I was bored. I admit it. This is the product. I was perusing the site,
and I kept hitting little mary-sue fics. Some were funny, some were not,
some were just bizarre. And I was struck by inspiration. Believe you me,
at that hour it hurt. Anyway, this is the product.
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Arcane: What exactly is this supposed to be about?
Dexroth: You're about to be sucked into a mary-sue fic.
Danny: BOTH of US?
Dexroth: It's not as bad as it sounds. Trust me.
Arcane:.Right-hand whacko...
Dexroth: You're going to regret that.
*^^**^^*^^*^*^^**^*^*^*^^*
ONCE UPON A TIME IN A PLACE CALLED BAYVILLE
There was a band of mutants. Yes indeedy, these were the same mutants we all know and love, plus three! If you have been keeping up with my other fics, which no doubt you have or I shall look at you with deep sadness, then you will know two such people. One is the wildly popular Danny, the animal Empath who has yet to find a sassy codename, because face it people, there just isn't a lot of good codenames out there for that sort of person. And manimal is already taken, darn it. The other is Arcane, who's real name I will not divulge because..I don't really want to.
And the last, the most amazing yet, is Carneila Scorcha Nefirrit, etc. But for all intentional purposes I will call Bob- I mean, Carni. (small hands?) She had the power to draw every sort of man towards her, and destroy things just by glancing at it, has all those nice mary-sue powers, etc.
And this is where the powerful story begins, a story of romance, intrigue, drama, suspense, and-
Danny: Shoot me Arcane. Please.
Arcane: I only have one bullet for some odd reason. And you must be daft if you think I'm going to waste it on you.
May I PLEASE continue? Thanks. This story starts at the beginning-
Arcane: What a novel concept.
Danny: *snicker*
As I was saying, it STARTS NOW.
*^*^*^*^^*^*^**^^*^*^**^*^*^
The world was beautiful. Carniela etcetera walked out of her beautiful house to see the people she knew were standing out on her beautiful lawn. She had beautiful blonde hair with silver eyes, a great smile, a great wardrobe, and all those things that create mary-sues.
"Hello, Carneila. I know I switched the I and the e around, but that's not important. What is important is that I am Professor Xavier, you are an incredibly powerful mutant whom I will teach to hone powers, and did you realize how beautiful you are?"
She nodded. She'd heard it all before. Well, maybe not the mutant part, but everything else. The part about her being beautiful.
So she went off to be with the mutants. She told them to call her Carni, because that's what everybody calls her.
"Oh, how beautiful your mansion is," she breathed as she beheld her new home. Logan smiled at her.
"It isn't as beautiful as you are." All the men nodded in agreement. All of the girls thought this was odd, but because Carni used the jedi ability to cloud their minds, they soon forgot about it.
A large dog ran past her (guesses, anyone?). It was big and powerful. And fluffy. Mustn't forget fluffy.
'Ah,' she thinks to herself in that weird mind voice the audience can hear but everyone else seems oblivious too, 'I must take care of that poor waif. Obviously some heartless person threw him out. Come here boy!' Then she realized she was still thinking and actually spoke the words. Never mind that the poor waif had a collar with a nice shiny tag on it. The dog came over anyway.
"Oh you poor thing," she cooed, "Some awful monster has left you to die." Said dog looked around to find said monster. Seeing no one, the dog returned to look at her confused. She slipped into that animal speech that mary-sue's seem to exhibit so frequently.
(I will take care of you. You can stay with me forever.)
The dog gave this a couple seconds of thought. While he did, she looked at that nifty little tag that, more often than not, holds the name of the dog.
(Doggy? What an awful name..I will call you.Rufus!)
To which Doggy protected himself by biting her. On the nose. Then he ran off. But it didn't stop her, because she exhibited her mary-sueish powers of healing and healed her face.
Doggy should have gone for the throat.
Just then a girl with long brown hair wandered past her. She was not as beautiful as Carni. But she did have a rather handsome fellow at her elbow.
She did her best to meet his eye, but because he was wearing a fedora and not looking at her it was a bit difficult. But somehow she managed. They looked into each other's eyes. His pale green eyes and her beautiful silver eyes met, and they knew it was love at first sight.
*^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Arcane: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Dexroth: MWAHAHAHHAHAH!
Danny:..that hussy..
Dexroth: You're jealous.
Danny: She tried to steal DOGGY!!!!
Dexroth:..
*^*^*^**^^**^*^*^*^*^*^
Arcane kneeled on the ground, professing his never-ending love to her.
"I love you! I will do everything! I worship the ground you walk on and bow to you and lo-"
WHACK!!!!
Danny slapped Arcane. Presumably because she couldn't take anymore of his crap. But my muses have their doubts.
Carni and Danny glared at each other.
"You cannot stand in the way of true love!" Carni launched into a long speel about love and truth and honesty. Danny took advantage of her being distracted and called the pigeons from the roof to dive-bomb her. Pigeons will do anything for cheetohs.
Carni tried to call them off, but did she have a cheetoh bribe? Nuh uh.
Too bad for her.
**********^^**^*^*^*^*^
Disclaimer: I'm getting bored of these. So I'm only going to do this once. The characters that are mine are mine. X-men and marvel belong to somebody else.
