A/N: First Grey's fic, so there. I was just watching A Lot Like Love the other day and Aqualung's song just popped up and I thought it'd make a great Grey's fic. Done right after the ferryboat accident (yes, it's been too overused, I know!) but I liked that part to go on and move on from. Will add more chapters when I finish this but I'll be uploading them one at a time because my Internet isn't cooperating. Hope you like it! Please read and review:)

Disclaimer: I do not own and I am not affiliated to Grey's Anatomy or any characters used in this story. I am simply using this for non-profit fiction. I also don't own Aqualung's song, Brighter Than Sunshine.

I never understood before

I never knew what love was for

My heart was broke, my head was sore

What a feeling

Derek Shepherd was tired. He had been sitting alone in his office for over an hour, thoughts of taking a short nap in the works, but so far, he still had no luck. Over the course of the day, he had been stuck with numerous consults and check-ups with his patients, two scheduled surgeries, and one emergency surgery for a little boy who hit his head on a pole while riding his bike. All Derek wanted to do at that moment was to sleep, curl up in bed with his girlfriend and sleep until he finally found a reason to wake up. Pressing his palms over his eyes, he let the darkness envelope him to relax himself, however, his thoughts were invaded with events that happened over the past week.

ooo

He headed towards Meredith's hospital room to check on her and possibly crash on the couch for the night so he could stay with her. He was still pretty much shaken up with what happened that day, with Meredith nearly out cold and dead for hours after drowning and her mother dying just as she was waking up. Derek felt like he was about to explode from everything: his fear of losing Meredith was certainly taking its toll on his consciousness as he headed towards her room. He barely even noticed the interns pass by, bidding him good night. They must've just gone to visit her before they headed home.

Meredith's room was darkened, the monitors and emergency buttons being the only source of light to the room, along with the bright fluorescent lights from the hallways that seeped through the glass windows. Derek sighed heavily as he watched his girlfriend sleep, monitors blinking around her and a thermal blanket wrapped around her body. He dropped his bag on the couch before striding over to her bed, only to be met with her blue-green eyes intently watching him.

"Hey there." Derek whispered, smoothing her hair as he leaned down to kiss her softly on the forehead. She smiled at him, his hand still stroking her hair. "Are you feeling alright?" he said, watching her closely. She could see the worry behind his gaze even if he tried to cover it with his infamous McDreamy smile.

"Hi." Meredith whispered hoarsely, still looking at him. With much struggle because of the heavy blanket, she scooted in her bed, trying to make room for him. Derek kept her from straining herself by gently moving her himself, before snuggling in beside her. "Sorry," she mumbled, pulling on the heavy thermal blanket to make more room, "this thing is heavy."

"Hey, hey. Don't worry about it. You know it's supposed to keep your temps up." Derek said, wrapping his left arm around her shoulders. Meredith turned her body to face him, her left hand intertwining his right as they lay in bed together. His face had an air of concern and Meredith frowned slightly. She somehow knew what he was feeling right now and she didn't want him to feel that way. He was about to open his mouth when she interrupted him. "Derek, I'm fine. It's going to be okay." Meredith whispered, squeezing his hand to emphasize her point. "I'm alive."

Derek's face softened at her words and he sighed. He could still feel the cold in her fingers, and traces of the accident from the morning were still visible in Meredith's appearance. Her hair was still pretty mussed up; hints of blue were still around her lips, the smell of water that drowned her in the bay still lingered. "I'm just worried Meredith." He whispered in her hair, "Today was the scariest day of my life."

"Derek, I'm so sorry…"

"Shhh." He murmured, putting a finger to her lips and tightened his arm around her, "I know you'll be fine. Don't worry about me. I want you to take care of yourself."

Meredith sighed in his arms. She laid her head on his chest and breathed in his scent, her hand once again intertwined with his. She could feel his breath on her hair, his warmth enveloping her better than the thermal blanket. "Stay tonight?" she asked softly, knowing his answer anyway.

"That was the plan." He answered quietly. Derek felt her relax in his arms and drift off to sleep. Resting his chin on her hair, he reveled in the feeling of having Meredith in his arms—safe, sound and alive. He thanked the heavens that she was with him right now instead of a cold, steel table in the morgue. The mere thought made Derek nauseous and emotional at the same time, he didn't even notice the tears leaking out the corner of his eyes. "God, I love you so much Meredith." Kissing the top of her head, Derek willed his body to fall asleep.

ooo

"Dr. Shepherd? Derek?"

