Started: unknown, 2005/2006?
Finished: Aug 5, 2007
Disclaimer: Yoroiden Samurai Troopers are owned by Bandai Entertainment. Not me.
Throwing Caution to the Wind
Kaosuno Kayura was being watched.
That by itself was not surprising. In her short but varied lifetime, Kayura had grown used to being watched. The secret to it was, of course, taking it for granted, and the events of her life had conditioned her to it so much she had become quite used to it, almost careless of it. Being an only child of her parents, prized future hopeful of her clan, her every move was tracked by the village community. After her village was destroyed, her eventual position as a trusted emissary of Arago (and Little Yojakai Princess as Naaza-san had referred to her, though without malice) and counter-intelligence agent among the lords of the Empire made her presence in the Yojakai public eye quite necessary. While those suspected of treasonous activity (and there were many) she directly dealt with were distracted by her small human appearance and graceful movements as she either scrutinized, cut them down, or neutralized them, theEmpire's allies were charmed by her youth and ladylike, modest demeanor while she sat with them and showed them various weapons from Arago's prized collection or displayed her skills in poetry and sword dancing for their entertainment.
Now that she was known as The Last Scion of Kaosu, (aka 'Our Little Brat', as referred to by the san-Masho when they thought she could not hear them, since they could no longer refer to the Troopers as 'Those Five Little Brats') she could not help attracting attention everywhere she went in the Yojakai. Fortunately, the discipline and calmness instilled by her training had borne her through her later positions with calm and poise. The san-Masho's tacit acknowledgment of her movements and whereabouts in that world were reassuring, and gave her a sense of security and confidence badly needed in the turbulent days after Arago fell to the Samurai Troopers. Having her movements monitored by them did not disturb her at all.
What WAS surprising was the fact that she was being watched in the Ningenkai, where she had temporarily made her home for several years, until she finished her spiritual retreats and training. This was the last place she expected to draw any untoward attention, though she supposed she could handle it. The real fame and attention in the Ningenkai she knew, belonged to Yagyu Nasutei and the Troopers, and she would not omit any opportunity to direct it there.
But what she could not get used to was Tenku no Hashiba Touma watching her.
It was odd, to say the least. It was overwhelming, to say the most. There was nothing in the san-Masho's reports that would indicate the securing of the Yojakai, and therefore the security of the Ningenkai, was in danger. But Tenku was watching her, and she had no idea why.
That was not quite true.
Actually, she had some idea why, and the very notion, the very concept was so unsettling that her mind skittered away from it every time she tried to review it, just to keep her head from exploding. She was now sitting in the dim light of Nasutei's dusty attic, alone and away from everyone else, finally trying to hash this out.
This would be much easier if her young excitable half would cooperate. This half was squealing and jumping up and down, saying how HANDSOME and SMART and MANLY and BRAVE Tenku was and idly wondered which would be too forward, wearing a sign saying I LIKE YOU TOO, or setting up an ambush in the woods behind Nasutei-dono's house.
Her other half, the more sensible and decorous half, smacked her excitable half and threatened it with possible humiliation and disappointment if it didn't calm down and allow a review. After all, this was Tenku they were discussing.
It took longer than it should have for her excitable side to hunker down, but it did, and she finally decided to start with the other Troopers. Not that they and she were particularly close, but she had noticed a change in the way they talked to her. Particularly Shin-kun and Seiji-san—both of them had the better manners, but the events of the past always allowed them to address her as just Kayura. Now they called her Kayura-san. Seiji even addressed her as Kaosuno-san that one time when they were in public together. Rekka-san's manners were always a little off due to his living in relative isolation, but straightforward, always with obviously good intentions. Shu-kun's nature was still genki and open as ever, but lately both Rekka and Shu were acting, well, as if they were trying to be more proper with her in manner. More respectful, as if she were not three years younger than them developmentally and a lifetime's culturally their junior. It would be comic, if they weren't being so strangely earnest about it.
If that was just it, Kayura would have explained it away as Tenku suspecting something and trying to warn his friends to keep their distance for safety's sake. He never flaunted it, but concerning the Yojakai, if he told the Troopers to jump, they would pause in mid-air and ask him how high. No, sighed her excitable half, he commands SO much better than that. Her sensible half ignored that comment.
And then there were Jun-kun's and Shu-kun's comments. A week ago, she had overheard (quite by accident, of course) a conversation between those two regarding herself and Nasutei. Shu had made a remark of Seiji-san being a lucky man with something like wistfulness.
