author's note: i honestly haven't written fanfiction in such a long time - but I just got this inspiration for a bleach fanfic. like, what if it were a different universe but similar to the original. a twist on the main events and a look into the minds of who these people are. what goes on behind closed doors. anyway! I hope you like the first chapter!
vertigo
(n). a sensation of whirling and loss of balance, associated particularly with looking down from a great height; giddiness
" and then there are times when the moon is silent and the wolves are howling," - george carlin
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Sometimes, the magic in life seemed to swelter down to hues of grey. The clouds twisted and turned, lackluster without anything to keep them vibrant and whimsical - and on those days, it was like the world was on a standstill despite how people kept moving even within the absence of color and meaning. They walked without purpose and without life, content in the essence of hopelessness and despair. But, magic was eternal, dancing under smog and keeping close to the shadows until it could work up to a spark to shower the world in such a myriad of colors that the lifeless could find hope again. Until then, everything would seem dark and bleak and civilisation would continue to take aimless steps. Or was it all just a simple trick of the mind? Was it the darkness in the hearts of man that took to shadowing over so many souls? Or was something else at work?
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Sunlight creeped through the cracks of her curtains, illuminating her face and revealing the particles of dust that flew in a soft waves around her and the room. They danced above her face - to the crisp melody of birds and simple talk of the people that passed by on the street, each footstep loud and clear in her mind as it stirred her from the grips of sleep. A sleep that held expansive lands and the clashing of swords, adventure and the hope of something absolutely wonderful. But, sleep couldn't last forever and neither could dreams when one had reality to face. She opened her eyes slowly, brown irises and shrinking pupils as they adjusted to the light. She stayed still, turning her head to the side, strands of ginger falling against her cheek.
Her eyes darted around the room, eyeing the time on the clock - six thirty, before eyeing the door that connected her room and the bathroom. Her heart constricted when she came upon a closed door that peeked out from beyond the contents of her room and she quickly looked away.
Picking herself up, Orihime stared down at her lap, bed sheets covering her legs and ran a hand through her hair. She unwound herself from the confines of her sheets and threw her legs over the sit of her bed and let her feet touch the floor as she slumped forward to stare at her toes. It was silent except for the music of nature just outside her window, she didn't speak - basking in the silence as she closed her eyes. All of a sudden, she pushed herself up to her feet and stretched her body backwards - back arching. "Hnnngh." she groaned, sighing as she felt her limbs stretch with her ministrations. After, she immediately lets her body relax and heads into the toilet room for a quick morning pee break before heading into the main bathroom.
Her reflection stares back at her after she slips on her bathroom slippers, leaning against the sink as she holds onto it. Her eyes are blank, tired - puffy. Her hair hangs limping around her face, framing it - with messy bangs without the lack of her treasured clips. She stared down at her chest - unfit for someone just fifteen. They should be smaller, she should look younger. Instead, she resembled a woman - innocence stolen from a young age. She shook her head and stared down into the sink. Her world was different than your average person, an overactive mind that held thoughts darker than what her friends assumed were in her head. She was filthy, disgusting. A liar and imposter in a world of heros and the gifted. Secrets are cleverly disguised lies that resemble the truth and the truth is always grey.
What use were these thoughts anyway, she could only live as who she was born as - even if her own self was clouded in a disgusting shade of grey. Still, she managed to smile into the mirror, a ritual she used to get ready for the day in the case that she runs into someone she knows. "Ah. Today is going to be a wonderful day! The sun is shining and the birds are so beautiful. It's kind of like...even if aliens took over the planet, it'd still be wonderful." Sometimes, she didn't even know the nonsense that came out of her mouth. How did she come up with this? But it did get her into the mindset she needed just to survive today. To drown out all those dark thoughts that followed her upbringing, only to intensify after Sora's death just three years prior.
