DIS: (sniffling) You guys have gotta read The Black Jewels Trilogy. It is an absolutely beautiful series! (clasps hands) I love Daemon and Lucivar. Lucivar should be by himself, though. No woman is good enough for him!!

Marian: What was that you said? (glare)

DIS: (glances at her) Umm...Right, so, please read below and enjoy! (goes to Marian) Marian! I'm so happy to see you...

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Title: For who I am

Rating: M for language and some sexual insinuations

Genre: Drama/Romance

Summary: He went against everything he was, falling into the Abyss that was lust. Lust with a demon, whose name was Bakura Ryou. MalikxBakura; Yaoi. One-shot.

Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh, nor any other copyrighted things that may have been presented in this story. Hehehe.

Notes/Warnings: MalikxBakura; Yaoi; One-shot; language; mild sexual content

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For who I am

It was the season that never entered Heaven. It was the season where snow gathered on the grounds, cool air chilled those who were brave enough to exit their warm hovels. It was the season referred to as Winter. It didn't matter to him, though, whether he was cold or not. He felt as though he was dying. Stuck in Purgatory. The worst punishment. He would have been so much happier in the hot, barren home of the Demons, Hell. Oh, certainly, it wouldn't be nearly as gorgeous as Purgatory was, but that merely disguised the truth of what this place was. Nonetheless, this fallen Angel suspected that if he'd been pummeled into Hell, he wouldn't be suffering like he was now.

Malik. Malik Ishtar. The name rang in his mind, jangling uncertainly in his brain. Was that his name? He couldn't recall, didn't really care. Why, why had he been sent here of all places? Was his crime really such a terrible thing? So he liked to have a little fun. What was the problem with that?

Except that Heaven is serious, not fun, his sister's voice told him coolly in a memory after he had gotten into trouble with one of the other Angels. God ignored everything else except this one thing. But then again, befriending a Demon wasn't exactly something expected of him. Malik had always vehemently cursed Hell, Satan, and Demons. But that was before he'd met this particular Demon.

How could I have helped it? Malik bitterly thought as he slumped on the ground in an alley. His wings weren't visible and even if they were, they were torn up and he had a feeling he wouldn't be able to fly for a very long time. There isn't one person that understood me and then I did some checking for one of the Angels at the points that adjoined Heaven and Purgatory; and Purgatory and Hell. His eyes misted over as he recalled how he had met the coolly malicious, but taunting Demon, Bakura Ryou.

"What is an Angel doing so close to hell?" Bakura Ryou drawled as Malik wandered aimlessly along the border between Purgatory and Hell. Malik gave him a cursory glance, not responding. "Too good to talk to me, are you?" The Demon stepped over the border and Malik paused, running his eyes along the male's body with mild interest. So this was the highly famed Prince of Darkness? Please.

"Go run to your papa, little prince," Malik sneered, his eyes flashing. "I don't have time for weaklings like you." Though he called him a weakling, Malik's confidence wavered at the energy pouring in waves from his adversary. Somehow he felt uncomfortable with him and unsure of his own power, which was tremendous, despite his playful antics.

"Malik Ishtar," Bakura purred seductively, making Malik eye him with what was very clear disgust. Bakura let out a shout of laughter. "Ah, I love how people react to that!"

"Leave off, fool," Malik growled, "before I personally ruin what ever is left of your balls." Bakura grinned, his fangs flashing.

"Now that's something I haven't heard before. Angels aren't supposed to threaten like that, are they?"

"You forget yourself. I am not your typical Angel." Bakura crossed his arms and sat back, eyeing him slowly, his eyes moving from his feet, passed his hips, up his torso, and stopping at his face.

"No," Bakura agreed in a murmur, "you're not the typical Angel." He smiled suavely, his eyes glittering. He moved forward with a slow stride and Malik's eyes narrowed on him. Bakura lifted his hand and Malik caught the wrist before he could touch him. Bakura's wicked grin widened and he slammed his mouth onto Malik's before a word could be put in. Startled, Malik jerked from him, lifting himself up a bit, his breathing hard. "Are you frightened because I'm a Demon or because I'm a male?"

"Get the hell away from me," Malik snarled, his eyes flashing with fear, anger, and something that was unreadable. Bakura cocked his head, his tongue running over one of his fangs speculatively. While Angels were generally supposed to be innocent and chaste and Demons the complete opposite, reveling in sexual pleasure, he felt that Malik was, like he said, not a typical Angel.