*^*^^**^^**^
Well, that was as far as I got. Tell me if I should continue.
Review Please!
*^*^*^^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^**^
Arcane: What exactly is this supposed to be about?
Dexroth: You're about to be sucked into a mary-sue fic.
Danny: BOTH of US?
Dexroth: It's not as bad as it sounds. Trust me.
Arcane:.Right-hand whacko...
Dexroth: You're going to regret that.
*^^**^^*^^*^*^^**^*^*^*^^*
ONCE UPON A TIME IN A PLACE CALLED BAYVILLE
There was a band of mutants. Yes indeedy, these were the same mutants we all know and love, plus three! If you have been keeping up with my other fics, which no doubt you have or I shall look at you with deep sadness, then you will know two such people. One is the wildly popular Danny, the animal Empath who has yet to find a sassy codename, because face it people, there just isn't a lot of good codenames out there for that sort of person. And manimal is already taken, darn it. The other is Arcane, who's real name I will not divulge because..I don't really want to.
And the last, the most amazing yet, is Carneila Scorcha Nefirrit, etc. But for all intentional purposes I will call Bob- I mean, Carni. (small hands?) She had the power to draw every sort of man towards her, and destroy things just by glancing at it, has all those nice mary-sue powers, etc.
And this is where the powerful story begins, a story of romance, intrigue, drama, suspense, and-
Danny: Shoot me Arcane. Please.
Arcane: I only have one bullet for some odd reason. And you must be daft if you think I'm going to waste it on you.
May I PLEASE continue? Thanks. This story starts at the beginning-
Arcane: What a novel concept.
Danny: *snicker*
As I was saying, it STARTS NOW.
*^*^*^*^^*^*^**^^*^*^**^*^*^
The world was beautiful. Carniela etcetera walked out of her beautiful house to see the people she knew were standing out on her beautiful lawn. She had beautiful blonde hair with silver eyes, a great smile, a great wardrobe, and all those things that create mary-sues.
"Hello, Carneila. I know I switched the I and the e around, but that's not important. What is important is that I am Professor Xavier, you are an incredibly powerful mutant whom I will teach to hone powers, and did you realize how beautiful you are?"
She nodded. She'd heard it all before. Well, maybe not the mutant part, but everything else. The part about her being beautiful.
So she went off to be with the mutants. She told them to call her Carni, because that's what everybody calls her.
"Oh, how beautiful your mansion is," she breathed as she beheld her new home. Logan smiled at her.
"It isn't as beautiful as you are." All the men nodded in agreement. All of the girls thought this was odd, but because Carni used the jedi ability to cloud their minds, they soon forgot about it.
A large dog ran past her (guesses, anyone?). It was big and powerful. And fluffy. Mustn't forget fluffy.
'Ah,' she thinks to herself in that weird mind voice the audience can hear but everyone else seems oblivious too, 'I must take care of that poor waif. Obviously some heartless person threw him out. Come here boy!' Then she realized she was still thinking and actually spoke the words. Never mind that the poor waif had a collar with a nice shiny tag on it. The dog came over anyway.
"Oh you poor thing," she cooed, "Some awful monster has left you to die." Said dog looked around to find said monster. Seeing no one, the dog returned to look at her confused. She slipped into that animal speech that mary-sue's seem to exhibit so frequently.
(I will take care of you. You can stay with me forever.)
The dog gave this a couple seconds of thought. While he did, she looked at that nifty little tag that, more often than not, holds the name of the dog.
(Doggy? What an awful name..I will call you.Rufus!)
To which Doggy protected himself by biting her. On the nose. Then he ran off. But it didn't stop her, because she exhibited her mary-sueish powers of healing and healed her face.
Doggy should have gone for the throat.
Just then a girl with long brown hair wandered past her. She was not as beautiful as Carni. But she did have a rather handsome fellow at her elbow.
She did her best to meet his eye, but because he was wearing a fedora and not looking at her it was a bit difficult. But somehow she managed. They looked into each other's eyes. His pale green eyes and her beautiful silver eyes met, and they knew it was love at first sight.
*^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Arcane: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Dexroth: MWAHAHAHHAHAH!
Danny:..that hussy..
Dexroth: You're jealous.
Danny: She tried to steal DOGGY!!!!
Dexroth:..
*^*^*^**^^**^*^*^*^*^*^
Arcane kneeled on the ground, professing his never-ending love to her.
"I love you! I will do everything! I worship the ground you walk on and bow to you and lo-"
WHACK!!!!
Danny slapped Arcane. Presumably because she couldn't take anymore of his crap. But my muses have their doubts.
Carni and Danny glared at each other.
"You cannot stand in the way of true love!" Carni launched into a long speel about love and truth and honesty. Danny took advantage of her being distracted and called the pigeons from the roof to dive-bomb her. Pigeons will do anything for cheetohs.
Carni tried to call them off, but did she have a cheetoh bribe? Nuh uh.
Too bad for her.
**********^^**^*^*^*^*^
Disclaimer: I'm getting bored of these. So I'm only going to do this once. The characters that are mine are mine. X-men and marvel belong to somebody else.
*^*^^**^^**^
Well, that was as far as I got. Tell me if I should continue.
Review Please!