wanted was gone now. It wasn't fair. He still needed this. He still needed Jacob. He couldn't give it all up, not that easily.
A small bundle of resolve was building in his stomach. He knew he had to say goodbye to Jacob, but he wouldn't let it end like this. He'd go back. He'd take what he could in the night and let the morning wash it away. Just one more night... Then he'd allow it all to end.
Just one more night.
Seth gathered every ounce of strength he possessed as he approached Jacob's bed. Jacob was sprawled on his back like usual, taking up more space than the bed allowed. Seth wanted to take his time to admire the sleeping boy like he normally did, but he felt as though time was slipping away. He had to be quick. But he'd still make this special.
He crept onto the bed as careful as always, but this time he sat lower than he usually did, so that he was level with Jacob's knees. Jake was wearing an older pair of boxers, and the worn fabric was much looser than the others he wore. This would work to Seth's benefit. Crouching carefully over the slumbering wolf, he reached up to shift the boxers lower down Jacob's body. It was difficult, because he couldn't take the risk of lifting Jacob or else he'd wake him. He had to pause several times as Jacob moved in his sleep, but finally he pulled the garment low enough to reveal the elder male's flaccid member.
He lowered his face over the nest of black curls that surrounded Jacob's cock and inhaled deeply, taking in the musty scent and allowing it to overwhelm him. He basked in that scent, because it was Jacob and because it was something he could only keep as memory and nothing more.
He glanced up at Jake's face. It seemed softer when he slept, showing no trace of the lines that tended to mare his features when he was awake. Seth's heart hurt as he continued to stare, but he ignored it. He could do this. He would do this.
Taking a deep breath to steady his nerves, he ducked his head down further and flicked his tongue out to taste the soft skin of Jacob's cock. It was a bit salty and Seth relished the taste. He trailed the flat of his tongue along the length, from the balls to the very tip. The corners of his lips twitched into a small smile as the member began to harden. Jacob moaned in his sleep which spurred Seth on. He continued to lick the budding erection until it hardened completely. A drop of precum decorated the head and Seth caught it on his tongue, rolling it around on his taste buds before swallowing. He took another deep breath, shifting forward a bit more, before taking Jacob's cock into his mouth.
At first he just held it there, wanting to imprint the feel of it in his mouth to his memory. He glanced up at Jacob again, making sure he was still fast asleep, before taking more of the hard member into his mouth.
Seth had never performed fellatio before. He hadn't had it done to himself, either, as he'd never been interested in anyone but Jacob. However, he had heard lewd stories from Paul about all the girls who'd done it to him, thus Seth knew enough to do a decent job. He pulled back until Jacob's shaft slipped from his mouth. Seth curled his lips over his teeth, knowing it would hurt Jacob if he grazed his teeth along such a sensitive area. Paul had talked once about a girl who knew how to drag her teeth down his cock in a way that didn't hurt, but Seth knew he wasn't that talented.
He leaned forward again and took Jacob even deeper into his mouth. His tongue moved against Jacob's cock and the sleeping boy gave a long, slow groan. Seth wanted to smile at the sound, but resisted. Instead, he sucked in his cheeks and began to bob his head back and forth on Jacob's length. He went slowly, not wanting to risk Jacob waking up and ruining everything.
Seth's own cock began to harden as he continued to suck Jacob off. He lowered himself until his hips rested firmly on the bed and began to rock against the mattress. The friction felt amazing against his erection, and he moaned softly. The vibrations of the sound caused the cock in his mouth to twitch, and Seth knew it must feel good. He did it again, earning an even louder groan from Jacob.
Seth wrapped his hand around the base of Jacob's member and began to stroke him in rhythm with the bobbing of his head. Jacob's hips canted upwards slightly, matching Seth's pace. Seth lost himself in the moment and the feeling of the cock in his mouth; of Jacob's hips rising upward as though begging Seth for more. It was what he'd always wanted. It didn't matter that Jacob wasn't really aware of what was happening.
Figuring he must be close from the sounds the sleeping boy was making, Seth increased the amount of suction, his cheeks hollowed in so much they hurt. He ignored the pain as he continued to grind against the mattress. That low pressure was building in his stomach, and he knew he was close. He wanted to hold off, though. He wanted to come to the feeling of Jacob releasing into his mouth.
A particularly loud moan from Jacob and the almost impossible hardness of his shaft let Seth know that that moment had arrived. He sucked as hard as he could, hoping he wasn't hurting Jacob. Seth quickened the pace he was using to stroke Jake off, and Jake's body gave a sharp jerk as he came. The thick fluid filled Seth's mouth, and he did his best to swallow it all down. He felt some slip from his mouth and dribble down his chin. That sensation; the slick feel of the liquid running down his face brought on Seth's orgasm with a force he'd never before known. He couldn't choke back the moan that made it's way up his throat as he came so hard his vision actually blurred.
He closed his eyes and allowed Jacob's member to slip from his lips as he breathed deeply, trying to gather his wits about him after such an explosive climax. When he finally opened them, he glanced up to see if he could find any lingering hint of Jacob's climax etched on his features and froze when his eyes met Jacob's. Jacob... was awake.
Seth felt as though he were carved from stone. His body refused to move, and he couldn't think straight enough to speak. Jacob's gaze continued to penetrate him, and Seth could only wonder what he was thinking. Was he upset? Was he confused? Maybe... Maybe he was shocked, but not disgusted. Seth would be shocked, too, if he woke up to find Jacob's head between his legs. But that shock would quickly give way to elation, and if Jake were anything like Seth, that should be happening right about now.
"Seth?" Jacob's voice was thick and scratchy with sleep, but Seth still found it soothing. He licked his lips as he continued to stare up at Jacob. He wanted to say something; wanted to tell Jacob he loved him. Say it, he thought to himself, his conscience urging him along. Tell him. Maybe he'll-
"What the fuck are you doing?!"
Seth felt something in him break as his mind registered the fury and disgust in that statement and in Jacob's eyes. Jake was disgusted by what Seth had done. Somehow, despite how wrong Seth knew his actions were, he'd still never expected Jacob to be so upset should he ever wake up. Seth had allowed his fantasies to blur reality and had always believed that Jacob waking up after he had brought him off would lead to understanding and kissing and maybe even love. But not this. Seth hadn't been prepared for this.
Horror filled his body and jolted him into action. Without glancing back at Jacob, he leapt up from the bed and ran from the house. He jumped through the back window he'd used to come in and just kept running.
He ran aimlessly this time, not caring where he ended up. He wanted to get as far away from Jacob and that look on Jake's face as he possibly could. Seth stumbled as he ran, not as sure footed as he usually was. There was a gaping wound somewhere inside of him. It was impeding his actions, and Seth knew that no matter how far away he went, the wound would never close.
The darkness pressed around him like a betrayal, taking everything he was feeling and magnifying it by denying him any light to spear through the forest and illuminate something, anything, that would distract him. He didn't want to be in his skin anymore. He didn't want darkness. He wanted Jacob. But the world felt empty in the absence of light and Seth knew he was alone.
So he ran. He ran away from all that couldn't be, and had never been.
And the cold, harsh blackness of the night chased after him.
A/N: Thanks so much for reading my story! This is a oneshot, so I'm not planning on adding anything else. However, if you have any ideas, I'd love to hear from you. Maybe I'll write a sequel? ;) So review to let me know if you like this story or not. I'd really appreciate it. Thanks again!