Remembering
It has been six months since my dad has seen her. It has been six months since we had dinner together, at a table. Do you not know how long that is since we had a real conversation? All this happen after the accident.
Flashback:
"We need to get her in emergency surgery, fast." One of the doctors said.
"Is she going to be okay?" My dad ask.
"Sir, are you hurt?" The nurse asked looking at his cut on his forehead.
"No, I am fine I just want to know if my wife will be okay."
"We will do everything we can to make sure she is okay."
Ding
"Loren." My dad got up and came over to me. I backed away from him.
"Where is mom?" Tears coming down my cheek. He stayed silent.
"Where is she dad?" I said again.
After a brief silence he finally said. "She is in surgery, but they told me they would do everything they could."
"How could this happen?" Going to the chair to sit down.
"Honey…"
"Answer the question, how could this happen? No better yet what happened?"
"Your mom and I were arguing and I wasn't paying attention by a mistake I got into another lane not noticing that the headlights were in front of me. After Nora was finished looking at me she said 'watch out' but I was too late. The car had already hit us but hit your mother worse than it did me." I stayed silent looking at my hands and having my head down still crying.
Once my dad knew I wasn't going to say anything he sat down next to me putting his hand on my back. Waiting until the doctor came out tell us the news.
An hour. Then another hour. Then another one after that and so on had passed. I was still in that exact spot, but the only difference was my tears had dried up. My dad went to go and get coffee from the cafeteria but I stayed there looking frozen. Not looking up once. The ding of the elevator went off and my dad came up next to me holding another cup in his hands.
"I brought you some coffee." Handing it to me. I didn't say anything not moving an inch.
"Not thirsty."
"You must be thirsty, you haven't moved a-" Trying to make conversation while we wait. But I cut him off.
"I said I wasn't thirsty." Now looking up. He sat the cup down on the nearby table and sat down again drinking his coffee.
"Mr. Tate?" The doctor said.
Getting up from his chair in a rapid movement saying. "Yes that is me."
"I'm sorry sir but there was nothing we could do, we stop the bleeding but it kept coming. Either she makes it through this on her own or she dies."
"No." I said coming back with the tears. My dad held me close while I cried on his shoulder.
End of Flashback.
After that day everything changed. We moved to a bigger better house. My dad got a new job owning hotels and other sorts. He stays out late most of the nights and when he does stay out late I have to order in. We barely say two sentences to each other. Unless it is good morning or bye.
I am different to. I took karate classes so I can handle myself more. I take dance classes every Saturday. Without my dad knowing I brought a piano and a guitar. I found out that I was really good. I cut my hair into bangs. Oh and I write in a diary, whenever I don't want to talk I write. Sometimes I even think about singing but I know I am not good. My mom would always say to 'set your mind to again because you never know unless you try.'
6:45
No no, no no
I don't want you tonight
You weren't there
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright
I'm just fine
And you're a tool
So, so what?
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't want you tonight
Ba-da-da-da, da-da
My alarm was going off, I got up walked into my bathroom and took a shower and brushed my teeth. Once I came out I put on some dark skinny jeans with some greenish brownish folded combat boots and a black knit cardigan with crop sleeves and a white tank top underneath. I put on very little make-up such as mascara and lip gloss. Flat ironed my hair and went downstairs to grab my book bag and a banana.
Before I left out the door my dad stopped me in place.
"Were you not going to say goodbye." Buttoning up his shirt.
"No." I kept it short and simple.
"Well, I know it is your first day so I just wanted to tell you have a great first day."
"What am I five, I don't need my dad telling me anything."
"Look I know you are still mad-" I cut him off.
"Don't talk about it." I grabbed my car keys from the little hanger and left out the door. I got into my white Audi Q7 and was about to leave when I saw my dad get in his 2013 black Range Rover. He let me go first and we made opposite turns.
I parked into the school parking lot. Grabbed my book bag and got out of the car walking into the building. I got a few stares and guys whistling at me but I ignored them and went straight into the principal's office.
"You can go right on in." The front desk told me. I knocked on her door and she told me 'to come in.' So I did.
"You must be Loren Tate, thank you for showing up on time."
"You're welcome Principle Nolan."
"Please take a seat." Which I did. "So where do we begin?"
"What do you mean?"
"I'm talking about your classes."
"Oh, right."
"You will have eight classes."
"Which are?" I asked.
"Math, biology, literature, Spanish, history, computer class, music class that is optional you don't really have to attend that but we do encourage our students to go and a free period."
"Okay do I get my combination lock to?"
"Indeed you do, here you are." She handed me my schedule and my combination number to my locker. I left out of her office trying to find locker number 431.
I came in contact with the number I twisted the lock twice to the right and then once to the left. I got it to open and put my books inside and closed my locker. I grabbed my schedule out of my back pocket and went to the first class on the piece of paper which was math.
I took a seat in the middle row only to have a girl come up and I was just guessing her pap squad was following behind her to tell me to move out of her seat. In my head I was thinking great just to have some full of herself girl to tell me what to do on my first day.
