This took me almost two years to complete, but I finally have a new story. And yes, it's another silly one.
Disclaimer: I don't own Power Rangers.
The Reluctant Mary Sue
By
Eileen (Psycho Tangerine)
It was a typical Monday afternoon and Ernie's Juice Bar was bustling as usual with teenagers. Kids were talking, laughing, studying, and participating in a variety of physical activities, including the two couples making out under the tables. So no one paid much attention to the new girl as she entered.
Julie looked around curiously. Her first day at Angel Grove High School had gone pretty well, but had also been a bit weird. Since when did high schools have 'show and tell'? She figured she needed a break before heading home to continue unpacking. Julie had overheard about the juice bar at school and decided to see it for herself.
She looked around the place. It seemed nice. Maybe she would sit at one of the empty tables and watch the students who were using the gym equipment. Two students were doing some kind of karate judo thingy on the mats. Nearby, a girl in a tight, pink leotard flipped around on a balance beam. Julie continued to observe as sweat flew from two students doing the jujitsu kung-fu thingy and landed on the burger of another young man who was ogling the gymnast. She gagged as he distractedly picked up his burger and took a bite of it.
Julie sat at the counter, as far from the mats as possible. She opened up her Biology textbook and began her homework.
"Hello there."
Julie looked up to see a heavyset man in a Hawaiian shirt spit-shining a glass. "Um, hi."
"You must be new here. My name is Ernie and I am the owner of this fine establish…" Crunch! "Bulk! How many times have I told you not to sit on those wooden chairs! Great, another afternoon with the wood glue," grumbled Ernie. He looked back to Julie. "What can I get for you? We specialize in smoothies here."
"Can I have a chocolate banana smoothie?" asked Julie.
Everyone in hearing distance gasped in shock.
"Are you nuts?" asked Ernie. "What kind of deranged person would drink that? The menu is up there."
Julie looked up at the list of available smoothies. "Rhubarb Parsley Garlic Smoothie, Broccoli Radish Alfalfa Smoothie, Kale Spinach Beet Smoothie…Ewwwwwww! Who would want to drink that?"
"Anyone loyal to the memory of the original Green Ranger," replied Ernie with a sigh. "Best Power Ranger they ever had."
"The new White one's better!" called a long haired man in a white t-shirt from across the room. Julie recognized him as the one eating the sweat-covered burger.
"In your dreams, Tommy!" retorted Ernie.
"I think I'll just have lemonade and some fries," said Julie as she resumed her homework. Two minutes later she felt breathing down her neck. Julie looked up and found six pairs of eyes staring at her. "Uh…am I in someone's seat?"
"You're a new student, aren't you?" asked a petite brunette wearing pink. Julie recognized her as the gymnast.
"Yeah, my name's Julie. I just started today, why?" She had been hoping to make a few friends eventually; but these six were making her just a bit uncomfortable with their staring.
"Ooh, this is so exciting!" squealed the gymnast. "We are going to be the bestest of friends!" She gave Julie a quick hug.
"Hey!" protested Julie.
"Kimberly, don't be so ridiculous," said a dark-skinned girl wearing a yellow blouse.
Julie sighed in relief. At least this person had some common…
"She's going to be my best friend! Hi, I'm Aisha and we'll have sleepovers and do each other's hair and makeup!" She also gave Julie a hug.
"I don't even know you two," complained Julie. "What makes you think I want to be your best friend?"
"What indeed?" asked Kim as she glared at Aisha. "She's my best friend and will hang out at the mall with me every Saturday. How many bags can your boyfriend carry?" she asked Julie.
"I don't have a…"
"No! She's going to help me run fire safety drills every…"
As the girls continued to bicker, Julie looked for an opening in the group that she could dive through. There, just to the right…She began to head for it…and bumped into another person.
"Hi, I'm beautiful," began a young Asian man in black workout clothes whom Julie recognized as one of the sweaty karate guys, "and I think you're Adam. I mean…"
"Not the phony shy guy act again," moaned another young man wearing similar workout clothes in red. "Besides, she's going to fall in love with me, not you. Name's Rocky, Babe." He put his arm around Julie's shoulder.
"Do you mind?" snapped Julie as she shrugged the arm off her. "Why would I just fall in love with you? I don't know you."
"Precisely, her imminent pronouncements of adoration will transpire when she ultimately comprehends that I have converted into the factual object of her aspiration."
"What did…" began Julie as she stared at a sandy haired young man in a blue plaid button down shirt.
"Never mind Billy," replied Tommy as he pulled Kim off Aisha before she could get in a good face scratch. "He keeps forgetting we can't translate a human dictionary."
"Oh," said Julie lamely as she looked for another avenue of escape.
"Hey!" said Kim as she and Aisha bounced up to Julie. "We came to a decision…"
"That you will get some mental help?" muttered Julie.
