*Note: I don't own this song, nor do I know who does. It's just a fun parody.*

I can't stand to die
I'm not that naive
So go ahead and cry
'Cause you can't make me leave

I saw a strange guy, he's across the lane.
I'm just paranoid, I'm not insane.
It's not easy to be me

Wish that I could spy
Look out from the trees
Find a way to try
And catch that man in green

It may sound absurd, but don't be naive
Because I'll make all the gay men bleed
I may be disturbed, but won't you believe
That I will make all the heathens scream
It's not easy to be me

Up, up and away, through that building
It's all right, the Taliban's gone tonight
Don't think I'm crazy or anything

I can't stand some guys
I'm not that naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With other guys between their knees

I'm only a man in camoflauged clothes
Looking for Taliban on this desert peak
An American, but no one will know
Looking for my grenades and my M16

It's not easy to be me.