"Are you deaf?" The girl asked me.
"No."
"Oh good she can hear I said 'move out of my seat.'"
"Sorry I don't see a name on it."
"Look Chloe she is new here just let her be." A girl with bright colors said to her.
"Aw Mel did you come to her rescue, that is so sweet." Putting a hand on her chest.
"Look I don't need any help, but thanks anyway Chloe whatever your name is it is just a seat you can have it back tomorrow."
Bell Ringing
"Okay class, Chloe why are you standing?"
"This girl is in my seat Mr. Pistachio." He looked at me and rolled his eyes simple and said. "It is just a seat Chloe there is one in the back take that one."
"Sorry I'm late Mr. Pist." One of the guys said.
"You boys are always late just sit down."
"Will do." Another one of the guys said.
"Back to what I was saying, oh right who are you?" Referring to me.
"I'm Loren." He still didn't know who I was so I said my full name. "Loren Tate, the new girl."
"Oh right, everyone this Loren. Will you please stand and come up to front please so everyone can see you." I got up from my seat but to only find out that I had guys staring at my ass and whistling when I came to the front.
"Hi I'm Loren; uh I don't know what else to say." Waving my hand and talking to the teacher at the same time.
"You can go ahead and sit down again, before you sit down grab a book from the bottom shelf over there. The rest of you open up to pages 644 and we will start from the beginning."
Time had already past and now it was lunch time. I went into the cafeteria to get a box of fruit and a bottle of water. I sat at the nearest table that I could fine outside. I took out my phone and put my headphones in and started to eat and listen to the music.
I picked up my phone and started to scroll down to fine better music when I put my phone down I saw the same girl with bright colors on sitting down opening up her lunch. I took out one of my headphones and asked her…
"Can I help you?" Putting a strawberry in my mouth.
"No, I would just like to have lunch with the new girl."
"Okay and my name is not the new girl."
"Oh, I know Loren I just wanted to see if you responded to that." I looked her up and down.
"What's up with the bright colors?"
"The bright colors show that I am proud to be who, I am and I don't need anyone else telling me otherwise."
"Cool, its Mel right."
"Yeah, my friends call me Mel but my full name is Melissa." When I was looking straight ahead I kept getting stares from other people.
"Can you please tell me why people keep staring at me?"
"Who is staring at you?"
"Them." Putting my head up referring to the four boys that I saw in class. She turned her head to see who I was talking about.
"Oh, that's Phil my delinquent of a brother and his friends, Cameron, Ian, and Eddie."
"Well they are really starting to get on my nerves with their eyes wondering off."
"Do you want me to say something?"
"No, I can handle it." I got out of my seat and walked over to them.
"Hey look new girl is coming over here." I heard the guy with blonde hair say. Once I was close enough one guy with dark hair and green eyes came up to me and grabbed my hand and kissed it. I looked at him like he was crazy.
"Hello love." I have to point one thing out; this guy had a sexy accent.
"Hi." Moving my hand out off of his lips.
"What can I do for you?"
"I-" He cut me off.
"I know how about you give me your number and I will take you out on a nice romantic dinner." I looked at him and crossed my arms.
"Is that your pick up line for all the girls or did you just use that one me?" His friends started laughing.
"Uh…"
"Yeah that's what I thought."
"Okay love how about this lets start over let me introduce you to me and my friends."
"I already know your names; let's see if I got this right. Cameron, Phil, you are Ian, and last but not least Eddie who looks like he is to cool for school."
"How did you know how are names?" Phil said.
"Your sister told me, but I am surprise you didn't see us talking about you guys. Oh that's right you were too busy staring at me."
"Since you know so much about us won't you tell us your name?"
"Too good for school exactly talks, wow, I am in absolute shock." Joking playfully while putting a hand over my chest.
"Ha ha you're funny."
"I try but my name is-" The bell ring before I could say my name. "Saved by the bell." I left to go and get my book bag and throw away my lunch.
"Did Ian try to flirt with you?" Melissa asked me.
"Yeah, how'd know."
"Because he always flirts with someone new, don't worry it will die down soon."
"Did he ever flirt with you?" I could have sworn I saw a little blush on her cheeks.
"Well if he did I wouldn't know."
"Well I have to get to school, see you around." Walking away, but Melissa was right behind me.
"What are you doing after school?"
"Trying to find a job, why?"
"Everyone hangs out at the Aroma café after school I wanted to see if you wanted to go."
"Uh, sure."
"Great I will meet you out here after school."
"Okay."
The school day was official over. I have to say school wasn't that bad. I met a lot of people; I met so many people that I forgot most of their names. I still got glances from other people let's just hope that doesn't last for a while. I met Melissa outside just like she told me to but I didn't see her. I must have gotten out a little earlier than the rest.
So I went to a tree laid my stuff down and took out my headphones and listened to some music while I waited. I put my head down on top of my book bag and watched the clouds. I watched how every time a cloud went by it was made into different shapes. About 15 minutes past and Melissa blocked away my vision of seeing the clouds with her head.
