Dear Journal,
Actually, that sounds ridiculous. From now on, I'll address you as simply journal. I'm a new man, after all. A lot has happened since I've written in you, centuries happened. I'm 2,000 years old give or take, with a new set of regenerations. Yes, I've miraculously regenerated, and I'd like to call it "love from Gallifrey". However, I don't exactly know why Gallifrey would grant me more regenerations. It makes me wonder..what exactly is the reason. The Time Lords may have two hearts, but that doesn't mean there's actually any kindness in them. You may be wondering how this regeneration went? Well, I've gotten rid of the brown hair. It's been replaced with silver hair instead...still not ginger. Perhaps, all the complaining I've done, this is my punishment. I have a new accent, though. Scottish, which is excellent. I can complain about things now! Not sure Clara would enjoy the brooding, however. Ahh yes, Clara. I'll talk about her for a minute. I won't deny that I was afraid she would abandon me. Like many companions, regeneration seemed to have scared her. She didn't understand that regeneration is a lottery, and although I did not look young anymore, I was still the same man. I would be lying if I did not admit that I was afraid..oh so very afraid. Perhaps, even more afraid than her, more afraid than I've ever been. I was afraid that Clara would abandon me when I needed her the most, and it destroyed me to realize that she didn't see me..all I wanted was for her to see me. Honestly, I knew this would occur. So, before I regenerated, I phoned her from Trenzalore, asking her to please help my future self, whoever I ended up to be. I'm still not sure of who I actually am, and it'll take some time to adjust. I would not have been able to do it alone, and although I could have replied on Vastra, Jenny, and Strax (although not so much on the later), I needed Clara. I will admit, before this all occurred, I mistakenly thought of myself as Clara's boyfriend. I confessed this to her, and she thought I was suggesting that it was her who believed we were together. But oh Clara, it was I. I had these intense feelings for Clara, and I thought she reciprocated these as well, however I believe I was mistaken. My Clara...she did not abandon me at the end. We had a disastrous encounter with a dinosaur, and I had forgotten how to fly the TARDIS, and I know she must of been afraid of who I was. Afraid of who I became. I know this is only the beginning, and only time will tell if we'd ever return to how we were. I'm a new person, though. And some things have changed, but I will try to make the best of it. I don't exactly know where I stand when it comes to these feelings for Clara. But for a moment, when we were both sitting in that restaurant, and I reached for her hand, I felt that connection once again. I doubt she felt it, so I suppose it will be best for me to suppress anything I ever feel. Anyway, I must be on my way. I seem to be missing something, so I must remember. I'll be back soon.
Farewell,
The Doctor