Britt: I was killing time before class, I hope you all enjoy it.
Whiskey Kiss
I didn't ask questions when she showed up at my door, I just let her in.
I didn't berate her when she cursed at me, I just smiled my usual little grin.
I didn't tell her I loved her, I never said anything.
I didn't hold onto her, not after everything.
And there she was, a look of sadness in her eyes. A pain so deep I was caught between regret and the things I wanted to fix. The reasons I knew I should, and the selfish reasons why I wouldn't.
I didn't comfort her when she cried.
I didn't even look at her in the god-damned eyes.
I didn't acknowledge her fury, disgust, or hate.
I didn't reach out, I'd just wait.
I'd wait like I always did, a game of cat and mouse. Caught between the silence, lust, and doubt. I wouldn't move forward, I never looked back, and hated she me for that.
There was always whiskey in her kiss, I didn't mind.
There was thunder in our blood, time after time.
There were things I regret as she walked out the door.
These were moments I'd wasted, just like before.
I ran after her, I don't know why. I fell to my knees, I cried, nearly died…or so it felt, as my heart clearly tried to stop itself. I couldn't breathe without her, I knew it now. I was lost, alone, and afraid of myself.
She didn't ask questions when I showed up at her door, she just let me in.
She didn't berate me when I cursed at her, she just smiled her usual little grin.
She didn't tell me she loved me, she never said anything.
She didn't hold onto me, not after everything.
She was drunk again, I could smell it on her breath. She was hurt, too filled with regret. She hesitated, caught between the things she wanted to fix, the reasons why she should, and the very damn good reasons why she shouldn't.
She didn't comfort me when I cried.
She didn't even look at me with god-damned tears in my eyes.
She didn't acknowledge my fury, disgust, or hate.
She didn't reach out, she'd just wait.
This was a sick, sick game, one of cat and mouse. She didn't want to play it, that much I could tell. Caught between silence, lust, and doubt. She needed to move forward, it hurt to look back, and I couldn't do that.
There was always whiskey in her kiss, I didn't mind.
There was thunder in our blood, time after time.
There were things she'd regret as I walked out the door.
These were moments she'd wasted, just like before.
A few years' later, perspective, and time, we passed by each other waiting in line. We were at the store, my basket was full of things for a family of four. She looked at me, we were grown women now, she with a lover, and I with a spouse. Pleasantries exchanged we went on our way, memories surfacing of the good old days.
I didn't tell her I loved her, I never said anything.
I didn't hold onto her, not after everything.
She didn't acknowledge my fury, disgust, or hate.
She didn't reach out, she'd just wait.
There were things we'd regret when we walked out the door.
These were moments we'd wasted, just like before.