Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy. Believe me, if I did, things would be a lot different.
Author's Notes: Okay, so I haven't been writing enough fanfiction lately. I've been lazy, reading other people's stories and obsessing over how wonderful they are, then tossing out my own ideas because I don't think they're good enough. Well, that ends now! Partially because I really want to write, but mostly because I think my friends will kill me if I don't actually write out at least one of the ideas I've told them about.
Warnings: The rating may go up in later chapters, but I'll try to behave myself. I like my beta reader, and I don't want to lose her because of random porn or something ridiculous.
This is dedicated to MeowMeowKy, for being the best beta reader and friend a person could ever have. To MistressKaia, for putting up with me and my brainstorming over the phone. Lastly, to Dualism and The Writer you fools, for being my favorite authors on this site (that I don't know personally).
Most people hate having a lot going on in their lives. They hate feeling overwhelmed, not having enough time to finish projects, and not being able to relax. I suppose it's a human quality. Most people like to have periods in their lives where everything is simple and clean. I'm not most people.
My brother would say that I'm being pessimistic. My brother is a die-hard optimist, so I don't listen to his advice unless he's having a (rare) moment of wisdom. Don't get me wrong; I love my brother. Sora and I are as close as two people can be without being one person. I guess that's only to be expected, though, seeing as how we've spent nearly every waking moment of our lives together.
Sora and I are twins. Not quite identical, but people mix us up anyway. Older than me by two minutes (a fact he points out often), Sora doesn't have the motivation to be as pessimistic as I am. He sees the best in people, as well as the rest of the world. I've never been given the chance.
I could try to blame this on my mother, but since I don't remember her, it wouldn't be fair. I don't know who my father was. If I said I wasn't resentful of that fact, I would be lying. If I wanted to blame my dark outlook on life on something, it wouldn't as simple as pointing my finger at one person and shouting, "You're it!" No, I don't think life is quite that simple. I could always try to blame Sora, as well as those beings I wish I could say I don't believe in. None of this is Sora's fault, though. It's mine. I'm the one who, at the tender age of eight years, decided to deny the existence of something my brother and I had been able to see for as long as I can remember. I know he took it hard. I can still picture the confused and hurt expression he had on his face when I shouted at him to leave me alone.
For whatever reason, he's never held it against me. We did begin to drift apart after that incident, but I don't think he ever believed that I stopped seeing them. As absentminded as he seems sometimes, my brother isn't stupid. He knows me and my reasons for doing things. There would never be any way for me to hide something from Sora. He and I have always turned to each other for ideas, motivation, reassurance, and support. So, inevitably, he knows how I think. If I don't see something, maybe I won't have to know about it. What I don't know won't hurt me, right? If only that were true.
Sora has every reason to be optimistic. He makes friends everywhere he goes, and has two friends that he would do anything for. They return this gesture, from what I can tell. I rarely see Riku or Kairi, but I trust them. Sora trusts and loves them, so I can have a little faith. I've learned to. My own friends, Hayner, Pence, and Olette, tell me not to worry about my brother. They're his friends, too, so I try to listen.
I suppose the only person's advice I always heed is Naminé's. She and I dated for most of our high school careers. From freshman year until she called me halfway through senior year, crying and apologizing for "not loving me like she should." She and I agreed that we had become too much like siblings to date, but still cared enough about each other to remain close. Naminé always manages to remain calm and gentle while soothing my violent temper with cool words and logic. Naminé has told me to trust Sora's judgment, so I will. That doesn't mean I can't worry about him. That's something I can't help but do.
None of these things have really affected my life strongly until now. Senior year was insanely busy, but everyone's lives were normal. We were studying for tests, completing projects, working out last-minute requirements for our desired colleges: normal high school activities. We were all too busy to think, and I was comfortable with it. Then graduation came.
I won't say I hate summer, because I don't. I love going out for ice cream, going to the beach with friends, hanging out at the "usual spot," and sleeping in every day. Summer vacation is what most every teenager wishes their entire lives were. Sometimes I catch myself wishing the same thing. Only sometimes. People forget the lack of things to do that summer brings as well. The heat becomes too much to bear, and people stay inside and waste away their lives in front of a TV. I hate TV.
I suppose most people will say that they like summer because they don't have to do anything. They can sit around and think, allowing things to come to them. What they never consider is whether or not one of those things will be so life changing that their entire world view is altered forever. This, of course, never happens to most people.
My name is Roxas Hikari, and I am not most people.
Ending Notes: Thank MeowMeowKy for this thing. She's managed to correct all of the stupid little mistakes that I make without thinking, as well as make everything understandable. This prologue was short, and I apologize. The chapters will be longer (and make more sense).
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