Picking up on Shu's tone, Jun had said cheerily "Why don't you try for Kayura? She's loyal, nice, and smart."
Kayura was amused at the boy's cheek, but then, really, who was she to argue with his statement?
"Yeah, and she cooks like blah."
She had felt a prick of resentment at the remark. Shu was certainly exaggerating; her admittedly limited cooking skill was certainly not up to par with Nasutei's—but her efforts were edible! (If monotonous.) But then Shu redeemed himself. "She's a nice girl, but it would never work. Besides, Touma has his sights set on her and I'm not getting involved."
Kayura was speechless.
"Touma-nichan sure has his work cut out for him," Jun sighed and Kayura was struck with a mental picture of the youth shaking his head.
"Ah, don't worry. Touma's stood up and fallen down against her, but in the end he'll get his way. He usually does."
He usually does.
Remembering this conversation, even now, made Kayura's cheeks burn with mingled embarrassment and pleased excitement. Her sensible cautious half had to beat her excitable half down hard now and finally hauled out the cannon of Reasons Against the Idea.
Nasutei.
Not Nasutei-dono, her the excitable half grinned. She won't have any objection to it, I'm sure. Or don't you remember The Scroll Incident?
Kayura covered her face with her hands. It was the latest reminder of Tenku's behavior. Sometimes, looking up from old manuscripts, books and teacups, she would catch him gazing at her oddly over his own book or cup with one of two types of gazes.
The first was as if she was a prized bit of fatty tuna sushi and he was a cat just thinking about the right opportunity to pounce on her. The second gaze was more hard and speculative, as if he was considering the embarrassing chance she could possibly be a remake of Arago's residue impersonating her again, sans amulet. Then on the times she would break the silence out of discomfort, to her relief and frustration, he would easily change the subject, as if nothing at all was the matter; or rather the matter was all in her head.
Yesterday afternoon she and Tenku were examining Nasutei's latest prize find—an exquisite scroll depicting the legend of Kikotei in flowing black script. Both Kayura and Tenku were so engrossed in reading it she didn't hear Nasutei excuse herself to fetch them all some tea. When she had finished the section nearest her, she made to move to the next section, and looked up at Tenku, who was close by her side, and found herself staring up in his eyes. He had that cat-looking-at-sushi look again. Kayura tried to say something, but found she had nothing to say after all, and stood there like an unguarded openmouthed idiot. She would have stayed that way indefinitely, if she hadn't heard the tinkle of china and whipped her gaze to the door.
Nasutei was standing in the doorway holding the tea tray, with an odd look on her face. In fact, Kayura belatedly realized in the attic, it was that pleased KAWAII! look Nasutei had in her eye, that same look she exhibited when Kayura reluctantly appeared dressed in exquisite Yagyu heirloom kimono to help with Nasutei's hostess duties when she had her students over for the quarterly formal tea. At the time, Kayura was too flustered to take notice as she was in a sudden hurry to "help" Nasutei with the tea tray. But Nasutei had brushed off her attempts and sat down between them, asking Tenku about a section of the scroll. He turned his head, and just as Kayura was relievedly thinking again this latest episode must either be all in her head or at least over for now, that worldly wise Nasutei met her gaze out of corner of her eye.
And smiled.
Knowingly.
The silly half was screaming and jumping up and down again. All right, all right, said her decorous half. So Nasutei suspects the same. So she likes the idea. Maybe she's just glad Touma is accepting her engagement to Seiji-san and is getting over his attachment to her. He certainly feels strongly about his friends. And he's quite stubborn about them as well.
And that was reason Number Two.
The silly half froze, and the decorous half continued on.
You don't suppose that he's using us to get over Nasutei-dono, do you? She is so smart, so accomplished, so sophicated…All the more reason to proceed with caution. We need to be SURE.
Kayura sighed.
Certainty. Her family, Kokuenyo, Sh'ten…Everyone who had ever helped her, had shown her some warmth, was gone. What was certain anymore? She leaned against the wall, a hot wet prickling at the corners of her eyes. She automatically widened them and sniffed hard to stop it. A daughter of the buke does not cry, but endures. Kokuenyo had told her so once, and then again, and again. What good is crying? It will not change things. Focus on the task at hand.
Focus.
I have decided, Kayura thought. And now I cannot face him. Not now. I shall have to spend the day here, in the attic.
