"What are you doing?"
It was a terrifying feeling, to believe yourself to be completely alone, only to hear the sound of a voice behind you.
The feeling only intensified when you heard the question posed from above you.
Lisanna screamed a bit, from her position down at the base of the tree, and tossed the hands that had been rubbing at her eyes over her mouth in fear. As her fright washed away though, she was left with her head tilted back, staring right up into the eyes of her guild's lockal seith, who was dangling upside down from a branch.
"What," she hissed right back, "are you doing?"
"Me? Bein' the typical dark knight I am. Checkin' in on lonely poor ol' Lisanna, see? Me and my babies, we can't let a woman sit around and cry. No. No! We have to step in. Course, being dark knights and all, we won't do much once we find out why she's crying, but-"
"Did you follow me here?"
"As much as you and your kind think it," the seith complained as he stills stayed there, danging above her, "the rest of us in the guild don't sit around wonderin' what you're gettin' up to. We have our own lives, you know."
"What are you talking about? The rest of us?"
"You, Natsu, Erza." He about spit and they were both thankful he didn't because if he had, he'd have definitely at least dribbled on her some and, well, that would have made an already south heading conversation hit the pole immediately. "You all think that you're so important to the guild. Piss off. The rest of us are nothin' to you all, aren't we? Think we go around stalking you. Ha. Ha. No way, Lisanna. No way."
For a long few moments there, the pair only stared into one anoother's eyes. Well, Lisanna stared into the bars that hide his eyes, but same thing.
They were in the middle of the forests surrounding Magnolia. It was a warm summer day and, apparently, perfect for sobbing your heart out. Not at all something Bickslow imagined the woman doing. Also not at all something that she expected someone to stumble upon her doing.
It was a pretty awkward situation all around.
"If anything, Bickslow," she complained then, glaring up at him in a way he'd never seen before. Not just the glare, but literally her face, upside down. "You're more in that group than I am."
"Na-ah."
"Yeah-huh."
"I'm a dark knight, Lisanna."
"What does that even mean?"
It didn't matter.
"You know," he said as his tongue fell from his mouth and she was so disgusted she she squeezed her eyes tightly shut at the sight, "between you and I, Lisanna, there was a time when in this position, fine, I very well might have been stalking someone."
"I mean, are you admitting to a crime? To me? Because-"
"But not anymore. I'm a taken man and all."
"You are?"
"I am."
"By...a woman?"
"Ha! Ha! Like a woman can handle me."
"A man then?"
"Ha! Ha! Like I could handle a man."
"Bickslow, why are you bothering me?"
"I," he told her as his tongue rolled back up into his mouth, "am taken by the likes of no other."
"Dying to hear it."
"I am taken by the ways of fatherhood."
"You what?"
"Fatherhood," he told her in a righteous sort of way, "has a way of consuming you. Leaves little for the interests of others."
"Do your dolls even eat?"
"Souls of those who mock them, yes."
And she titled her head back again, just to glare up at him. It was occurring to her then though that, all he needed was to tilt his head a certain way, his visor to slide up, and bam, he could use some of that eye magic on her. Control her.
For some reason though, she wasn't horrified by the thought.
Only continued to stare right up at him with no fear whatsoever.
Until his tongue fell right back out of his mouth and she finally jumped up, away from the tree then.
"Why's such a busy father here then?" she challenged. "Following me?"
"Didn't follow ya."
"That's the only way you could have ended up in a tree right above me."
"Maybe I's sleeping in it and you just plopped down and woke me up. Ever think of that?"
"Okay, well, why were you sleeping in a tree then?"
Bickslow still only hung there, staring at her upside down. The entire thing was unnerving, to say the least, and Lisanna was still a bit lost by the whole thing. The seith seemed right in his element though.
"I like the smell of wood."
Lisanna still eyed him then, becoming more annoyed with the situation as time went on. That time, she challenged, "Where are your babies then? Huh? Father of the Year?"
It was then that there was some rustling from a bush behind her and, as Lisanna jumped, turning to face it, five little wood encased souls popped out because why the hell not.
Honestly, at that point, why not?
"Oi," the man griped though his dolls were very excited to be acknowledged and began to sing the woman's name as they gathered around her, "what is this, huh? Am I the big bad wolf in your granny's bed? That it, Lisanna? All these questions?"
"Well, you're definitely a wolf in sheep's clothing."
"Don't get biblical with me," he retorted right back. "You think a father of five isn't godly?"
"When the five are unholy? A bit, yeah."
She had him there, but Bickslow was fine with conceding that as he instead changed the subject.
"I answered all of your questions," he grumbled to which she snorted, arms falling over her chest.
He'd never seen her cry before, like she had been when he arrived, but the way she was acting now was different too, from how she was up at the hall. Could...could Lisanna be like him? A dark knight too/ Cast to play a role in order to hold up the sanctity of the world? He doubted it, but who really knew.
"Yeah," she said with a glare, "with riddles."
"You're the one that brought wolves into this, kid."
"I am not a kid."
