TITLE: A Trip Down Memory Lane
GENRE: General/drama/humor
CHARACTERS: Gillian, Cal
PAIRING: Cal/Gillian
RATING: PG-13
SPOILERS: None
WORDS: 2,700
SUMMARY: Some business trips they took together (her point of view).
[Oh, this will be so exciting, love.]
Their first case ever that takes them out of town comes just about four months after they have started. Somebody had recommended them—so far so good.
It's kind of a relief to be away from the tiny, run-down office they normally share in an ugly part of Washington, D.C. where he still walks her to her car every night, so he continues to have a partner the next morning. One he desperately needs.
They have found some kind of routine by now. One where he's on the lookout for new cases, talking to important people, reactivating old contacts and establishing new ones. One where he takes the lead in solving the cases they land.
She sometimes feels pushed to the background too much. It's his science, she knows. But she doesn't want to be stuck just with the paperwork of his science. She still has to learn, but she is getting better and she has even discovered some skills of her own. Things he isn't quite as good at ("You heard that just in his voice?") or ones he is lacking entirely ("Let me talk to the mayor and smooth things over, okay?").
So the call from a businessman wanting to investigate a possible merger deal takes them to Kentucky.
Yes, that's right. Not New York City or Florida or anywhere else glorious. Rural Kentucky it is, but they're as happy and excited as they could be.
The motel they discover after a short flight and a long drive is right out of Bates' dreams. They joke about how this really isn't a better deal than their office at home, but hey, it's at least a memory that will stick and something they will laugh about twenty years from now (she still doesn't know if he really is one for the long term, though).
They set up a mini office in her room (the nicer one) from which they work the case. It's not really a difficult one or one with twists and turns, but it's solid and brings in good money that they need.
They share Chinese takeout in the evenings and review and discuss, and laugh and joke. And for the first time they are so damn proud of what they've created.
[You were scared, weren't you?]
When the Lightman Group is growing they decide to reward their staff for the hard work they put into the company and for putting up with the two of them on a daily basis. Well, she decides it—he on the other hand isn't so sure.
They all go on an adventure weekend in Maryland and spend their time hunting treasures, building floats to cross rivers, and bonding over campfire. Cal thinks, it's all rather silly (and he doesn't hide it). She thinks, it's awesome.
One of their last tasks is to climb on a small tree stump and let themselves fall backwards, so somebody else can catch them. Trust fall.
The group choses who will do this together and of course they end up as a pair. He gives her an evil grin and she is already scared.
Then some minutes later she stands there with her back to him and is supposed to let go. She looks behind herself once more to make sure he is still there (of course he is) and see if he's ready. But it's really more because she's terrified.
He smiles at her. What, you don't trust me?
She smiles back. I don't know if I should.
She turns around, takes a deep breath and lets herself fall.
He is there.
In the office on Monday he admits that it all wasn't so bad after all. Some parts were even fun.
[I'm a horrible person.]
She knew this had been a bad idea. He insisted on going to Chicago for this psychology conference (something about finding new talent) even though it had only been three weeks. Three weeks since.
Three weeks in which he had barely changed his shirts, showered, or eaten anything except cereals in his office. Three weeks since Zoe had moved out and taken the life he had just gotten used to with her.
But then to her surprise, he pulls himself together. He joins her at the airport in a crease-free suit and crisp, white shirt. During the flight he talks about how he has to move on and how he has learned from some of the mistakes he's made. He reads a business journal (really?).
It is all too good to be true. (She should have seen it coming.)
On day three he gets wasted. Thoroughly, with all the different drinks he can stomach and in three different bars. To make matters worse he maneuvers himself into a fight on the streets of Chicago and loses.
He calls her and she picks him up from the location just two blocks behind their hotel. He throws up twice on the way and she finds it hard to hold him up, so he doesn't fall over with his already bruised face first.
They make it to his room and he begs her to leave him on his own. Not orders her, but begs her. Leave him to his own misery.
She ignores it and makes sure his wounds are clean and nothing is broken. Then she puts some water next to his bed and pulls the covers over him, even though he is still wearing the dirty clothes she won't get rid of without this help for now. It doesn't matter.
She actually thinks that he's fallen asleep by now, but his eyes open again when the covers reach his chin. He looks at her with as much desperation as there could possibly be in this world (or his world at least). Then he murmurs some words she tries to ignore and wants to forget afterwards.
She knows it's the last thing he ever wanted, but for the first time she feels sorry for him.
[You know what? I don't care.]
She has always disliked some of his character traits, some of his attitudes. Right from the beginning. He isn't perfect, not in the slightest, but that's okay. It's what makes him—well, him. The constant violation of personal space, the passive aggressive stare-downs, the lack of focus when it matters. Even the couple of times he had yelled at her (no reason, she thinks, but he probably had his) or left her high and dry with cases he suddenly lost interest in.
But it is Las Vegas where she really sees the ugly side for the first time. The one that makes her hate him. At least for a couple of hours. And the days after.
She knew he had a history with this town and that it wasn't pretty, but she didn't imagine this. They arrive and he goes off the rails as soon as one foot touches the ground at the airport. Good lord.
He lies and cheats and manipulates—and he gambles. He forgets that they are here for a case—and he gambles. He treats her like she doesn't even exist—and he gambles. There's nothing she could possibly do. At first she tries, but then she just gives up.
Oh, and he doesn't just gamble—he also loses.
In addition to that he is chasing skirts like crazy. Just a few months ago he was heartbroken to a degree she could never imagine him to be and now he acts like he has never even been attached to anyone or like he has no sweet little girl sitting at home waiting for him to be back.