"…and you will be both of our bestest friend!" finished Aisha.
"Oh joy." Julie made another dive for an opening. This time she was blocked by several bouquets of flowers and boxes of candy being shoved in her face. "Did you just pull those out of thin air?" she asked the three boys who were offering the gifts.
"Exnay on using the imensionalday ocketpay!" hissed Tommy as he took the items from them and placed them on the counter.
"Thank you," said Julie with relief.
"Besides…wait, something just doesn't seem right." Tommy stared even more closely at Julie, making her feel even more uncomfortable.
"You know," said Aisha thoughtfully as she walked around Julie with her hand scratching her chin. "Something is wrong about you."
"It's the look!" cried Kim with realization as she stared at Julie's somewhat flat chest, dull brown hair and plain brown eyes. "This will never do!"
"Not if you are to fall in love with me," said Rocky.
"Or me," said Adam.
"Now what are you…?" Julie began as she felt a hand tightly grab her wrist.
"Come on!" cried Kim as she and Aisha dragged her away. "We have to make this right!"
Julie struggled, but for some reason couldn't break free of the two determined girls. She found herself in the ladies' room being poked and prodded. "Stop that!" she cried as she tried to push them off her with no success. "Ow! What are you doing to my hair? That's too tight! Are you trying to poke my eyes out?" This continued for another half-hour until the two other girls were satisfied with the 'improvements.'
"Are you insane?" sputtered Julie who spied herself in a mirror as the girls pulled her back out of the restroom. "Why do I have long sparkling red and gold hair? And what kind of freak has Day-Glo purple eyes?"
"They're amethyst," corrected Kimberly.
"Oh, I am now even more in love," sighed Adam as he gazed at Julie's new appearance. "Those lovely eyes."
"What a figure," agreed Rocky. Billy nodded in agreement as they both took in Julie's dramatic change in shape.
"I can't breathe in this thing!" gasped Julie who had gone from a size ten to a size one while at the same time gaining five cup sizes from whatever was now squeezing her torso.
"She's perfect," sighed Aisha. "I bet she could do just about anything."
"No, seriously," wheezed Julie as she pawed at her waist. "Loosen this thing so I can breathe."
Tommy pulled a pair of tickets out of his pocket. "Hey, Beautiful," he said, staring into her eyes. "How about being my lovely date to the Prom next week? I can make it very special for you."
"Tommy!" whined Kim. "I thought I was your 'Beautiful'! And you said we were going to prom together!" She then glared at Julie. "I hate you, you slut. You and I are mortal enemies!"
Julie just rolled her eyes, "You are all insane!"
"What is the origin of that piece of adornment?" asked Billy as he pointed to a heart shaped pendant Julie was wearing.
Before Julie could answer, Tommy whipped a strange device out of his pocket. "Zordon, come in. We may have found the answer to our problems."
"Teleport to the Command Center with your guest," replied a voice.
Julie had no time to react to the new voice before she felt someone grabbing her arm and then being teleported to a strange new place. She whipped around as best she could with her squashed in body. There were lights, and computers, and… "What…the…hell…is…that?" she asked as she took in the bald head floating in some kind of tube.
"Welcome, I am Zordon, an interdimensional being and mentor to the Power Rangers. I have brought you here because your otherworldly beauty and great skill tells me you may be one to hold great power.
"Beauty?" asked Julie dismissively. "I look like a rainbow colored mutant! And how would you know what I can do? You morons just met me!" She felt whatever was around her waist finally give way a little with all her yanking and breathed a slight sigh of relief as she went up to a size two. "Hey!" she protested as Kim grabbed her pendant and held it up.
"Zordon, this pendant seems really mysterious. Do you think Julie could have gotten it from her mother just before she was murdered as her little girl was taken away to safety?"
"Or maybe it came from a mysterious uncle who had planned on turning her evil and is now hunting through galaxies for her," suggested Rocky.
"Nah," said Tommy. "I bet she found it herself on a quest to Atlantis to learn about her true family."
Julie began to stare at them again. Then decided to settle for just banging her head on a console.
"Ah, how fortunate for us and for all of Earth," boomed Zordon. "For that is surely the enchanted diamond heart pendant of Planet Sweetnessandlovejewels."
"No, this is a cheap thing I got at K-mart last week for twenty bucks. They had a whole pile of them."
But no one seemed to hear Julie. "I am honored to be in your presence, Princess JuliettaMargueritteAmedeliaLuciandaChrysanthemum of Planet Sweetnessandlovejewels," said Zordon. "Your late grandmother would be pleased to know you still bear the sacred pendant she had placed around your infant neck before sacrificing herself in a fight against the super evil Grand Emperor HideosoBarfus."