After she mentally put her mask on, she began her skincare routine - one of the only things she looked forward to everyday. She followed every step, making sure to cleanse herself and moisturize her face, of course adding sunscreen for the day. She stared at her glowy skin, proud of her work. Her hair is still pinned up in a high pony-tail, keeping her hair out of her face she takes out her makeup products. Rarely did she go all out, only opting for concealer, mascara, eyeliner and a natural blush by lightly pinching her cheeks. She drove the mascara down, to make her eyes look more rounded - kinder. That was who she was meant to be and how she was presenting herself to the world. She barely recognized herself after applying her contacts to bestow a dusty grey to her eyes. She didn't need them for sight, but rather to further the lie she has carefully crafted following the death of her brother. She wanted to reinvent herself, to hide the pain behind brown eyes and perhaps...a certain someone would notice her, despite the similarity of their hair.
She let down her pony-tail, taking her brush and fixing the mess and the frizz. Leaving her bathroom and slippers behind, she heads back into her room to grab the hair clips from her side table. She places them in her hair, leaving her bangs slightly scattered across her forehead.
Still in her pajamas, she heads towards her closet - each item secondhand and thrifted - she couldn't afford anything else. The money she got sent every month was only enough for necessities and no extra pleasures unless she really pinched pennies to save up for the occasional bakery item. Pulling out a long patterned skirt and simple top, she begin to get dressed.
When finished, she headed into the kitchen to cook something simple. Her ingredients were cheap, odd and she simply had to make due with what she had - even if that meant creating awkward concoctions. Some actually tasted good or were her taste buds just getting used to such a small palette. Bread, butter, cheese and red bean paste was her meal for today. She had things to do such as shopping for more groceries and putting money away to save up.
Orihime sat in silence, the comfort of her own kitchen only to further her loneliness after her meal was complete. There was no music, no life - just a still oasis of grey and blank feelings inside her stomach. She felt as if she were sinking the longer she stood there, her body was heavy and her eyes began to sting. But she blinked herself into reality and took a breath that she desperately needed to collect herself. She pushed off of the counter and headed into the main room, situating herself infront of her brother's altar and begins to pray. She told him the good things, leaving out the bad - she didn't want to worry him in the afterlife, after all - he'd finally just gotten to rest and she can still remember the events from nearly a week ago, up to the point where she was drugged. She had to pretend the forget, less she wanted to raise suspicions and alarms to just how special she was - the secrets she kept from her friends.
She told him about her dream of the other world, with fighting and adventure - happiness. Happiness that was just out of her grasp.
Breathing in the incense that she kept burning, she stands up and moves to head to the door where she kept her purse already packed with things she would need - namely her wallet. Before going back into her room to grab her phone.
Now, she was ready for her -
The moment Orihime stepped outside, she became dizzy - nearly falling apart right then and there. Something was wrong, something in her gut, but she pushed on. Unaware of eyes watching her from the shadows of the day. Her intuition told her to be careful, but she couldn't survive on just bread and jam for the rest of the week - her supplies were dwindling. Perhaps it was a fluke, despite how her mind screamed at her to run back inside and lock the doors.
She pushed herself to go forward, steps echoing against the pavement, loud and clear. It was quiet, even the birds were still. There was no one else around except for her, except for her thoughts and that was never a good place to be. Her heart was shuttering, beating at her ribcage for a release - almost as if she herself were in the process of dying. Fear and anxiety was such a strange sensation, what with the trembling and sweating of her palms. She was being watched, someone was there and they were waiting for the opportune moment to strike.
The minute she heard the brake of a car two streets ahead, she turned on her heel and ran back to the comfort of her home. She fumbled with her keys - shaking, paranoia racking her brain. When the door was open, she pushed herself inside and locked it behind her. She slumped against the door to still her beating heart. Closing her eyes in the process as she slid down and onto her bum.
She knew the moment she got involved with this world, the world that lay secret within this town, that her life would never be the same. It'd be another restless night.