"What are you doing here?" Bakura finally queried, his eyes narrowing. "Malicious bastard."

"I'm checking the adjoining points between the Realms," the latter replied, glaring at him. "And besides, it is none of your business."

"Mm, perhaps. I, too, am checking the adjoining points between the Realms." Malik let out a bark of laughter that was more masculine than could be said of his voice and his looks, which were more beautiful than handsome. The Demon's senses fired alive. He was becoming aroused by this Angel.

"Don't be ridiculous, Demon," Malik scoffed, mirth twinkling in his eyes, his lips curled in a smirk. "Your kind has never given a damn about any other Realm than that of Hell. Besides, I never asked what you were doing, now did I?"

"I was being serious," Bakura told him, baring his teeth in a malicious smile, his eyes flat and cold. It wasn't a good sign. When Demons got that kind of look in their eyes, it meant they were pretty pissed off. Malik eyed him carefully, his expression closed of any emotions that were stirring inside of him. He eventually snorted.

"Whatever you say, Demon. I have other things to take care of." Bakura merely stared at him. Malik felt unnerved by that stare, so he continued on his way, feeling the intense gaze on his back until he was finished with his inspection. He lifted his wings and hurried back to Heaven, uneasy with the way Bakura made him felt.

From then on, though, Malik always went on the inspection of the adjoining borders, fascinated with the Demon, who was equally fascinated with him. Malik knew, when they had created mischief in Purgatory, that something would go wrong, that they would be found out. He wasn't allowed to befriend a demon, much less what occurred after their friendship. God and Satan had tolerated their mischief making. They did not, however, tolerate their relationship going any further than that. And it did. Purely on accident.

"These Humans are certainly dull," Bakura remarked as they weaved through crowds of Humans, their wings invisible, their clothing matching that of the present fashion. Malik's shoulders were drooped from boredom, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his pants. Bakura had his arms crossed behind his head, a clearly irritated look on his face. They had always been able to find something to do when they met each other at the border of Hell and Purgatory. This time, however, they hadn't been able to for some reason.

The two of them paused in the park as darkness began to fall and they slumped on the bench. Angels and Demons had no actually awareness of 'day' and 'night,' nor any other measurement of time.

"Purgatory is hard on me," Malik groaned, rubbing his shoulder. "It is farther away from Heaven than Hell is." Bakura glanced at him and then pointed to the ground.

"Sit." Malik eyed him suspiciously, but did as asked. Bakura brushed Malik's hair from his neck and began kneading the tight muscles of his neck and shoulders. The Angel let out a sigh of relief, leaning into Bakura's legs, making the Demon smile to himself. "It is hard for both Angels and Demons."

"Mm..." Malik gave a sound that indicated he wasn't interested in the conversation any longer. However, Bakura, who had been attracted to his male Angel friend from the start, had to divert his attention from the soft skin and flowing energy that escaped from Malik. And it was strange, because the Angel's energy seemed more Demonic than Angelic. It didn't help the way the energy wrapped around him, enticed him. It made a certain southern region bound awake and he stifled a groan, pausing his massaging. "What?" The Angel muttered groggily. He tipped his head back to glower at Bakura warily. Bakura almost jumped when his head nearly hit his erection.

"Not a thing," Bakura rasped, forcibly trying to calm himself. It didn't work. Malik turned and his eyes flickered to something – Bakura didn't catch what. He saw something rise in the Angel's eyes and again, just as before when he'd seen it, he couldn't interpret it.

Malik rose to his feet and settled beside Bakura, his fingers dancing on his thigh, whispering, "What's got you turned on, Bakura?"

Snarling in irritation, Bakura shoved him away, leashing his control as well as he could. He realized that Malik was struggling with himself, too, and that gave at least some satisfaction that he hadn't been the only one suffering in this "friendship." Bakura, who had turned around briefly, pivoted again to meet Malik's eyes. He wasn't sure what had happened. One minute, they were staring at each other solemnly, another moment they were ravenously kissing each other.

Bakura slammed Malik into the bench, straddling him, his eyes hazy with lust. "My poor Angel," he purred, his fingers performing a teasing dance down his chest to his hips, the touch vanishing as he removed his fingers.

"Go to Hell," Malik growled, smirking despite the threat. "I won't lay here obedient for very long, Bakura."

