Little Lion Man
He had to get out. It wasn't true! It couldn't be. Dan couldn't… Dan said he would be there for him! It was all a lie, there was no way Dan would…would…would spread those rumours about him…Frantically he browsed through his twitter, seeing the hateful tweets that had been directed at him… A hash-tag, written at the end of every single hate tweet that read '#DanSentMe'.This had to be some sick joke. An April fools! He was beginning to believe that indeed it was just an April Fools prank until Dan burst into the room. "YOU FAGGOT. GET OUT OF THIS APARTMENT! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT! HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT LIKING ME? NO. LOVING ME?! Disgusting." The words pierced Phil like a knife, he felt like he was repeatedly being stabbed in the chest. And it hurt. It hurt so bad.
Phil woke up in a cold sweat, his hands shaking as he clutched Lion. "Phil? PHIL? PHIL, OPEN THE DOOR!" Dan shouts could be heard from outside the room, though Phil just winced at the voice. Grabbing his laptop, he hurriedly checked his twitter, releasing a breath he hadn't even realised he had been holding. No hate tweets. 'Thank God.'
He whipped his head round when he heard the door give way as Dan stumbled in.
"Phil?! Are you alright? I heard you screaming…" Phil nodded meekly. He just wanted Dan to go. "Come on, let's get you up." Dan said with a smile as he gently lifted Phil from the bed. Wincing, the black haired male wriggled out of the brunettes grip and made a mad dash towards the bathroom, slamming the door shut once he was inside.
Phil mentally face-palmed as he realised he had just ran without a reason. "D-Dan! I'll be o-out in a sec!" He stuttered. After brushing his teeth and taking a shower, he looked at himself in the mirror. 'I shouldn't love Dan…I-It's wrong and he's my best friend for God's sake! And he just wouldn't love someone like me… And to top it all off, he's obviously straight which means he likes girls not boys.' Realising that tears were beginning to gather at the corners of his eyes, he quickly wiped them away before exiting the bathroom. Pulling on a pair of black skinny jeans and his Gengar shirt, he walked out of his room and towards the kitchen.
"You twat! I was worried!" Dan said with a fake glare before breaking into a smile. "Phil, if you want to, you can tell me what happened. No pressure though and here, I made freaking delia smith pancakes!" The brunette said as he placed a few pancakes onto a plate for Phil who was now smiling. Dan really did know how to make him happy. It made him sad in a way. If Dan knew about the feelings Phil harboured for him, he would be sure to leave Phil behind.
The two of began eating, a comfortable silence hanging in the air. And then Dan's phone rang. "Hello?...Yeah this is Dan Howell… Is this Shirley? Oh hey!" Phil perked up at this, glancing wearily at his pancakes… He felt like his appetite was beginning to disappear. And his heart sank to his stomach as he heard Dan's next words. "No, I'm not busy. Alright then we'll meet up at Starbucks."
Phil just stared at Dan sadly before putting up a mask to hide the pain before Dan realised anything. "Phil I'm going to be out for a while today alright?" Dan gave Phil a charming smile before grabbing his jacket and walking out of the apartment. Walking, or rather, dragging himself towards his room, he sighed. He noticed that Dan's room door was slightly ajar. He knew he shouldn't go in there but…He couldn't help it.
He inhaled deeply as he entered the room before sighing as he looked at Dan's bed. He would never be cuddled up next to Dan, sleeping soundly. Why? Because Dan was straight, heck he was probably meeting up with that Shirley girl right now, and Phil? He was fucking gay… Phil looked down at his legs. The urge to mar his skin was growing stronger but he had to stop, he didn't need any more scars than what he already had. He couldn't…No, he wouldn't. Shaking his head, he jumped onto Dan's bed and pulled the covers over himself, his inner turmoil resurfacing every now and then before he was eventually lulled to sleep by the unique scent of his best friend…
-O-
'Phil didn't look too happy… I hope he's not upset. I'll bring him back some cookies from Starbucks.' And with that Dan walked off towards Starbucks to meet Shirley.
As he walked into the shop, the aroma of coffee and sweet things wafted into his nostrils. Glancing around the shop, he quickly noticed the blonde haired girl. "Shirley!" He greeted as he sat down, also noticing how her stomach was beginning to form a slight bulge.
She smiled before placing a few papers on the table. "Well here are the papers… All you've got to do is sign them and everything will be cool." Shirley handed him a pen and showed him where to put his signature. "Thanks." He said as a waiter asked them for their orders. "Just a cappuccino is fine, 2 sugars." She said to the waiter. "And for you sir?" Dan smiled politely before saying, "Same as her." The waiter nodded before walking off.
"So…How far along are you?" Dan asked. Shirley rubbed her stomach while smiling softly, "Around 3 and a half months…" The two engaged in a light conversation, pausing when their coffee arrived. "How's Phil?" The question just seemed to faze Dan… Did she know? No, she couldn't possibly know. "H-He's fine!" Dan stammered out all too quickly. Shirley just raised a fine brow at his sudden change in behaviour. "Dan…I don't mean to be nosy or anything, but do you… Do you like Phil?" The brunette spluttered out his coffee before regaining his composure, well somewhat regaining it. Shirley smirked as Dan kept silent.