"Princess Juliette…never mind. Is there a way to get out of here?" asked Julie. "I really need to get back to my biology homework. And…uh…I have go see about that root canal I've been putting off. Besides both of my grandmothers are alive and well. Now," she said as she turned to leave, "how the hell do I get out of this nuthouse?"
WOOTWOOTWOOTWOOTWOOTWOOTWOOTWOOT…
"Fire!" cried Julie as began hunting even more desperately for a way out.
"Rangers!" boomed Zordon. "Lord Zedd has sent his most terrifying monster yet. Behold the Msapplebyasaurus." He nodded to the viewing globe showing a mutated form of their high school teacher stomping around and ordering citizens to go to detention.
"So that's why we had substitute teachers all day," commented Adam.
"Ok, Rangers," said Tommy. "Let's morph and take care of this."
"Wait," said Kim as she looked at Julie who was now pounding on the wall and crying for help. "What about her? We could use her help."
"Ayiyi do you Rangers not know anything?" asked Alpha. "What is rule fifty-three?"
They thought for a few minutes until Billy's face lit up. "The novel and clandestine Ranger is to remain concealed until we have all become incapacitated and the behemoth has reached colossal proportions." With that, they morphed and went to fight their teacher.
Julie turned around at the sudden silence. "Oh, finally. Now maybe I can get this stuff off." She began to desperately pull at the red and gold wig only to realize that it had actually been crazy glued to her scalp. "Someone's paying for my trip to the hairdresser!"
"Princess JuliettaMargueritteAmedeliaLuciandaChrysanthemum," boomed Zordon. "I have analyzed your precious pendant. It is indeed the rarest and most powerful morpher in the universe."
Julie sighed as she gave up on the hair and began pulling at the constricting girdle instead. "Are you people really that stupid? I got this on sale from K-mart. There was a whole bunch of them. How can it be rare?"
Zordon continued as if she had said nothing. "When the Rangers need you I will send you down. All you have to do is morph by saying 'DiamondEmeraldRubySapphireSweetnessandLove Powers!' and you will morph into the most formidable warrior ever. You will be a thousand times stronger, faster, and graceful than any Ranger ever. You will have the powers of invisibility, mind reading, telekinesis, and flight."
"You have got to be kidding," said Julie. "Now, seriously, how the hell do I get out of this insane asylum?" She went back to banging on the walls of the Command Center in hopes of finding a secret door.
"Zordon!" cried Tommy over the communications console. "Msapplebyasaurus has grown gigantic! We can't fight her! She's sent the Thunder Megazord to time out and is making my poor Tigerzord write on the board!" The viewing globe now showed the Megazord sitting on a gigantic stool with a dunce cap on its head and the Tigerzord writing 'I will not destroy Msapplebyasaurus' over and over again on a blackboard.
Julie stared at the bizarre scene and shook her head. "Really? These are the heroes defending Angel Grove?"
"Not to worry, Rangers," boomed Zordon. "I will send your newest team member." He looked at Julie. "Now morph and fulfill your destiny, Princess JuliettaMargueritteAmedeliaLuciandaChrysanthemum."
Julie stared back blankly. "You actually expect me to say 'Diamond and some other crap powers,' and…"
"Close enough," said Zordon as Alpha Five ran over and shoved more stuff on her.
"Cut that out!" cried Julie who now struggled against the little robot that was much stronger than it appeared. She groaned as she saw her reflection in one of the shinier control panels. She now had on a purple jumpsuit bedazzled with cheap rhinestones. On her head was a football helmet also painted purple and bedazzled. A plastic tiara was glued to the helmet. "Oh come on now! This isn't even a…"
"Alpha!" boomed Zordon. "The Rangers need help! Teleport the princess to the battleground!"
"Wait, what?" cried Julie as she was teleported to the ground. She looked around…and screamed as she saw the towering teacher hovering over her.
"Uh, I've got this gun thingy," began Julie as she held up the day-glo pink plastic gun that had been attached to her Ranger 'outfit.'
Boom! Squish!
"Ew, not again," said Kim as the Thunder Megazord and Tigerzord both handed Msapplebyasaurus ticking apples.
"Zordon is getting as forgetful as Tommy," sighed Adam.
"At least he didn't send her down naked like he did with the last one," said Rocky.
"Uh, Zordon?" asked Tommy into his communicator. "I think you forgot to make a Zord for her."
"Oopsie," said Zordon as the apples exploded, causing Ms. Appleby to shrink back down to normal and run home screaming.
"My supposition is we shall encounter yet another temporary instructor as she undergoes intense psychotherapy," commented Billy.
"Hey!" cried Aisha. "I just remembered. There was a new guy in my social studies class today as well!"
"A wonderful new friend!" cried all the Rangers as they demorphed and ran back to the juice bar.
AN: Yes, I squished my poor Mary Sue victim. I just couldn't resist. I also know this story was stupid but I just had to write it. Reviews will be appreciated.