Stan's Previously Owned Dictionaries
Are you tired of not knowing words? When someone walks up to you and says "Hello" do you find yourself hearing "iuwdwefq"? Are you always taking your daughter to pay a taxi fare instead of riding the ponies at the state fair? Did you get denied your junior college degree because you told your professor that your thesaurus was on display at the museum? Is page turning your idea of a riveting competitive sport? Do you like books? Have you ever confused a love letter for a death threat? Do you suffer from an insomnia so extreme that even dunking your head into a bathtub full of anesthesia provides no cure? Is your name Merriam? Have you ever needed a good paperweight? Were you looking to find that perfect gift for that special someone? Do you need something to toss at those mewing cats that crawl out of the dumpster behind your apartment every night at 3AM? Do you like the smell of old, musty paper? Are you collecting rare mold spores to genetically enhance your army of mind-controlled monkeys? Is verbal communication important for your day-to-day interactions?
If you answered "yes" to one or more of the above questions, then Stan's Previously Owned Dictionaries Emporium is the place for you! At Stan's, we strive to provide you with the best fitting previously owned dictionary suitable for your needs!
Purchase your previously owned dictionary today and receive this limited edition autographed LeChuck voodoo doll absolutely free (plus tax and S&H)!
Forms of payment accepted: Spanish doubloons, gold statues (no pyrite parrots, please!), hold full o' booty, jewels, bag full of gold plated wooden nickels, any cash won playing banana futures.