Letters to Peggy

Chapter One

…

Ted Chaough stands in the crowded New York SC & P office, the announcement of the McCann buyout and his return is being announced, but his eyes are fixated on one person – Peggy. He swallows hard and reminds himself to breathe. He hasn't been in her presence since that awkward morning over coffee back in January. It has been months and yet, he thinks to himself, she looks just as beautiful even with her furrowed brow and crossed arms.

Months previously…

After telling Peggy the news of his decision, to leave New York and her and go to California with his family, Ted walks out of the office with his coat in arm and instantly regrets his decision. He flies out to California with Pete; his family will follow after he has settled things and found a place for the family to live.

In the plane, Ted and Pete sit next to each other and Pete orders drinks for the both of them.

"Ted, this is a new beginning. Leave New York in the past."

The drinks arrive and Pete eagerly toasts to the new office, Ted gulps down the drink before Pete finishes.

Weeks pass, the holidays come and go, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Ted's family is now in Los Angeles, and the boys love the sunny winter days in Los Angeles. Ted takes every meeting he can get, stays late in the office, waiting for news on Peggy's accounts.

It is New Years Eve and Ted sits in his Los Angeles office, he clutches a glass in his hand and out his window hears people celebrating well before midnight. He closes his eyes and remembers the year before leaving a party early, still in his tux, walking into the office and finding Peggy hard at work on the Kos ad. He brings his drink to his lips and thinks of her; he sets it down on the table and picks up a legal pad and pen.

Dear Peggy,

It's New Year's Eve. Tomorrow is the first day of 1969, and I am sitting alone in the Los Angeles office thinking of you. I know you may not want to hear what I have to say. Your last words to me have lingered in my brain these past weeks, "aren't you lucky to have decisions". I have so many regrets in my life, but I mostly regret leaving you and that night – that special night we had, I should have stayed.

I don't know when I will see you again, or how that will go. I am still in love with you, and I don't know if I'll even have the courage to mail this letter to you. I only hope that you don't hate me, even though you have every right to.

Yours, Ted.

Ted sets down the legal pad and flips a page over. He looks it over again and this time flips over the entire legal pad, and buries his face in his hands. As fireworks start to sound off in the distance and cheers are heard from partiers, Ted lets out an exasperated cry.

It is January, Pete and Ted are in an orchard for a Sunkist meeting. Pete picks an orange right off a tree and looks over to Ted and see's he is hunched over a legal pad scribbling away. Ted didn't mail the letter, instead carries around a legal pad filled with letters –brief and long, meant for Peggy. He finds solace in the act of writing.

Dear Peggy,

Pete and I are in an orchard today, it's the middle of January but it feels like summer. You would like Los Angeles; the warm sun on your skin would give you a lovely tan. I stay in the office as much as I can, and only came to this meeting today out here because of Pete. I miss you. I miss you every day. I don't know how much longer I can keep up pretending with my family, they know things are wrong and I don't say a word. My face is giving me away these days, I am unhappy – that's an understatement. I hope the New York winter isn't being too much for you. I do miss seeing your cute outfits. Do you still wear that beret?

I should be in New York very soon, I hope I see you. I want to see you. I want to tell you so much.

Yours, Ted

Ted flies into New York to catch up on accounts and Cutler greets him in his office and asks why he doesn't have a tan. He expects to be asked questions, but disregards it and wants to be kept up to date on accounts, and specifically asks about Peggy's current work. The next morning he arrives early, he puts a slice of bread in the toaster. He stands there and anxiously waits to see Peggy, he didn't see her the day before and still unsure about giving her these letters he's written. It's then while he is lost in thought he hears Peggy exclaim "Stan, do you want some coffee?" He takes a breath and Peggy finds him in the kitchen, he offers a warm greeting but she is scathing.

Ted clutches his briefcase, the legal pad filled with unmailed letters tucked inside. He reconsiders giving them to her now, in this moment.

Peggy exclaims again, "Stan?" And all Ted can do is mutter quietly "He said yes…" and Stan comes rushing over to the kitchen. Ted can feel Peggy's eyes full of hate burning into him and all he wants to do is escape the situation before it escalates. Stan says he thought Ted would have more a tan and Peggy quickly responds "well, you're in an office there you're in an office here, what's the difference?" and Ted's fears of Peggy's unrelinquished despise is ever present. His toast pops up; he takes it and quickly leaves. As he walks away he stops briefly outside the door and exhales. He overhears Stan tell Peggy "Buck up, chief" and her response "I'm fine – it's fine". Ted continues on to his office, closes the door and lies down on his couch.