"No?" The Demon queried, his eyes glinting. He leaned down, sliding his mouth over Malik's, thrusting his tongue in his mouth, his tan fingers burying in the latter's white-blonde hair, clenching over the locks. He brought his mouth away, running his tongue over his throat, his fangs nipping at the soft flesh. "Then fuck me, you pansy ass Angel." Malik growled at him, bucking underneath him in frustration. Bakura shuddered, feeling their cocks grind against each other's. "Enough," he gasped as Malik continued his assault. "Enough!" He lifted himself with his wings, flipping Malik on his stomach. The Angel let out a gurgle of surprise, but didn't struggle. Bakura panted with the effort to control himself, at least for just a moment.

"...Bakura," Malik hissed as the seconds ticked by. Bakura didn't respond, remaining still, staring wildly at the male beneath him. "Fuck me." Bakura choked on his own breath, but didn't protest. In fact, he gladly complied.

Malik huffed out a breath as the memory ended, remembering how many times he'd had sex with Bakura after that until God and Satan both had had enough. He wasn't sure what had happened to Bakura. He suspected the punishment had probably been worse. He doubted, though, that Satan would exile his son to Purgatory as God had done to Malik. Ah, Bakura, Malik thought wistfully, smiling wanly. I miss you.

The days passed that Malik wandered aimlessly in Purgatory, some taking pity on him and feeding and clothing him. It was a kindness he didn't deserve, he knew. By the time a month had passed by – he finally had been able to tell time, been able to understand these measurements these Humans' lives were drawn by – his wings had fully healed and he had resorted to thieving to get his things. He was good at it, too. No one suspected him. He lived comfortably because of it.

And then he found him, living just as comfortably.

"Damn women," Malik muttered one day as he streamed through crowds in the mall, glancing behind him disgustedly at the gaggle of girls whispering and giggling, staring after him. He shook his head and turned his head back around only for his shoulder to slam painfully into another's. He whipped around to unleash his temper – he had never been allowed to have a temper in Heaven, though it was honed nicely by Bakura – and saw said man staring at him with a touch of bemusement. Malik blinked in bafflement. Bakura's eyebrows snapped down and he grabbed Malik, kissing him hard on the mouth. Well, that will shut those whores up, Malik thought, gleefully responding to the kiss.

"Malik," Bakura rasped hoarsely in his ear as they clung to each other with spectators watching them with disgust, awe, and a multitude of other emotions. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Around," Malik replied carelessly. "Shall we go somewhere private?" Bakura frowned, then looked at those who were watching him and nodded. They two of them strolled outside, their hands stuffed in their pockets. As they walked through the parking lot, Malik said quietly, "I'm a fallen angel now, Bakura, exiled from Heaven and stuck in Purgatory."

"I imagine you are," Bakura said dryly. "I doubt you were ever meant to be an Angel. You're so much like a Demon." He brushed some hair out of his lover's face. "Still, where've you been?"

"Trying to survive in this damned place." Bakura frowned, looking thoughtful, before shrugging.

"I found it rather easy." He glanced at him, continuing, "I was exiled, too, because I was a shame on my family, on Demons, and Hell itself." He shrugged again. "I hate to say it, but I'd actually hoped you were exiled to Purgatory, Malik. I didn't want to be here alone. You have no idea how awful it's been without you." Malik's sharp gaze after Bakura's confession softened and he smiled at Bakura, hugging him tightly.

"It's good to be with you again."

"Mm," Bakura made a sound of agreement, brushing his lips over Malik's. "So! Shall we get married?" Malik snickered, shaking his head and moving ahead of him. "What? What are you laughing about?" Bakura demanded, stomping after him.

"Bakura, you are a pig." Bakura eyed him, then snorted.

"I'm not the only one in this relationship." He paused. "Besides, I could making the wedding night a very special night." Malik's eyes sparked up with interest, knowing that Bakura hadn't had the time to show him all the tricks in the bedroom.

"Hmm...Maybe..." Bakura chuckled and the two of them continued to wherever it was they were going. To anyone else, they didn't look like an exile Angel and Demon in love walking together. They looked like two normal friends strolling together.

Well. Let them think what they wanted.

Finis

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DIS: (bows head, a nervous smile on her lips) This was supposed to be an Anzu/Malik one, but it came out so much different from what I had been shooting for. I got a bit too deep in Bakura and Malik's friendship and so I didn't care for the original story line. Anyway, I know this was pretty OOC and not too good, but I hope it'll be okay for the time being. Please tell me how you liked it since this is my first yaoi fic. Ciao!