12.20 - Zero Hour – Day One
Just another slow midday in Torchwood Cardiff.
Ianto was in a world of his own, filing as he spoke to Tosh via Bluetooth.
"If Owen is still hanging off that railing tell him I think Myfanwy rubs her arse on that one" he said with a conspiring giggle and he listened as she called it out and Owen howled faintly.
"Moved like greased lightening" she giggled.
"Well, I am sure he could just go get a really big stick or something to impress her" Ianto said calmly as he checked another file and Tosh sighed as Gwen entered the conversation. They both knew she was the reason for Owen's hijacks lately, showing off for her like a baboon displaying its arse.
Ianto flicked on the screen nearby and keyed in the hub CCTV, watching Owen stalk about in front of Owen.
"And here we see the Juvenile Harper clearly displaying his strength as he struts, his posture one of extreme arrogance and power" Ianto said in an uncanny Attenborough voice, "It is said that their kind mate prolifically but only once per person due to the disappointment."
Tosh's face contorted on the screen and she opened a file quickly to hide her mirth as Owen continued to preen, unaware that he was being watched.
"See, the one foot forward so the crotch is prominently displayed, the socks shoved down the front earlier doing their job effectively" Ianto drawled and Tosh coughed politely to hide a laugh.
Owen had reached Gwen's desk and he shoved his hands in his pockets as he leaned forward to look over her shoulder.
"And now the classic scratch and sniff" Ianto stage whispered as if the world was watching from behind some branches, "Look. He scents his 'hopefully one time disappointed mate to be' while covertly scratching his wee balls. See the nostrils twitch, trying to see if she is aroused or if it is just the shrimp from her lunch lingering."
Tosh slid from her chair, trying to walk calmly for the kitchen as she squeaked and kept a hand over her mouth.
"He is invested now" Ianto hissed, "It's make or break and…there…a quick perv down the boobies she has so classically just adjusted for him with her elbows. Oh, definitely some unsatisfying rutting ahead."
"Ianto" Jack's warm voice filled the coms, "What are you doing?"
"Nothing Sir"
"Really?" Jack keyed in the CCTV for the archives and saw Ianto hunched over a screen, so he changed the perspective to ghost Ianto's monitor and he was shocked to see Owen leering down Gwen's top.
"What are they doing now" Tosh hissed, unaware Jack had spoken to Ianto on secure, "I can't bear to watch."
"Er, he just tipped the coffee over her actually" Ianto sighed, "Luckily it is cold. I really thought she might like that blend. Maybe it's like pissing on her leg, you know?"
Jack backed up the footage and coms, listening to the last few minutes of fun as Ianto resumed filing and Tosh regained her composure.
By the time Tosh walked back to her workstation she was calm and Ianto was silent as Gwen came back from the locker-room in a fresh set of clothes and Owen morosely slammed about in the med-bay.
"How long has that been going on?" Jack asked.
"Since she arrived" Ianto snorted, "They did the deed after …well. The cannibals shook us all up. Tosh doesn't know, she still thinks it's just an infatuation. I am trying to let her down gently, I think things are about over between the two of them. Gwen is definitely cooling."
"Shit" Jack leaned back in his chair and frowned, "Talk about an absentee employer."
"How were you to know what they do after hours sir" Ianto reasoned, his warm voice soothing, "After all. I was a clever sausage long enough."
"Ianto…"
The Hub went into amber alert as klaxons sounded and Jack swore as the team raced to see what was happening.
UNIT sent though a warning that a suspected terrorist cell they had been tracking was leaving London and they should be on the lookout for them.
Pictures, files and stats flicked across the screens as Ianto and Tosh stood side by side with fingers flying over their matching keyboards, gleaning as much as they could and implementing it into their system as Gwen watched was awe.
Even Jack stopped cursing as he finally realised Ianto was not only keeping up with his wee genus, she was giving him the lead. Ianto called out over his shoulder, "This stuff is weeks old, why are they giving it to us now? Shit, this data could have been useful days ago."
Finally Tosh stepped back and turned to Ianto. "I don't like this sudden caring and sharing."
Ianto tapped a few more times and then stepped back as well.
"Keep on the facial recognition software Tosh, I'll head down to the archives. There is a safety protocol for this. If this is a dirty bomb they're carrying we need to know all the contingencies. Her Majesty's service updated it just a few months ago so it won't take long to find it."
"OK, I will keep inputting the pictures" Tosh nodded.
"Gwen, get onto Swanson" Ianto swung to address Gwen who blinked with surprise, "The Heddlu will have no idea, this is flagged a covert. Share the blue file, blue for police blue line. Correct? Remember, share the blue file to her directly with a warning of urgency. We have a long day and night ahead of us."
Gwen turned to Jack, "Can he do that? Order me about?"
Jack looked at her with confusion, "Gwen. Ianto is my second. Did you not realise that? Have you really not read the handbook yet? In a time of national emergency the roles go according to seniority. The only person here with the most Torchwood hours under their belt, bar me of course, is Ianto. He survived Canary Warf remember. He was not ordering you around. He was giving you a task."
Ianto was unaware of the gripping session as he tore through the archives and the back room and he keyed in the code, stepping onto the vault and taking a moment to calm himself.
This was bad.
Really bad.
He pulled open the top drawer to a heavy metal cabinet and checked inside, cursing as he remembered he had dropped it low for rereading and he knelt, opening the bottom drawer with the top overhead like a shelf. He flicked a file up into it and sorted about for the Buckingham Palace one.
He stopped.
He canted his head as he listened to a strange whooshing noise and he turned his head to the right to try and pin point it.
Then …..
The world went away.