He looked to ridiculous, hanging there, but she didn't imagine she did either. Her and her sister, well, their skin was so pale already that, when they got overly emotional, it tend to get a bit red. And then all that rubbing at her eyes had done nothing for her other than make them puffy. So they were a bit even there, probably.
"Fine, lady," he corrected then. "What were you doin' out here? All tearful and things? I answered you, so answer me. 's'only fair. Since you're such an adult and all."
While Lisanna had been miserable for the entirety of their encounter, Bickslow had actually enjoyed it in a weird way. Other than Evergreen, he was rare to get any female attention. For Lisanna to be verbally sparring back with him, why, it was grand. Really.
She still wasn't a dark knight though.
At that moment, Lisanna didn't feel like much of anything, actually. Other than the biggest crybaby in the world because it was then, int hat exact moment, that the tears began to well in her eyes once more and she started to cry her eyes out, crumbling to her knees on the ground.
It shocked Bickslow and his dolls so much that they took to landing on the ground beside her, as if to check on her, while the seith only fell then, from the tree, his legs seemingly giving out.
He got a nice bonk on the head from the hard ground as a reward for all his troubles.
"Lisanna," cried the little dolls. "Papa made you cry?"
"What?" he roared as he sat up, rubbing at the top of his noggin, even pushing his hood down so he could run his hands through his now trounced Mohawk and search for the growing knot. "You little shits. This is what I get for being Father of the Year? Abuse allegations?"
But Lisanna was lost in herself then and any fun they'd had before, throwing insults back and forth, was over. She was crying too hard to hear him anyways, probably.
Shoving up finally, the man went to walk over to the youngest Strauss and stand over her, watching with a heavy frown.
"I'm...sorry," she got out through her tears as she began to rub furiously at her eyes. He still didn't speak, but it seemed fine then as she was going to do it for both of them. "Bickslow. I… It's just so hard, sometimes. All of it. Elfman and Mira, they mean so much to me, but sometimes I just...I start thinking about what it was like, before I...before… And then Edolas. What happened to my other Mira and Elfman? What if they need me? It feels like being split between two worlds. But I can't say that to Mira. No. She works too hard already. And I can't tell it to Elf. Not that I want to go some places without him sometimes, on jobs, even, because then he'd get his feelings hurt or not feel like a man or… I just come out here to be alone. To do this. Cry. Like a stupid baby. They're right. They do have to shelter me from things. I'm just a stupid baby. I should have stayed dead."
Bickslow wasn't good at these sorts of things. That's what Evergreen told him. That if someone was having some sort of emotional crisis, don't make jokes, don't make light of it, just tell them that he was too emotionally stunted himself to properly handle such a situation and far too immature. If they'd like actual help, please speak to literally anyone other than him. She said it would save both he and the person having such a situation from a lot of turmoil.
But Evergreen wasn't there to boss him around.
Which meant he was able to get himself all tangled up in things he shouldn't be in.
Honestly, why she didn't just stick a tracker on him and only allow him to go to a set list of places, he had no idea, but had no plans of informing her this could be a viable option.
"If it makes you feel better," he said as he got down there then, on his knees beside her, and held out a hand, which the woman only stared at with tear filled eyes, "we're all dead already, kid."
"W-What?"
Nodding, he said, "We're born dead. And we live dead. And we die dead. It's already predetermined, right? That eventually we'll die? So why worry about it? Just hope it's not too painful and get on with it. If you're lucky, maybe you'll find some poor, lonely schmuck like me, huh? To take your soul as it wonders endlessly through the afterlife. Give ya a better life. A meaningful one. Until I'm right there with you. Dead too."
She sniffled then, finally, before whispering, "You're weird."
Nodding, he said, "We're not too different. Me and you. Your parents are dead, my parents are dead. You got run out of your village, my family got run out of our circus. You died, I'm the keeper of the dead. Practically one and the same."
"No," she replied even though she was still clearly upset and tears were still pooling in her eyes. "We're not."
Still, he only kept holding his hand out to her and when she finally did take it, he gripped it tightly as he helped pull her to her feet.
"Think of it like this then, kid, if you gotta," he said once they were both standing. "You've already died, basically. Went through all the stages of it, yeah? Hell, for all you know, you were physically dead right up to the last second there. And you conquered it. What's there to be afraid of after that, huh? Once you conquer the unconquerable?"
There was a beat there when they just stared at one another, in that little clearing, where neither was sure what to do next. Just like that though, it was gone and Lisanna was jerking her hand back and Bickslow was only moving his to rub some more at his poor head.
"I should get goin', I guess," he said simply. "Get some ice on this. Don't do that too often, fuck up and bash my head so strongly. Maybe that's what I'll do to baddies now, eh? Possess 'em, make 'em hang up side down, then set them free!"
Sniffling, Lisanna told him simply, "It's a good way to kill someone."
"Yeah, well, like I said, they're already dead anyways, huh?"
But he was moving to walk passed her then and Lisanna wasn't sure why she said anything at all, honestly. The whole thing had been bizarre and she wasn't so sure the freak wasn't stalking her, but…
She didn't want him to leave without finding out, at least. Or that's what she told herself anyhow.
