DISCLAIMER: Nope, still not mine.

A/N: Angsty, yes. But still beautiful! :P

Remus sat, filled to the brim with self-loathing, staring at the still form of Sirius, swathed in the white of the infirmary sheets. He couldn't believe that this was Sirius. Sirius Black, who did everything louder than was necessary, faster than was necessary...wilder than was necessary. The renegade aristocrat, disowned and dishonored, but never disheartened, never disappointed. Now lying oh-so-still. Even worse, Remus couldn't believe he had done this to him. Sirius' eyelids fluttered and he moaned in pain. Remus flew to his side, placing a cool hand on his forehead.

'Moonikins,' Sirius coughed. 'Still can't keep your hands off of me.'

Remus gasped and leapt back, tears spilling over. Sirius looked at him, concern overriding the pain.

'Rem?'

'I...sorry...I can't...'

Remus fled the room, his chest hitching with the sobs that threatened to tear him apart.

--

Sirius hovered on his broom idly, trying harder than should be necessary to concentrate on practice rather than on the boy sitting in the stands. It was Remus; of course it was. Sirius hadn't spoken to Remus since he fled the infirmary. It hadn't seemed to matter to Remus that Sirius had assured him that he was ok, he was fine, he understood and accepted the risks and no he most certainly would not leave him alone, they were friends. Weren't they? And his side was almost fine now. There was a scar, sure, but it didn't bother him. But none of that mattered; Remus was avoiding him. But now he was in the stands. Sirius sighed in aggravation and flew over to hover in the air before Remus.

'How goes it?' he asked softly.

Remus looked up, amber eyes full of tears and regret. Suddenly his eyes widened.

'Look out!' he cried.

Sirius turned his head to be met by something very hard moving at great speed. His unconscious form toppled from the broom, landing with a dull thud on the ground below.

--

For the second time in too short a time frame Remus found himself curled up in a chair in the infirmary, staring at the unconscious form of Sirius. Why? What did he do to deserve this? Sirius was perfect...he was brilliant and attractive and extremely smart and...and everything Remus was not. Remus was bookish and dull and much more deserving of suffering than Sirius was. Remus sighed, running his hand through his hair as Sirius stirred. Sirius awoke to silence punctuated by mournful snuffling. His nose hurt like hell. Eyes still closed, he reached up and probed the offending appendage, wincing as sparks of pain shot from it. Broken, he thought miserably.

'How crooked is it Rem?' he asked softly.

'Not...really...' Remus whispered.

Sirius finally opened his eyes to see his friend, eyes swollen and red, cheeks tear-stained.

'Why Remmikins, anyone would think I had died.' Sirius drawled, sitting up.

Remus smiled crookedly, the tremble in his lips not unnoticed.

'I'm fine Rem.' Sirius said, all mirth gone.

Remus just stared mournfully. Suddenly James burst into the room.

'Glad to see your concern for my wellbeing overrode practice.' Sirius said, trying rather unsuccessfully to hide the grin playing along his lips.

'Well, with Remus here to protect you-'

Remus cut in with a bitter laugh. Both James and Sirius looked at him as he shook his head, eyes blazing.

'Protect him? I could've killed him.' he hissed before leaving the room.

Sirius made to leap from the bed and follow but James placed a hand on his chest, forcing him down.

'You may have forgiven him Pads, but he hasn't yet forgiven himself.'

Sirius swore softly but knew it to be true. Remus traipsed up the stairs, swallowing his sobs. He wandered into the library, sinking into a chair and placing his head on his knees. He felt a hand on his shoulder and could tell it was Lily. She always smelt of sugar. That was the one advantage he found in his lycanthropy; he always knew who he was with.

'Hey Lily.' he murmured.

She sat next to him; long ago had she ceased to be surprised by him. Even before he informed her of his...uniqueness.

'Is everything alright Remus?'

'Spectacular.'

'Are you sure?'

