A/N: I debated so much with myself on how to finish this one-shot? I actually don't know how to feel about it. Hm. The title of the story is the title of a song by Band of Horses. You should check them out! They are fantastic :) Oh, and I hope you like this, Halle!
REVIEW and tell me what you thought! It would mean a lot.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Degrassi.
I.
He's dressed in an old suit Bullfrog gave him, his hair slick and combed back by Cece's command. He's on the rocky roof of the school, eyes glazed by alcohol, the stars' light reflected on his green orbs. And he thinks how beautiful the stars shine in the sky, a feeling of happiness washing over him for a moment.
He took a swing at the beer in his hand.
It tasted bitter, and unconsciously, he bit his lip.
He wondered where she was that night. Was she with another man? Did she move on already, leaving him behind in the dust again? Or was she in the school gym, dancing with Alli, like the night they broke up?
And he stares at the stars, and he doesn't want to see them anymore.
II.
He's walking down the street, his legs wobbly.
It's a struggle to keep himself up as he chuckles to himself and finishes another bottle of beer, throwing it against a wall. It shatters beneath his feet, and his heart aches.
His fist hits the brick wall and his legs are kicking it, trying to make it fall to set him free.
He falls on the ground, tired. Water falls, and he wonders where she is as he throws his heart against the wall.
III.
His eyes stare at the door.
When he was little, he would walk by this street, and he would stare at the oak tree next to the house. And he remembers there being a family with a small daughter and he remembers her being small and looking like a bear and he wanted to hug her because she was always crying.
And he remembers, when he was little, not being able to knock on their door.
And he still doesn't remember if he ever did, but light shined on his face that night.
IV.
"I miss you," he says, falling to his feet, her arms catching him. "I miss you," his lips kiss her shoulder.
"You're drunk."
He shakes his head. "I'm not, I'm not."
He stares up at her eyes, and he doesn't know if she looked worried or mad or disappointed.
"Eli…" she whispers, her brows furrowed. "What where you thinking?"
He takes a moment to let her question sink in, and he begins to shake in her arms. "…You."
She scoffs. "Eli –"
"I'm always thinking about you. About your skin and how you kiss me and how I hold you – and how you," he stops, his eyes drooping close, "how you smell, Clare –"
"Come on, come inside."
She tried pulling him in, but he stayed still.
"I can't."
She stares at him.
"You'll just throw me out again if you do."