"Why were you really out here, Bickslow?" she asked as he reached the edge of the clearing. Still, the seith stopped. "I know you weren't really sleeping in that tree."
His dolls, who'd been following after him, turned to face the woman, but the other mage didn't follow suit. Instead, he only shrugged.
"Hear someone crying, I check it out," he said simply as he glanced over his shoulder at her. "Saw it was you, someone I kind of, you know, actually know. Of course I came to see what was going on."
"Even though I'm one of the self-important people, according to you? In the hall? Even though?"
He nodded as he continued on then. "Even though."
She was left alone then, but her tears had all dried up and there wasn't much else to do other than go back over to that tree and fall back against it's trunk with a long sigh.
She wouldn't see him again though, Bickslow, for a good few weeks. He and the Thunder Legion hung around more often then, sure, than they had in their younger years, but that in no way meant they were frequenters. They took the longest, hardest jobs available to those without an S-Class rank and, when Laxus was around, even those with the man. She thought she wouldn't have much time to think about such a thing, anyways, considering most everyone she knew was around then. Her siblings, of course, but also Hap and Natsu, as well as Levy and Juvia. Plus, she and Elf even took a job between then.
Still though, she did find herself thinking of the seith a few times. And what would happen when they saw one another again. She didn't figure much, but they kind of had had some sort of a moment that might classify them as more than guild mates then. Friends? Pals? Buddies? Somewhere in one of those.
Maybe.
She wouldn't force the subject if he wasn't feeling it though.
Honestly, knowing the seith as (little) well as she did, she just hoped he didn't act like too much of a fool when they did run into one another.
It was actually at one of the worst times that she saw the man once more. She and Mira hadn't gotten into an...argument. She wouldn't even classify it as a disagreement, really, but she'd kind of discouraged her sister from taking the smallest of jobs you possibly could, alone, and it was just so annoying to Lisanna that she thought that she could tell her what to do and...and…
She wanted to go out into the woods and just decompress.
It was the only place she had, really, where no one else was. Where she could be alone. Truly alone.
Well, other than the last time. But every other…
Lisanna didn't make it to the woods though. No, she hardly even made it off the Fairy Tail grounds. She was just out the gates when she felt some of the tears start to well up in her eyes and, well, as she tried to blink them away, she accidentally ran into someone.
"Oi, kid, watch where you're goin', huh?"
"Watch where you're going, Lisanna," five voice agreed. "Why'd you run into Papa?"
"I'm sorry," the woman was able to get out around rubbing at her eyes. "I just-"
"Hey, cut that out," he complained at the sight of her eyes glistening in the afternoon sun. Taking a few steps back, he remarked, "I'll start thinkin' it's me, you know, making you all sad and shit. And I don't want that. Got enough burdens on me, being a single father and all. I-"
"Bickslow, I have to-"
"Go to the woods? Great! I wanna go too."
"W-What?" She'd started to go around him, but stopped then to grown at the man. "I don't-"
"I fucked up before, hanging upside down like that, but I won't again! Come on."
"Come on, Lisanna," his babies insisted. "Let's go to the woods."
She started to turn back to go into the guild once more, a frown evident on her face. She wanted to call him weird and flee back to Mirajane, to explain this to her, but that would involve telling her about their first run in and, well…
But then Bickslow glanced back at her, over his shoulder, and even lifted his visor to wink.
"C'mon," he insisted with a grin. "I won't really take ya out to the woods to murder ya. It would be too obvious."
"Too obvious?"
"The creepy guy that stalked her out to the woods before? Definitely first on the list when the woman disappears. Basic trigonometry."
"I don't think you know what trigonometry is."
"You would be correct."
And she was rushing to catch up with him then, her tears dried as her arms folded over her chest and she accused, "So you were stalking to me."
"No," he said with a bit of a shrug and his dolls repeated the statement. "I wasn't. But I know that's probably what you told your sister, huh? And friends? That's why I said that."
"I didn't tell anyone anything."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah." And, beside him now, she made a face up at the man as she said, "I know this may be a surprise to you, Bickslow, but it's not remarkable for the rest of us when we have an encounter with your type. We have our own lives, you know."
For a moment the seith was silent. Then, snickering, his tongue tumbled from his mouth and flashed his guild marking.
It was like a seal, really. On whatever it was they'd reassured was going on in that moment. Perhaps not friendship in it's truest form, but certainly something similar as they went out together, to go get something to eat, the seith declared. Which, for them, involved more getting something on a stick in the bazaar and walk around the place a bit. There was still an air of awkwardness that hung around them, but the longer they spent around one another that day, the more it seemed to fall away.
There was an ease to their conversations, anyways, as Bickslow mostly seemed to want to talk about the job he'd just returned from. Well, the prank he pulled on Evergreen while gone on said job. It was Lisanna's own fault, after all, as she'd brought the woman up in passing and the seith just start going on and on about her.