Derek was jolted awake by a presence inside his office. Chief Surgeon Richard Webber had decided to check on his Head of Neurosurgery and found himself a surgeon huddled in his desk with his hands over his face. He knew Derek Shepherd had just gone through the worst week of his life, with what the ferry boat accident brought and a traumatic experience of nearly losing Meredith Grey while trying to revive her mother; it was enough to drain the life out of anybody.

"Ah, Chief. I didn't see you there." Derek said, looking up at the older man in front of him. Richard came in and watched the young surgeon in front of him. "Can I… uh, do anything for you?"

Richard stopped and looked at him before speaking. "Yes, yes. I was just supposed to get you to check on Dr. Grey." He said, momentarily forgetting what he was supposed to tell him. Derek was already up on his feet, his weary mind suddenly awake.

"Is everything okay?" Derek asked, grabbing his stethoscope and heading for the door. Richard followed suit. "Is she alright?"

"Everything is alright, Derek. Meredith's fine, don't get yourself too much in a knot." Richard said, gently placing his hand on Derek's back. "I just wanted you to check on her so that she can be cleared and released tonight." Derek instantly relaxed as they headed towards Meredith's room.

"Of course, of course." Derek muttered incomprehensibly, trying to cover up for his recent panic attack over Meredith's well being. He didn't realize that he was too caught up with his worry for Meredith, that any mention of her health was giving him random (and pointless) panic attacks over the love of his life. "Sorry, I was just worried."

"It's understandable Derek." Richard said consolingly, turning the knob of Meredith's room open. "I know it was scary, but you have to relax because she's doing fine. She's okay… and that's what's important."

Derek nodded. A talk with Miranda Bailey the first night he fell asleep on Meredith's bed surfaced, and he sighed.

ooo

Miranda Bailey was just about to check on Meredith Grey before she headed home. She was after all her intern and she did care for her, no matter how much they called her the Nazi. She didn't mind really, it was not her nature to be soft, but rather be intimidating and daunting. It seemed to work better in training doctors. She entered Meredith's room and wasn't all too surprised by the scene in front of her.

Derek was sleeping beside Meredith in that small hospital bed, his arm wrapped around her protectively. Meredith seemed content to sleep in his arms, her head resting lightly on his chest. Miranda picked up a blanket from the couch and threw it over Derek to keep him warm for the night before turning to check on her chart and monitors. He stirred from his sleep, his eyes squinting to see who was inside Meredith's room.

"Dr. Bailey?" Derek mumbled as he pulled his body up from his position to look at her. "I thought you went home already?"

"I'm sorry Dr. Shepherd, did I wake you up?" Miranda asked, hooking Meredith's chart to the foot of her bed. "I was just about to head home. I just wanted to check on Dr. Grey."

Derek shook his head. "Oh, no, no. I'm a light sleeper; I wake up with the slightest movement." He said, watching Miranda shuffle around the room. He just noticed the blanket around his torso. "Uh, thanks." He smoothed the blanket over his middle.

"It's nothing." Miranda muttered as she checked on Meredith's monitors again. "So… this is Derek Shepherd. The non-neurosurgeon Derek Shepherd."

"What?" Derek looked at Miranda Bailey. "What are you talking about Dr. Bailey?"

She was just staring at him. Miranda Bailey sure looked different when she wasn't being the mean surgical resident every intern feared. "You're Derek Shepherd. Head of Neurosurgery, a renowned doctor, a man who got his heart broken, but look at him now, madly in love with the woman in his arms." She shrugged knowingly. "Yet, for some reason, he still looks scared just as he was this morning."

Derek sighed. "I still am scared Dr. Bailey. I still am."

"Whatever for?" She was still watching Derek. The man looked like he needed someone to snap him out of his current state.

"Meredith. She didn't swim. She's a good swimmer. I'm still scared I'm going to lose her." Derek whispered, his eyes filling to the brim. No, he didn't want to cry in front of a resident. Especially, not Miranda Bailey.

Miranda sighed. "Look, Dr. Shepherd… Derek. Meredith—she's going to be fine. She's breathing on her own. And as much we know that she nearly gave up this morning, look at her, she's still here. Alive, breathing, talking and everything we wanted to happen to her."

"She didn't swim…"

"She came back. I don't think that's included in the list of 'giving up'." Miranda said, looking at Derek straight in the eye. "Look, we could've called her after we knew that her heart wasn't picking up. But we didn't, and she came back. Think of it, she might've been just fighting everything just to get back. And you know, it's okay to be scared. You're human Derek, and it's okay to be scared. But it's never good to think of those things when you know that Meredith chose you over death. She was already in the high heavens before she came back to life, and I don't think she'd be very happy to know you're giving up in the faith that she came back for you."

