Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone! Just a quick Avengers prank war oneshot. I may do more for different holidays, so if you want me to, just let me know. Hope you enjoy!
I don't own Marvel
He rubbed shampoo out of his hair and turned off the wet metal knob. Steve grabbed a towel from the door and stepped out of the shower. As he rubbed his hair dry and threw on some clothes, something in the foggy mirrors caught his eye.
He wiped away the steam and gasped. His usually blonde hair was a deep shade of green. Steve grabbed the shampoo bottle and poured some out in the sink, watching the green substance drip into the white bowl.
He cursed himself for being so unknowing to it.
But who would do something like that? The question crawled around in his head. Finally, he decided to comb his hair and walk out of his room like he didn't care.
The second he hit the communal floor, he wished he had a bag over his head.
"What the hell, Spangles?!" Tony exclaimed from the kitchen. He burst out laughing, clutching his ribs. Bruce was stifling a smile as well.
"Lord Steven, what happened to your hair?" Thor asked.
"Someone punked me," Steve replied. He scanned the room before his eyes fell to Clint, who was spread out on the sofa.
"Hey, Cap," he said and turned his head up to Steve, trying to look confused and innocent. When his eyes fell to Steve's green mane, he burst out laughing.
"I didn't picture it this funny!" he exclaimed.
Steve let out an annoyed breath and put his head in his hands.
"Hey, at least you won't get pinched," Tony mused, his face red from laughing so hard.
Clint got up an clapped a hand on Steve's back. "Happy St. Patrick's day, buddy."
"How long will it last?" Steve asked exasperated.
"A week, tops."
"Ugh. Fine," Steve muttered under his breath. The room fell silent. "Where's Natasha?" he questioned, wondering where the red haired spy was.
"WHO THE HELL DID THIS?!" came a voice from the hall. Natasha stomped in, her usually straight red hair now straight and green, same as Steve's.
Tony couldn't contain his laughter and dropped to the floor, clutching his ribs. Even Bruce was chuckling, joined by Thor.
Natasha scanned the room, her deadly gaze settling on Steve and his colorful hair. "You too?" she asked.
"Yeah. Talk to Barton about it," he said, pointing towards Clint, who was also laughing so hard he couldn't breathe.
Clint put his hands up defensively as Natasha shot knives at him with her piercing eyes. When his gaze matched hers, a strangled laugh came out from his throat.
"Sorry," he said, wiping a joyous tear from his eye. "It is impossible to take you seriously.
"Ugh. Steve, you're coming with me!" She dragged Steve by the arm and down the hall. He could just barely make out what the others were saying as they disappeared from the room.
"Watch out for revenge," Tony warned.
"Nah. They're probably just going to make out. Both the green heads together at last."
When they reached Natasha's room, she shut the door behind her and sat down on the bed. She still had a ferocious look in her eye.
"It doesn't look that bad," Steve tried, sitting on the bed next to her.
"You're still a terrible liar," she admitted, smirking before going back into thought. "We need revenge. And it has to be good. Lots of green."
They were both silent for a moment before Steve snapped his fingers, and idea coming to his head. "We used to do something as a prank back in the 40s. Take some green ink, swirl it into a drink and give it to him. His teeth will be green for weeks."
A devilish grin overtook her face. "And green in his toothpaste so when he tries to get it off his teeth it'll make it worse."
"Paint balloons in his room."
"Dye in the laundry for his clothes when he tries to wash them."
"I could do something to his arrows."
"Nah. We should save that one for another holiday."
By that time, they were both laughing. "I'm usually not that evil," Steve said once the laughing died down.
"I'm usually not this nice," she replied.
They spent the rest of the night working on plans about how to get Clint back.
"Morning. I made some hot chocolate. It's cold outside," Natasha said, handing Clint a warm mug of the chocolatey goodness.
"Thanks, Nat. You're not still mad about the-" his hands moved to her hair, causing a grin to spread on his face.
"It brings out my eyes," she lied, drinking her own mug of hot chocolate.