"You and Evergreen sure are close," she remarked simply to which he snickered and his dolls chanted the woman of stone's name."Elf would be jealous."
"What's your brother even want with her anyways?"
"Sounds like you're jealous."
"No." And he meant that. "If he wants her, then he can have her. If she wants him too. Just interested, is all. Don't even seem like they'd get along."
Shrugging herself then, Lisanna took a bite of skewered meat before swallowing and remarking, "Sometimes attraction is more than the naked eye can see."
"Maybe not your naked eye. But mine-"
"I meant..." And she paused some, glancing up at the sky. "I meant that maybe there's more to them. That we can't see. There's more to us all, right? And not all relationships have to be understood by everyone to exist. Just the two people in it."
His eyes fell though, to the ground, as he considered what the woman said. Softly then, he asked, "Are you gonna tell me what got you so upset this time?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You ran smack into me 'cause you were all tearful and shit. What? Your sibling sucking shit again?"
Making a face, she said, "My siblings don't...suck shit, Bickslow."
"Course they do."
"What do you know? About siblings? Or mine for that matter?"
"I know a lot."
"I doubt it."
"People tell me that I give people bad feelings," he griped as his babies echoed the sentiment. "But it's not me. It's you. Tryin' to be a pal here and you're just-"
"I'm sorry." Her eyes fell down too then. "I just don't wanna talk about it right now. That's all."
He perked right back up, without any effort seemingly put into it. "Alright then," he said as he even bounced some, on the busy little street. "Let's go do something more fun then."
They had something of the sort, anyways. Bickslow took her inside a pretty tall building in town before making her climb the stairs all the way to the top. She wasn't too sure what they were doing and was even more confused when he used a trick to get the lock on the roof access to click open before stepping out up there.
Reluctantly, the youngest Strauss followed.
"What are we doing?" she asked as he headed across the flat rooftop, over to the ledge of it. "Bickslow?"
"What's it look like?" To her surprise, he clambered right up there. "We're jumpin'."
"What?"
It was with a snicker though that, instead of diving straight off the ledge, he took to walking around it, placing one foot in front of the other.
"One day," he decided as he took to holding his hands straight out, as if to help with balance. "Today though, we only train and prepare our minds for it."
"You're psychotic."
"I know. But my mind will be calm and pure when it comes."
"I don't know anything about pure.'
"A dark knight like me? Probably don't either, actually." Then, with a hum as he continued his slow trek around the perimeter of the building, he added, "Sometimes I just talk to talk. If you haven't notice."
"Oh, I definitely have."
"Get up here with me, Lisanna," he ordered then. "I mean, if you fell, you'd just turn into your little birdy transformation, huh? And flutter away?"
Making a face, she did come over to the ledge, at least, to glance over the side of it. To him though, she only said, "You sure know a lot about me."
"I know a lot about everyone."
"Because you stalk them?"
"Because I just do. Now get up here. Chicken."
Only somewhat.
She worried that someone would see them up there though, as she got up on the ledge herself, but no one seemed to. His dolls fluttered about aimlessly while Bickslow only continued to walk around the ledge with ease.
Lisanna felt much less emotionless about the whole thing. She shook, at first, and it got much worse when she looked down.
Bickslow, not even looking over at her, only said, "Why are you afraid? You've faced the toughest of monsters. You did face the toughest monster. And died, yeah, but then lived, somehow. What's a hundred stories up compare to something like that? If Elfman didn't crack your puny skull open, you'd probably even survive this. You're immortal now, aren't you, Lisanna? What does the immortal fear? Time, I guess. Never-ending time. Just endless conciseness that you're the only immortal one around, probably. Are you a god now, Lisanna? Should we worship you? Or are you a witch? That we should burn at a stake."
"A couple things," she complained as she shut her eyes and tried to imagine what it would feel like. That endless free fall. "I didn't fully die, you know. And even if I did, I'm definitely not immortal now. And immortality doesn't mean that you lack the ability to be killed, like a god. It means that you won't die of time itself. Morality doesn't affect you, but those around you do. Also, why is being a witch so terrible? If we're already wizards?"
"Oi, kid, don't poke holes in my ponderin's. I don't come up here for answers. I come up here for questions."
"Then where do you go for answers, Bickslow?" she asked as she peeked and eye open and looked down. Bad idea.
"See that building across the way? I go there."
"Wait." She stopped her steps then and opened her eyes just to frown over at the man. "You go to a completely different roof and-"
"Get my answers, yes. Problem?"
She eyed him for a moment before sighing and giving in. As her steps resumed, she only replied, "I suppose not."
They saw one another much quicker the next time. It wasn't even because she was upset or anything. Just about two days later, Bickslow was hanging around and she'd just gotten off from a shift up at the hall and, well, they just kind of fell into step with one another, as they left the hall. There were no plans. She found that when they hung out, there rarely were. But they were never bored. They found other things to do.
"There's a lot more to this city, you know," Bickslow told her once, "than most people give it credit for."
Rhyme and reason fell out the window, when she was with Bickslow, and though that first they that they were around one another, it had only been because of her siblings, as time went on, she found that her frustrations with them, and life, were less the topic of discuss.
