DISCLAIMER:  No copyright violation intended. Characters = not mine. *pout!*

Doorstep

By Jane Moss

What was she doing here? Her rational side kept telling her to turn back right now if she was to stop herself looking like a fool. But how much worse could it be now? She couldn't force herself to go into her own apartment. Sara had spent almost half an hour sitting in her car and staring through her windshield. Nobody was home waiting for her anyway.

Then she drove and ended up here. Her eyes stung in protest as she once again resumed staring into the darkness before her. Droplets on her windshield slid down the glass like tears. Images of the victim flashed in her mind. She was no older than 15 and already raped and beaten to death and dumped in an alleyway. She remembered the tears of her parents. She remembered the angry black bruising on her cold pale skin. Sara had just pulled a double shift with little nourishment and her body was becoming limp and heavy under her. No DNA. No fingerprints. Killer walks free.

She needed to get out of the car now if she wanted to go anywhere, as soon she would be too weak and tired to walk. The world spun around her as she got up a little too fast and Sara leaned into the side of her car until her vision cleared and the ringing in her ears subsided. She hadn't had a decent meal in days. Only when she was out did she notice the heavy drops of rain hitting hard against her skin.

She half crawled up the steps when it became too difficult to walk straight and clung to the railing for her support. Not a second thought before her knuckles met the hard wood door. Only seconds later did her eyes finally open and she desperately wished no one was home.

No sound. She let out a breath she was holding and the torture returned. She couldn't help getting personally involved in that case. It wasn't an option. Slowly, Sara's tired body slid down until she was sitting on the doormat with her back against the wooden barrier. An empty apartment wasn't her wish anymore. Here she was feeling sorry for a victim, when she didn't have a soul to comfort her. Las Vegas, with all the sparkling lights and all the people offering friendship and yet no one was there with her.

She couldn't stop the tears slowly sliding down, leaving hot trails on her cheeks. Why was she alone every day? She knew exactly why. It was the same reason she had come to Vegas. Suddenly angry, she hit the door harder with one hand, knowing that all she was doing was hurting herself. He was at work. How could she have not thought of that? Her car was too far away now to attempt retracing her steps.

Click. What the hell? "Oww…" She found her self on the floor as the door pulled open. She closed her eyes as the dull ache settled itself in the back of her head.

"Oh, Sara…" Warm hands were around her face. "What happened?" She couldn't look into his eyes. How could she possibly explain why she'd just fell through his door? He was saying something else. "I thought I misheard…" He was touching her cold hands now, letting his slow warmth seep away. "I looked… I didn't see anyone there…" He trailed off as he realised he was speaking to calm himself more than anything else. With one arm under her knees and the other under her back, he lifted her up and shut the door with his foot. How could have not noticed how light she had become? The signs were all there. He tried to crush the worry arising within him as he stole another glance at her pale face. She still had not opened her eyes to him.

Gently he placed her down on his sofa and ran into the other room for a blanket. He wasn't sure if she was aware of shivering. What was she thinking, sitting at his cold porch at night, her clothes wet from the rain? She was supposed to be at home in bed. Without thought, his hands started rubbing her arms over the blanket in an attempt to warm her through friction and in a moment of hesitation he leaned over her gently covering her body with his. She was still shivering so he pressed her down a bit harder, desperate to get her warm, as his arms went around her.

She smelled so good. He wanted to hit himself for thinking of such things in her time of need. After a few long minutes, her body became still and she could feel his hot breath at her neck. Sara smiled, despite herself, as his embrace unleashed another kind of warmth to spread through her, inside and out. She hoped it would never end. She knew better than that…

He made a move to get up, when her hands wrapped themselves around his back and she clung to him as if her life depended on it. He couldn't suppress a shaky breath and pulled them both a bit higher up the armrest of the sofa. It was so warm in her arms. He could feel his heart thudding hard inside his chest. Only she could bring out such powerful reactions in him.

Just a little longer… That was all he could hear going through his mind. Nobody would find out. Nobody would know. This moment was outside of time. A moment when she was his and he was hers. Alone. Nobody else.

"Grissom," she whispered so softly, he had to strain in order to hear her and not for the first time, thanked any deities he could think of for restoring his hearing. The sound of her voice was worth it all.

"I…" he could seem to find his voice, "I'm here"

They let go and each immediately regretted the loss of contact. She had no idea how to explain herself, as she met his questioning gaze. The man refuses dinner, then runs off for a month, only to come back acting as if nothing had happened. His feelings were abundantly clear and still she pushed herself towards his door. She was a fool to believe otherwise.

"What are you doing here?" He could have slapped himself for how cold it sounded.

Another pitch of sadness settled on her face. "I don't know" She almost cried, but instead relaxed her face completely against the pain inside.

His expression remained detached, like the same blank page. He let out a deep breath, remembering the words 'I don't know what to do about this'. For that is exactly how he felt right now. "You're supposed to be at home, Sara"

This time he actually saw her eyes glisten and he hated himself more than ever for pushing her away. He hurt her again. She felt his words push the blade deeper into her wounded heart, as she struggled to get up, before the tears started flowing. Who was she kidding? Nobody needed her. He might have as well said, 'Get outta here'.

She had just barely managed to turn her face away from him when the first hot tears scorched her skin and fell to her lap with a definite 'tap tap'. "I'll go. You don't want me here. I'll go". Where? Where would she go? As she slid herself from his sofa, her legs didn't support her and she plunged to the floor, when a strong pair of arms caught her before she could hit the ground.

"God, Sara…" she heart him whisper. But it was all a dream from there and she was falling deeper into sleep, until his voice faded from her consciousness.

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Please review… it inspires my muse to be a happy bunny so I can write more stuff! Thanks! – J.M.:)