Clint drank his as well and it took most of her self control to not burst out laughing. He drained the cup in a few gulps and sat it down satisfied. "Thanks, Tasha," he said, flashing a green toothed grin.
She spit some of her drink back into the mug at his smug green face.
"What?" he asked, confused.
"A stupid bird was flying outside," she replied nonchalantly.
"Okaaaayyy."
Tony walked into the room and brewed himself a cup of coffee and was soon followed by Steve. "Thor went back to Asgard for some family shenanigans and Brucey is downstairs," he said, taking a sip.
"More space for us then," Clint smiled.
Tony spit his coffee out all over the counter and began cackling.
"What?" Clint questioned. He walked over to the mirror hanging on the wall as Steve came to stand next to Natasha, lightly elbowing him in the ribs.
Clint grinned into the mirror and a look of horror came across his face. "Awh, hell no. Nat, come on."
He walked past them and into the bathroom. They heard the sink turn on as Clint began brushing his teeth. Natasha gave Steve a countdown, slowly motioning on her fingers. Tony looked at them quizzically. When she hit zero, Clint was shouting again.
"NAT, COME ON. THE TOOTHPASTE TOO?!" came his voice from the bathroom.
Tony put down his coffee to avoid dropping the mug from all of his laughing.
Steve was leaning on her for support as laughs wracked his body. Clint came out of the bathroom, a serious look on his face. Toothpaste was dripped on his shirt and his mouth was now a bright green.
"You done?" he asked, raising his hands in defeat.
Natasha nodded. He sighed and pushed past her. "Well played, Nat. Well played."
He opened the elevator and went up to his room. Once the door closed, Natasha motioned for Steve and Tony to follow her up the stairs to his floor. They reached it about the same time he did.
As he turned the handle to go into his bedroom, the slingshot was tripped and a balloon filled with dark green paint exploded all offer his clothes and face.
He stood there stock still for a moment, blowing paint out of his mouth before wiping the substance from his eyes. It dripped out of his hair, making a green puddle on the floor. Clint turned to the hallway where all three Avengers were leaning on walls for support.
Tony pulled out his phone and took a quick photo of Clint looking defeated, green paint soaking his entire form.
"Great. I have to change now. Thanks, Nat," he said, walking into the room and tracking paint with him.
"That one was Steve's idea," she yelled after him.
"You got Steve too?!" he yelled from his room. He returned a moment later with the green paint covered clothes in his hand. "You hid all of my other clothes?"
Natasha nodded devilishly.
"How the hell did you do all this?"
"You passed out on the couch last night. It was pretty simple, really," Steve said and turned to go downstairs. Natasha and Tony followed, still chuckling, leaving Clint in only his boxers, bound for the wash room.
"Are you guys done?" Tony asked once they got back to the communal floor. "Please tell me it's a no."
"Well," Natasha said in a sly tone. She brought up the cameras in the washroom, showing Clint waiting for his clothes to come out of the dryer. As soon as it dinged, Steve and Tony watched as Clint pulled out his clothes.
He stared at them for a moment, his brow crunched together, before leaving the washroom.
A minute later, the elevator dinged and Clint appeared, wearing bright green pants and holding a green shirt in his hands. All at once, they started laughing again.
"Happy St. Patrick's Day," Natasha wheezed out.
"It was yesterday!" Clint exclaimed, throwing his shirt at her harmlessly. "You just wait, Romanoff. Come Easter, you are gonna get it," he threatened. It was hard to take a man wearing only green pants seriously.
He got back into the elevator. "And Steve and Tony had better watch their backs too!" Clint yelled as the doors closed.
The three friends took a moment to regain their breath. "Best. Thing. Ever," Tony exclaimed. "You pranked the prankster!"
The elevator opened again, revealing a tired looking Bruce. "What's with all the yelling? What did I miss?"
He probably would've understood the story more if his companions hadn't been laughing the entire time.
Anyone want to see how Clint gets revenge on Easter? I have some ideas, but I'd like to know if anyone is interested first. Please feel free to leave a review! Thanks for reading! :)