Please note that I don't own Fitzwilliam or anyone in this chapter.

Chapter 1

Ways to Annoy Fitzwilliam P. Dalton III

Go up to him and tell him Arabella is in love with him and then after he says "really!" yell "not!" and run off laughing.

Go up to him and say "I am so in love with you!" and then kiss him and run away. Repeat every 3 minutes.

Start singing Gwen Stefani's song "Rich Girl" in front of him, and then tell him it resembles him.(if you don't get it, I'm saying you're calling him a girl.)

Ask him to tell you about himself and then in the middle of his story say " I didn't ask to hear about your life!" when he looks at you confused, walk away. JUST. WALK. AWAY.

Go up to him and ask him if he likes Jack knowing good and well he doesn't. Say " Shun the nonbeliever!"

After he gets through saying something say "That's what she said."

Go up to him and yell "The British are coming, the British are coming!" while running in a circle around him.

Go up to him and say " I know your secret and what you're really doing here" and when he tells you he can explain being a spy for the EITC and Royal Navy, yell "Sike" and laugh while he tries to explain himself.

Shout pretty boy at him and then look at him weirdly and say " I didn't say a thing, what are you looking at?" repeat every 2 minutes.

Yell " I hate Aristocrats" at random and smile at him. Continue until he gets annoyed.

Purposefully talk about older sisters knowing that pirates kidnapped his.

Take his pocket watch and threaten to throw it overboard or smash it and watch him cry like a little girl.

Walk up to him and mess up his hair and then run while he chases you.

Purposefully call him Fitzy knowing that he hates it.

Go up to him and start beating on him yelling "Give me back my chocolate, you stole my chocolate!" When he protests reply saying "Quit lying I know you took my precious, precious candy bar, Give it back!" Run off and repeat your rant several more times.

Tell him you heard that his family got overthrown from ruling and pirates are now in charge and see his reaction.

Tell you heard they found his sister and then admit you're joking and walk away with an evil grin.

Go up to him and start poking him and then when he responds say " I don't understand your English accent. Get rid of it or get away from me." Then keep poking him and when he responds to that, say " I don't understand French, Japanese, or Latin either." Continue poking him and after his last response say " Fine. Gold star, Fitzy knows how to speak in different languages and I don't. Ha Ha."

Yell "hey rich dude" at him and when he looks at you just stare at him, then walk away. Repeat every 5 minutes and try not be obvious that you are annoying him.

Go up to Jack and kiss him right in front of Fitzwilliam. Then see his reaction.

Stand up next to Fitzwilliam and get the crew's attention, then say "The force is strong with this one." pointing at Fitz. The look at the crew with their confused faces (even jack who says a lot of confusing things) looking at you like they don't know what the heck you said.

Yell "Blondie" at Fitz and then when he stares at you just don't say a word and walk away. Repeat every 10 minutes.

Dress up like him and mock everything he says using an English accent.

Go up to him and rip his jacket and say "I didn't like your jacket, so I ripped it, bye."

Walk up to him and say "You're hot!" and when he responds say "You heard me!" repeat every 10 minutes.

If he walks up behind you yell "Stalker!"

Go up to him with your clothes covered with dirt and fake blood like you've been beat up and say "I came back from the dead and I'm going to kill you" then stalk him.

If he comes up to you and taps you yell " Assault, Assault!"

When he says he's hungry ask "do you want some Ritz Fitz?

Every time he tries to argue, say something snotty, or say anything, cut him off by babbling or mumbling.

When he tries to talk reply saying "did you hear something?" like you're ignoring him.

If you do all these things Jack (captain jack) would be most pleased with you. You may in fact be worse than him.

I did get some help writing these from my friends and sister. I hope you liked them. Please review, I really want to hear from you.