Rather, they found much better things to discuss.
"You cannot be serious."
"I am, Lisanna."
"You want to evolve humans-"
"Yes."
"-to have their taste buds-"
"Yep."
"-on their fingertips."
"Only thing that makes sense to me."
She eyed him suspiciously as she said, "What would that help? Honestly? What could it possibly-"
"Why do people over eat, Lissy? 'cauise they like the taste."
"Or they have a deep personal trouble that hasn't been addressed."
"So with the taste buds on our fingers, they can feel all over shit, you know, get all those good tastes in their minds, and then they won't eat as much anymore, I figure."
"I'd really like you to not feel all over things with your nasty fingers, thanks."
"It's the perfect idea, Lisanna, and you're just shitting on it."
"That's a funny word to think up because, Bickslow, what's something you do with your hand that you really wouldn't want the taste of?"
"Uh...I really wouldn't want to taste the paint I use to get my babies looking all spiffy, if that's what you mean."
Her suspect look turned into uncontainable giggles as the seith only held his head high and his personal opinions higher.
Those were the sorts of things they discussed while roaming about their city and the surrounding. Lisanna liked it, very much, honestly. Like a new experience all together. She still wouldn't rank hanging out with Bickslow as above, like, being with Natsu and Happy or her sister and brother, but it was…
It was different.
Being around Bickslow was different than any other sort of friendship she'd had before.
And she was really beginning to like it.
It got to the point there, that first month, that they seemed to hang out at least every other day. He went on a quick job, one weekend, but that day he came back, they immediately went to go find something to do together. She knew that it was just the shininess of her new friendship that was blinding her in this way, but it felt really good.
Even Mirajane told her that she thought that they were pretty cute together, her and Bickslow, along with a giggle into her palm.
"It's not like that," her younger sister insisted, blushing deeply from the insinuation.
And it wasn't.
At that time.
But that didn't mean that eventually it couldn't be.
And it was about a month later, when they were just hanging out on one of those building roofs, the one meant for answers, and he was talking and she was listneing and their shoulders were touching, because they were sitting htat close to one another, and she glanced up at him at the exactly right moment and they just kissed.
That's all.
She hadn't felt such a relief in a long time, either, from such a small act.
There was a smile at her lips that mirrored his when they both pulled back a bit to look at one another. Bickslow reached up to push his visor above his eyes, so that he could really grin at her, and Lisanna was just staring at him, really looking at the man, and he just…
Letting his visor drop, his face contorted into a grimace and there it was. That horrible thing that always happened to Lisanna. No matter how perfect something was, she should know by now to expect it to all go to shit.
That's just how her life went.
"Lisanna, I have to-"
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"
"No. No, I liked… I'm glad you did. Or I did." Then he galnced at her. "That we did. I, uh, I think I really like ya."
She bit her own lip then, waiting for it. Softly, she prompted, "But..."
"But," he agreed as he looked forwards once more. "I think I might have to tell you something."
"Please don't tell me that you like my sister more than me. Or anyone more than me. Or that you don't think that we'd be good together or that I'm too immature or-"
"It's nothing like that."
"Then-"
"You know how you thought I was stalking you? Back when we first started hanging out?"
She frowned then, deeply, and even scooted a bit away from him. "If you're going to tell me that, then please, don't do it either."
"I wasn't really," he insisted then, turning to glance at her again. "Honest, Lisanna. I just..."
"You what?'
"See, the boss, Laxus, I mean, well, you know him and your sister are gettin' all close and she was complaining to him about how weird and lonely you seemed, recently, and he told her not to worry about it, yeah? That he'd take care of it? And then he had me… Lisanna, no, don't get up. I just- Laxus wanted me to just check up on you and you went into the woods that day and I-"
"Are you serious? You're joking, Bickslow, aren't you? Tell me-"
"I wanted to be honest because-"
"You're only my friend because Laxus and Mira-"
"No! I only stalked you 'cause of that."
"Oh, because that makes it so much better!"
"Lisanna, listen to me." And he jumped up to his feet too then. His babies, who'd been chasing one another around on the other part of the roof, came rushing over at the sound of a brewing argument. "I only told you that because-"
"Because you feel guilty and-"
"Yes! Yes, I do, now that we're-"
"We're not anything."
"Lisanna-"
"I know how you are," she accused then, her arms falling over her chest, crossed tightly. "You'd do anything to impress Laxus. And you think that if you and I...if you pretend-"
"I'm not pretending."
"How can I ever trust you're not?"
"How could you say that?" he challenged right back. "Huh? So I followed you because the boss told me to. And? So what? I didn't stick around because he told me to. I didn't spend the past two months sticking around because he told me to. I did it because I...I… Lisanna-"
"You what?"
"I...I like you. A lot. I don't know why, but I do. And-"
"I have to go."
"No, you don't, you- Lisanna!"
"Lisanna!" cried his dolls after her as she rushed right back through the roof access door and left them out there, all alone. Just him and his not so imaginary friends.
