Here we were, the two of us. Face to face, lips locked. Not Prepared.
When it happened, I didn't expect it to be blissful or as passionate. I was expecting disgust or embarrassment. I was ready to be ridiculed for life. Although I feel myself to be the dominate one, at that moment, I felt weak. A commoner in his embrace. A servant in his kingdom. I felt safe as well. I felt as though I would always have someone to watch over me, always have someone be there and understand me. I knew that my feelings towards him were forbidden, never to be spoken- or even thought of!
Even though those passions were just released, those emotions had been bottled up for all eternity, set free by someone in the back of my mind. He would only be known as one thing, forever and always: My Brother.
I was about twelve at the time, everything in the world was so important to a girl like me. I would constantly suffocate myself within girly nonsense, such as: boys, silliness, sweaters, comedy and, occasionally with my brother, mysteries. For a long summer, thinking back to it now made it seem so short, I stayed in the town of Gravity Falls. A small, somewhat forgotten area in Oregon. My brother and I were forced to go, due to lack of outdoor activities in my hometown. When we arrived, I swore I could shoot excitement out of my face! I loved the idea of staying someplace new for a while. I even recall gaining a small summer romance, for I was in desperate need of one.
The upside of this small narrative section of my life wasnt the romance or the mysteries. It was the adventure.
I, myself wasn't much of a person who wanted to go outside. I wanted- well, I- I don't really know what I wanted at the time. Figuring that out would be a mystery itself. All I know is, no matter how hard I tried to avoid it, everyday in Gravity Falls was intense, exhilarating and down right messed up. Period.
The full story to this are memories. Ones that should be forgotten, and damn well destroyed. Ones that my brother and I gave up on years ago.
I swore to myself to never think of those lustful passions. Never again would I want to be with him in ways you can't imagine. I had struggled for a long time, wondering if he- the one who caused my pain- would remember for himself. Wondering if he would remember. He would. He, Him...
Dipper.
My whole face burns with anger? Embarrassment? I want nothing more than to scream. Yell at his face. Push him away.
Yet I was the one who started all of this. I had teased him; his innocent self. I was the one wearing my skirts a little too high. I was the one wearing my shirts just a little too low.
What did he do? He sat aside, trying so hard to hold in his emotions and trying to diverse the magnet between us. I don't blame him. I can't explain why I always toyed with him. I guess I liked the attention. The way he would stare me straight in the eyes and tell me so much by one facial expression. I loved messing with his little brain.
He pulls me closer, no space between us. Our lips move in a cadence. I can feel my bed on the back of my knee, soon he'll fall on top- or maybe it was I who pulled him down. Either way, neither of us plan on stopping.
I feel his tongue trying to find mine in our rhythmic moves. I let his wet item find my own. Sweetness is what I taste. Sweetness. It's the only thing taking me through ecstasy. His hand reaches up my skirt, making me release noises I didn't know existed within my fragile body. I start to shake, my fingers tremble as I tightly grip his shirt.
He pauses for a second, locking eyes with mine. Swirly, minty-green shadows bounce off the center of his iris, merging with the chocolate-brown that match my identical orbs. A smile tugs at his lips, his eyes barely glance at my neck, then return to our locked stare. I almost dare him to go for it.
He uses his elbows for support. My legs wrap around his abdomen. Without a single breath, his lips find their way to my neck. As expected. He becomes more rough, testing my ability to fight back. I screech, wrestling with him to stop. I don't think I've laughed so hard in my life. Now we're playing. The two of us. Messing around. Somehow I gain my confidence and end up on top.
I bend down and kiss him.
Meaning it.
Not regretting.
I'll never know why I chose to make that choice. I was young and foolish. Such a small memory had a huge impact on my life. My brother certainly remembers. But you know, this was Gravity Falls.
A town where, literally, anything can happen.