I remember seeing you sitting in the corner of the classroom when I approached you for the first time. I remember noticing that you were looking sad. Immediately I knew that you didn't deserve feeling this way. Your golden hair was hanging loosely around your shoulders hiding half of your pretty face and your perfect blue eyes I love so much had this blue tone you got when you were sad. I knew you were crying because you were trembling lightly and I was sure you were on the verge of curling up into a tiny ball like you use to do when you are sad. What made you to not do this was the fact that you were in public. I know you don't care what people think about you but even you have your pride and your inhibition level.
I remember this day because it was the day where god sent me you. It was the day where my life truly began and it was the day where I knew if I had you, I could do anything. The only condition was that you had to be there when I had to make hard decisions and needed support.
We were in first grade when I walked towards your tiny frame. You looked so weak while you were crying that's why I thought you were tiny although you are taller than me. When I asked you why you were crying you said that Puck stole your stuffed unicorn. I knew Puck. He was in our class and he was the boy everyone wanted to have as friend and all the girls had little girl crushes on him. I never had fallen for him but I didn't like him either. So after he made you sad and you cried I hated him with all the cells of my body.
I still can't understand anyone making you sad. Not only because you are innocent but because you have such a cheerful personality and your smile is just natural and it has a very positive effect on every person. It misses when you're not smiling. I took your hand and linked my pinky with yours. My tanned skin and your milky smooth one fitted and our pinkies were just like two pieces of a puzzle. You gave me this confused look because you didn't know me but you smiled after you looked down at our linked pinkies.
Usually I wasn't the person approaching strangers because I like being alone and I don't like people knowing me truly. But you... You just had and still have this effect on me. It wasn't bad though. You were the reason I wanted to go to school because I got to see you. You were the reason I wanted to be a better person. But I never became a better person. I was only kind to you because I just wanted to give you everything you'd asked for and I don't like people seeing my real me. You on the other side can read me like an open book. You know only by looking at me what I am feeling and thinking. So after linking our pinkies I smiled at you and pulled you with me to the boys who were standing at Puck's desk.
They were laughing and throwing your stuffed unicorn around. I let go off your pinkie and immediately I missed the contact and the warmth of your body. I looked at you and noticed that you were feeling the same way. I approached Puck and glared at him. I told him to give me the unicorn but he refused. I wanted to do anything to give you back the unicorn and the first thing that shot into my mind was to punch him in his stupid face. I had seen this on TV before and because of the bleeding nose that followed after the punch I thought it would hurt. And so did Puck's nose. It started bleeding and hurting. He screamed in pain and I took the stuffed animal and gave it to you. You smiled at me and hugged me excitedly. I got detention for two weeks and Puck had a broken nose. But no matter which punishment I got your smile was totally worth it. What they don't tell you in movies, though, is that after a punch your hand is hurting like a bitch. But if I had to be in pain in order to see you happy I would do it over and over again.
After this day everyone learned to not mess with me but also to not mess with you because I would end them. After this whole incident we never spent time apart. We got best friends and we met every time we could and even if we couldn't we talked through the phone.
My mom never understood our connection but she was glad that I found someone who calmed me down because I was a rebel and my parents always threatened me to not get to see you again if I wasn't being a good girl.
I never got to know how it would get if we had to be apart and I am glad that I didn't get to know this feeling. Because I swear, baby, I would feel so lost. I just can't imagine my life without your smile, your voice, your eyes, your happiness but most importantly I can't imagine my life without you and your love. Never was a person as important to me as you. Not even my parents.
I know I was stupid during high school. I hooked up with guys- even with Puck although he made you cry in the first place- trying to deny my true feelings. Feelings not only for you but feelings I had in general for the same gender. Baby, I know I was difficult but I still don't know how you managed this whole thing with me. You waited patiently till I stopped denying that I liked women but most importantly that I was head over heels in love with you.
I got forced to out myself because Finnocence couldn't shut his fucking mouth. But you were there every step of it. You held me at night when I cried because I thought my life was over. My heart was aching and yours was, too because you hate seeing me hurting as much as I hate seeing you hurting. My parents accepted me and I am sure that they knew by the way I look at you. Trying to fill one gaze with as much love as I can give you.
My biggest failure was when my abuela expelled me because I loved and adored you. I honestly don't understand her. How can I be judged? You are such a lovely person everyone just has to love you. But again you were there when I cried and felt down. Baby, I adore you because you walk around with such a confidence as if nothing can touch you. You wear your heart on your sleeve but I love you because you believe in me no matter what I do or say. And you give me the strength to stand up every day and enjoy my life. You are the reason why I am living. No words could ever describe how much I love you. But ,baby, I try to show you every day of my life how much love I keep inside my heart only for you. This love grows every day even more and I fall in love with you all over again.
But right now I feel like I'm in heaven because I look at you and our adorable infant curled up on our bed and I swear that my heart skipped a few beats. A few tears of happiness run down my cheeks because I can't believe my life got so beautiful. I quickly wipe away the tears and join my two favorite people on the bed and I wrap my arm around you and our son and pull you as close to me as I can. You open your eyes slowly and your face lights up by your smile.
"Hey." You whisper adoringly.
"Hey." I answer and I brusha few of your golden locks off your face. You lean into my touch and I kiss your lips softly. Trying to put all my love into this kiss. After our kiss I plant another one onto our sleeping son's head and smile at you.
"I love you so much." I whisper.
"I love you so much." You repeat and I know you mean it because I know you feel the way I feel and baby, as long as I have you and our little son I will never ever miss a thing. And after one last loving kiss we fall asleep and I have never felt so happy in my life before. Brittany I love you because you are my best friend, my soul mate, my wife and the rock I can lean on when life is bad. But it will never be bad with you and our son because it is filled with so much love and happiness.
It has always been you and me and our love. Always...