Her words ring in his ears "I'm fine – it's fine".

He rushes to his briefcase and takes out his legal pad; he flips through to a blank page.

Dear Peggy,

I am sorry. This morning, just now, we had our exchange in the kitchen. I wanted to tell you about these letters, but it only just dawned on me how much you really do hate me. I feared this and now I don't know if there will ever be a way to fix this. Maybe this is all hopeless.

Yours, Ted

Ted tosses the legal pad on the coffee table and lies back down on the couch. He hears the intercom buzz and a knock on the door but doesn't answer. He curls up on the couch and puts a pillow over his face.

Weeks pass, Ted is in Los Angeles again and whenever are new accounts discussed he always brings up Peggy. He has finished his model plane, a plastic toy meant for his boys that they didn't want and so he ended up making it in the office – anything, he thought, to preoccupy his mind. Pete barges into Ted's office, complaining about Bob, complaining about not getting the recognition he think he deserves. Ted looks over the upcoming calendar of meetings and see's Valentine's Day is coming up, a flash image of Peggy in that black dress with the pink bow comes to his mind and he closes his eyes to savor the memory.

"Ted, are you even listening to me?" Pete exclaims.

Ted breaks his focus, "Yes, go on…"

Ted continues to write in the legal pad, it never leaves his side now; he clutches it tight and for him, when he clutches it he is clinging to the idea of Peggy and the possibility of their love. Pete catches a glimpse of the writing one instance he bursts upon Ted in his office, he only reads two words but it is enough for him to know Ted's real troubles, "Dear Peggy". Pete scoffs.

"Pete, this is private."

"Is she why you are the way you are? You are useless to me, Ted."

"Close the door." Pete closes the door and takes a seat on the couch, Ted comes around his desk to lean against it and face Pete.

"I was in love with her too, Ted."

Ted's face flushes red with anger and jealousy, he clutches the rim of his desk with his hands and the force soothes him, as he wants to punch Pete in the face, as if he could ever understand what Ted is going through.

"Have a seat, won't you?"

Ted exhales and takes a seat.

"I was married too – had just gotten married. And well…"

Ted glares at Pete.

"No one knew. When it ended, it was difficult, I thought impossible, but we've learned to work together. So you see, I understand."

"Pete, this isn't the same." Ted stands up again and walks over to the window.

"Sure it is. You're married, you aren't leaving your family –you love her, but you wouldn't take that risk."

Ted turns around quickly, "But I would! I was going to – I still want to. But she –" Ted stops himself, as his voice has risen and Pete looks shocked by his words.

"I am still in love with her, Pete. And she hates me now. Even if my situation changed – she hates me."

A silence settles in the office.

"That night we had dinner and drinks the three of us, I saw it that night, the way you two looked at each other – she is in love with you."

Ted's voice turns soft, "Maybe she was at one time…"

Pete stands up, "Well, Ted. Moping around this office isn't going to help. So do something." He points at the legal pad "Just mail that already if you really want her back. Now, I have a meeting with Burger Chef."

Dear Peggy,

Today a man walked on the moon and all I could think about was how I was not watching this historic moment with you. I'm hearing good things about your idea for Burger Chef; I know you will blow it out of the park. I wish I could call you right now – I've been writing these letters and not sending them for months now, I thought it would help get me past this but it hasn't. Even if you aren't around me I feel your presence, when I heard your voice in the conference call I felt you in the room. I miss you. I miss you terribly. I want so much for you.

I just heard the news about Cooper's passing. I will be in New York tomorrow, I hope I finally muster the courage to give you these letters and maybe in time you will hate me a little less.

Yours, Ted

..

Cutler motions to Ted; the announcement of Ted's return receives applause from the staff. Peggy looks at Stan bewildered and they exchange a glance, Ted notices this but tries to put on a smile for the office. The announcement ends and the office disperses in all directions, Cutler takes Ted by the arm to guide him to his office, as Ted adjusts his tie and watches Peggy and Stan walk down the stairs together.

"Let's celebrate, Ted! Drinks?"

"Actually Jim, I'd like to go to my office and catch up on some things."

"All work and no play…"

Ted heads down the stairs, he hears Peggy's laughter echo in the hallway. He is back, officially back in the New York office now, a hasty decision but one he does not regret. He heads to his office.

