AN: Hello readers. Remember how I was back from a hiatus? Yeah...
Here's a one-shot, about Pinkie Pie getting drunk.
Disclaimer: "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" is the property of Hasbro.
Pinkie Pie was throwing one of her spectacular parties. Why? It was the first day of sunshine after eight days of rain. You know Pinkie Pie. Ever so cheerful, ecstatic, and hyper. She would throw a party following the execution of a dictator that managed to conquer Equestria. In fact, she would personally go to this dictator, perform a vaudeville-type routine to bring about love and happiness into the stallion's heart, and end his reign of terror with a blizzard of confetti. Of course, such a gruesome historical event wouldn't occur in Equestria. No, all is smiles and rejoicing, as far as Pinkie Pie is concerned.
Of course, Pinkie isn't perfect. Nopony is, so of course she isn't perfect. In fact, sometimes she has too much to drink.
It was through no fault of her own that Pinkie went wild at her party from intoxication. She was too naïve, too innocent, too ditzy to know that the brown beverage she consumed was Rainbow Punch, the most popular brand of liquor in Ponyville. Why would a brown substance be called Rainbow Punch? Pinkie couldn't fathom why. Of course, Pinkie can't possibly resist anything rainbow related. It didn't even taste remotely unpleasant. It tasted just as Pinkie believed a rainbow ought to taste, like cherry, lime, and blue raspberry topped with cilantro. Maybe the cilantro taste was an exaggeration on her part. But, after drinking that fateful Rainbow Punch for the first time, Pinkie Pie herself was an exaggeration.
The party was progressing quite divinely. All of her friends were there, as any party without her friends is like a flower pot without daisies. The music was lively, the dancing was graceful, the refreshments were superb. Spike complemented the joyous Pinkie, "Wow, Pinkie, you really outdid yourself with this one." Humbled, Pinkie replied, "Ah, gee, Spike. It was just a simple plan, inspired by a wonderful occasion. Any party with my friend's is the best party of all." Suddenly, a fast-paced song starte playing. Pinkie couldn't resist the urge to dance. And she dancing like the world was her dance floor. Everypony was cheering her on, but Pinkie knew she was merely expressing herself without any reminiscence of boastfulness and vanity.
Pinkie Pie, being the dancing fool she was, was desperate for refreshments herself. She believed she could dance for eternity without the need for quenching her thirst, but this particular episode of dancing proved to be quite strenuous, strenuous even for her superpony abilities to fall short. She escorted herself to the table and found various bottles labeled Rainbow Punch. "Ooh, rainbows!" she exclaimed without much thought. She opened a bottle and proceeded to gulp the liquid down. "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! This tastes like a smorgasbord of happiness and smiles!" Of course, being the restless mare that she is, she continued to drink every last drop of Rainbow Punch.
She felt as if she was on the verge of collapse. Yet, there was something emerging from the depths of her sprightly heart. It was a certain sort of energy. This energy was sluggish, yet racing within her. It was an energy that she wanted to release in an explosion, yet wanted to conserve in order to trout the globe. Whatever this energy was, it managed to slightly deflate her unkempt curly mane and slightly brightened the hue of her pink skin.
Indeed, she did collapse. Twilight was the first to witness it. "Uh, guys, something's wrong with Pinkie Pie." Rarity, ever so vainly, merely said, "Oh my goodness, what has she done with her hair? I've never seen such…I don't know if I should condemn it or try to imitate it." Fluttershy was concerned, fearing for the well-being of her wackiest friend. "Oh no! I've never seen her like this. Is she dead?" Applejack, of course, knew better. "Girls, it looks like she's had too much Rainbow Punch." Rainbow Dash just shook her head in bemusement. "Such a lightweight," she utters.
As if a surge of electricity entered her body, Pinkie rose. She didn't speak a word. She just stood silent for a few moments. "Pinkie," said Twilight, "are you alright?" Pinkie released a plangent sound, which slowly progressed into erratic cheering.
