June: This whole idea came from YaoiRocks! And as soon as she said it, I just had to write it! If you wanna hear the song so you can hear the tune go to youtube and search 'Bring it On Cheer Opening'.
Dedication: This is dedicated to YaoiRocks for giving me the idea. Aniki did I tell you that my New Years resolution was to learn gymnastics so I could be a cheerleader? XD Maybe I can get on the Akatsuki squad!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, The Akatsuki or The 'Bring it On Cheer'
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Bring it On Akatsuki!
Written By June
Idea from YaoiRocks
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"Konan-chan! Hurry up!" Kisame yelled grabbing Konan's hand and pulling her towards the highschool gym.
"Kisame! What's going on!? Why are we at a highschool!?" The kunoichi yelled thoroughly confused. Kisame ignored and yanked her into the gym before running off and sitting behind a camera, Konan was stood there in a daze until she realised that Kakuzu was stood next to her. "Kakuzu what the hell is going on!?" She asked the money hungry man.
"Did you forget? Today is when we find out who the new cheerleading captain is! It's a shame to see Pein step down. Now if you excuse me I shall sell some of this Akatsuki Cheer Squad merchandise." Kakuzu answered leaving Konan stood there dumbfounded.
Suddenly the lights went off, and a spotlight appeared in the middle of the gym floor, the crowds in the stands started going wild. The spotlight seemed to search the gym floor, but Konan's sharp eyes picked up that it was avoiding certain spots. Then music began to play, almost like a surge of noise, a drumroll in a way. The spotlight finally found someone and Konan's eyes went wide as she saw who she was looking at.
Pein, the infamous Akatsuki leader, was wearing drag. Not just any drag, oh no, cheerleader drag. The outfit consisted of a black belly top with a red cloud on and a short black skirt. Whilst the belly top did give Konan a nice view of his abbs, Konan was rather disturbed at the sight of her leader crossdressing. Her surprise went even further when Pein opened his mouth and began to chant.
"I'm sexy, I'm cute!" Pein started to strut forward"I'm popular to boot!" The lights in the gyms turned on again and Konan almost yelped at the sight of six other Akatsuki members in the same cheerleader outfit, Pein strutted his way to stand in the middle of the six, so that they now stood in a V formation.
"I'm bitchin', great hair." They all chanted flicking their hair and twisted to the side. "The girls all love to stare!" They said patting their bums and winking at the crowd.
"I'm wanted, I'm hot!" They twisted to to the other side. "I'm everything you're not." They chanted as they slid both of their hands down their bodies in demonstration of their utter bishieness.
"I'm pretty, I'm cool." They chanted, strutting forward. "I dominate the school!" They sang as they jumped and raised a hand to make whipping motions.
"Who am I?" They continued pushing their hands forward in 'Stop' motion. "Just guess!" They all posed. "Girls wanna touch my chest" They sang crossing their arms and putting their hands on the opposite shoulders, almost as if they were covering their chests.
"I'm rockin', I smile," They sang as they changed formation, so a certain raven was at the front. "And many think I'm vile!" They chanted, bending over and flipping back up straight, their hair windswept and even more sexy.
"I fly, I jump," They sang as they jumped back into a horizontal line. "You can look but don't you hump!" They chanted as they rolled their hips in a sexy manner.
"Wooh!" They continued as they all jumped "I'm major, I roar!" and spun to the side, switching positions with one another. "I swear I'm not a whore!" They chanted as they rocked their hips so it looked like they were butt fucking with skirts on.
Changing formation once again. "We cheer and we lead!" They punched a fist in the air. "We act like we're on speed." They clapped their hands, then slapped them against their forearms then clapped once more.
"Hate us 'cause we're beautiful." The posed once more in a seductive position. "Well we don't like you either!" They sang as their flipped the audience off and pretended to throw punches and kicks at them, all in time with the beat.
"We're cheerleaders!" They backed up into their horizontal line again. "We. Are. Cheerleaders!" They chanted as they clapped in beat.
"Role-" They put their left hand on their left hips "-Call" They put their right hands on their right hip.
"Call me Leader!" Pein said posing with his hand pointing forward, as if leading.
"I'm H-H-H-Hidan!" Hidan said spanking his ass lightly.
"I'm S-S-S-Sasori!" Sasori said as he ran a hand through his red locks. "Meow!" He said as he pretended to claw the audience.
"Dude, it's Zetsu!" The green haired man said as he blew the audience a kiss.
"I'm D-D-Deidara, yeah!" The feminine blonde said as he punched a fist in the air.
"Just call me Tobi!" The orange masked idiot said as he waved a pair of orange pom-poms.
A violent shove sent Tobi flying as Pein took the stage once more. "I'm still The Leader!"
"I sizzle, I scorch!" A circle of flames surrounded him as proof. "But now I pass the torch!" The flames vanished. "The ballots are in, and one guy has to win! He's stoic, he won and he now he's number one! K-K-K-Kick it Itachi! I-I-I-Itachi!" Pein sang, pointing at the newly elected captain.
Itachi was busy spinning around in euphoria for a few moments before snapping out of it. "I'm strong, I'm not that loud, but I'm gonna make you proud." He sang shaking his hips. "I'm I-I-I-Itachi." He winked at the crowd. "Your Captain Itachi!" He sang as he pulled the band out of his ponytail so the raven hair came loose and framed his face.
"Let's Go Akatsuki!" Everyone in the audience started clapping with the cheerleaders. "We are the Akatsuki! The evil, evil Akatsuki! We're so awesome we must be Akatsuki!" And as their large finale the seven cheerleaders ripped off their cheerleading outfits leaving them completely nude, Konan who was by now absolutely horrified and let out a high pitched scream.
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Konan was sat up in bed screaming in horror, realising that she was in her bed she shut her mouth and clutched at her chest. "Holy shit!" She said as she gasped for breath.
It had all been a dream. A very disturbing dream.
Somone then knocked on the door "Konan-chan, you alright?" She heard Hidan ask.
"Fine." She replied, much more relieved after realising it was a dream. The door opened slightly and Hidan stepped in.
"Ne, what do you think?" Konan looked at Hidan with wide eyes and upon seeing the skirt and red pom-poms she promptly fainted.
"Jeez... I was just dressing up for the fancy dress party..." Hidan said shaking his head and walking out the blue haired kunoichis room.
xxx Owari xxx
June: And that is all of this disturbing little dream of Konan's, though I have no doubt that one day Orochimaru moonwalking and the Sannin being the Jackson Five will somehow become another one of these one-shots.
Reviews are much appreciated