"I called you." Melissa said, while I was taking off my headphones.
"Sorry I couldn't hear you."
"No problem are you ready."
"Yeah lead the way." Following behind her.
We both got into our separate cars and I followed behind her it was that long of a ride like I thought it would have been. We parked into the two parking spaces that were available and went inside. She was right almost every person from school was here. Even the 4 boys I saw at lunch were here.
Melissa was directing us to a seat and we saw a boy with his headphones on drinking an ice coffee and having a plate with sweet potato fries right next to him. We sat close to the 4 boys but at a table instead of a booth. Once the boy saw us coming he took out his headphones.
"Hey Adam." Melissa said.
"Hi Mel."
"Adam this Loren, Loren this Adam."
"Hi, I'm going to go and get something to drink."
"Okay." Melissa sat down in a chair.
I got in line and waited I felt a boy hit my ass while I was waiting. I turned around and he was gone, I kept looking for him but there was no hope and then that's when I saw one of the boys from the table get up and come behind me in line.
"Looking for someone, maybe me."
"Not likely." I turned around facing him and then turned back around.
"Now my heart is broken, because you turned me down."
"Wow, boy that's was the worst pick up line ever. You have to do a lot better than that." Moving up in line.
"So there is a chance, yes!"
"Cameron get a life there will never be a chance if you keep using those lame ass pick-up lines. Tell me how many girls did you use that on?" Turning back around to face him.
"Wow you exactly now my name I thought it would take a while for you to say it. And to answer your question I didn't really have to use a line for girls." I just rolled my eyes and turned back around to put in my order.
"Hi my name is Jessica. What can I get you?"
"Uh, can I have a vanilla rooibos tea latte please and are you guys hiring?"
"Can I have a vanilla rooibos tea latte please?" Yelling in the back. "Do you have any training?"
"No, but I am a fast learner I will be here every single day when you need me, and I will always be on time."
"Okay when can you start and that will be 5 dollars please."
I took out the money from my purse and handed it to her. "Here you go and I can start today."
"Great, there is in apron in the back and I haven't got to the table over there yet so do you mind handling that for me."
"Sure."
"Oh and here is your tea."
"Thank you." Grabbing the tea and going in the back to get the little apron. I took off me sweater and putted it on the hanger with my purse in between my sweater so no one could see it than putted my hair into a messy bun and started working.
I went over to the table that Jessica told me to and saw that it was Cameron, too good for school, Phil, and Ian. I acted like I didn't see them so when I went over to them I had my head down grabbing my note pad.
"Hi my name is Loren what can I get you?"
"Hey love." Ian said.
"Hi can I get you anything?"
"A side of you." Cameron said.
I kept my best not to say anything smart so I wouldn't get fired but I was tempted to say something. To keep my mouth busy I asked them again. "I can just come back if you want more time."
"No were ready right guys." Too good for school said.
"Okay what can I get you?"
"I will have a chocolate shake with large fries and they will have cokes going all around."
"I will be right back with your order." I left to go and place in the order and then went over to Melissa and Adam.
"What are you doing?" Melissa asked me.
"Working."
"You got the job that fast."
"Yep, do you guys want to order something?"
"No I think we are good right, Adam."
"Yeah we're good thanks anyway."
"Okay."
I left there table and went over to another table to place their order in. Then I went back to the first table I was serving and putted there fries and drinks on the table and left. I came back after fifteen minutes.
"Here is your check." I told them.
"Uh, whose turn is it to pay?"
"Yours mate."
"Oh right I will just come up to the register."
"Okay." I went to the register and he followed by getting in line.
"So that will be 11.65."
"I wanted to say something to you."
"Okay what is it?" Grabbing the money from his hand.
"I wanted to say sorry."
"Wow, too good for school can apologize I am shocked." I said in a joking manner.
"Not for me for Cameron being a jerk and slapping your ass."
"That was him."
"Yep I surprise you didn't see him."
"I was looking everywhere but I guess I didn't see him and here is your change." I handed him the change.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome and by the way I didn't need an apology from you I needed an apology from your ass hole of a friend over there."
"Trust me you will not get one."
"Good to know."
I was now done with all of my customers and I left to go home. Before I got home I picked up Chinese food just to be safe just an case my dad wasn't there rather be safe than sorry. I pulled into the driveway got out of the car and locked the car and went inside the house. I saw my dad drinking some of his scotch.
"I brought dinner."
"Well put it on the table."
"Do you want some?"
"No."
I didn't say a word after that. After I finished eating I went upstairs to put my pajamas on and opened up my diary to write about how my day was.
Dear Diary,
Today was the first day of my new school. Everyone seemed nice in all but I still felt like I wasn't wanted there, like if I did a wrong move there was no going back. I don't want people to know about my life and I will do whatever it takes for people not to know about it because it is too painful for myself to even think about it. I try to keep my guard up but all I want to do is let it fall. I want to be able to let it down but if I do let down, I will have my heart broken and I have had my heart broken so many times I am not going to make that mistake again…