Author's Note: I think I did a pretty good job with this one. It maybe could be considered a sort of prequel to the Harlequin series, even though Harley's obviously not in it. Could possibly be how the Joker and Crane met, too - I was planning on writing a tale on that first, but this one popped up faster - although that would still leave the question of how Joker knows about Jonathan's Scarecrow personality. A certain reviewer-friend of mine should find this appeasing to her kin twisted desires (hahaha).

Jonathan stood behind the glass doors leading out to the familiar balcony that was part of his rented living space, absentmindedly crunching a peppermint to dust between his teeth as he gazed down at the dank alleyway between this housing complex and the next from his third-floor apartment, when his other personality unexpectedly spoke up from within the back of his ever-pondering mind, beginning with his name.

Jonathan.

Why, hello, Scarecrow, Jonathan thought back pleasantly.

You never stop thinking about him, Jonathan. Let's face it, you can't - and neither can I. Scarecrow seemed almost ashamed to admit this. You've even started to look for him every night, from up here on the balcony.

And exactly to whom are you referring? Jonathan thought coolly. I am merely enjoying the scenery, as I do every night. But this, of course, was a lie.

Admittedly, the psychopath was a source of strange fascination for the doctor - a man so intent on inciting chaos, so without morals, was certainly worth studying in Crane's book.

You know very well who I mean. And he's "merely enjoying the scenery" as well.

It was then that Crane took notice of a certain purple-jacketed clown, who stood leaning back against the far wall of the alleyway - and who was looking up at him.

Jonathan couldn't be sure at this distance, but he could have sworn the clown had just winked at him.

See?

Crane's eyes narrowed.

This is most irregular.

Looks like you've got yourself a little stalker, Jonny-boy.

Crane's eyes dilated in annoyance, his pupils shrinking. Shut up. And never call me that name again.

Jonny-boy. Scarecrow tittered excitedly at Crane's aggressive snarl. You're never any fun, you know. Anyways, I'm bored - let's see what he wants. Let's have some fun, Jonny-boy.

Crane sighed. Very well, he thought as he withdrew one of the doors to the terrace in invitation. But you're not to interfere. Understand?

Whatever you say, Jonny-boy.

Silence.

Crane sighed again in irritation, massaging the bridge of his nose wearily with his thumb and forefinger as he walked into the kitchen, removing his glasses and setting them down onto the counter as the homicidal clown leaned casually against the doorframe with his arms crossed.

"You've got quite a, uh, nice little place here, Jonathan," he said conversationally.

"What do you want?" Crane snapped.

"Mmm - not in the best mood this evening, are we, Jonathan?" He clicked his tongue admonishingly. Click-click.

Crane said nothing, freeing his houseguest to continue.

"I, I mean, what happened - did, did somebody put you under and give you a sex change against your will last night? Hmm? You, you see a guy, like me -"

"How dare you question my masculinity!" Crane hissed.

The clown shrugged dismissively. "Well, if the shoe, uh, fits. . ."

"What - did you want to see my genitals?" Jonathan exploded again.

The Joker had always been a creature of impulse, and he always acted on those impulses - as he did now.

"Well, actually. . ."

Without warning, he shoved Jonathan up against the wall and kissed him.

Every fiber of Jonathan's being radiated with shock and horror at what the Joker was doing as he bucked and twisted, struggling to get away - but Joker's strength was much more superior to his own, enabling him to pin Crane harder against the wall as he ran his tongue along the roof of his mouth. Jonathan gagged; but then an emotion he could not name enveloped him, made him submissive to Joker's advances, and he kissed back - he couldn't help it. Joker's lips were surprisingly sweet - although Jonathan somehow doubted it was the lipstick. Twisted pheromones, perhaps.

In any case, after several long minutes, Joker released him.

There was a moment of silence in which each of them gasped for breath, staring, awed, into each other's eyes. Then -

"You faggot," Crane spat - but then surprised them both by bringing their lips together again so fast that their teeth clicked as they met. He grabbed Joker's hand and forced it against his now throbbing erection, grinding himself into the gloved palm, his whimpers of arousal muffled by Joker's lips.

Jonathan gasped as the clown swept him up when the broke apart and, giggling excitedly, carried Jonathan into the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind them.