She shifted position and clasped her hands together. She began to steady her breathing, to begin the meditation. Her eyes slid almost closed, and she was gone drifting in that odd soothing sort of semi-consciousness. Every sound, every scent, every touch seemed magnified and sharpened—the distant rumble of thunder, the gentle pitter-patter of rain, the smell of dusty books and old ink, mingled with a slight draft of spring. The faint shudder of someone slamming a door, the echo of footsteps on wood, china tinkling, clothing rustling.
Her eyelids lifted and she found herself sitting in the light of a single lightbulb. Night had fallen. She sighed and turned her head to look at Tenku-dono sitting cross-legged a respectful distance away. In front of him was a tray with a teapot and bowls for soup, rice, and tea, untouched. His head was bowed over a book and she had a sudden urge to touch that blue hair. There was a time under Arago' s rule when she thought she had never before seen such blue, the color of the Ningenkai sky… Such a beautiful color…
She looked away, facing forward again.
"Konbawa."
She looked at him again. Tenku had closed his book and risen in the seiza position. He drew the tray close to him, and looked at her with his usual level, detached demeanor.
"You were in the attic all day. Nasti was worried when you did not come down to dinner."
Kayura had realized that she would be missed during her meditation, but she had not bothered to let anyone know. She swallowed, realizing her hunger had brought her out of the trance. "I had not meant to stay this long. Is..is there anything to eat?"
"I've been waiting for you. Come and eat with me."
She hesitated, and then timidly scooted forward. "I'm sorry, Tenku-dono. I did not mean to—" Her apology ground to a halt. Tenku was rolling his eyes in exasperation.
"You're worse than Shin! It's no trouble at all! Nasti's used to this. I wake up late, so I eat late all the time. This is just a snack for me." He lifted a lid and began transferring some rice into a bowl. To Kayura's surprise he set the bowl of rice, not in front of him, but in front of her. He picked up the soup pot and began pouring into her soup bowl. "Tell me when to stop."
Kayura was so shocked at being served by a male she nearly did not answer him in time. "Th—thank you. That is enough."
He looked at her while pouring them some tea. "Are you sure? I promised Nasti you will eat this time. If you don't take your share now, I'll eat the rest."
She shook her head a tiny bit, her appetite suddenly lessened by the sudden prospect of eating alone with the one person she was wary of receiving alone. "Itadakimasu," she sighed, and lifted her bowl.
They ate in silence. Kayura was thankful at first that Tenku evidently had an appetite, but after two careful bites, she was fretting over the lack of conversation, and her inexplicable ability to remedy it.
Then she was annoyed at herself for her skittishness. Didn't Tenku say he didn't mind at all? The best compensation for a weak defense is a strong offense. Go ahead and broach the subject.
The thought made her stiffen. No, I can't. It's different now.
"You're not eating. What's the matter?"
Kayura's face grew hot. Why did it seem he was noting her every move? She swallowed and took a deep breath. "Tenku-dono."
He looked up at her from his soup.
Kayura nearly burst out laughing at the sight of an eggplant slice hanging out of Tenku's mouth. She clapped her hand over her mouth, and Tenku sucked the eggplant in his mouth and out of sight in no time at all, but she could not help giggling at Tenku's startled expression. If the Yojakai bards could see him now…
"Gomen nasai," she smiled. "You looked so funny, so…undignified with that eggplant just now…I was thinking that the Yojakai storytellers would be in disenchanted shock if they ever saw Tenku-The-Legendary-Strategist eat." She smothered a giggle.
She half expected him to be angry, but he smiled instead. It was a genuine smile, too, with no hint of discomfort. "That's the first time I've heard you laugh since you came to stay with Nasti. I was wondering…if anything was amiss."
She looked at him, still startled by his reaction, and took his meaning. "No. No, there is nothing to be worried about." The opening was here, now, and she could not resist it. "Is that why you were watching me?"
He put down his soup and picked up his rice bowl, intent on starting on his rice. "Partly. I trust you and the san-Masho, of course, but I never thought your disciplinary practices were so …er, ascetic." He cleared his throat and looked at her. "I was wondering if you were happy doing this."
"It is not a matter of happiness, Tenku-dono. It is a matter of duty. I thought you of all people would know that," she exclaimed with some asperity.
"I do know that," he answered. "Believe me, I know. But you show such easy power and strength in fighting. Is it so necessary now to…enhance that?"
She looked at him again, realizing for the first time that he, and Nasutei-dono, and the other Troopers, really were ignorant of her weaknesses. How could she expect them to assume otherwise, when all they saw and remembered was Yojakai-no-Kayura, Agent of the Yojakai? "It is very necessary. If I do not practice, I…lose control of myself." She explained quietly. "I never want that to happen again."