Derek closed his eyes. "Do you think… do you really think she came back for me?"

Miranda shrugged. "Her mother's dead. And she always has been even before she met you and became an intern here; she's been dead in her eyes for as long as we know. Her father doesn't recognize her so much so as another girl in this hospital. And you, do you love her?"

"Who doesn't know the answer to that?"

"Well, if you have been asking yourself if she loves you the way you do, you don't have to ask."

"What? I don't understand what you're saying Miranda." Derek said, running his hand in his hair. He didn't know Miranda Bailey could be a very confusing woman.

"Look," Miranda grunted, "I don't think you're stupid Dr. Shepherd. On the contrary actually. You have a good brain inside your skull and a good heart on your head. Now, if you've been asking yourself 'Does Meredith Grey love me as much as I do?' then the answer is yes. Yes, she damn loves you so much she came back to life. My intern loves you so damn much that she's willing to get all broken and battered and dead, only to be revived back to life so she can be with you."

With that, she left the room leaving Derek to his thoughts.

ooo

"Are you sure you're feeling alright, Dr. Shepherd?" Richard asked, his eyes surveying the young man in front of him. "You look… distracted."

"I'm okay, Chief." He replied, entering Meredith's room. Cristina was sitting on a chair with a cup of pudding by Meredith's bed; the two seemed to be in the middle of some discussion. "Good evening Dr. Yang and Dr. Grey." Richard announced as they entered the room. Derek simply nodded and smiled at Meredith. Cristina jumped up from her seat as the two senior doctors entered her friend's room.

"Uh, good evening Chief, Dr. Shepherd." Cristina mumbled as Derek approached Meredith's bed. She looked at her friend before she made a beeline for the door. "I'll uh… I'll come back for you later, Mer."

"I'll see you later, Cristina." Meredith said as she watched her best friend go. She turned her head towards Derek and the Chief. "Uhm, hi."

Derek smiled. "Hi. I'm supposed to check up on you so you can be released tonight." He said, cocking his head to the side as he looked at her. Richard Webber was holding up the CT scan films over the light.

"CT results look good." Richard said, still checking the films carefully. Derek had taken the position beside him to check as well. "I think you can go home tonight Dr. Grey."

"Yeah, I think she can." Derek nodded his agreement as he signed the release papers clipped on the board. "A few days off and you'll be fine."

"A few days off?" Meredith squeaked as she stared at the two doctors in front of her. "Seriously?"

Derek looked at her. "Don't you want the break? You need to take a break. That was just too much trauma for you to be back on your feet Meredith."

Meredith gaped at him. It was actually the first time that Derek addressed her as 'Meredith' in front of the Chief. Both didn't seem to mind anyway.

"I agree with Dr. Shepherd, Dr. Grey." Richard said, agreeing with his head of Neurosurgery. "You can have the next week off. And you can go home tonight."

She seemed relieved. "I can? Great." Meredith said, smiling. She swung her feet over the bed to start packing what little belongings she had in the room. She turned her head, only to find the Chief of Surgery and Derek huddled in the corner of her room discussing something.

Richard had pulled Derek off to one side as soon as Meredith had gotten up from her bed to fix her things. "I want you to take the week off too, Dr. Shepherd." Richard stated his eyes boring through the younger man. "You need to take a break."

"What? I really don't…"

Richard shook his head. "Look, I'm watching out for you here, as your boss and as your friend. You need a break. It wasn't the best week and you know that. You should be lucky I'm giving you this week off, but that's because I can see and feel that you need it the most over everybody else." He said, shrugging at Derek's questioning look. "I gave Dr. Grey the next week off. Just like you said, she needs all the time to get back on her feet, and you and I both know that she needs all the support and care she can get."

"But her…"

"Dr. Grey's friends are interns. And as much as they want to stay with their friend to help her out, they know they can't because they're in this program and they have to save lives every single day." Richard said, waving him off.

Derek rolled his eyes. "And I don't have to save lives everyday?"

"Of course you do. But you're an attending. That's the difference between an attending and an intern. You have the benefits, they don't. I believe you already know that seeing as you've gone through the whole damn process before."

"Ah." Derek clamped his mouth shut, trying to conceal a smile forming in his lips. "I'll take the week off then, Chief."