And then Jonathan found himself lying flat on his back in his bed, wearing nothing but dark green plaid boxer shorts. Joker, stripped down to his purple suit trousers, was unzipping his fly as he slipped his narrow waist between Jonathan's lean thighs. He paused as he knelt there, his hands resting on the mattress to either side of Jonathan's sleek torso, visibly quivering in anticipation.

"You of course realize that both our reputations and our levels of power in the criminal underworld and elsewhere would be jeopardized if anyone found out about this." Jonathan tried to keep his voice from trembling, and failed. He had never even been kissed before, only now realizing - and accepting - that he was indeed a member of the homosexual community - and he guessed by the Joker's fearsome reputation that he hadn't the chance to discover this about himself until these past few moments either.

"They won't," Joker reassured him - and promptly shoved himself down roughly into his lover, pressing deep, harshly concrete, literally growling as a kind of predatory lust blazed in his depthless brown eyes.

"Nnnngh!" Jonathan locked a scream of pain behind clenched teeth; his erection was burning, as if someone had shoved a fistful of lit matches into the stretched muscle. He knew sex - at least the first time - was supposed to hurt a little bit in the beginning - but not like this. Joker had inserted himself much too hard, the entry too forceful - careless, hasty.

The very masochistic Joker hissed with pleasure as Crane dug his long ragged fingernails deep into the clown's biceps in a sudden panic.

"Joker, please! Stop - it hurts!" Jonathan sobbed, tears blurring his vision as they brimmed over from his blinding blue eyes and flowed down his cheeks. "It hurts!" The last word was whispered, straining through Crane's agony.

The sight and sounds of Jonathan crying struck some unnamable force deep inside the Joker; he extricated himself as gently as was possible, crooning softly, "Ssh. . .ssh. . .It's all right. . .I'm sorry. . .I won't do it that hard again. . .Here -" and he kissed Jonathan tenderly. He then sat back and inspected his partner's genitals for injury.

"You're bleeding," he observed, sounding incredulous; Jonathan merely sobbed harder.

"Ssh. . ." Joker murmured again, sliding backward and lowering himself down onto his belly atop the mattress, still between Jonathan's legs - and gingerly licked the blood and masculine secretions from his lover's erection.

"Ugh!" Jonathan squirmed away, horrified despite how hard the man's actions had caused him to become. "Joker, that's disgusting!"

"Not necessarily. . ." Joker smirked, glancing at Jonathan's crotch before following the bony contours of Crane's body until he met those oh-so-blue eyes again. "You seem to like it," he pointed out pleasantly.

Jonathan said nothing in reply, but the Clown Prince of Crime could see the visibly quickened pulse throbbing in Crane's neck, right along with his erection.

Struck with a sudden - albeit twisted - idea, Joker slithered up and over Crane again, his voice pitched deep and gravelly as he purred seductively in Jonathan's ear, "Wanna suck my cock, bitch?" He giggled at the utterly-repulsed expression on Jonathan's face.

"Ugh - no!"

Joker shrugged dismissively as he slipped down on the mattress again. "It was worth a try."

Starting at his knee, he began to kiss his way up Jonathan's thigh. Seeming to be suddenly puzzled, he stopped at about midway along, his eyebrows rising skeptically as he looked up at Jonathan again.

"You shave your legs?"

"What's wrong with that?" Crane's tone was instantly defensive.

"Nothing - I kinda like it, actually," Joker amended. He resumed kissing Jonathan's thigh. "Mmm - smooth," he murmured, almost to himself.

Then, his breath warmed his lover's groin; he looked up, an expression of the most perverse hunger flaming in his brown eyes.

"May I?" he wheedled, almost pleadingly.

The normal reaction would be to immediately throw up at the nauseating implication - but the somewhat feminine dual personality that it was directed to was anything but normal.

Scarecrow immediately wanted to try it, whispering to Jonathan eagerly that it might be easier on his low tolerance for pain than what the Joker had forced upon them earlier - Crane agreed that he did have a point.

"All right." His voice shook only slightly.

Joker smirked, and lowered his head to Jonathan's crotch again.