She wanted to be alone too then, Lisanna thought. But her feet didn't carry her to the woods. No. They carried her home where she wasn't too shocked to find Mirajane home considering she had the afternoon off, but she definitely wasn't pleased.
And then there was the fact that he was with her.
"Lisanna," Mira greeted as she came into the living room through the front door. "Laxus and I were just talking about-"
"You think I'm lonely, Mira?" her sister challenged back, as she came to stand before them. While her sister could be a bit aloof, Laxus was far from it and had picked up on her off demeanor the second she came through the door. As he tried to get to his feet though, Lisanna only glared and remarked, "No, Laxus, you stay too. Since you think that you can just sic your stupid bodyguards on me. My life isn't some experiment for the two of you. Keep your freaky friends away from me. I don't want anything to do with any of you."
"What are you talking about?" Mira made a face before looking to Laxus. "What did you do?"
The slayer though only groaned as he leaned down to rub his palm against his forehead.
Why, oh why, could he have not relegated the task to Evergreen? Or Freed? Sure, he thought that Bickslow could handle just this one little thing alone, but he should have aired on the side of caution, always, when dealing with the man. He knew this. So why did he just give the situation to the sieth on a plate? One he knew he was so likely to fuck up?
But Lisanna only went and locked the bathroom door behind her before sliding down it and pulling her knees close to her chest. Folding her arms, she hid her face in them as she didn't cry, really, because this wasn't something to cry about, but did drown out the sounds of Mira trying to talk to her from the other side of the door by drifting into her own head.
She hated Bickslow in that moment. More than Laxus. More than Mirajane. Because while they were the reason that this had all gotten so confused, he was certainly the one that perpetuated it. That let her get all mixed up to begin with.
Lisanna couldn't hide forever, of course, but when she emerged from the bathroom, she refused to talk to Mirajane and instead just took off. She wasn't sure who she was looking for, when she first arrived at the Fairy Tail female dorms, but the second she spotted Evergreen hanging around the front, clearly waiting for someone, she knew exactly why she'd come.
"Whatever your brother wants-" the woman of stone started, but Lisanna, for the first time in her life, cut her off.
"Is Bickslow just my friend because of Laxus?"
Evergreen, who'd been leaning up against the building while filing her nails, made a bit of a face as she stood straight. "I'm sorry, Lisanna, but have you confused me with someone else? Who would actually care about-"
"Does it? Just tell me, Evergreen. Please. You know...girl to girl."
"I'm not a girl, girlie," Lisanna was assured by the other woman. "I'm a lady."
"Evergreen-"
"What is it that you want, Lisanna? I do not care about you nor him and your silly drama, so-"
"There's no one that he trusts more," she insisted. "So if he told anyone-"
"He would have told Freed, actually. And I resent the acussation that I would even listen to such nonsense anyhow."
So would Freed, actually, probably.
"But Freed's a guy," Lisanna kept up. "And he wouldn't, you know, tell on Bickslow. That's just a thing about them. But you would tell me."
"Why?" Ever questioned. "Why would I ever tell you anything? At all? Because we're both women? Is that what you think? Or because of who your brother is? Hmmm? Because both of those will find you flat on your face with me, Lisanna."
"No," Lisanna replied though somewhere, yeah, that probably was the two main reasons. "Because...we're..."
But she couldn't come up with anything. And Evergreen was looking beyond her then, towards the road, where after a glance over her shoulder, Lisanna found Freed was coming down, no doubt the person she'd been waiting on.
It had been a failed endeavor, clearly, for Lisanna, and as she turned to walk away, Evergreen only sighed, watching for a moment before she spoke.
"From all I've heard," she finally called to the other woman, "Bickslow seems to really...think that you're interesting, at least. And enjoys whatever the weird things are that the two of you do together. Make of it what you will."
But the problem was, as Lisanna went on her way, that she didn't know what to make of it. Of any of it. Evergreen wasn't to be trusted either, of course, really. Maybe no one was. And where did Mira get off anyways, talking about her to stupid Laxus?
Plus, she wasn't lonely.
At all.
She was just dealing with certain things in her own way and if Mirajane wasn't able to come to her with her concerns over that, then she definitely wasn't in the right place to be discussing it with others.
So there.
And how dare Laxus think anyways that he had any right to send his Thunder Legion after her. To check on her. Who were they to her? Other than guild members? And who was he? No one. Mira wasn't even too happy with him anyways. Would he like it if Lisanna blabbed that information around? Huh?
Then there was Bickslow.
Ugh.
It really hurt in a way that Lisanna had never imagined. Because it wasn't rejection or a disagreement. It was him possibly being completely fake with her the entire time when, for awhile there, she thought that he was maybe the only person on the entire planet and the other she had visited to ever truly understand everything that she was saying and thinking and not saying and not thinking. Now it was turning out that maybe he was just playing her that entire time and really didn't think or not think or say or not say any of those things and wow, she was lonely, wasn't she?
Maybe.