"Mr. Chaough, Nan is on the phone for you?"

Ted is dazed, he's much too excited to have seen Peggy and the news of his return is finally seeping into him.

"Tell her I'm busy. I'll call back later."

He busts through his office door, his coat and briefcase are on his desk. He closes the door behind him; he opens his briefcase and takes out the legal pad. He sits on the couch clutching this pad of paper, almost filled with letters. He flips through the pages, every "Dear Peggy" and "Yours, Ted". He lies back on his couch and tucks the notepad between the cushions. How can he give her these letters now, everything changed so quickly in that meeting, and then there is Nan and his family. He assumes the call from Nan was to see if he arrived safely, she has no clue of the move.

Ted finally emerges from his office and finds most people have gone home for the day, his secretary is still there and he asks if she can book a room for him at a hotel. He wants a night in a different place and not his home. He grabs his things and walks down the hallway, he reads Peggy's name on her door and smiles just then her door opens and he quickens his pace.

A week passes, Ted's move back results in Nan having had enough. She opts to stay and keep the kids in Los Angeles; Ted doesn't want a fight and concedes. No one in the office knows, but rumors spread that Ted is staying in a hotel.

"Mr. Chaough, Ms. Olson is here to see you."

Ted bolts out of his chair, adjusts his tie, presses the intercom and responds "send her in."

"Good morning..." Peggy starts.

"Good morning, Peggy. Did we have a meeting?"

"Oh, no. Nothing like that. Can we talk?"

Ted nods, and Peggy closes the door.

"I should have spoken to you about moving back, it happened very quickly and I-"

"Ted…"

Ted closes his mouth and lets Peggy speak.

"When I heard you were moving back and would be here, I was upset, but we are professionals and we will be working together. I hope we can move forward."

"I – Peggy, things have changed."

Peggy tilts her head and clenches her teeth.

"We just have to work together. That's all."

"If that's your decision, Peggy."

"It is."

Peggy leaves Ted's office, as Ted pours himself a drink; he drinks it in one big gulp and looks over at his couch. The legal pad of letters, he has written in a week. He thinks, if only she knew…but the thought doesn't last long before a partners meeting is called.

…

Ted is at a partners meeting when Peggy returns to Ted's office. His secretary informs him he is busy and will be out for most of the day.

"Do you know where he left his notes for Burger Chef? I forgot to ask him earlier."

"I'm not sure…"

"I'm going to look; it's probably on his desk."

Peggy steps into Ted's office alone, she closes the door. She looks at the used bar cart and pours herself a drink.

"Notes. Notes…" she mutters to herself. She sits at his desk and shuffles around some papers, nothing. She moves to his couch, she once caught him lying down on his couch when frustrated and so mimicked his pose. She wondered if her perfume would attach to the cushions. She lifted the cushion to adjust for her back and it was then she felt paper. She pulled out the legal pad of letters Ted had written to her but never sent.

Ted's secretary knocks on the door, "Ms. Olson?"

"Yes, still looking."

"That's quite all right. I'm going to lunch."

"Okay"

Peggy begins to read the letters.

…

Ted returns from the meeting hours later.

"Mr. Chaough, Ms. Olson is in your office."

"Oh?"

"She was looking for notes for Burger Chef, I think she found them – I'm not sure. She has been in there for a few hours should I?"

"It's fine. Go home. I'll see you tomorrow."

Ted walks into his office, Peggy sits on the couch, she is on the last page of the letters. Ted closes the door and sets down his things.

"I don't know what to say…" Peggy starts.

Ted swallows hard and moves to sit on the couch beside her. "So you've read them?"

"I've just been sitting here reading these, and I couldn't believe it. So I read them again…"

"I wanted to tell you, I wanted to give them to you but the timing never seemed right and you hated me and I thought – I thought if I did give them to you...you would just tear them up."

"All these months, you were writing to me…"

Ted nods.

"I almost sent you flowers on valentine's day but after that morning in the kitchen, I wasn't sure how you'd be respond so I didn't."

Peggy bursts into tears.

"Oh, Peggy, I'm sorry, for everything."

She sniffles and reveals, "I don't forgive what you did."

"Of course not."

"And there's Nan. That hasn't changed."

"We are getting divorced. She filed as soon as I moved back here."

"Oh..." is all Peggy could say. "Is that what you were trying to tell me this morning?"

Ted finally breaks a smile, and softly replies "yes…"