He regarded her curiously. "Surely Sh'ten's yoroi and Kaosu's Shakujo would prevent…."
Remembering Badamon's possession of her mind and body, as well as the skepticism she faced from a battleworn Rekka, Tenku, and Kongo after they defeated Arago's residue impersonating her made Kayura wince. "Sh'ten's yoroi…" she paused, trying to remember just what Rajura, Naaza, and Anubisu had related to her of the day when, Sh'ten, newly recruited, had first turned on them with the Koraisen. "Sh'ten's yoroi is meant to protect the young, to protect their innocence, I think," she said slowly. "At least, that was Sh'ten's wish. But I cannot remain young and innocent forever. I'm outgrowing the yoroi, and I will always need more discipline and strength to carry the Shakujo. There is no one left of my clan who can instruct me, so I must find other ways." She looked down at her soup bowl, and pushed at the vegetables with her chopsticks. "The sooner the better, for innocence and ignorance is not desirable."
He stopped eating, rice and chopsticks midway to his mouth. "Innocence is not a bad thing, Kayura," Tenku insisted. "And ignorance is not shameful, if one tries to learn and overcome it."
She looked at him. "Innocence combined with ignorance can be very bad, Tenku-dono. Together, they produce cruelty."
He was quiet for a moment. Then he put the bit of rice in his mouth. "So they tell tales of the Samurai Troopers in the Yojakai?"
She regarded him with some amusement at the change of subject. Apparently he didn't want to go that far yet. "Oh, yes. Rekka-dono is their particular favorite. And they still marvel over your strategic maneuvers against me. To be fair, they tell stories of the Masho as well. But then,"she considered, "Kikotei is currently the ultimate saga in the Yojakai, or was when I left it. Which reminds me…I saw some drawings of some strange blue and gray armor in Nasutei-dono's study."
He stared at her.
"I didn't mean to pry," she explained levelly. "I saw them posted on the walls when I went in to get a book. I…thought they were some fanciful pictures someone drew of the Yoroi. Doesn't the Ningenkai tell tales of the Samurai Troopers too? I would have thought there would be plays and stories now."
His response was flat. "None."
She was surprised. "None?"she echoed.
His face was devoid of expression. "None at all."
"Ah." Kayura looked down at her soup, biting her lip. The Troopers saved the Ningenkai but got no recognition, none at all. But she and the san-Masho used to spread Arago's evil over the Yojakai… and now they could not even appear outside the castle without requiring a retinue and causing a spectacle. How ironic.
She sipped some broth and made another try at conversation, trying to keep her tone casual and curious. "Well, then, who drew the pictures? They're beautiful."
Tenku looked down at his now empty rice bowl. "They came with a manuscript of a Yoroi Play. From the Edo Period." He seemed to be struggling with a decision, and Kayura waited a little impatiently, her curiosity roused. "The original drawings are in Nasutei's office at the University. I can take you there, if you like. But we'd have to take my bike."
"Oh, yes!" She had shouted her answer before she caught herself. The prospect of sitting behind Tenku on his motorbike, hugging him for dear life as they sped over the open road, was too exciting. "I mean yes, please," she amended demurely, keeping her eyes on the tray as she helped him stack the empty dishes on it. "If you don't mind."
He was grinning now, laughing at her, but in a nice way. "Tomorrow afternoon, then? We can eat there and come back in time for your evening meditation."
She smiled in turn. He was just at the attic door with his book and tray when something occurred to her. "Sumimasen, Tenku-dono."
He looked at her.
"You said the Yojakai was partly the reason you were watching me. Is there… another reason?"
Was it the lighting, or did he look suddenly…shy?
"I wasn't sure…if you wanted to go someplace with me. But now…"
He smiled at her. Her excitable half fainted dead away, which was a good thing, since her decorous half was melting at this point under that brilliant, warm, sure gaze.
"…I know. Don't forget to turn off the light when you're done. Oyasumi nasai, Kayura." She stood rooted to the spot, speechless again, as he turned away and went downstairs.
He knows. Her decorous half could not help repeating those words over and over and over again in her head. (Her silly half was off making some poetic comparisons between the morning sun breaking out from behind Fuji-san and Tenku's smile.) He knows!
For the life of her, Kayura could not figure out what just happened. But all she knew for certain now was this:
Tomorrow afternoon could not come any sooner.
And really, who was she to doubt Tenku-dono? If he was sure…
I'm sure, too.
The End