Hi! This is a song I thought fit the whole "Aoshi & Misao" situation. Well, not exactly the real situation, of course! This is a fanfiction, so I've changed some things made assumptions about people's feelings.
So, the song isn't mine and neither are Aoshi and Misao.
Now, on with the show!
Annabella's Song
Aoshi looked around his room. It seamed it got brighter at this time of the day. When she was here, sitting right next to him, talking to the air. Well, technically she was speaking to him, but he listened to the first minutes, then his mind would just wander around her face, her movements and his memories of her.
I see you roll your eyes
You know it makes me smile
Well, not really smile, because it was something his body didn't accept since his parents had been killed right in front of him. But he felt lighter when she did something like roll her eyes or one of her full-faced smiles. Her presence seemed to fill the entire room.
You are like the sun to me
All bright as liquid fire
Since she had been born, she had held that control over his life that she didn't even seem to notice. She had been his little charge, that he had promised to take care until he died. She was the one that took him away from the work, to come and play with her. And, of course, she was the buoy he clang to, when nothing more held him to that world.
I feel so powerless
To hold you up above the world
He asked himself everyday why she took as her responsibility to take care of him. Of course he understood that she cared for him, she had always thought of him as something bigger than life. But, after everything that had happened, how could she still regard him as such a worthy man? He felt so small compared to her! That big heart of hers would always place her above the world, above every little and mean human. Like him…
You are quite a lot of trouble
For such a skinny little girl
He could remember perfectly the day she had been born. Such a large heart, inside such a small frame. She had always been a small girl and now she was still small. But a woman. Those years away from her had made it difficult for him to follow her growing process and when he had returned to Kyoto, he had needed quite some time to understand that Misao was no longer a little. She was a beautiful woman.
Such a pretty little girl
Such a pretty little girl
But he had finally understood. Even if he never let her know that, he knew what she had become. Perhaps even better than anyone else had. He pretended to miss the longing looks she gave him, but they were marked in his heart, each and everyone of them.
You know I'm never home
I'm always miles and miles away
He lived in the Aoiya, but sometimes it seemed more like he was glued to the Temple floor. The only proof that he slept in his room was the used clothes, sometimes not even that. Sometimes he would spend the entire day and night meditating.
I feel I'm running out of time
To say the thing I need to say
Aoshi knew that his attitudes and his lack of presence hurt her. He didn't do it on propose, of course, but he couldn't help himself. And he could see plainly the time they spent running around each other and the things that were always left unsaid. The feelings left for figuring out. Sometimes, when the nights were too lonely, all those mixed up things came to haunt him and they didn't let him breath.
I call you on the telephone
You will not talk to me
He could say she didn't let him talk. She was always talking and her voice just drove him to other places, where they were the only real things. But when she expected him to talk, he shut himself inside his walls. Then, when he realized he had hurt her even more, she would shut herself in her room, to cry silent tears. He never felt brave enough to fight those tears.
Yes you just don't understand
You are my everything
She always thought he did it to push her aside, to make her understand something. But no! She didn't understand that he was just too scared to deal with his feeling and her at the same time. Sometimes he wanted her to have something better than him, something worth while. Other times he couldn't even watch her talk to other men. He meditated to become better. For what? For her, of course. Everything he did was for her, because of her… only for her.
Anna Anna
Tell me what you want
Tell me what you need
Anna Anna
You are never alone
Maybe if she told him what to do with those feelings. After hours of pains and thinking about him, he just wished he could throw them out the window. But them he saw her and the only thing he thought was fulfilling every small wish and desires she might have. Turn her into the happiest woman on the planet. He lived for her alone.
You are never alone
Hey, yeah yeah
Hey, yeah yeah
Hey, yeah yeah
He was her shadow. Sometimes, when he is at home and she goes to the market, he would just follow her a distance behind, so that she wouldn't notice. He would just stare and watch her talk with the women selling fruit and other stuff. Her smiles and gestures…
Anna Anna
Tell me what you want
Tell me what you need
Anna Anna
You are never alone
You are never alone
So he knew now that he was destined to be hers, no matter how. But, even so, nothing said she was destined to his. The universe was made that way! The most beautiful diamond might just be rightfully admired by one man, but that doesn't make it his. And she was that diamond. She was the most precious thing in the world.
I like to watch you play
When you don't know I'm there
The pleasures small things gave him! Just seeing her catching flowers near the Temple, to put in his tea tray. Or when she would sit outside, on the roof watching the sunset, when she thought no one was watching her. Just the small things made him swell with pride. Not pride that an owner feels, because he didn't own her. But the pride one feels when he knows something no one else knows, like he had discovered a new planet.
I see you in your sleep at night
Reach out and touch your hair
He couldn't even count the times when he had entered her room, at night. He would walk out of his room, when his nightmares scared the sleep away, and he would sit inside Misao's room, against the wall. Just watching her breath made him calm again. When she slept, she had on him the same effect as meditation. Her mere presence. And, when that presence wasn't enough, he would be as bold as to touch her long hair. Those silky locks, strangest as it might seem, always made him ease up. Just those black, velvety locks touching his hand, made him want to wake her up and tell her everything!
I want to make this world
Be just how you wanted it to be
If only he could change himself! If only he could change all the bad things in the world! She deserved the perfect world. She deserved the clouds, heaven and all perfection capable inside one dream. He wished he could give her that. But that was out of his reach…
Yeah you just don't understand
You are my everything
When she was out of his sight and out of his mind… well, she was never completely out of his mind. But he would think how such a small little woman had managed to bend his heart? How he, the proud and brave warrior, had surrendered himself to her.
Anna Anna
Tell me what you want
Baby tell me what you need
Anna Anna
You are never alone
Even if he hadn't told her, he was hers. And, one day, she would see it. One day she would smile at him, with all her love in her eyes, and he would look back at her and he would show her. Show her that he had changed, that he was hers and that he had changed because of her.
Anna
You are never alone
Aoshi looked away from his wall and moved his eyes over her features. She had stopped talking and was just sipping her tea. Just when his eyes stopped on her face, hers looked up at him. Her tea cup fell to the floor and Aoshi didn't have a problem guessing what she had seen there. It was time to show her.
Anna
You are never alone
Well, hope you like it! This is my first songfic ever, so I want to see what you think, ok? Review people!
Annabella's Song is Everclear's song, from the album "Song from an American movie / Vol.One: Learning how to smile"
Thanks for reading!
MaRiAnA