Well after trying to be serious and interesting, I've given up (temporarily). I remembered the fun I had getting drunk as sin and writing Forever Alone with my beta and partner in crime, Annavance92. So I tried it again. I let her pick the concept, and then I went with it. It should be amusing to say the least.

It's good to be back,

-Kano

It's good to be back as well. *winks*

-Annavance92

Seras pulled her raincoat closer to her body as the cold wind whipped around her. The pelting sideways rain beat on her knee-length boots and her polka-dot umbrella. Her feet moved as fast as they could on the slick pavement. It was miserable in London, and she was dying to get home to the warmth and relative safety of the Hellsing manor. A flash of lightning and a roll of thunder in the distance only spurred her on. As the crackle darted across the sky, Seras realized that she wasn't alone in the night. There was a small, dark figure huddled in the middle of the avenue, and it was breathing. She drew closer to it without a single thought for her own well-being. It could have been a large rat, or maybe a grey fox hit by a car. It could have been an escaped possum from the zoo, just playing dead. It turned out to be none of those things.

It was a kitten. The tiny beast only weighed a kilo or two, and most of it was soggy black fur. It mewled weakly as she approached, the sound her footsteps lost amidst the percussion of falling rain. She watched the emaciated kitten try to stand, but its tiny knees buckled under the weight of its light body. And suddenly the eternal teenager couldn't bear it anymore. The lump of quivering fur didn't even protest as she gently picked it up and gently slid it inside her coat. Her body didn't have the warmth of rushing blood that it once did, but it was a bit warmer than the frigid air. The kitten nuzzled into the soft fabric of her shirt, shaking with cold and fatigue. Now Seras had a reason to walk even faster; she wanted to get the kitten somewhere warm and safe.

The fireplaces in the Hellsing manor were roaring, courtesy of Walter, so it certainly was warm inside. Whether it would be safe for the kitten though, remained to be seen. Seras stumbled into Sir Hellsing's office looking like a bedraggled stray herself. Her umbrella had been abandoned on the sidewalk; she needed two hands to hold the animal against her chest. So instead, her blonde hair clung to her cheeks and her soaking coat left trails of droplets on the antique rugs.

Integra sighed heavily as she noted the small head poking up from the safety of Seras's jacket. "You know we can't," she answered before the girl could even ask.

The draculina's lower lip quivered. "But just look at her, so small and scared! We can't turn her out."

"She's a cute little thing, I have to admit. But I'm sorry." Integra shook her head sadly. "Surely you remember?"

Seras winced. She remembered alright, and she wasn't the only one.

"How could I forget?" a deep baritone voice said from the doorway. "Gordo was a delicious hamster."

"Sir Gordon," Seras corrected, hugging the kitten tighter. Her eyes turned to her master as he towered over her. It was him she needed to convince, not Sir Hellsing. Integra liked animals; she'd come around to a new pet.

"No!" Alucard said, quite firmly. He eyed the creature in her arms suspiciously. "I hate cats. They're always plotting something."

"But just look at her little innocent face!" his protegee insisted with wide eyed enthusiasm. "With her tiny paws and her big eyes and her little bitty whiskers and-" She paused to sniffle theatrically. "And... and... she's all alone!"

His nose wrinkled in disgust. "She smells."

Integra retorted for the girl. "Have you smelled yourself lately? You reek of blood and viscera."

"I take it you don't approve of my new cologne," the vampire said dryly. "But look at the thing," he said with an exasperated gesture. "It's pathetic. And the red eyes can't be a good sign."

Seras furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, looking at the cat once more. Sure enough, her master was right. By the light of the fire, she could see the sanguine irises peering back at her, full of hopefulness. "I think they're cute."

"It would make sense if she was an albino cat, but with that fur, I'm calling it. That cat is a demon," Alucard insisted.

"You just don't like cats," Integra sighed. "I know we face vampires and crazy stories all the time, but it's just a cat. Can't you make a sane argument?"

"It'll need food."

Seras brightened. "I can take care of her! I'll feed her little fishies and give her milk and I'll brush her and bathe her and get her a tiny little collar and-"

Alucard promptly quieted the girl by placing a gloved hand over her mouth. Her mouth tickled his palms as it continued speaking muffled nonsense, but he silenced her with a look. "If I see it," he said in a dangerously soft voice, "anywhere near my basement..."

Seras mumbled something insistently. With a roll of his eyes, her master removed his hand, wiping his glove on his crimson jacket. "I said," the girl repeated, "that you won't. You won't see her." Then she bent her head down to peer at the kitten. Her voice jumped a few octaves as she pressed her fingertip to one of the kitten's tiny paws. "Master won't see you because you'll be with me precious."

Alucard looked pleadingly at the Hellsing director. She was unsympathetic. Instead, with a wide smile, she turned to Seras and said, "Bring her here, please."

With a spring in her step, the blonde indulged her boss, carefully placing the kitten on Integra's lap. It purred immediately, taking in the warmth of the living woman's lap and the radiating heat of the fire. Integra placed a tentative hand behind the creature's ears, and her face lit up when it rubbed against her fingertips. "Alright," Sir Hellsing decided. "She can stay."

Seras threw her arms around the surprised director, knocking the other woman's glasses awry. Integra was fairly sure there was some high pitched squealing, for she saw Alucard squinting as he inserted his pinky into his ear in a very ungentlemanly fashion. He shook his head, glaring at the ball of fur that had arrived to make his life miserable. In the midst of their delight, the two blondes failed to notice that the kitten's red eyes stared back the vampire. If they'd have seen it, they might have noticed the eerie smile that crept across the feline's lips. They were too busy celebrating their victory over the No-Life King. But Alucard noticed it as he glared at the kitten. His lips twisted into a sneer as he retreated from the room. That cat had to go.

Stay tuned for next time when Integra and Seras try to name their new pet, and when the kitten wanders into the one place it is forbidden: Alucard's bedroom.