Remus looked up.

'Sirius is in the infirmary again.'

Lily nodded softly.

'Why aren't you with him?'

'I...I can't be. He gets...hurt when I'm around.'

'I'm sure it's not you.'

Remus' mouth twitched and his eyes filled with tears.

'I...last... He...I almost killed him.' he hissed, the tears spilling over. 'How am I supposed to live with myself if he dies because of me?'

'Remus. Don't take this the wrong way or anything but... Are you in love with Sirius?'

'I...'

Remus stopped. Was he? He shook his head vehemently.

'Maybe you should talk to him. I'm sure he's waiting for you, pining away like the overgrown puppy he is.'

'Maybe later Lily. Maybe...'

Lily sighed and touched his arm before returning to her friends. Remus put his head back on his knees and began to cry silently, his shoulders shaking as he fought to keep the sobs down.

--

After consuming a potion that tasted vile and seemed an entirely unusual colour Sirius deemed "Greblorange", Madame Pomfrey let him go, with some relief it seemed. Sirius rushed to the dorm he shared with Remus, James and Peter and, flinging the door wide cried 'I'm ba-ack!' as loud as he possibly could. James and Peter barely looked up from their game of exploding snap, used to these outbursts, and, much to his dismay, Remus was not in the room.

'Where is he?' Sirius asked.

James shrugged.

'He wasn't here when we came up. I'm sure he's fine. Probably studying, you know Remus.'

Sirius knew that James' indifference was feigned, he was just as worried as Sirius himself. He also knew that sometimes Remus needed space, and that they could do nothing until he returned. He sighed and curled up on Remus' bed to await his friends return.

--

Remus entered his dorm to find James and Peter playing exploding snap and Sirius lying on his bed. As soon as Sirius saw him his face brightened.

'Mr. Padfoot is ecstatic to see Mr. Moony.' he said, his grin widening.

Remus smiled softly.

'Mr. Moony is glad to see Mr. Padfoot, even if he does have a crooked nose.'

'Eep!' Sirius cried, dashing into the bathroom.

'Glad to see you're feeling better Remus.' James said before breaking out in cries of triumph having beat Peter yet again.

Sirius sauntered back into the room.

'Mr. Padfoot wishes to point out that his nose is very much straight and is unimpressed with insinuations otherwise.'

'Duly noted.' Remus said, collapsing onto his bed, comforted by the predictable nature of his friends.

Almost as if on cue, Remus' mattress bounced, the ancient bed creaking precariously, as a whine of 'Moo-oo-oony' rang in his ears. He growled a little, unable to suppress it. He felt Sirius' breath, warm and wild on his neck. I must be losing my mind, he thought, trying to ignore Sirius as he blew at his hair, obviously trying his damndest to irritate him. His mind drifted until he jerked upright with a strangled yelp, Sirius having sunk his (very white very straight) teeth into his neck. Remus frowned at Sirius who was trying to look contrite and failing miserably.

'Mr. Moony would like to inquire as to why Mr. Padfoot deemed that necessary?'

'Erm...repaying the favor?'

Sirius knew straight away he'd said the wrong thing, even before his eyes dulled. Sometimes his mouth got away from him, saying the wrong thing so as to hide what he really wanted to say.

'Get off of my bed Sirius.' Remus mumbled.

Sirius slunk away, a look of hurt on his face which Remus dismissed as misinterpretation on his part. This was Sirius Black after all. Remus flopped backward, covering his face with his pillow, wondering how someone like him managed to get involved with people like Sirius, like James. People who were important and wonderful and...loved. Remus knew he never would have been noticed were it not for Sirius and James. And sometimes he wondered if that might not be better. Sirius retreated to his own bed, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling, listening to James and Peter as they began another game. He sighed, albeit quietly. It wouldn't do at all if word got out that he was...ugh...sensitive. Not Sirius Black. He was loud and crazy and wild. It was Remus' job to be sensitive and sensible and make sure he never really got into trouble. He huffed, a much more becoming sound, he thought, and stood up, sure that some leggy Ravenclaw had been dropping hints earlier today. Now, if only I could remember her name, he thought, leaving Gryffindor Tower.