"Good. I'll see you in a week then Dr. Grey." Richard said, turning his heel towards the door. "And you too, Dr. Shepherd."

Derek smiled. "Thank you Chief." Meredith was still staring at him. "What?"

"You have a week off too?" Meredith asked in disbelief. "Dr. Derek Shepherd asking a week off from Seattle Grace? Are you serious?"

"Hey! I didn't ask. For your information, it was willingly given to me." Derek said with a feigned hurt look. Meredith looked up at him and smiled. They were starting over again.

"Hi." She whispered and held her hands up around his neck. Derek stepped in closer and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Hey." He whispered. "How are you feeling?"

"Good. Feeling really great." Meredith said, turning her face up to meet his. He leaned down to kiss her softly on the lips. "When do you get out?"

He laughed. "Right now would be good. I've been here for more than 72 hours; I think I already deserve my right to sleep in a bed. You want to grab some dinner before I drive you home?"

"Hell yeah. Now I know why the patients hate hospital food. It's really, really, really horrible." Meredith said, rolling her eyes. "Makes me appreciate your salads and your green leafy vegetables."

Derek stuck his tongue out at her. "See, I told you they weren't so bad." He said, resting his chin on her hair again. "Have you been living off the pudding?"

"Yep. And Cristina ate my last one." Meredith laughed as she pulled from the embrace and Derek never felt happier to hear her laugh again. Going back to her bed, she pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt over her head, and Derek watched her from his position, a small smile playing in the corners of his mouth. "What are you staring at Dr. Shepherd?" She asked over her shoulder, knowing full well the extent of Derek's gazing.

"I'm staring at you Dr. Grey." Derek stood behind her, facing the small mirror as she tied her hair into a messy ponytail. "Is there anything wrong with that?"

She shrugged. "Not really." Meredith said smiling. She turned around and faced him, her blue-green eyes looking back at his own blue ones. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah. Sure am." Derek said, "Uh, you're all packed?" He turned around, only to find a small overnight bag resting on her bed. "You're just bringing that home?" He pointed at the small bag.

Meredith followed his gaze. "Hmm, well, I did get everything I needed from my locker so I left them there. I just asked Izzie to bring me a few clothes and that's it." She said, biting her lip.

Derek smiled. "Alright, we better get going then." He pushed the door open, ushering Meredith to go ahead. Her friends were standing a bit off the nurse's station, apparently waiting for her. "Go meet them up first. I just gotta throw this inside my office before we go." He said motioning to his white lab coat. Meredith nodded as he headed off to the direction of his office.

"So, you're leaving tonight?" Cristina asked, her eyes following Derek Shepherd stalk out of the room. Izzie and Alex immediately stopped bickering when they saw her approaching. George's head snapped up as soon as he heard her answer Cristina's question.

"Yeah, leaving tonight and the next week off." Meredith answered, shrugging. "You're going somewhere?" Izzie asked, her eyes widening. "I wish I could go for a break."

Alex smirked. "Go drown yourself then Izzie. You'll get a break."

"Shut up Alex." Izzie snapped.

Cristina waved off the now impending bickering assault from the two. "So, you and McDreamy are going on a vacation?" she asked. George was trying to hide a laugh from emanating his mouth. Meredith looked surprised. "What are you laughing about George?" Cristina continued, staring pointedly at her fellow intern.

George raised his hands in defeat. "Not laughing. No, I am not laughing." He said, backing off from the mean stares issuing from Cristina Yang. His pager sounded off, one of his patients seemed to be on some sort of epileptic attack. "Uh, have fun on your vacation Mer. I mean, if you're going away or something." His pager continued to beep. "I gotta go." George muttered, breaking off into a run to the opposite direction. Meredith turned back to Cristina.

"How did you know Derek had the week off too?" She asked, staring at her best friend.

Cristina turned her head towards the direction of the OR schedule board. A nurse was erasing Derek's name from all the scheduled surgeries for the week and replacing them with the name of whoever surgeon was available. "That's why."

"Ah, I never knew that the surgery schedule could be the source of the new hospital gossip line." Meredith muttered under her breath and Cristina rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I don't know what's going to happen this week. We never talked about it."

"You're just going to be home?" Izzie asked, finally breaking away from the pointless bickering she and Alex were having. "I don't know yet, Iz." Meredith replied, "I'll tell you when I know."

"Okay." Izzie agreed, "I'll go bake you something if you're staying home. And I'll probably clean the house too, especially the room George used to sleep in. It's getting dusty in there."

