Notes:
- Male Boss, voice 1.
- Set during Three Way.
- Starting (between Pierce and Oleg) and ending dialogue (with Angel) ripped directly from the game. Please don't kill me.
Steelport had descended into madness. There was chaos in the streets as three forces clashed. The Luchadores, the only remaining members of the Syndicate, had begun open attacks on the Third Street Saints. The Special Tactical Anti-Gang Unit, STAG for short, had responded as best they could, throwing near limitless numbers of soldiers and equipment into stopping the fighting.
It was madness, really. Thousands of people were wrapped up into a civil war over some city in the middle of nowhere. There were several different major focal points of fighting, key locations like the Saints Tower and Powder, but none was as large as the fighting going on at the Armory in the center of the city.
The Boss of the Saints, of course, was fighting there. Where else would he be besides the biggest gunfight yet? Flanked by longtime friend Pierce and Russian giant Oleg, the "Boss" ran straight into the fray, twin Kobras pouring bullets into nearby foes.
Surprised, both sides moved to take in the new threat, forcing the Boss to dive behind a vehicle for cover while Oleg charged into their ranks, lifting one into the air with barely any effort. Pierce moved to cover him, firing suppressive fire at the STAG soldiers nearby using his Krukov.
The Boss reloaded his cobras as Pierce ducked down, bullets bouncing off the surface of the wall he was crouched behind.
Pierce spoke up, eyes wide. "Hey, I was thinking… we might die here." He glanced over at the Boss, "Anything you wanna get off your chest?"
Firing rounds into two Luchadores in front of him, the Boss responded, "Pierce, don't be so negative!"
A third Luchadore was launched out of view by a thrown STAG soldier, followed by Oleg charging by the Boss' vehicle with three other STAG members dangling off of his shoulders.
"He has a point," Oleg added, overturning one of the Luchadore trucks, "Were Kinzie here, I'd pour out my heart."
Pierce blinked a few times, dumbfounded. "What?!"
Oleg merely shrugged, looking back at Pierce as the Luchadores tried to scramble out of their truck.
"It is rare I find an intellectual equal." Oleg added.
"Goddamn it, Oleg fucking stole mine!" The Boss yelled, face scrunched in irritation, as he pulled his Ultimax from his back. He took aim and blasted a Luchadore that had tried to flank him.
Pierce, still dumbfounded, could only stare at the boss before voicing his surprise, "What."
"I mean, I wasn't going to 'pour my heart out to her' or any of that shit Oleg suggested." The Boss answered nonchalantly, throwing a grenade at a STAG tank before ducking back down behind his cover. He glanced over at Pierce before continuing, "I was just gonna say that I liked her and thought she was hot."
Oleg crushed a Luchadore under his fist before turning to face one of his clones. The two grappled as Pierce tried to formulate a response.
"I believe that makes us rivals for her affections, then." Oleg stated, pushing his clone back before slamming the Brute's head into the pavement.
"Honestly, big guy, I don't know if that's a benefit or a disadvantage to me." The Boss admitted, switching back to his Kobras.
"How would that be?" Oleg questioned, hefting his clone's Minigun in his hands. He held down the trigger and opened fire at the helpless group of soldiers and gangers in front of him.
"Well, on one hand, you can understand that technobabble of hers and you're fuckin' huge… in both regards, I might add." The Boss threw a flashbang over his cover before vaulting over it and rushing a helpless STAG soldier with his dual Kobras. "And on the other hand… you're fuckin' huge! You might crush her or something."
"I see." Oleg answered, stopping his barrage to look at the Boss, "I would have to agree with you. I am unsure if she would reciprocate my feelings."
"Goddamn, could you two not discuss this like a bunch of teenagers while we're in the middle of a fucking gunfight?" Pierce asked with a look of exasperation on his face, finally getting a hold of his words.
The Boss glared at Pierce. "Well fuck you too. You're the one that fucking brought it up."
"I concur." Oleg stated, supporting the Boss. He slammed a Luchadore into the ground with the barrel of the minigun. "You did ask if we had anything to get off our chests. We simply answered."
Pierce groaned, covering his eyes with a hand. "Look, could you guys just handle this later?"
"Alright, alright. Quit your bitching Pierce." The Boss answered, grabbing a STAG soldier as a human shield. He turned the soldier to face the Luchadores firing at him, and then executed the offending gangers with headshots from his Kobra.
Pierce opened fire on the remaining group of STAG as the Boss snapped his shield's neck, letting the deceased soldier fall to the ground.
A Luchadore rushed the Boss from the side, swinging his gun like a club. Sidestepping the blow, the Boss rammed his pistol into the man's gut, firing twice before letting the man's corpse fall.
"So, Pierce, anything you want to admit too?" The Boss asked, looking back at Pierce. "I mean, me and Oleg have confessed how we want to do Kinzie, but you've kept your mouth shut."
Pierce looked nervous, glancing off to the side. "Look, Boss, is this really the time?"
"If this wasn't the time, why bring it up in the first place?" The Boss replied, scrambling onto a STAG tank.
"I concur. I am curious to see what you would have to admit, Pierce." Oleg added, pushing the tank's barrel upward so it could not fire on the Saints.
The Boss yanked the tank's hatch open as Pierce sighed in resignation.
"Alright, fine. I don't like the damn Saints Flow Mascots." Pierce admitted, gunning down a STAG soldier.
"They're mascots. Everyone hates those guys." The Boss said, dropping a grenade into the Tank. He jumped off the tank, rolling as he hit the ground.
"They freak me out. They're fucking creepy as shit, man." Pierce stated. The STAG soldiers scrambled to get out of the tank, but they were too slow, being consumed in fire as the tank detonated.
"Seriously?" The Boss asked, looking baffled. "You're afraid of assholes dressed as cans of shitty energy drink?"
"It takes a brave man to admit fears such as that." Oleg mused, joining Pierce next to his cover.
"I don't know if he's brave or stupid, to be honest…" The Boss added, picking up a fallen STAG RPG.
"Look, could we just drop it?" Pierce asked, hitting the last group of Luchadores with a grenade from his Krukov, while the Boss detonated the last STAG vehicle with a well-placed rocket.
A group of Saints members began to arrive on the scene as the Boss' phone rang. As the Saints covered him, the boss answered the phone and made his way to their vehicle, a vastly modified Sovereign. He gestured to Oleg and Pierce to help their fellow Saints with the clean up.
"Killbane's planning on leaving Steelport!" Angel screamed, fury evident in his voice. An explosion went off behind the Boss, sending another Luchadore flying through the air to land in front of him.
"You've gotta be kidding me…" The Boss began, casually walking out of the armory, stepping on the Luchadore's balls as he did so.