As if it wasn't enough he tops it off with having too many (many too many!) drinks and turning up at her hotel room door in the middle of the night. He looks and sounds miserable and for the first time she is not only angry, but also realizes that he might have a genuine problem. With this city or this kind of stimulation or maybe with something that happened in his past and that he refuses to talk about.
She lets him sleep in the other bed in her room and makes sure that he at least doesn't die. Apart from that she remains angry.
After that, she promises herself that they will never go to this place together again. Business, pleasure, whatever.
[Let me help you with that, love.]
The next time is the first time after Vegas and a lot of time passes between these two. In between, they went on business trips, to conferences and other official occasions on their own respectively, but he actively avoided them going together.
He knows he screwed up and he's aware that he has probably hurt her feelings. So he does what he's best at and just avoids it all. Why talk about it, when you can steer clear of it?
But then a case comes up in New York (City—skyscrapers sparkling at nighttime and all!) and they have to do this one together. She is actually excited about being there and working this case. She doesn't fear it or being with him (it's not Vegas or even Atlantic City after all).
He really tries to be on his best behavior. He tries so hard that at one point she just finds it ridiculous and decides to make a little game out of it. She stops opening any doors and lets him rush to rescue every single time instead (oh, Cal!). She also lets him pay and carry the case files and pull her chair at dinner.
He would laugh, if he could see himself. She certainly does when he isn't looking.
They are invited to an evening function as part of the business they're attending to. They're dressed up and NYC is finally sparkling just as she imagined it.
During the evening she keeps reminding him that he has to officially ask her to dance—simply holding out his hand isn't enough (neither is waving with a napkin or rolling his eyes). Until he does she just sits there stubbornly. At one point, he finally realizes what's going on and asks her if she's making fun of him for trying to improve his hopeless manners.
She just laughs and then they dance like Ginger and Fred.
[I'm so sorry.]
One of her miscarriages happens when they are at a conference in Baltimore. Damn.
She panics. She doesn't know what the hell to do. She cries and shakes and writhes in pain. She doesn't want to, but in the end she sees no other way than taking care of it as best as she can and then knocking on Cal's hotel room door.
He's understandably shocked by what he sees (she thinks—wow—for the first time ever he wasn't able to mask anything at all). He doesn't even know what's wrong with her (she doesn't tell) and just rushes her to the nearest hospital and fears for her life.
He insists that he has to call Alec and that everything will be alright, but she doesn't want the former (he will just blame her for it; again) and won't believe the latter.
At the hospital they tell her that she has to wait until somebody can examine and treat her. It makes him furious and he throws some kind of tantrum right in front of other waiting patients in the emergency ward.
(She actually likes how much he is speaking up and fighting for her, but right now she just wants him to sit down and be calm, so she can be as well.)
Eventually he calms down and tries his best to support her during the wait (he probably saw that him acting out of control didn't help). It takes time, but he is there. Holding her hand, not asking questions.
She cries quietly from time to time, so he just squeezes her hand tighter. He gets up to ask about how much longer they would have to wait, but it's collected and polite this time. It actually helps getting her to a room with a doctor just a little later.
They do what they can, give her some painkillers and talk her through follow-up care she should receive back home. She just thinks, been there, done that.
When she returns to the waiting room, he is giving her an encouraging look and hugs her—warm and caring. He has figured it all out by now, she is sure. Probably also that it's the reason for her problems with Alec lately. She knows he's curious (it's who he is), but he continues to not ask any questions and they go back to the hotel.
They never talk about it again.
[Can I treat you to another triple chocolate cake, then?]
During day three of their first business trip after her divorce from Alec, he offers to hit the bars together with her, so she doesn't have to do it alone and end up in a fight.
She laughs (and he is able to laugh about his own not-so-glorious past), but she kindly declines and they settle for some more dessert instead.
[It's the city of love, you know.]
Trips abroad are a rare occasion. The US is mostly big enough to keep them busy, but sometimes they find their cases (or luck) elsewhere. It is Paris this time and a tightly woven net of fraudulent international entanglements.
A lot of business trips had come and gone; a lot of things in their lives had come and gone.
She had been to Paris for some months as a college junior and being back here is like rediscovering an old life. She knows the places, the hidden secrets, but everything is also different.
She shares some of the best secrets with him when they have time off and he pesters her with questions about her past like never before. At one point she has to ask him to stop, because it's getting to places she doesn't want to be in anymore.
Always between getting closer and keeping a safe distance. That's how it is with them these days (always really). They're both unattached, but maybe they're both not free for one another.
He knows, she knows. It is a waiting game. A tiring one.
And then on their last evening—they are strolling the alleyways of a romantically illuminated neighborhood—he says it ("It's the city of love, you know"). Or rather, he mentions it. Like it isn't even important.
But she knows that it is to him. As is making her understand how important it is to him and what he is really trying to say (my God, why does it always have to be so complicated?).
She nods at him. I know.
He continues walking and there is some disappointment on his face. She feels bad about that, but what can she do? The game continues and maybe it's for the best.
But a couple of steps further, she asks him if he remembers their first ever business trip together and he does. They laugh about the tiny hotel rooms out in the sticks, the amateur equipment, the messy ways of working a case back then. They agree that they've come a long way. He does a Psycho parody and reminds her of the way the shower curtains looked just like that. They laugh some more.
And then it happens: She knows that he is one for the long term.
Because he is still there while other things aren't. And because they can still laugh about this. And because she had many of her best times with him. And because she loves him.
This night she tells him and he tells her (oh wow, how he does!). And they wake up together the next morning, when the sun climbs over the rooftops—in the city of love.
How weird. And wonderful.
THE END