Alex turned his head. "Is that room big?" He asked before being cut off by a page. Izzie opened her mouth to answer. "Hold that thought." He said, running towards the elevator to get to his patient's room.

"Hey, your McDreamy's coming." Cristina said, looking behind Meredith. Izzie turned to look and Meredith followed suit. "And there's carnage in the pit, Bailey's hollering. I better go." She said, both her and Izzie's pagers sounding off at the same time. "Call me for whatever." The two broke off into a run towards the emergency room, leaving Meredith alone to meet Derek.

"Ready?" Derek asked, taking Meredith's bag from her hands. He had changed from his regular hospital attire of dark blue scrubs and white coat to something that would match Meredith's current clothing: a pair of jeans, his lazy sneakers and an olive sweater. He handed Meredith's clipboard to a nurse in the station. "Dr. Grey's release papers and medical records. Please tell the Chief we already left, okay?" He told the nurse behind the high counters.

"Not a problem Dr. Shepherd." Meredith snapped out of her Derek-staring moment. Derek smirked. "Mer. Let's go?"

Meredith looked up at him. "Oh, yeah, yeah. Let's go." Derek pulled her closer to him, once again wrapping his arm around her waist. They headed towards the elevator and found themselves face to face with a tired looking Dr. Bailey. "Good evening, Dr. Bailey." Derek greeted, nodding at the resident inside the elevator. She must've not noticed their presence until Derek's greeting. Miranda nodded.

"Dr. Shepherd, Dr. Grey." Miranda said. She eyed the small bag in Derek's hands and back up to Meredith. "I see you're going home Dr. Grey. Good for you."

Meredith shifted uncomfortably. She knew Bailey might go ballistic for losing one intern for the week. "Uhm, thanks Dr. Bailey." She said softy, not being able to look at her in the eye.

Miranda seemed to have sensed the discomfort from Meredith. "I'll see you in a week, Dr. Grey." She looked up at her and gave her a small smile. It caught Meredith off guard as Bailey stepped off her floor, while she and Derek remained inside. Miranda Bailey did not smile at her interns.

Derek smiled at the exchange that happened between his girlfriend and her resident. Squeezing her shoulders, Meredith looked at him and he kissed the side of her head. "You'll be fine." He whispered. Memories of Miranda Bailey's last words this morning before surgery seeped through his fuzzy mind and Derek smiled.

ooo

"This is what love really is then, Dr. Shepherd?" Miranda Bailey said, cradling the hot cup of coffee in between her hands as she and the Head of Neurosurgery rode the elevator car towards the surgery floor. Derek Shepherd looked at her.

"Like what, Dr. Bailey?" He asked, cocking his head to the side to get a better look at his colleague.

"The thing with medicine, doctors and surgeons like to be in control. They want the damage and the chaos to be in control as they wield the scalpel in their hands, or when they push the drugs into the bloodstream of their patients. That's why some don't like medicine. They think doctors don't feel emotion because somehow, they don't feel anything when they lose their patients on the table. They are cold and unfeeling whenever they have to tell the patient's family that they'll never see them again. But it's not true, is it Dr. Shepherd?"

Derek shook his head. "No." It was true, Derek always felt miserable whenever the patient he just operated on died, or whenever he had the job of telling it to the family. It was easier to lie, but he knew well enough they didn't deserve that. And with what happened to Meredith, he never felt anything like that sense of relief when he knew that she'll be fine. She's alive, and she's with him.

"Love, you love someone and you can't get them out of your head. There's no medical explanation to it, there's no real reason behind it. People who are bitter say they don't know what love is, but that's just a bunch of crap. They want to be loved, that's why they're bitter. People always get their heart broken but they keep on loving. We sometimes need a hit on the head for us to know what's ahead of us. Love isn't just a feeling Derek."

Derek gulped. At some point in his life, he thought, he thought love was just being able to relate and understand someone, get a person with the same interests as you and you fall in love. That's what he thought when he was married to Addison. But after he met Meredith, it was all different. It was… everything he depended on.

"You understand love now, Dr. Shepherd?"

"So, this is what love is for." Derek whispered, looking at the woman beside him. Miranda Bailey sure surprised him a lot of times this week. "Thank you, Dr. Bailey."

Miranda simply nodded at him as they got out to the surgical floor.

A/N: I must've edited this thing for the nth time because I've been trying to get rid of all the grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. So there. Only few reviews, so I sad. :( However, I did get a lot of alerts, so thank you, thank you, thank you for reading. I'll be updating soon. :)