Jonathan squealed, digging his fingernails into his palms, his whole body gone rigid from the sexuality of the clown's actions. After a moment, he emitted a shuddering sigh, his long-lashed eyelids fluttering shut as Joker's gentle wet sucking tugged slightly at his erection, sending thrills of pleasure racing up his spine.

Mouth turned up at the corners, Joker cupped Jonathan's cute ass in his palms and sucked harder.

Crane's heart raced, his body shining with sweat as he trembled and gasped, cheeks flushed with heat.

Just when Jonathan thought that he wouldn't be able to take it anymore, the clown stopped with a contented sigh, clambering up and over Crane again as he wrapped his arms around him. The clown's musky scent was both a source of excitement and surprising comfort to Jonathan.

"So - my dirty little bitch liked that, did he?"

Eyes still closed, Jonathan nodded vigorously. He enjoyed the way Joker had referred to him specifically as his "dirty little bitch" - perhaps more so than he should.

"Let me see those, uh, baby blues again, sweetcakes."

Crane opened his eyes to find Joker kneeling over him sexually again.

"How 'bout we give 'er another try? I'll be real gentle," the dominantly-positioned of the pair wheedled.

Jonathan drew in a deep breath, releasing it slowly, and cautioned, "Easy."

He then sighed in relief, finding no pain as Joker eased himself inside and out of Jonathan again - but then his hormones surged once more. He arched, moaning, and touched his fingers to the clown's lower back, wordlessly requesting for him to go farther, faster.

The wicked leer was back. "Beg." The Joker giggled.

"M-more!" Jonathan stuttered, eyes wild with excitement. "P-please!"

Joker smirked and raised and lowered his hips again, smoothly, panting himself now as muted kitten-like mewlings convulsed Jonathan's throat. Joker did it again and again, gasping, sweat causing his makeup to run. Drooling slightly, he licked Jonathan's neck and cheek like a dog - the latter moaned at the lustful high. Joker growled with pleasure as Jonathan yanked at his hair and raked his neck with his teeth - if it wasn't in his lover's best interests for Joker to fuck Jonathan, then at least Jonathan could fuck him. Jonathan scraped his teeth and fingernails across the clown's chest in ragged lines until the skin reddened, biting at his nipples until they bled freely.

Some might wonder at how two people could be so opposite in their joint at the hip - one craving violence and delivering gentle caresses, the other needing soft care while exhibiting such fierce tendencies - but it was a sort of twisted art form that perhaps, in time, only Jonathan and the Joker would be able to perfect.

The masochist watched Jonathan's lips tremble as the latter gasped for breath. He could see that Crane was beginning to weaken and tire - which he understood because after all, that was a lot of sex, especially for their first night. He personally was nowhere near ready to stop, but he gently extracted himself and rolled off anyways - they would have plenty of time to experiment with each other in the future.

Joker threw his legs over the side of the bed, rolling his shoulders and cracking his neck as he sat up. He had just begun to think that maybe Crane could let Scarecrow out to play, and the three of them could tour Gotham City's rooftops, Joker-style (which mostly involved tumbling down freely through space very high up above the ground - and which, admittedly, Jonathan probably wouldn't like), when he felt a soft, almost feminine hand at his elbow. He turned and saw that, to his dismay, Jonathan had begun crying again.

"Don't leave me."

The tearful whimper triggered a hidden reflex buried deep inside the Joker; he lay back down and wrapped his arms around Jonathan again. No, they would stay here tonight - Jonathan was far too delicate right now to go adventuring.

"Wasn't planning on it. Honest." He kissed Jonathan's forehead.

Reassured, Jonathan relaxed, snuggling closer to his partner, and looked up at him.

"I love you." He blushed as he whispered this, searching the lunatic's brown eyes for a reciprocation.

As much as he wanted to, Joker couldn't quite repeat the affectionate phrase - it just wasn't in his nature.

Yet Jonathan seemed to understand this, his cerulean eyes shining knowingly as he tucked his lover's hair behind his ear, smiling into the Joker's kiss as the night enveloped them.

END

In writing this, I actually discovered something about myself: I can personally stand, without making myself sick, to write about Joker "sucking cock" - but NEVER Jonathan. If I may borrow a view on their relationship from one of my reviewers, Jonathan is "far too delicate, you see." Please review.