But, not in the way that she wanted a manufactured friendship. She had plenty of friends. Very close friends. She was just kind of missing someone...closer than that.
And she'd thought that she'd found that, maybe, in Bickslow, but now…
Fighting with Mirajane though was just never an option for Lisanna. Not for more than a day or so, at least. The woman had given up her entire adolescence to raise her and Lisanna was very aware of that. Mira loved her more than any man ever would. No way would she ever fight with her about something so stupid for very long,
But she still was out on the entirety of the Thunder Legion. Well, Bickslow, really. She still liked Freed very much. And Evergreen was still Evergreen. But their idol…
"We've gotta talk," the slayer grumbled as he approached the table she was moping at with Natsu, Happy, and Lucy one day.
"I knew you'd come around," Natsu replied as he jumped up. "Laxus. I'm all fired-"
"Not you, flame retardant," the older man growled as he easily side stepped Natsu's flaming fist, allowing the other slayer to fall to the floor. "You."
"I would much rather you just fight Natsu," Lucy was quick to say as Happy jumped right off the table and ran to go hide behind the bar counter with Mirajane. Surely she'd save him from the wrath of her evil boyfriend. "Actually. Laxus."
"Not you either. God, are you all idiots?"
Probably.
"You, Lisanna, and you know it," he finished before nodding behind him. "Come here. Now."
"You can't boss me around," the youngest Strauss retorted. "I don't care who you are."
"I can drop your business all right here, if you want," he threatened. "I was being discreet for your benefit, but-"
"Fine," Lisanna huffed as, finally, she got to her feet. "But only because I want to."
He took her over to a table all by themselves where, after sitting down, Laxus took a deep breath before speaking.
"I," he began slowly, "am not one to admit when I am wrong."
"You really should learn to," she retorted from her own side of the table where, arms crossed, she refused to look him in the eyes. "Especially when you were clearly in the wrong."
Glaring then, Laxus took another deep breath because this was actually taking a lot out of him and the man hoped that Mirajane, who, yes, he could tell was growing a bit tired of him, would see this as a sign of how committed he was to making things work. He couldn't be with the demon, after all, if he was at odds with her baby sister.
"Anyways," he went on through clenched teeth. "This was all on me. Bickslow acts on my orders, yes, but those only extended into finding out what was up with you. So I could fix it for Mira and she could shut the fuck up about it. It had nothing to do with the two of you...doing whatever it is that the tow of you are doing. That was all on him. So for you to be upset at him for just wanting to be your friend is kind of absurd, Lisanna."
"It's more than that," she retorted. "Not that it's actually any of your business."
"Look, Lisanna, I'm trying really hard right now-"
"Bickslow lied to me," she kept up. "That's what I'm upset about."
He blinked then before frowning and asking, "So?"
"So? He lied. He-"
"I lie to my friends all the time. I lie to your sister all the time. It's what normal people do."
"It's what shitty people do and I'm going to bring that up to Mira, you know."
"If it's lying from the right place," the slayer kept up, "then there's nothing wrong with it."
"There's no such thing as-"
"And you won't tell your sister anything," he kept up. "Because if you did, Lisanna, I'd make your life miserable."
"You mean by making a guy pretend to be interested in me and then-"
"Why do you even wanna be with Bickslow?" Laxus kept up. "Fucking freak. You know, if that's all you needed to get out of your stupid slump so Mira could shut the fuck up about it, then I would have sent a way better guy around you than him. Bickslow's crazy."
That wasn't fair, for Laxus to say that. Because Bickslow wasn't 'crazy'. Bickslow was loyal to his friends, was passionate about his magic and babies and a horde of other insane topics, and though he had a hard time connecting to others, he was actually quite witty and quick tongued. He said awkward things and seemed to thrive off making others uncomfortable, but at his heart, he was a really good person who just lacked certain skills to get that across to most people.
Then you had his most revered idol calling him crazy.
"Yeah, well," she sighed softly as she finally met the slayer's eyes, "maybe I am too."
It would be another day or so before Lisanna faced Bickslow again. She found him right where he liked to be every Friday evening, it seemed. Up on his question rooftop, walking the ledge.
He seemed to sense her presence when she came out there, but said nothing to the woman as he only continued his deliberate pace around the perimeter.
"What happens," Lisanna finally called out to him instead of giving any sort of proper greeting, "if you fall? Bickslow?"
That got the seith to stop as well as his babies to flutter over to the woman, very curious as to why she'd returned to hang out there, after things had gone so disastrously the last time she and their father spoke.
"Do what?" he asked as he looked across the empty rooftop at her from behind his visor bars.
"You said," she continued as she took a few steps towards him then, "that if I fell, I could use my transformation to save me. What will you do? Bickslow? When you fall?"
He stared right at her too, almost into her soul, it felt like, as he replied simply, "I won't."
"But what if you do."
"I won't."
"You fell that day, from the tree. In the clearing," she pointed out. "What about that?"
"That was different."
"Why?"
"You had me all fucked in the head, cryin' and shit." He even shrugged for her. "It's like I told you. Up here, my mind's free. Focused. I won't fall."
