When Mr. Wright dances into the office one morning carrying a skateboard, wearing shades, and a backwards cap that looks suspiciously stuck to his hair, Apollo and Athena know that something horrible is going to happen.

"What's crack-a-lackin' homies?" greets the 35 year old man, awkwardly flashing them a peace sign suspiciously reminiscent of how Athena does it.

A cold silence weighs down on the room as the two younger lawyers stare, motionless, at the social travesty posing by the door. Apollo's dropped his pen, and Athena can't close her mouth. Mr. Wright falters for a moment.

"Holy shit!" Widget eventually blips.

The electronic's outburst seems to please the boss, as his mouth breaks out into a grin. "I know, right?" he says, almost as if speaking to himself, his confidence visibly restored.

Sweat beads on Apollo's forehead. "E-er... Mr... Wright...?"

"Yes, Pollolo?"

Pollolo blanches. "What... are you doing?"

"I'm being chill, what else?"

The two younger co-workers share a terrified glance. They had no idea about what he was even attempting to communicate.

"S-so all... this…" Athena gestures at the man's get-up, "...is why you're a little late today?"

"Yep!" Mr. Wright tries to turn his cap, but it really is stuck to his hair, so he gives up after a moment of tugging. He lifts his shades to his head instead, revealing proud eyes. "I needed time to get myself on fleek for the day, haha!"

Athena feels her ears crying at the intonation – he has no clue what the words he's spouting even mean. "¡Dios mío!"

"Anyway, I want to show you bros something cool."

Mr. Wright sets his skateboard on the office floor, and before either of his employees can stop him, jumps on it and attempts to do his own version of a kick flip. As expected, the skateboard shoots out from under his shoes, sending the lawyer to the ground on his back with a loud thud. Athena screams at audible crack that follows.

"AAAHHHHHHH!"

"OW!"

"MR. WRIGHT!"

The two younger lawyers scramble to the fallen fossil's side, Apollo lifting him up to a sitting position. The man's spine produces a few more horror-inducing cracks and Apollo freezes.

"O-oh boy," Mr. Wright says weakly, one eye shut in pain, "this isn't bae at all."

"I-I'll call 911!" Athena scrambles off the floor to grab her cell, Widget flashing neon yellow.

"H-hey, there's no need... I-I'm on fleek..."

"Just hang on, Mr. Wright!" Apollo yells, seeing his boss losing consciousness. "Shit!"

Athena shrieks from the phone. "Think of Trucy! You can't die here, Boss!"

Everything happened too fast, and Apollo can barely comprehend the situation. He takes the punctured cap that had fallen off the man's head to fan him desperately, in hopes of keeping him conscious. He quietly prays that Mr. Wright hasn't broken his hip, because hip replacement surgery is damn expensive and they can barely collectively afford rent.

"Hello? Hello? Police, I need– officer, our boss is dying! SEND AN AMBULANCE!"

"Send four!" screams Widget.

"I-I'm fine... guys…"

The man is clearly anything but fine, eyes crinkled in pain and his body stiff due to whatever the hell he's done to his back.

"Mr. Wright..." Apollo says. "What drove you to this? Why'd you try to be hip and cool?"

Mr. Wright smiles weakly up at him, dabs, and finally passes out.

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