"Well, I wish you the best of luck with Phil, Dan. That is, if you ever decide to actually say something about it to him." The blonde said with a kind yet somewhat teasing smile as she stood to leave. Dan glanced up at her, "…Thank you and good luck with David and your baby!" Shirley grinned at the mention of her husband's name. She began walking away before turning back and seeing Dan standing up. "And thanks for giving me the application to that job!" He exclaimed just as she exited the store…
Smiling to himself, he paid for the coffee and left Starbucks. Looking up at the sky, he noticed that it was going to rain soon and so he picked up his pace, determined to get home to Phil before it started to rain. He reached the apartment, fumbling with his key before finally getting it in and then quietly walking into the house and shutting the front door. "Phil?" He called out. No reply. He checked the kitchen… Phil wasn't there…And then he checked the living room area… Phil wasn't there either… He finally checked Phil's bedroom, but alas Phil was nowhere to be found.
By this point, Dan was seriously beginning to get worried. He crashed into his own room; eyes wide when he saw Phil snuggled up in his bed. Dan sighed in relief, his hammering heart now finally being able to calm down. And then it hit him. Why was Phil sleeping in his bed? Dan knew for a fact there were more spiders in his room than in Phil's, so…why? And then he heard a soft mumble, barely audible but he still caught it. "…Dan…"
Why was Phil mumbling Dan's name in his sleep. This was confusing the brunette more than ever. It didn't make any sense! He took a moment to observe his best friend's sleeping face. He looked so calm and…and…and so damn cute. 26 year olds should not be allowed to look this cute, heck, it should be illegal!
Smiling and shaking his head, he nudged the black haired male. "Nnnngh…" Phil groaned. "Phil, wake up!" Dan said as he shook his friend once again. "..Huh? D-Dan?" Just as the name left his lips, a loud boom sounded throughout the apartment. Phil's eyes widened as he tensed up. Another boom resounded, Phil jumped a little. "Phil…? Are you scared of thunderstorms?" Dan asked softly, all Phil did was nod shyly.
"Well…Move over then!" Dan said as he sat on the edge of the bed. Phil blinked. Once, twice. "W-What?!" Was all he managed to choke out. "You heard me you twat! Come on, move over. The bed's big enough for two and look, you're shaking!" Phil couldn't tell whether this was a dream or reality, but whatever it was, he wanted it to last forever.
Dan made himself comfortable before wrapping his arms around Phil, who squeaked. "Uhm… Dan, its o-okay… You don't need to do that… I'll be alright. You don't need to force yourself…" Dan sighed, "Phil. Look. Ugh. AGH I DON'T….I…I…I freaking like you okay. Heck I love you! God I sound like the biggest twat on Earth…"
Phil felt his heart stop and then speed up uncontrollably. This was not happening. No way just... 'I'm dreaming…That's it.' And then Phil smiled, 'Well…If this is a dream I might as well confess…' So with the little bit of courage he had left, he spoke up, "…I-I love you too, Dan. More than you'll ever know. And I'm sad because…when I wake up, this will be over and you'll go back to Shirley and I'll be left alone to wallow in my own misery…And..And…"
Dan was still before, turning to face Phil. "Shirley?" He asked uncertainly. Phil nodded sadly, "Y-Your girlfriend…" Phil replied. Dan began chuckling as he smiled at Phil lovingly, "You're such an idiot sometimes! Shirley is my new manager! I applied for a side job in case YouTube doesn't work out, plus it'd be nice to earn some extra cash. And to top it off, she's married and is going to have a baby!"
At that moment Phil felt like crawling into a hole and laying there for eternity. "Silly little lion. You're the only one I'll ever love." Dan whispered softly as he gently pressed a kiss to Phil's forehead. Phil, by now, had turned scarlet. "Dan!" Phil whined. This was just too much for him. "Let's just go to sleep alright…And then later we can watch Buffy the vampire slayer. How about it?" Phil smiled up at Dan, he really knew how to make Phil happy, there wasn't a doubt, and then Phil gained the courage to actually kiss him… Where that outburst of courage came from? Who knows and frankly, who cares?
"Didn't know you were that eager, Phil." Dan said with a wink, Phil hit him lightly while muttering a 'shut up'. "…Dan?" Phil said quietly, "Yeah?" Dan replied. "Goodnight…I mean afternoon…Gah, I mean evening…" The brunette chuckled.
"Stop being so god damn cute." Phil looked up at Dan with his big blue eyes, portraying the puppy dog look. "Oh for fucks sake Phil. You're just asking for it!" Dan shouted as he grabbed Phil and placed his lips on the others while Phil let out a muffled noise. Panting he yelled or somewhat squeaked, "…Stupid llama!" Dan just smirked before whispering, "Your stupid llama."
-Settle down with me, and I'll be your safety, you'll be my lion-
A/N: I wrote this a while back and it's been lightly edited, so forgive me if there are any typos or small errors here and there, or if anyone seems OOC. Anyways, this was my first phan-fic and it was for a friend so yeah XD Well, hope you enjoyed and reviews are appreciated :) Thanks and the title is from Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons. It just sorta fit the story…
Weep little lion man, you're not as brave as you were at the start.
Rate yourself and rake yourself, take all the courage you have left;
Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head.