"Until you want to," she added. "When it's time for you to jump.'
"That's the plan."
"Bickslow?'
"What?"
"Can you come down now?"
"No." He started to walk again. "Why should I? So you can yell at me again? When all I's doin' was rightin' my wrongs? That's the problem with dark knights. No matter what you do, you're fucked. You're either too kind or too dark or too something. Always too something. You can't walk the middle, you know? Of anything. Have to pick a side and choose it. Only fuck yourself up, you get caught in the middle."
"Is that why you didn't at least try and come talk to me? After we fought?" Honestly, that was messing with her big time too. It was very odd, really. One fight and he seemed to disappear.
"I don't chase after people who don't want me."
"That's literally all you do."
"'s'not," he slurred as he refused to look over at him. "None of those other people I bother...women, I guess, mostly, I don't really care about them and they really don't care about me. They shiver and act like I'm freakin' them out, but then we just both go about our days like it's nothing. It's a game. But me and you were friends. Then you didn't want to be that anymore, I figured, so I just left ya alone. Is that not what you wanted?"
It was her turn to shrug as she said simply, "Sometimes, people like to be chased, you know."
"Stalked, you mean?"
"You shouldn't have done it, Bickslow," she said, tone changing then as she got to the point. "Just tried to be my friend because Laxus-"
"That's not why."
"Then why?"
"What do you mean? Why? Are you not someone that someone should wanna be friends with? Is that it?" He snorted. "Welcome to the club then. 'cause you're way friendlier than I am. So what should I be then? Friendless, I guess."
"Or just have a bunch of pretend friends who only hang out with you because-"
"I didn't do that, Lisanna."
"Then-"
"I like you," he insisted then and he came to a stop once more, but still refused to look her way. "Lisanna. Not because Laxus told me I should. He never said that. He said to figure out what was wrong with you. I did that. But after doing it, I decided that I wanted to still hang around you. Because you're...I don't know. You're like me, I guess. Aren't you? I thought you were. I guess I'd feel pretty shitty too, if I found out that Ever and Freed were just playing around with my head, but I wasn't doin' that. Honest. I don't know what else to do to prove that to you-"
"Well, considering you haven't tried anything-"
"Other than the truth," he kept up. "You're the prosecution, I'm the defense. I don't have to prove shit. You do."
"Hung jury then."
Turning his head towards her then, he nodded some as, slowly, he moved to get down from the ledge. While doing so, he replied, "I'll get my executioner's hood then."
She didn't want to, Lisanna didn't, but she did find herself giggling some then, kicking at the ground, while Bickslow only stood there, close to the ledge, but not on it anymore. Neither of them were on it anymore.
"I was wrong, you know," the seith kept up though he didn't take any steps towards her. "Before. About… You're not one of 'em. And I'm not one of 'em. That inner circle shit down at the hall. We're on the outer edges of the second inner circle, maybe, but… I just wanna talk to you again, Lisanna. I don't care if it's as friends or...or something else. I just liked it, a lot. I have a hard time branching out, you know, from Ever and Freed, but me and you..."
"Yeah," she agreed, so he didn't have to keep up. Especially when she already knew exactly what he meant. "Same."
"Fuck Laxus." Then he bit his tongue, it seemed. "Well, no, the boss, he's a good man, really, he just… I'm sorry, Lisanna."
She smiled then before being the one to take the steps then. "Thank you. Bickslow."
He nodded some as she came to a stop in front of him and, with something of a grin, he said, "It's part of bein' a dark knight, after all. Our internal struggle. We constantly fight ourselves on things, to avoid fightin' with others. Until we wanna fight with ours. Then we do it till we're bloody."
"I really don't think," she told him then with a shake of her head, "that I'm a dark knight. Like you."
"Course you are. Only dark knights do this, you know. Come to places like this. To ponder. The rest of 'em live fulfilling lives. Not us. How could we? I see the souls, Lisanna, wander the earth. Everywhere I look. Lost souls. Constantly."
"Really?" she asked, but he wouldn't answer because of course not.
"And you," he kept up. "Well, you, you're just as bad. Bein' immortal and all. How could we not be hurt by all that? Not mistrust after all that? You'll see more of the world than I will, of course. Say, you think if I taught you my kind of magic, after I die, you'd keep me around? Lisanna? As a soul? A companion? Since you're immortal and all? Bet we'd have great adventures together. Don't you think?"
As she made a face at him once more, though it was more playful than it had been since their argument, Lisanna only started with, "I already told you that-"
"Ah-ah. Save it," he ordered before with a grin, his tongue fell from his mouth and he reminded, "This is the rooftop of ponders and all. You gotta wait till we got one over, to the one of answers. Can't get 'em mixed up, can we, Lisanna?"
"Let's go, Lisanna," begged the dolls as they circled around her, "to the rooftop of answers. Won't you come with us? Won't you join us?"
But she only eyed their father and, slowly, started giggling and he cackled along with her, and it was such a nice feeling. To not be so alone and hear the voice of your friend before you.