--

Well, it certainly wasn't Remus, Sirius thought, sure the same stupid flabbergasted expression was plastered on his face as on the girls. He pulled his jeans back on and sighed.

'What do you want to keep this quiet?' he asked, thinking not of himself and his reputation but of Remus, who hated being in the public eyes.

He saw the glint in the girls eye and almost shuddered.

'Date me.' she said.

Sirius did shudder this time. Sirius Black, tied down? He nodded reluctantly, for Remus, already thinking of how to dump her.

'Oh no Sirius Black. If you dump me I will tell.' she said, almost as though she had read his mind.

'Fine.' Sirius growled, cursing the little trollop under his breath.

She kissed him on the cheek, smirking just a little.

'It's Sofia.' she whispered before flouncing off.

'Fan-fucking-tastic.' Sirius muttered, slinking back to the dorms.

--

As Sirius sat down to eat his breakfast he suddenly found himself with a girl in his lap, fluttering her eyelashes at him in a manner he was sure she thought was attractive. He sighed as lipgloss sticky strawberry tasting lips met his.

'Bye Siri.' she whispered.

Sirius almost gagged and frowned in frustration at the silence surrounding him.

'What?' he snapped.

'Mr. Prongs is confused. Could that possibly have been a girlfriend? Mr. Wormtail, what do you think?'

'Mr. Padfoot? A girlfriend? Most certainly not.'

'What's her name?' Remus asked idly, focusing on his waffles and not on the overwhelming and frightening urge to obliterate the girl from the face of the earth.

Sirius thought carefully for a moment. He knew it began with an "s". Sarah? No. Susan? No. Sophie? Maybe...no...Sofia!

'Sofia.' he said softly, staring at his orange juice as if it were sharing secrets.

Remus coughed softly and picked up his tea, sipping it delicately. He immediately put it down, noticing the unfamiliar taste, but it was far too late. He hiccuped and from his mouth came a bubble. A rather large rather pink rather heart-shaped bubble that proceeded to hover above Sirius' head. As he hiccuped again, releasing another bubble, he prayed for the earth to swallow him up. It seemed everyone in the Great Hall was staring at him. As he hiccuped again he realized he was close to tears. James and Peter looked furiously at the laughing Slytherins, but thankfully Sirius was too absorbed in his own problems to notice the very public spectacle Remus was making of himself. Remus stood up, holding his breath, his face burning, tears rolling down his cheeks. He felt an overwhelming desire to sacrifice himself to the Giant Squid. He jumped, startled, as a hand appeared on his shoulder. He turned to face Severus Snape, who looked absolutely horrified. He held out a small vial of purplish liquid.

'Those bastards. I never imagined they'd use it on you. This is the antidote. I'm sorry.'

As Remus took the vial James uttered several expletives and Severus hurried away. Remus downed the antidote and immediately the hiccups subsided, the bubbles burst. And Sirius, Merlin knew how, was oblivious. That was not to be said about the rest of the school, however, Remus noticed as he sank back into his seat.

'Mr. Prongs would like to inquire if that was...a factual display.' James asked cryptically.

As Sofia planted herself in Sirius' lap once more, possessively, glaring at Remus, he whispered 'I don't know' before fleeing, the eyes of the majority of the student body on him. Sirius sighed and turned to his friend only to find an uneaten waffle and overturned cup of tea.

'Hey, where'd Rem go?'

James looked at him incredulously. Sofia giggled in a most ridiculous manner and whispered in Sirius' ear. He seemed to sigh and then left with her, his food barely touched.

'Something very strange is happening Peter. And I intend to find out what it is.' James said quietly.