"I'll take you flying, Rainbow Dash!" she shouted. She grabbed Dash by the tail and started leaping back and forth between walls and the ceiling, dragging Dash with her. "Pinkie!" screamed Dash. "Woah! What are you doing? Stop! This is not proper flying technique!" Pinkie released Dash's tail, perhaps involuntarily, and sent her falling a short distance down to the floor. "Pinkie, this foolishness has to stop, or somepony will get hurt," Twilight tried to reason. In response, Pinkie retrieved a random liquid. "I dowse thee!" said Pinkie, and she poured the liquid over Twilight. Twilight, as to be expected, was not amused.
A baroque piece played from the sound system. Pinkie rushed to Rarity and grabbed her hoof. Attempting to speak with a French accent, which came out quite slurred, she proposed, "Ma chérie, dance with me." The dance was not graceful at all, especially not for Rarity. Pinkie was throwing her around like a rag doll and spinning her like a top. Rarity could only scream like a damsel in distress. "Pinkie, this is baroque, not tango! Oh, goodness! This is hardly even tango!"
Quickly uninterested, Pinkie removed a rope-like decoration from a wall and created a lasso. Gyrating toward Applejack, Pinkie threatened, "This circus ain't big enough for the two of us." Pinkie whipped the lasso and tied Applejack by all four hoofs, hog-tying her. Applejack managed to break through the flimsy rope, but was exasperated nevertheless.
"I need to practice my hammer throwing," said Pinkie unenthusiastically. She grabbed a pile of party favors and target practice commenced on poor Fluttershy. Even with a reluctance to fly, Flutterfly flew around the room as best as she could. She sought refuge under the table, leaving Pinkie to wander around the room, aimlessly seeking out her target. "Where…where…where is my rubber shield?" She grabbed Spike and lifted him into the air. "I know you know where it is!" Spike, of course, was petrified, but tried to tame the beast. "Uh, Pinkie, you do realize that you're ruining your party." Pinkie took a chunk of cake with her bare hooves, chewed it, then spat it on Spike's face. "Party-shmarty!" Releasing Spike, who proceeded to collect the cake on his face with his tongue, Pinkie turned to Gummy. "Was it you? It was you, you devil!" Gummy was unresponsive.
And then, Pinkie collapsed yet again…
Pinkie had awoken in her bedroom. Her head was aching, her joints were tender, and her self-worth was diminished. Surprisingly enough, Gold Apuleis was marked on her flank opposite her cutie mark." I could really go for a bacon sandwich," she murmured.
Her loving friends surrounded her. It was at this moment, though her clouded conscious, that she had a vague idea of the trouble she caused. "You guys…what's going on. You all look so…unhappy." Twilight spoke up first. "Pinkie, you went a little wild at your party." Rarity went into frenzy. "A little wild? She was tossing me around like a dress, with ruffles, from last season!" Applejack wouldn't tolerate such complaining. "Rarity, please. Think of Pinkie. Think of what happened to her." Fluttershy gathered her courage to say, "It was scary to see you like that." Rainbow Dash agreed, "Yeah, it was. And that was just Rainbow Punch that you drank. Who knows how unruly you'd get if you drank too much Starlight Springs?"
Even though her head ached, her heart ached even worse. She was overcome with the guilt of causing grief to her dear companions. "Girls, I'm sorry. I'm such a fool. I thought that because it tasted good, it would make me feel good. I…I'm too dangerous to throw parties."
"No, Pinkie," Twilight retorted. "You didn't know. You were meant to party. I mean, it's in your cutie mark, after all. You just need to know how to party responsibly. Pinkie, we love your parties, especially when you're having fun. But, have fun without causing harm to others, and most importantly, yourself."
Pinkie sighed somberly. "I think I know what to write to the Princess."
Her letter to Princess Celestia was as follows:
Dear Princess Celestia,
This week, I learned that you shouldn't rely on anything other than the thrill of fun to let you have a good time. I learned that you have to rely on your friends to have a good time, a fun time that is safe and not at all dangerous. I also learned that if you should fall, your friends would always be there to pick you up. And in return, you must be there for your friends too, in times of fun and in times of need.
Your faithful subject,
Pinkie Pie
AN: Uh, anyway...review? Yes? No? Maybe?